An Engagement in Seattle

Five

“Well,” Chase said, studying Lesley closely. “Are you going to call him?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

He seemed to doubt Lesley and that upset her, possibly because she wasn’t sure. Part of her wanted to speak to Tony. School had been out for more than a week now and she was starved for the sight of him. Admitting her weakness, even to herself, demanded rigorous, painful honesty. Tony was married, and it sickened her that she felt this way.

“I’m sure,” she snapped, then added, “although it’s none of your business.”

He nodded, his eyes guarded as though he wanted to believe her but wasn’t convinced he should. “Are you going to invite me in for a cup of coffee?”

Lesley stared at him, not knowing what to say. She needed privacy in order to analyze her feelings, but at the same time, she didn’t want Chase to leave, because once he did, she’d be forced to confront her weakness for Tony.

Eric came into the kitchen, munching loudly on a cookie. “Lesley’s the best cook I ever met,” he announced, looking proud to be her neighbor. His jeans had large rips in the knees and his T-shirt was badly stained, but his cheerful expression was infectious.

“A better cook than Mom,” Kevin agreed, rubbing his forearm over his mouth to remove any crumbs.

“Even Dr. Seuss is a better cook than Mom. Remember the time she made us green eggs and ham for breakfast? Except they weren’t supposed to be.” Both boys laughed and grabbed another cookie.

“Say, you two ever been fishing?” Chase asked unexpectedly.

“Nope.” They gazed up at Chase with wide, eager eyes.

“I was planning to ask Lesley to go fishing tomorrow and I thought it might be fun if you two came along. You think you could talk your mom into letting you join us?”

“I’ll ask,” Eric said, racing from the kitchen.

“I want to ask,” Kevin shouted, running after his brother.

Lesley made a pot of coffee. She wasn’t gullible; she knew exactly why Chase had included the boys. He wanted to see her again and knew she wouldn’t refuse him if it meant disappointing her ragamuffin neighbors. She said as much when she brought two mugs of coffee to the table.


“What would you do if I said I couldn’t go with you?” she asked, sitting across from him.

The healing calm she’d experienced earlier with Chase on Mount Rainier had been shattered by Tony’s call. She hadn’t realized how frail that newfound peace had been or how easily it could be destroyed. She hated the fact that Tony continued to wield such power over her, especially when she felt she’d made strides in letting go of her love for him.

“The boys and I’d miss you,” Chase said after a moment, “but I’d never disappoint those two. Every boy should go fishing at some point in his life. I’d like it if you’d come, but I’ll understand if you’d prefer to stay home.” He sipped his coffee and seemed to be waiting for a response from her.

“Would it be all right if I let you know in the morning?”

“Of course.”

The front door flew open and Eric and Kevin shot into the room like bullets, breathless with excitement. “Mom said we could go! But she needs to know how much money we need and what we should bring.”

“Tell her you don’t need a dime and all you have to bring is an extra set of clothes.”

“What time?”

“Six sounds good.”

“In the morning?” Kevin’s eyes rounded with dismay. “We don’t usually get up before nine.”

“You want to catch trout, don’t you?”

“Sure, but…”

“We’ll be ready,” Eric said, elbowing his brother in the ribs. “Isn’t that right, Kevin?”

“Ow. Yeah, we’ll be ready.”

“Good. Then I’ll see you boys bright and early tomorrow morning.” Chase ushered them to the door, while Lesley sat at the table, hiding her amusement.

When Chase returned, he surprised her by taking one last sip of his coffee and carrying the mug to her sink. He came back to the table, placed his hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“You’re leaving?” Suddenly it became vital that he stay because once he left, she feared the temptation to return Tony’s call would be too strong to control, too easy to rationalize. Standing abruptly, she folded her arms and stared up at him, struggling with herself.

“You don’t want me to go?”

She shrugged and finally admitted the truth. “I…want you to help me understand why Tony would phone me out of the blue like this. I want you to help me figure out what I should do, but more importantly, I need you to remind me how wrong it would be to call him. I can’t—won’t—betray my own principles.”

“Sorry,” Chase said, sounding genuinely regretful. “Those are things you’ve got to figure out on your own.”

“But…”

“I’ll give you a call in the morning.”

