“What do you mean?”
She shook her head, trying to unwrap it all over again and failing miserably. “It didn’t seem to matter that I didn’t blame him for the accident. He still said he felt responsible for what happened, that’s why he left. I kinda guessed that part already.”
“No surprises there, then.”
“I guess not,” she said, fidgeting with her grandmother’s ring. “I just get the feeling there’s more to it, that there’s something he’s not telling me.”
“I’m sure there’s a lot he’s not telling you.”
She winced.
“Look,” he said, leaning forward. “Here’s a recap of the situation – he left four years ago and he only came back for Tom’s funeral. Does he feel guilty about that? Sure, why not. But did he even try to call you or me or anyone apart from Tom in the past four years? Did he make any effort at all to come home during that time? No, because he didn’t give a shit. I know it hurts like hell, and I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. I don’t know about you, but I’m all out of second chances. I don’t think he deserves one, not after that.”
“I know how you feel about him. I know how much it hurt when he –“
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you.”
“No, it’s not. It’s not just about me. I wasn’t the only one he left behind.”
“Yeah, well, you were the only one he left behind in the ICU.”
She felt as if she’d been kicked in the chest.
He ran a hand down his face, sighing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
“It’s okay,” she murmured, trying hard to recover. “You’re right.”
And he was, but that was only part of the problem. She could feel herself losing ground, the past and present overlapping, getting mixed up in her head. Just a week ago, things had seemed so simple.
Callum was staring at her, waiting. Suddenly she felt guilty. He didn’t need this. She sat up straight, taking a deep breath and conjuring up a fleeting smile that she hoped would be convincing.
“It doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s all water under the bridge. What’s done is done.”
Internally, she cringed at the forced indifference in her voice. He wouldn’t be fooled. She would have to make more of an effort. She opted for a diversionary tactic, giving herself time to get herself together.
“I need coffee. You want one?” she asked.
She didn’t wait for a response, turning abruptly to head for the kitchen.
Four Years Earlier
The impact was mind-blowing, sending a shuddering jolt throughout his entire body that turned his limbs to jelly. Time stopped as they skidded across the road, the buzzing in his ears blocking everything else out. Then they were upside down. He squinted out through the windshield, his brain struggling to process what was happening. He felt as if he was moving simultaneously in slow-motion and fast-forward and it crossed his mind that this might be how he died. A strange calmness washed over him. His fate was completely out of his hands.
The car suddenly bounced as it left the road, ripping through a fence, the trees ahead rapidly filling the windshield as he mentally braced himself for the impact. The crazy rollercoaster ride ended as abruptly as it had begun, jolting him again, throwing a spear of pain through his shoulder and neck that momentarily left him breathless.
And then there was silence. Buzzing, humming, vibrating silence.
He hung by his seatbelt, upside down, for several moments as his mind and body tried to comprehend and compensate.
“Callum?”
He didn’t even sound like himself, his voice cracked and strained. He tried to ignore the fact as he reached behind him for Ally. His sense of direction was wonky and he watched his hand waver in mid-air, mesmerised for a moment, before terror took over.
“Callum? Ally!”
The silence buzzed in his ears as he reached for Callum, the seat belt restricting his movements. Gravity toyed with him. He took a moment to draw a deep breath and assess the situation, forcing the panic down into his gut. His hand groped blindly at his waist, finding the seat belt release and popping it open. He collapsed heavily onto the inside roof of the car, a low groan escaping as a stabbing pain shot through his shoulder. He tried to breathe through the heavy air, something sharp digging into his knee.
“Callum?”
He was unconscious, hanging limply in his seat. Reaching over with trembling fingers to feel the pulse in Callum’s neck, he almost cried with relief.
“Thank God.” His heart raced wildly. “Come on, wake up… ”