chapter Six
The sun burned low and bright in the sky, casting pale light onto the bare trees just beginning to bud with leaves. Street vendors selling flowers, oranges, penny pies, tarts, and hot green peas shouted out the quality and price of their wares. The calls of a fruit seller drew Lydia to a cart to purchase two apples.
“We’ll also have an iced lemonade at the gardens,” she promised Jane as they continued down New Road for their Tuesday afternoon outing.
“D’you think the hippopotamus will be out?” Jane asked. “And the orangutans?”
“We’ll have to see. I hear they also have a new animal from Africa, though I can’t recall what it is.”
She placed her hand on Jane’s shoulder to steer the girl away from a sleek black carriage that came to a halt near them. An old fear curled through her, and she quickened her pace without looking back.
“Miss Kellaway.” The deep voice stopped Lydia in her tracks. She turned to look at the man who descended from the carriage.
Lydia’s hand tightened on Jane’s shoulder. “Lord Northwood.”
He approached, the sun shining on his dark hair like a halo, his black coat stretching across his broad shoulders and chest. Lydia almost felt the awe radiating from her sister as the viscount neared.
“Good morning to you both.” He smiled at Jane. “You must be Miss Jane.”
“Yes, sir.”
“This is Lord Northwood,” Lydia told her sister, though she knew she couldn’t even begin to explain how she’d made his acquaintance. She glanced at him.
He was looking at her. With purpose. Her heart thumped.
What do you see when you look at me, Lord Northwood?
“What brings you here, my lord?” she asked, her voice sharper than she intended.
“I thought I might convince you to accept transport to whatever destination you intend.” He tilted his head toward his carriage.
“Actually, we’re rather enjoying the walk, and—” Lydia paused when Jane tugged on her hand.
She glanced at the girl, resignation sweeping through her when she saw the pleading look in Jane’s light green eyes. Neither of them had ever had the opportunity to ride in such a luxurious carriage.
“We’re going to the zoological gardens,” Lydia said.
“Excellent. If you don’t mind my companionship, I’d be delighted to accompany you. Can’t remember the last time I visited the zoological gardens. I suppose Drury Lane doesn’t qualify.”
Jane giggled. “Can we, Lyddie? Please?”
“Only if his lordship doesn’t consider it an inconvenience.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if it was.” Lord Northwood opened the door and handed them both up into the velvet interior before issuing instructions to the driver and climbing in after them. The instant he sat opposite them, the space in the carriage seemed to shrink, making Lydia far more aware of his presence than she wished to be.
“You’ve an interest in animals, Miss Jane?” he asked.
“Yes, sir. More insects than animals, though.”
“Insects?”
Jane nodded. “Our father used to take me to exhibitions of the Royal Entomological Society. The first was about butterflies; then we went to one on spiders and another on insects from North America. We even went to an exhibition of tamed fleas. You wouldn’t imagine fleas could be tamed, but they can, you know.”
Northwood regarded her thoughtfully. “You might be interested in a section of a Society of Arts exhibition I’m organizing. We plan to have an extensive display of flora and fauna, including some new species of exotic insects.”
“Can we go, Lydia?” Jane asked.
“Of course. Perhaps you can write a report on the new discoveries.”
Jane rolled her eyes at Lord Northwood, who grinned. “Never lets up, does she?” he asked.
“Hardly. She’s been my tutor since I was little.” Jane’s expression closed off a bit. “But our grandmother says I need a broader education, so I’m to be sent away.”
Lydia felt Northwood’s gaze settle on her, as tangible as the brush of his fingers. She shifted, pressing a hand to her abdomen as a twinge of pain went through her.
“Sent away,” Northwood repeated. It wasn’t a question, but Jane nodded in response.
“She thinks I need more instruction in… What was the word she used, Lyddie?”
“Propriety.”
Northwood smiled at the girl. “Propriety is overrated, if you ask me.”
“Our grandmother thinks I need more of it.”
“And you can’t provide that?” Northwood asked Lydia.
“Jane is of an age when it’s necessary that she learn more about etiquette and social graces. So our grandmother is sending her to a school in Paris where she can learn French and take proper music and dancing lessons.”
Northwood continued to look at Lydia as if he knew quite well that her grandmother’s dictate stung like nettles beneath her skin. As if he knew it was the source of her despair the night she had wanted to settle her debt. The night she had wanted to go nowhere else but to him.
“London has no shortage of music and dancing teachers,” he said. “In fact, my brother Sebastian teaches the piano. I’d be pleased to introduce you to him next week, should you wish your sister to start lessons straightaway.”
Lydia felt Jane tug on her arm, felt the plea radiating from her sister’s eyes.
“Well, I… thank you, my lord.” Lydia chanced a look at Northwood. “Most generous. I will discuss it further with our grandmother.”
Northwood and Jane exchanged glances. He winked, and she grinned in response.
A tendril of unease curled through Lydia’s heart at the evident rapport between her sister and Northwood. She pushed it aside with ruthless determination. Nothing would ever come of her association with Lord Northwood, except perhaps piano lessons for Jane, so there was no need for further anxiety.
