Once outside, I lean back against the wall and try for some deep breathing exercises. I must calm myself down because otherwise, I am in very serious jeopardy of doing severe bodily harm to Matt.
The motherfucker told me it was a guy’s night out, which is why I assumed I wasn’t invited, and yet, he invited Kylie.
Motherfucker!
While I am brimming with anger, I’m also starting to notice a deep sadness start to well up inside of me because I knew something had been wrong for several days.
It went back to the day Marissa came to Matt’s apartment to get Gabe. He has not been the same since. I’ve sensed the change in him, but I couldn’t quite put a name to what was going on. But now I see it just as clear as day.
Matt is trying to sabotage our relationship.
Now, whether he’s doing it intentionally because he doesn’t want to be with me, or he’s doing it subconsciously because he is still ruled and commanded by his bitter feelings of betrayal and hurt, I just don’t know.
But I can tell you… I’m going to find out right now.
By the time I make it down to Matt’s office, the buzzing in my head has waned and the only outward sign of my distress is the slight shake to my hand as I knock on his door. He calls softly for me to enter and, when I walk in, I can see that he’s meeting with another attorney. It’s Rob Something-or-Other from litigation… one of his drinking buddies from last night from what I remember Matt saying.
They were both clearly laughing about something when I walked in, both of them looking assured and relaxed.
“I need to talk to you,” I manage to get out with a level voice while I look at Matt.
His smile stays in place even as his tone dismisses me. “Can this wait until later? Rob and I were just in the middle of something.”
I close my eyes briefly and take in two deep breaths.
I will not kill him. I will not kill him.
Opening my eyes back up, I say, “I’m sorry. It’s urgent.”
Then I turn to Rob and say, “I’m sorry, Rob. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t really important.”
Rob stands with ease and says, “No problem. I’ll catch you later, Matt.”
Matt just nods his head toward Rob briefly and watches him walk out the door. As soon as we’re alone, his gaze turns to me. I’m pleased to see he doesn’t have such a smug look on his face now.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with some hesitation. Apparently, whatever is on my face is giving him forewarning that this will not be a pleasant conversation.
His eyes are warm and shining like a tumbler of whiskey. His face is classically beautiful, and never fails to give me pause when I stare at it. But right now… right now, I’m seeing a whole lot of ugly when it comes to Matt.
I walk up to his desk, put my palms on the edge so they aren’t shaking as badly, and say, “I want to know why you lied to me last night.”
Matt swallows hard once, but his eyes give away nothing. I don’t see guilt, remorse, or even annoyance from my statement. “How exactly do you think I lied?”
No sense in beating around the bush. “You told me you were going out with the boys last night, and I get that. It’s good to have a boy’s night out, even if it did hurt my feelings a little that you wouldn’t rather be with me. Still… I let it go. Except I come in this morning to find out that your boy’s night wasn’t such a boy’s night after all. It appears you invited Kylie to go with you and from what I can tell, she doesn’t have a dick swinging between her legs.”
My last words are bordering on the shrill side as my anger threatens to overwhelm me again. I expect Matt to come raging at me with a fight. I can almost feel the tension vibrating off him.
Instead, he shows immense calm when he says, “I didn’t invite her. One of the other guys did.”