An Artificial Night

“Yeah?”


“You got us out, and that’s good, but now you need to get you out, too.” She pulled back and walked to May before I could say anything, intensity smoothing into an unnatural calm as she looked up at my Fetch. “I want to go home now, please.”

Andrew nodded. “Home.”

“Okay, kids. You got it.” May took their hands, glancing at me as she led them toward the front door. I watched until I was sure nothing would leap out of the bushes to attack them and then turned away. I didn’t want to see them go inside. My farewells were already said, and there was nothing I could do to take them back.

I looked up when I felt Connor’s hand on my shoulder. He was standing next to the car, expression schooled into something almost neutral. “Hey,” he said. “You okay?”

Of course I was okay. Isn’t everyone okay when they’ve got their death hanging out with them, constantly pointing out that their time is running short? “Peachy,” I said, looking away as I blinked back tears.

He frowned. “You can cry, you know. No one’s going to judge you for it.”

I eyed him. “You know that’s not a good idea.”

“I was just offering.”

“I know. I’m trying to stay mad. Whatever kills me,” he flinched, but I continued, “it’s going to have to fight for it. I refuse to go down easy.”

“You don’t have to die!” he protested. “I’ll protect you!”

I snorted. “Get real, Connor. You couldn’t protect your way out of a paper bag. You’re a great guy, but you’re not a fighter, and you never have been. You can’t save me. If you’re lucky, you’ll save yourself.”

“If I’m lucky? Being lucky means I get to live knowing that I let you die?” His tone was brisk and bitter. “No. I don’t think so.” Shoulders tense, he turned and walked toward the car.

“Connor—”

“No, don’t. It’s not worth it. You’re going to die, and I’m just the guy who gets to watch, because you won’t even let me try to stop it. Whatever my lady wishes.” He got into the driver’s seat, resting his head against the wheel. Raj looked out the window, frowning, and I shook my head. I couldn’t explain.

Damn it. Connor knew as well as I did that I was being practical, not unfair. There’s a hierarchy of power in Faerie, and Selkies barely even register. Almost all the magic they have is in their skins. Blind Michael would chew Connor up and throw him aside without slowing down, and I’d go to my grave with another death on my conscience. Was I hurting Connor by refusing to let him help? Yes. Was I doing it because I cared about him too much to make him a speed bump on the road to my own demise?

Yes. Whether he believed me or not, yes. Oak and ash, why can’t anything ever stay simple? I stayed where I was, closing my eyes, and didn’t even flinch when May put her hands on my shoulders, saying, “I know it’s hard, but it’ll be over soon.”

I couldn’t tell whether that was supposed to be a promise or a threat. I opened my eyes and pulled away, muttering, “Great,” as I moved toward the car. Spike bounded out of the yard and tagged along at my heels, chirping. “How’s Stacy?”

“Happy, but worried about Karen.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That Karen was with Lily, and I’d let her know as soon as there was news.”

I nodded. “And did she . . . ?”

“Realize I’m not you? No. Why should she? As long as the kids keep quiet, she’ll never know.” She sighed. “You’d never have gotten away with that if she wasn’t so stressed.”

“I know,” I said, stooping to pick Spike up and cradle it against my shoulder. “We need to get Tybalt’s kids to the Court of Cats. Connor’s gonna drive.”

“Works for me.” May shrugged and climbed into the back, nudging Raj. “Move it, kid.”

Raj gave her a sharp look and turned to me, demanding, “Are you taking us home now?”