They rode around the outer circle of Regent’s Park, the coach coming to a halt at the Carriage Drive entrance. Northwood descended to assist Lydia and Jane, then instructed the driver to see to the admission fees.
They walked past the entrance lodge to the terrace walk that led into the lush landscape of the gardens and the new glass-roofed aviary. Flowers and trees bordered the walkway, which branched off into gravel paths leading to different animal enclosures and houses.
Jane hurried ahead, her steps light.
“She’s a lovely girl,” Northwood said as he and Lydia followed Jane toward the meadows where deer, pelicans, alpacas, and several gazelles grazed. Movable trellis houses dotted the grass, birds flitting around inside.
“Yes, she is. She has a quick mind and a good heart.”
“Like her sister.”
Lydia couldn’t prevent a smile. How long had it been since someone complimented her, no matter the motive? “You’re a flatterer, my lord.”
“I never say anything I don’t mean.”
Lydia paused, bringing him to a halt beside her. As much as she enjoyed his company, the oddness of the situation—the sheer improbability of running into him and the even greater unlikelihood that he would actually want to visit the zoological gardens—struck her hard.
She leveled her gaze on him. “Why are you really here, my lord?”
“My sister Talia—you, ah, encountered her the other night—does quite a bit of work with the ragged schools.”
Lydia blinked at the non sequitur. “Oh. That’s good of her.”
“Yes. Are you familiar with the ragged schools?”
“I’ve heard of them, but I don’t know their intent.”
“The schools attempt to reclaim children from the streets,” Northwood explained. “Their students come from impoverished families whose fathers are either in prison or committing crimes that will eventually land them there. It’s a cause that’s very dear to Talia.”
“It sounds like a worthy cause, indeed.”
“It is. Talia and several of her friends have arranged a charity event on Saturday next. It’s a children’s festival with games and such, all to benefit the schools. I’d be obliged if you would attend.”
Anxiety began to simmer inside Lydia. “Oh, I don’t know if—”
“I’m certain your sister would enjoy it,” Northwood said. “I believe there’s also kite flying, dancing, wagon rides. Talia has spent several months helping organize it. She’s even talked Sebastian into playing the piano.” Before she could protest, he added, “I’ll have my carriage pick you up at eleven. I’ll return you home whenever you like. Really, you might even enjoy it yourself.”
Lydia chewed on her lip for a moment. She glanced at her sister, who was walking ahead of them toward the animals’ enclosures, then nodded. “I would enjoy it, my lord, and I know Jane would too. We don’t often attend such events.”
She realized the impact of her hasty comment when Northwood frowned.
“Why not?” he asked.
“I just don’t… I haven’t got a great deal of time for such things.” Never did. Pain sliced through her chest as she recalled her own dark childhood, where frivolities like festivals and kite flying didn’t exist.
She knew Jane’s childhood had been nothing like hers—she’d seen to that—but she also hadn’t actively sought many amusements for her sister.
“Because you’re too busy with your equations?” Northwood asked.
The edge to his voice cut her a little, and she looked away. “I’m not made of numbers, Lord Northwood.”
“Then why do you foster such notions?”
“What does that mean?”
“You want people to believe you’re made of nothing more than mathematical brilliance.”
“I do not—”
“Don’t you? Less than a fortnight ago, you attempted to tell me what I believe about you.”
“Quite frankly, that is what everyone believes about me.”
“I don’t.”
Startled, she looked up at him. “You don’t?”
“No. It isn’t true. Your destiny is not one of cold intellect. And I do not for an instant believe you are happy with only textbooks and numbers as your companions.”
Lydia swallowed. He was gazing at her with more than curiosity, more than puzzlement. He looked as if he knew that beneath her thick shield lay something vulnerable and painfully tender. Something he was more than capable of protecting.
“Why would you believe such a thing?” Her voice shook.
He stepped closer. So close that the cool air began to heat around them, so close that she felt the intent radiating from his body. His voice dropped lower, sliding like a caress against her skin.
“If you were content with such a life, you would not have kissed me, touched me, as if you longed for more,” he murmured.
Her face burned. “I exhibited an appalling lack of judgment.”
“You exhibited what you felt. What you want.”
“I’ve told you what I want. And that was not it.”
You are not it.
She couldn’t bring herself to say the words, knowing they would be a lie to the tenth power. Her shoulders tensed as she stepped away from him.
“You may think what you wish of me, my lord. I only ask that you remember one thing. I said it would be for the best if you believed what I told you, if you left me to a destiny of intellectual solitude. Anything else would most certainly be for the worse.”
She turned away from him. He grasped her arm, his fingers tightening with a possession that caused her heart to jolt.
“Nothing between us will ever be for the worse, Miss Kellaway.” He spoke with absolute certainty. “Nothing.”
“Shorten your statement, my lord, and you’ll have the truth.” She pulled her arm from his grip. “Nothing between us will ever be.”
“You’re wrong.”
Her throat tightened. How she wished she could be wrong. How she wished she could unlock the closed part of herself and let him in. The more time she spent in his presence, the more she imagined how glorious it would be to discover the potential of what they could be together.
Even if it were for only one night.