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

He hesitated and desire was clear on his face. “I’d like nothing better, but I don’t think I should.”

“Why not?” She moved closer, so close she could feel his breath against her face, so close that all she needed to do was ease forward and her lips would meet his.

“I don’t think it’d be a good idea just now.” His voice was low.

“I need you to kiss me,” she said, pressing her palms against his shirt and waiting.

“I wish…” she continued.

His breathing was erratic, but so was her own.

“What do you wish?” His mouth wandered to her neck and she sighed at the feel of his lips against her skin. She angled her head back, revealing her eagerness for his touch.

“You already know what I want,” she whispered.

He planted slow kisses on her throat, pausing to moisten the hollow with the tip of his tongue. Shivers of awareness rippled down her arms.

Her mouth sought his and he kissed her, his lips soft and undemanding. She slipped her arms around his neck and nestled into his arms, needing the security of his touch to ground her in reality.

When he kissed her again, she moaned, lifting her hand to the back of his head, urging him closer. “Oh, Chase,” she breathed once the kiss had ended.

He raised his head and touched her forehead with his lips. “A man could get used to hearing a woman say his name like that.”

“Oh.” Her response sounded inane, but conversation was beyond her.

“Marry me, Lesley.”

She risked a glance at his face and felt emotion well up in her throat. Blinking rapidly, she managed to hold the tears at bay.

“All right,” he said. “We’ll do this your way, in increments. Will you join the boys and me in the morning?”

Lesley nodded.

“I was hoping you would.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I have to leave now. Trust me, I’d much rather stay, but I can’t and we both know why.”

Lesley did know.

It wasn’t fair to use Chase as a shield against Tony. She would have to stand alone, make her own decisions, and Chase understood that more clearly than she had herself.

“I’ll see you at six in the morning,” he whispered, and released her. As if he couldn’t wait that long to kiss her again, he lowered his mouth to hers, kissed her longingly, then slowly turned away.

The sound of the front door closing followed seconds later, and Lesley stood in the middle of her kitchen with the phone just inches away.

“A trout can sure put up a big fight,” Eric said with a satisfied look in his brother’s direction after he’d caught his first fish.

The four of them were standing on the banks of Green River, their lines dangling in the water. Through pure luck, Eric had managed to catch the first trout. While Chase helped the boy remove the squirming fish from the line and rebait his hook, Lesley whispered reassurances to Kevin.

“Don’t worry, you’ll snag one, too.”

“But what if I don’t?” Kevin asked, hanging his head. “Eric always gets everything first just ’cause he’s older. It isn’t fair. It just isn’t fair.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than his line dipped with such force that he nearly lost his fishing rod. His triumphant gaze flew to Lesley. “I’ve got one!”

Chase immediately went over to the younger boy, coaxing him as he had Eric, tutoring him until the boy had reeled in the trout and Chase was able to take the good-size fish from the hook.

“Is mine bigger than Eric’s?” Kevin demanded.

“You’ll have to check that for yourself.”

“Yup, mine’s bigger,” Kevin announced a moment later with a smug look.

Lesley found the younger boy’s conviction amusing, but said nothing. To prove his point, Kevin held up both fish and asked Lesley to judge, but it was impossible to tell.

They spent most of the morning fishing, until both boys had reached their limit. Although Chase had brought Lesley a fishing rod, she didn’t do much fishing herself. Twice she got a fish on the line, but both times she let the boys reel them in for her. Chase did the same, letting the boys experience the thrill.

By eleven o’clock, all four were famished.

“Let’s have trout for lunch,” Chase suggested.

“I thought Lesley made sandwiches,” Kevin said, eyeing the fish suspiciously. “I don’t like fish, unless it’s fish and chips, and then I’ll eat it.”

“That’s because you’ve never had anyone cook trout the way the Indians do.” Chase explained a method of slow cooking, wrapping the fish in leaves and mud and burying them in the coals, which had even Lesley’s mouth watering in anticipation. He also explained the importance of never allowing the fish they’d caught to go to waste. The boys nodded solemnly as if they understood the wisdom of his words. By then, Lesley guessed, they both thought Chase walked on water.

“I’m going to need your help,” he said, instructing the boys to gather kindling for the fire. “Then you can help me clean the trout.”

“You won’t need me for this, will you?” Lesley asked hopefully.

