A Town Called Valentine

chapter Twenty-four



Nate was as startled as if she’d slapped him. They’d been confiding their secrets; he’d never felt so close to a woman, wanted so much just to be with her and love her and make her happy for the rest of their lives. But she didn’t want the same. He shouldn’t be so surprised. She’d been up-front with her intentions—just as he had, he thought wryly. But he thought things had changed between them, deepened. They had—he couldn’t mistake that. But whereas he accepted it, anticipated a future they could share, she was putting on the brakes. She’d suffered a betrayal at the lowest moment in her life, when the promise of a new little baby had died. And he didn’t know what to do, what to say, to prove himself. Or if she was even ready to hear it.

“I hope you’re not implying that every man is as stupid as your ex-husband,” he finally said. “Most of us are glad to adopt—I owe my life to such a man.”

“I know that.”

She wouldn’t meet his eyes; he could feel her retreating bit by bit, as if she feared she’d said too much and wished she hadn’t. He didn’t want her to regret confiding in him, didn’t want to make everything worse by pleading with her to look at him for the man he was, not in the shadow of her ex-husband.

But he knew she was afraid of being hurt again, by him and her new father and his family. And she would leave him, leave Valentine, rather than risk such betrayal again.

“I’m sorry to be so blunt,” Emily whispered at last. She studied his face with earnest worry. “Maybe I never should have said—”

“No.” He took her shoulders in his hands. “I want to know everything about you. Believe me, I’m grateful for your trust.” He wanted to tell her he loved her, that he always would, that he’d never do anything to harm her—but she didn’t want to hear it, and he felt bewildered and battered trying to think of a way to change her mind.

“You probably want to go now,” she said, a touch of forlorn trembling in her voice.

“No, I don’t. I want to be here with you. We don’t have to say anything more. It will be enough for me.”

She settled against him with a sigh, tucking her head beneath his chin, curling her knees up until they rested across his thighs.

He was lying to himself, he thought, squeezing his eyes shut. He wanted more. He wanted everything with Emily. If he told her how he felt, she’d just think he was trying to fix everything like usual. He’d spent his life making things happen, but he couldn’t force her to love him.

Joe’s wife, Faith, called Emily the next morning and invited her to dinner that night. Emily thought the woman sounded a bit too cheerful but was glad Faith was trying. For a moment, Emily almost refused, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of them all staring at each other around a table. There would be expectations none of them—including herself—might be able to meet.

But then she thought of Nate, and his concern, and the tenderness in his eyes he no longer hid from her. He’d want to see her tonight, and she wasn’t certain that was a good idea for either of them. They’d gotten too close, and she was still leaving. After everything she’d revealed to him, she was surprised he hadn’t fled from her apartment and her past and all the ways he thought he could fix her. It would be just like him to try hard to make everything better. She was grateful he hadn’t.

So she accepted Faith’s offer, hoping to make Joe happy, for he’d been just as wounded as Emily had by Delilah’s lies.

Their ranch home was larger than the Thalbergs’, but there the similarities ended. Everywhere were touches of the bohemian lifestyle Nate had hinted at, from tarot cards on a table to crystals hung in every window. Faith must be a patron at the Mystic Connection, the new age store in town. The paintings on the walls were medieval or mystical or brimming with abundant nature: flowers, waterfalls, or mysterious forests. Emily saw a cluttered office as she followed Joe and Faith down a hall into the living room, books scattered around a computer, and she remembered Nate’s mentioning that Joe liked to write.

Faith wore a gauzy multicolored, loose gown, her frizzy silver-streaked black hair pulled back from her freshly washed face. Emily found herself charmed by the woman’s forthright manner. As she led Emily into the living room, she gestured to her children with pride, and they all stood up, as if Emily were a business client. She felt hot with embarrassment and nerves.

Three young men—Emily’s brothers—stood around their sister, almost as if she needed protection.

“Emily,” Joe said, “these are our children, Will, Chris, Daniel, and Stephanie.”

Stephanie was a pretty girl, with her father’s crystal blue eyes and bright blond hair that she wore in a ponytail. Suspicion and wariness twisted her expressive face, and Emily’s hopes began to sink. Joe had said he’d told his children about her, but he’d never explained how badly Stephanie must have taken it. Emily had made a terrible mistake coming so soon, but it was too late to change it. Stephanie looked as pale as winter frost.