Shaken by the thought, Lydia turned away. Without looking at the viscount, she went toward her sister. “Jane!”
Jane waved her hand to urge Lydia closer. Lydia quickened her pace, hoping against hope that Northwood would leave.
“Look!” Jane gestured at the screened terrace containing six dens for housing lions, tigers, cheetahs, and a jaguar. “Lord Northwood, did you know the lions are from a place called Nubia? It’s in Africa. And, look, the leopards. I think they’re from India. Isn’t that right, Lydia? One of them is, anyway. Lord Northwood, did you know the ancient Greeks believed giraffes were a mix between a leopard and a camel?”
He stopped beside Lydia. “I did not know that. I’ve ridden a camel, though.”
“Really? Where?”
“When I was a boy, my father took our family on a trip to Egypt. Camels are as common as carriages there.”
“What was riding it like?”
“Like being on a boat about to capsize. It was decidedly one of the oddest things I’ve ever done.”
Jane grinned and turned her attention back to the lions’ den. Lydia and Northwood stopped to watch as the huge felines plodded around their enclosures, pawing at the ground and stretching their sleek muscles.
“Why Paris?” Northwood asked.
Lydia sighed. “You are relentless.”
“All the more reason for you to answer me.”
“This isn’t your concern, my lord.”
“I know. But I am curious. Why Paris?”
“Because we can’t afford to send her to one of the London schools, and Lady Montague has offered Jane a scholarship.”
“And why does your grandmother feel you are not suited to such instruction?”
Lydia gazed at her sister. Jane trailed a stick across the ground as she began walking toward the bear pits. Her long hair glimmered in the sunlight, falling across her shoulders like a swath of silk.
Northwood thought he knew her destiny, did he? He thought he knew what she wanted, what she needed, what kind of life she ought to lead? Perhaps he’d change his perceptions if he knew of her past.
“Because I never received it myself,” she said.
“Not even from your mother?”
Although the question was not unexpected, it caused a sharp pang to spear through Lydia. She stopped, trying to ease her hitched breath.
“Miss Kellaway?” Northwood cupped a hand beneath her elbow. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, glancing in Jane’s direction to ensure the girl was still within sight. “My mother wasn’t capable of taking care of herself, let alone providing etiquette instruction.”
“What happened to her?”
Lydia stilled. His hand remained on her arm, the warmth of his palm burning clear through his glove and her sleeve. He stood close, too close, his gaze on her face as if he sought to solve a complex puzzle. His presence was big, strong, unmoving.
Lydia experienced the sudden and unwelcome thought that a man of his formidable nature could easily withstand whatever truth she flung at him. He could bear without effort whatever confessions she sought to unload from her heart.
“She had… trouble.” Lydia lifted a shaking hand to touch her temple. “Here. She developed a disease of the brain. The strangest veering between melancholia and mania. She started having episodes of rage, of profound darkness. Until I was about five years of age, she’d always seemed fine. But then… later my father told me she’d lost several children through miscarriages and a stillbirth. That… that broke something within her.
“She began locking herself in her bedroom, refusing to come out. She’d become furious with me over the smallest things, like a grass stain on my dress. She’d never done that before. She’d leave the house for days, and no one would know where she was. My grandmother came to live with us to help take care of her. That helped for a time, but then it became too horrific even for her. She convinced my father to send my mother to a sanitarium for proper medical attention.”
His grip tightened on her elbow. “Did it work?”
“At first it seemed to.” Lydia kept her gaze on Jane, who had paused outside the bear pit to study a massive brown bear. “She’d come home for a time; then it would get worse again. So my grandmother would arrange for another institution, another doctor. Another course of treatment. They traveled constantly throughout the Continent. Finally when rumors began to mount, my grandmother requested permission to remove her from London permanently. They went to a place in France she’d heard of through her church. Outside of Lyons. My mother was there for almost three years.”
“Did it help?”
“She seemed content there for a time. My grandmother stayed with her. My father visited when he was able. That was where my mother died.”
An odd emptiness widened within Lydia as she said the words, even as she felt Northwood’s body vibrate with shock.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. She was a prisoner of her own mind for so long that it almost seemed as if she were finally free. But of course it nearly destroyed my grandmother. To lose a child, a daughter, even one as ill as my mother had been…”
She eased her arm from his hold, sensing his mind working, furrowing through all she’d told him. She turned away and began walking toward Jane.
“Lydia.”
She stopped. The sound of her name in his baritone voice thudded right up against the walls of her heart.
“Where were you when your mother was in France?” Northwood asked.
She didn’t look at him. “Not with her.”
Alexander Hall. Viscount Northwood.
Lydia was indeed moving up in society. The question was whether she was merely the man’s whore or if she aspired to be something more.
Did it matter?
Joseph watched as the girl Jane climbed back into the viscount’s carriage, Lydia close behind her.
Yes, it did matter. Now that Sir Henry was dead, perhaps Lydia was no longer concerned with the consequences of her actions, the possible damage to her character.
In which case, his plan might not work.
If, on the other hand, Lydia was pursuing Lord Northwood for more than money… well, that would be of benefit to all involved.
Especially himself.
A Study In Seduction
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