“Women are afraid of guts,” Eric explained for Chase’s benefit.

“Is that so?”

“They go all weird over that kind of stuff. Mom’s the same way. One time, the neighbor’s cat, a black one named Midnight…you know Midnight, don’t you, Lesley?”

She nodded.

“Midnight brought a dead bird into the yard and Mom started going all weird and yelling. We thought someone was trying to murder her.”

“I thought Dad was back,” Eric inserted, and Chase’s eyes connected briefly with Lesley’s and for an instant fire leapt into his eyes.

“Anyway, Mom asked Kevin and me to bury it. I don’t think she’s ever forgiven Midnight, either. She gives him mean looks whenever he comes to visit and shoos him away.”

While the boys were discussing a woman’s aversion to the sight of blood, Lesley brought out the plastic tablecloth and spread it over a picnic table close to where they’d parked the car.

“That’s another thing,” Eric said knowingly, motioning toward her. “A woman wants to make everything fancy. Real men don’t eat on a tablecloth. Kevin and I never would if it wasn’t for Mom and Lesley.”

“Don’t forget Grandma,” Kevin said.

“Right, and Grandma, too.”

“Those feminine touches can be nice, though,” Chase told the boys. “I live in a big log cabin up in Alaska and it gets mighty lonesome during the winters. Last January I would’ve done just about anything to have a pretty face smiling at me across the dinner table, even if it meant having to eat on a tablecloth. I wouldn’t have cared if she’d spread out ten of them. It would’ve been a small price to pay for her company.”

“You mean you wanted a woman with you?” Eric sounded surprised.

“Men like having women around?” Kevin asked.

“Of course,” Chase returned casually.

“My dad doesn’t feel like that. He said he was glad to be rid of us. He said lots of mean things that made Mom cry and he hit her sometimes, too.”

Chase crouched down in front of Eric and Kevin and talked to them for several minutes. She couldn’t hear everything he said, because she was making trips back and forth to the car, but she knew whatever it was had an impact on the boys. She was touched when the three of them hugged.

After a while, the fire Chase had built had burned down to hot coals. The boys and Chase wrapped the cleaned fish in a bed of leaves and packed them in mud before burying them in the dirt, which they covered with the hot coals.

“While we’re waiting,” Chase suggested, “we’ll try those sandwiches Lesley packed and go exploring.”

“Great.” After collecting their sandwiches, both boys eagerly accompanied Chase on a nearby trail. Lesley chose to stay behind. Trekking into the woods, chasing after those two, was beyond her. She got a lounge chair she’d packed, opened it and gratefully sank down on it.

She must have dozed off because she woke with both boys staring down at her, studying her as if she were a specimen under a microscope.

“She’s awake,” Eric cried.

“Let’s eat,” Kevin said. “I’m starved.”

Lesley had the plastic plates and plastic silverware set out on the table, along with a large bag of potato chips, veggies and a cake she’d baked the night before.

Chase dug up the fish, scraped away the dried mud and peeled back the leaves. The tantalizing aroma of the trout took Lesley by surprise. Until then she hadn’t thought she was hungry.

They ate until they were stuffed, until they couldn’t force down another morsel. Chase and the boys conscientiously packed up the garbage and loaded the vehicle after Lesley had wrapped the leftovers—not that there were many.

Eric and Kevin fell asleep in the backseat on the ride home.

“They really enjoyed themselves,” Lesley whispered. “They’ll remember this day all their lives. It was very sweet of you to invite them along.”

She watched as his gaze briefly moved to his rearview mirror and he glanced at the boys. “I’d like to meet their father in a dark alley someday. I have no tolerance for a man who hits a woman.”

“He has a drinking problem,” Lesley said.

“Is that an excuse?”

“No, just an explanation.”

“The man should be punished for telling his sons he’s glad to be rid of them. What kind of father would say such a thing?”

He didn’t seem to expect an answer, which was just as well since Lesley didn’t have one.

Daisy was back from her computer classes by the time they arrived at the house. The boys woke up when Chase cut the engine. As soon as they realized they were home, they darted out of the car and into the house, talking excitedly about their adventures.

Daisy came out of the house with her sons and ordered them to help unload the car for Lesley, which they did willingly.