Emily’s tension had coalesced into a little ball of pain in her stomach, and she was certain she wouldn’t be able to eat anything. Her very existence had caused this poor girl grief. She was tempted to leave but knew that would make it seem as if she had been chased away.

Thankfully, the three young men eyed her curiously but without dismay. Will was taller and broader than his dad, with sandy blond hair, frank, hazel eyes, and a cleft in his chin centered in a square jaw. Chris’s hair was lighter, as were his pale blue eyes. He was built more like his dad, leaner and compact, though with the same chin as his brother. Daniel, still in college, had inherited his mother’s darker hair and gray eyes. He sported several tattoos on his arms and wore a silver stud beneath his lower lip. But his smile was curious and friendly as he nodded a greeting.

All three men could have been just as suspicious as Stephanie, upset that their lives had been disrupted by an old secret, but one by one they shook her hand and gave her a polite, even curious, smile, which she returned though her lips trembled. These were her brothers. She didn’t know what to think, but she wanted to be happier rather than so nervous and uncertain.

Will and Chris must have realized her mood, because they shared a look before Will said, “So you’re my big sister.”

Emily gave him a faint smile.

“How sad for you, Will, that you’ve lost all your ‘oldest child’ privileges,” Chris said dryly.

Emily actually chuckled, and she almost covered her mouth with surprise.

“What privileges?” Will demanded indignantly. “I had to babysit you.”

Will’s good-natured disgruntled look encompassed both his brothers and sister. Stephanie’s lips twitched as if she fought a smile. Then she looked at Emily, and her eyes went cool again. Emily sighed. She wished she could join in the bantering, but words stuck in her throat, and her chest felt tight with unshed tears. Staring at their faces as they teased each other, she wondered what it would have been like if she’d known them as children. She was a sister, but a stranger. It seemed so insurmountable to ever be more.

They were her family now, but it felt all wrong. She’d longed for this her whole life, but how could only occasional visits back to Valentine mold them into the close family she’d dreamed of? Was she making a mistake in leaving?

“Kids,” Faith said, obviously assessing Stephanie’s mood—and perhaps Emily’s—“come finish helping me in the kitchen so your dad and Emily can talk.”

Stephanie glared at Emily over her shoulder as she followed her brothers out. She caught her dad’s frown and looked guilty, hunching her shoulders.

When they were alone, Joe said, “I’m so sorry about Stephanie’s behavior.”

Her eyes went wide. “No, oh please, this isn’t her fault.”

“I guess I should have told you she was having a hard time with my past,” he said solemnly. “But . . . I didn’t want you to misunderstand. This really isn’t about you but about me. Guess I’m not her perfect father, you know? She always thought of herself as Daddy’s little girl.”

Emily didn’t know what to say as she stood there awkwardly in the middle of their living room.

“I feel badly that you have to go through this. I wish—well, I could wish for a lot of things, but the past is the past, and we can only live for the future.”

Emily couldn’t help wondering what he wished for—that he’d never slept with her mother? That she’d never been born? Or should she give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he meant he wished he’d known about her all along?

“I don’t know how to say this, so bear with me.” Joe put both his hands on her shoulders. “I’ve thought a lot about the renovations you’ve been doing, how hard you’re working on your future.” He smiled at her, but there was uncertainty in his eyes. “I haven’t been able to help you grow up, and it really makes me sad. Could I—would you let me help you now? I know you have plans to go to college, and I’ve helped my sons with their tuition. Would you let me do the same for you?”

Emily was surprised and confused, but she managed a smile. “Joe, that is such a nice offer, but I can’t accept.”

“Emily—”

“No, please, I understand that you just want to help, but it would make me feel like I searched for you only for money, instead of the truth.”

“I wouldn’t think that.”

“Maybe not, but I would. There’s no guilt here, nothing to make up for. None of this was our fault. I thank you so much for the offer, but I just can’t accept.”

He studied her face for a moment before nodding, and Emily let out her breath.

“You’ve gotten your way right now, young lady,” Joe said with mock sternness. “But we might revisit this subject in the future.”

