Conversely, she did blame him for leaving. He should have stayed until she woke up and given them both the chance to talk about it, not just disappeared like that. That had been the hardest part – waking up and not having him by her side. Worse still was the fact that in the four years since, he had made no attempt to contact her. Tom had been honest with her from the beginning, so she knew Jack had been in contact with him. When he had told her of the deal that they had struck – that Jack had told Tom not to give out his new number – she truly knew that Jack didn’t love her. If he had loved her, he would have wanted to talk to her. The knowledge had sat like a heavy weight on her chest for a long time afterwards.
Where he was now was anyone’s guess. They didn’t talk about him anymore. It had taken awhile, but she was pragmatic about it. It was better she didn’t know. She had her own life to live, and so did he. Whatever they had shared was over. Life goes on, and she had decided that she wasn’t going to let the past haunt the present.
She knew by now that nothing worth having came easy. Now that she was able to take control of her thoughts, she could see the path ahead. It wasn’t as lonely and dark as she had once thought.
The doorbell interrupted her thoughts. Making her way slowly out into the hall, she planted her crutches first, then using the power in her hips, she propelled each braced leg forward one at a time, carefully timing each movement.
Callum’s muffled voice carried through the door. “Ally, it’s me.”
“I’m coming!”
She was eager to share the news of her meeting with Linda. Arriving at the door, she balanced on her crutches and reached out to open it, grinning in anticipation.
The second she saw Callum’s face, however, the smile died on her lips. “What’s wrong?”
He stood in the open doorway, his red-rimmed eyes downcast as he fidgeted with the car keys in his hand. Finally, he shoved them into his pocket.
“I think you should sit down,” he said quietly, turning to close the door behind him. “Maggie’s on her way over. We should wait for her.”
Her heart raced. “Tell me.”
“Let’s just wait till she gets here, okay?”
“You’re scaring me,” she whimpered, her eyes locked on his. “What’s going on?”
“I didn’t want you hearing it from anyone else,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s Tom. I found him in his living room. He had a heart attack.”
“Is he okay?”
He shook his head slowly, his chin quivering. “He never even made it to the hospital.”
Suddenly everything seemed to stop. Callum’s face blurred. Blood pounded in her ears. She felt the floor shifting beneath her and then his arms were around her, holding her up.
“He’s gone, Ally.”
Her heart ached with a loss so familiar, she felt like it had never really left her.
From the moment he learned of his father’s death, Jack felt like the walls were closing in on him. He had to get home. Trying to fight it was like taking on the earth’s gravitational pull – exhausting and ultimately pointless. Emotions raged within him; grief, remorse, fear, and an overwhelming desire to make amends. His body was exhausted, but his brain would not let him rest. He stared at the road ahead and once again considered carefully what he was about to do.
He was scared to death, but he had to go home. He owed it to his father. He should have done it while he was alive, because technically now it was too late, but he had to go. If nothing else, he had to say goodbye.
He replayed the conversation with Callum in his head, followed by other conversations – countless ones with his father, echoing relentlessly. He shook his head to try and clear it, the muscles in his neck and shoulders twinging at the movement. He had been caught between a rock and a hard place. Not showing for the fight would have brought Ben’s wrath squarely down on his shoulders, so he had fought. But losing control like that in the ring was another matter. Ben would not take that lightly. He had screwed up – what else was new. But he had left town and Ben had no leads. He was grateful again for his obsessive need for privacy, but still glanced at the rear-view mirror again out of habit.
He was going home.
Home.
The word always brought a sense of dread with it. Despite Callum’s warning to stay away from Ally, he couldn’t help but think of her. Would she change her mind and want to talk to him? Would Callum? Would anyone, after what he had done?