Lesley had been neighbors and friends with Daisy for three years. She’d watched this no-nonsense woman make some hard decisions in that time, but never once had she seen her friend cry. There were tears in Daisy’s eyes now.


“Thank you,” she said to Chase in a tremulous voice.

“No problem. I was happy to have them with us. You’re raising two fine boys there, Daisy. You should be proud of them.”

“Oh, darn.” She held an index finger under each eye. “You’re going to have me bawling here in a minute. I just wanted to thank you both.”

“Daisy?” Lesley asked gently. “Is everything all right?”

“Of course everything’s all right. A woman can shed a few tears now and then, can’t she?”

“Sure, but…”

“I know. I’m making a fool of myself. It’s just that I appreciate what you did for my boys. I’ve never seen them so excited and so happy.” Lesley wasn’t expecting to be hugged, but Daisy reached for her, nearly squeezing the breath from her lungs. “I want to thank you for being my friend,” she murmured, wiping her hand under her nose. Then she returned to her house.

Eric and Kevin were off, eager to relate their escapades to their neighborhood friends.

Chase followed Lesley into the kitchen. He helped her unload the picnic basket, then stopped abruptly, looking over at her.

“Is something the matter?” she asked.

“It looks like you’ve got a message on your answering machine.”

Lesley’s heart felt frozen in her chest. Trying to be nonchalant about it, she walked over and pushed the playback button. This time, Tony’s voice didn’t rip through her like the blade of a knife. In fact, hearing him again so soon felt anticlimactic.

“Lesley, it’s Tony. When you didn’t return my call, I stopped by the house. You weren’t home. I need to talk to you. Call me soon. Please.”

Lesley looked at Chase, wishing she could read his thoughts, wishing she could gauge her own. His eyes were darker than she’d ever seen them and his jaw was stiff.

“Are you going to contact him?”

She wasn’t any more confident than she’d been earlier. “I don’t know.”

“I see.”

“You want to remind me he’s a married man, don’t you?” she cried. “I know that, Chase. I have no idea why he’s calling or what he wants from me.”

“Get real, Lesley. You know exactly what he wants. Didn’t he say April’s out of town?”

“Tony’s not like that.” Again, she didn’t understand why she felt the need to defend him. She’d done it so often that it came naturally to her, she supposed. Although, she did have to wonder if Tony might be unfaithful to April, as he’d been to her.

“You know him better than I do,” Chase admitted grudgingly. “I’ve got to get back,” he said, as though he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

“Are you interviewing more…applicants?” she asked him on the way to the door, making conversation, not wanting their day to end on a sour note.

“Yes,” he said briskly. “Several.”

His answer surprised her. “When?”

“I talked to some last night and I have more scheduled for later this afternoon and evening.”

“You’ll call me?” she asked, trailing after him.

He hesitated, not looking at her. An eternity seemed to pass before he nodded. “All right,” he said curtly.

Lesley longed to reassure him; that was what Chase was waiting for her to do. To promise him she wouldn’t call Tony. But she couldn’t tell him that. She hadn’t decided yet. She remembered what he’d said about not wanting to compete with another man for a woman’s affections. What Chase didn’t understand was that she’d never try to play one man against another.

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you,” she said. To her own ears she sounded oddly formal. She stood on the other side of the screen door, watching him walk away from her. She had the craziest feeling that he was taking a piece of her heart with him.

She waited until his car was gone before she breathed again. She told herself she couldn’t possibly know a man for such a short while and adequately judge her feelings. She was attracted to him, but any other woman with two eyes in her head would be, too.

Then there was Tony. She’d loved him for so long she didn’t know how to stop. He’d been an integral part of her life and without him her world felt empty and meaningless.

Lesley walked back into her kitchen and listened to the message again. She thought about phoning Lori and asking for advice, but decided against it. Lori had said she’d get back to her later, and she hadn’t yet.

Daisy was the more logical choice, although her feelings about Tony were well-known. Lesley found her neighbor in the backyard, wearing a bikini, soaking up the sun on a chaise longue while propping an aluminum shield under her chin. Amused, Lesley stood by the fence and studied her.

“Where in heaven’s name did you get that?” Lesley asked.