She laughed, feeling some of her discomfort ease. “We’ll see.”

To her surprise, he smiled at her with a tenderness that made her heart ache. He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I’ve been wanting to do that,” he whispered. “My daughter.”

Feeling moved and choked up, she watched as he laughed at himself and turned away to wipe his eyes.

These people were strangers, but they were family, too, people she’d be connected to for the rest of her life. She knew she was lucky, that another family might keep her on the outside, an unwelcome surprise. But Joe obviously cared about her. It was a good start.

The doorbell rang, and Joe went to get it, returning with Nate. Emily couldn’t even be surprised.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, handing over a bottle of wine to Faith, who came out of the kitchen to greet him, wearing an affectionate smile.

The four younger Sweets followed their mom, and it was obvious by their grins that they all knew Nate well. Emily felt better already—Nate to the rescue, she thought, biting her lip against a smile. His instincts were good, and she was grateful.

Nate kissed Faith’s cheek, shook hands with all three young men, hugged Stephanie, then Emily. He stood at her side like they belonged together.

Emily arched a brow at Joe, who spread his hands wide, as if saying Nate’s arrival wasn’t his suggestion. Perhaps Faith was just as interested in matchmaking as she was in meeting Emily. Faith and Grandma Thalberg must know each other.

Emily knew that everyone saw them as a couple, and the hurt she expected to feel about that didn’t happen. Her longing for a normal family had caused her so much pain, and this new family could do the same. But how could she live her life afraid?

When Stephanie begrudgingly passed her a basket of rolls at dinner, Emily met her eyes and saw that wariness, that fearfulness of being hurt, just like she’d been feeling. But just because Emily was afraid didn’t mean she could pretend these people weren’t important to her.

“Wait until you see what Emily’s done with her building,” Joe told his family, smiling at her.

She glanced at Stephanie to find her continuing to eat, but at least she wasn’t turning away because Emily was the center of attention. “I had a lot of help,” Emily insisted, “including the Internet.”

“And Nate,” Will said, cutting a slice of pork chop and popping it into his mouth.

Nate only grinned as he dug into his mashed potatoes.

Will and Nate were friends, and men did their best to annoy each other, she knew. In a friendly manner, of course.

She smiled as she considered Will. “Yes, Nate helped. And I’m grateful. I’m sure he’ll be relieved when I’m out of his hair.” That caused another scary jolt of unease as she thought of leaving Valentine—leaving him.

Nate gave her an unreadable glance as he said, “You know that’s not true. I’ve enjoyed every minute.”

Stephanie gave a little snort, then covered her mouth with her napkin. More than one person chuckled, including Emily.

Faith eyed her curiously, and Joe just smiled and shook his head, as if Emily amused him.

“Regardless of who helped,” Joe said, “I know you’ve done the majority of the work yourself. Drywall, wooden trim, and all the plastering and painting. It’s as if you were readying it for yourself. You come from a long line of businesswomen, after all.”

Emily stared at him in surprise, then spoke too quickly, “No, I don’t know anything about business. Have you been talking to Monica?”

“Monica?” Nate echoed, looking way too curious.

Emily found them all staring at her with interest, especially Nate. She wanted to make up something, but he was looking at her with such sweet intent, so concerned for her. He’d shared everything about himself with her. She found herself blurting, “Monica thinks I should open a bakery.”

Nate’s eyes went wide with surprise. She couldn’t look away.

Joe and Faith spoke over each other. “Great idea!” “We could use a bakery in Valentine.”

“It’s . . . silly,” Emily said at last, her appetite gone as she stared down at her half-eaten pork. Even she had to question why she was so reluctant to consider the idea, when her subconscious couldn’t seem to let it go. “My life is in San Francisco. I’d love it if you’d all come to visit me soon.”

“But what are you going to do there?” Stephanie asked.

Emily lifted her chin and didn’t look at Nate, reciting the words she’d kept telling herself for the last few months. “I’m going back to college with the money I’ll make from selling my building. I need to find the career that’s right for me. You’re going to college, right?” she asked, hoping for some kind of connection with her new little sister.

But Stephanie looked at her as if Emily were an elderly woman with no business joining the young people. Emily sighed.