“Don’t get excited. It’s one of those microwave pizza boxes the boys like, with those silver linings. I figured I’d put it to good use now that they’re finished with the pizza.”

“Honestly, Daisy, you crack me up.”

“I’ve only got so much time to get any sun. I’ve got to make the most of it.”

“I know, I know.”

“Where’d Chase take off to?”

Lesley looked away. “He had to get back to his hotel. Did I tell you eight hundred women responded to his billboard?”

Daisy’s eyes were closed. “Seems to me it’s a shame you’re not one of them. What’s the matter, Lesley, is it beneath your dignity?”

“Yes,” she snapped.

Daisy’s sigh revealed how exasperated she was with Lesley. “That’s too bad, sweetie, because that man’s worth ten Tonys.”

Lesley’s fingers closed around the top of the fence. “It’s funny that you should mention Tony because he’s been calling me.”

“What does that poor excuse of a man have to say for himself?”

“He claims he needs to talk to me.”

“I’ll just bet.”

“He left two messages and Chase was here both times when I listened to them.”

Daisy shook her head. “Chase isn’t the type to stand still for that nonsense. Did he set you straight?”

“Daisy! I don’t need a man to tell me what to do and I resent you even suggesting such a thing.” She remembered, a little guiltily, that she had asked Chase to help her sort out her feelings for Tony as well as her moral obligations.


“You’re right, of course. Neither of us truly needs a man for anything. I don’t and you’ve proved you don’t, either. But you know, having one around can be a real comfort at times.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Lesley said, worrying her lower lip.

“About Chase and all those women?”

She was astonished by the way Daisy always brought the conversation back to Chase. “No! About Tony calling me.”

“You’ve been miserable because that slimeball dumped you,” Daisy went on with barely a pause. “I find it ironic that when you meet up with a really decent guy, Tony comes sniffin’ around. Does this guy have radar or what?”

Lesley smiled. “I doubt it.”

“He couldn’t tolerate the thought of you with another man, you know.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! He didn’t want me, Daisy. You seem to be forgetting that.”

“Of course he wants you. For Tony it’s a matter of pride to keep two women in love with him. Don’t kid yourself. His ego eats it up.”

“He’s married.”

Daisy snorted. “When has that ever stopped a man?”

“I’m sure you’re wrong.” Here she was defending him again although she didn’t even know what he wanted from her.

“Listen, sweetie, you might have a college degree, but when it comes to men, you’re as naive as those kids you teach. Why do you think Tony didn’t want you transferring to another school? He wants to keep his eye on you. Trust me, the minute you show any interest in another man, he’ll be there like stink on—”

“I get the picture, Daisy.”

“Fine, but do you get the message?”

Lesley gnawed at her lip. “I think so.”

Daisy lowered the aluminum shield. She turned her head to look at Lesley. “You’re afraid, aren’t you? Afraid of what’ll happen if you call Tony back.” Lesley nodded.

“Are you still in love with that jerk?”

Once more she nodded.

“Oh, Lesley, you idiot. You don’t need him, not when you’ve got someone like Chase. He’s crazy about you, but he isn’t stupid. He’s not going to ram his head against a brick wall, and who could blame him? Not me.”

“I hardly know Chase.”

“What more do you need to know?”

“Daisy, he’s looking for a wife.”

“So what?” Her neighbor asked impatiently.

“I’m not in love with Chase.”

“Do you like him?”

“Of course I do. Otherwise I wouldn’t continue to see him.”

“What are you expecting, sweetie? This guy is manna from heaven. If you want to spend the rest of your life mooning over Tony, feel free. As far as I’m concerned, that guy’s going to do his best to make you miserable for as long as he can.”

“Chase is from Alaska,” Lesley argued.

“So? You don’t have any family here. There’s nothing holding you back other than Tony, is there? Is a married man worth all that grief, Lesley?”

“No.” How small her voice sounded, how uncertain.

“Do you want to lose Chase?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know? Sometimes I want to clobber you, Lesley. Where do you think you’d ever find another man as good as Chase? But if that doesn’t concern you, then far be it from me to point out the obvious.” She swung her legs from the chaise longue. “If you want my advice, I’d say go for it and marry the guy. I doubt that you’ll be sorry.”

Lesley wished she could be as sure of that, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t even sure how she was going to get through another night without calling Tony.