Nate drove her home and remained silent for the ten minutes it took to drive off the Sweetheart Ranch and back into town. Emily kept twisting her fingers together, wondering what he was thinking. He didn’t seem angry or sad or . . . anything. Whereas she was a jumble of emotions, and suddenly so tired of thinking.

He followed her upstairs to her apartment. When she went to get him a beer, he caught her arm.

“Emily, talk to me.”

For a moment she stared at his hand, then up into his face. His concern eased something inside her, and she knew he only wanted what was best for her.

Softly, he asked, “Are you going to run away from Valentine Valley, just like your mother did?”

She caught her breath, wanting to deny it, but suddenly knowing she couldn’t.

“Please tell me you’re not running away from me,” he continued hoarsely. “I know from the beginning we talked about ending things, but I’ve changed my mind.”

Slowly she said, “I swear, this isn’t just about you, Nate. It seems I’ve spent my whole life trying not to be my mother. Maybe—maybe I’ve been trying to prove it, first with my marriage, and now—now with this need to start my life over. I think—I think I’m more like her than I imagined, taking too many risks.”

“Is that so bad?” Nate asked earnestly. “She made mistakes, some bad ones, but you won’t do the same.”

“I chose Greg, didn’t I?” she shot back.

“You chose him as a young girl in college. You’re not that girl anymore. You take smart risks now, coming here to restart your life, when you could have played it safe in San Francisco.”

“My mom struck out on her own, leaving everything behind,” Emily whispered. “She never thought anything through, and I was trying to be so careful to be different from her. She jumped from relationship to relationship, taking such terrible chances. I can’t accuse myself of that,” she said wryly, “not with two men in a decade.”

“See, you’ve learned from her mistakes.”

“Yet maybe I missed the point. I didn’t want to take chances. I wanted movies, where you wanted whitewater rafting. I resisted anything scary you tried to tempt me with.” I resisted falling in love with you, she thought, knowing it was too late. “I was trying to be so independent, thinking that if I stood on my own, I couldn’t get hurt again. You were the perfect partner in crime for me, asking nothing of me, promising that both of us would remain unscathed, the same as always.”

He took her face between his hands. “I’m asking now, Em. Stay. Give us a chance to see what we have. Give Valentine a chance.”

Valentine Valley was the town of her dreams, where families were interconnected, where everyone knew each other, where love was renewed—or begun. Had the romantic spell of Valentine really woven itself about her?

Perhaps the biggest risk she would ever take was staying right here, getting to know her new family, and trying to be her own woman—her own boss, she thought, thinking with new excitement about the bakery. How could she call herself an independent woman if she left town because she was afraid of being hurt again? Could she start her own business with the talents she’d been given, or the ones she’d inherited?

“If you leave here,” Nate said, “you’ll just be another lonely person in a big city.”

She thought of Melissa and felt again the woman’s pain.

“People know you here—I know you,” he continued quietly. “You could have a life here.”

She took a deep breath. “With you?”

Nate was the biggest risk of all, standing there patiently waiting for her to make the move. There was a new openness to him, as if he was finally ready to take chances, if she would let him. He had discovered long ago what he was meant to do with his life. He had a quiet confidence, a belief in himself and his town, and mostly in his family.

Did he want her to be part of his family?

He thought he had everything together—but he needed her, she knew. She saw things about him he’d never known about himself. And he was part of Valentine Valley, too. She’d been fighting being a part of it from the beginning.

“I love you, Emily,” he whispered, cupping her face, kissing her gently. “I’ll never hurt you.”

She stared up into his eyes, and everything fell into place, as if her journey here had taught her, brought her to this moment. “I love you, too.”

And then she was crying and smiling and kissing him. He let out a whoop and twirled her around.

“Okay, okay,” she said, when at last she was safely on the ground. “I’ll stay and give this place a try.”

“So you’ll open this mysterious bakery you’ve never mentioned to me?”

“I guess you’ll have to get over the loss of Leather and Lace.”

“But what will you bring on our honeymoon?”

She stared up into his beloved face, no longer the lonely, sad woman she’d been on her first rainy night in Valentine. She’d found a new strength inside her, and she would use it to love Nate as he deserved.

“On the honeymoon? Why, I don’t plan to wear anything at all.”

They shared a grin.