A Passion for Pleasure

chapter Twenty-One




Clara shaded her eyes from the glare of the sun as she watched a carriage make its way up the drive. Sebastian had arranged for transportation to the train station at four o’clock, but it was too early for the vehicle to arrive. Apprehension flared in her chest at the realization that someone was invading their temporary sanctuary. She let the curtain fall back across the window and hurried from the room.

“Mrs. Danvers, have you seen Mr. Hall anywhere?” Clara stopped the housekeeper en route to the kitchen.

“I believe he’s still out with Master Andrew, Mrs. Hall.”

Clara headed toward the drawing room. Sebastian’s voice resonated from the doors opening to the garden as he and Andrew entered. Their clothes were streaked with dirt, their hair messy from the wind. The area around Clara’s heart tightened at the sight of them, at the reminder that her husband and son had developed a strong rapport in less than two days.

“If you apply an extra coat of linseed oil, the seams are even stronger,” Sebastian told Andrew in the moment before they looked up and saw her standing there.

Andrew stopped. Sebastian frowned.

“Clara?”

She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and gestured to the foyer. “There’s…someone’s arrived. I don’t know who it is.”

Sebastian’s frown deepened. He said something to Andrew that Clara didn’t hear, and went to the foyer. He wrenched open the door and descended the steps.

Clara followed, putting out a hand to keep Andrew behind her as the boy approached her side. The horses stamped and shuffled as the groom vaulted from the bench to open the door.

Shock froze Clara’s blood to ice as her father stepped down from the carriage, followed by the stern, unyielding figure of the Earl of Rushton. Instinctively, Clara stepped backward, her hand closing around Andrew’s shoulder. Panic clawed at her.

“Sebastian.” Rushton strode forward, his sharp gaze flickering from Clara to his son. “We’ve come to reclaim the boy.”

A black pit seemed to open beneath Clara’s feet. She felt herself falling, falling, spiraling into a darkness that had no beginning or end.

Tension and anger stiffened Sebastian’s shoulders. He slanted a glare at Fairfax. “I will not allow Andrew to be removed from his mother or placed in an institution.”

“You have no say in the matter,” Fairfax snapped, his lean figure rigid with determination. “You have committed a hanging offense by abducting that boy from my custody, and rest assured I will see you charged unless you return him to me.”

Clara felt Andrew start to shake. Her throat closed over. She hugged him to her side as the panic clawed harder.

Run. The command beat into her blood again, but this time she had nowhere to go. This time there was no escape.

“Lord Rushton, please.” She tightened her grip on Andrew and focused on the earl, willing him to find some degree of sympathy for their plight. “I want only to be with my son. Lord Fairfax will not allow me anywhere near him, and I—”

“We have discussed this already, Mrs. Hall,” Rushton replied curtly. “And the fact remains that Lord Fairfax is Andrew’s legal guardian. If you do not yield custody of him at once, your father will make good on his threat to have both you and Sebastian arrested.”

Clara knew that. For herself, she didn’t care. Even in prison, she would somehow find a way to keep fighting for her son if she had to write letters to every justice in the country and the queen herself. But she could not bear the thought of Sebastian being censured for an act that had been entirely her doing. She could not allow him to take any blame when he had only sought to help her.

Shame split her heart in two. Her breath jolted from her throat when Fairfax strode toward her. She stiffened her spine and clutched Andrew to her side.

“Andrew!” Fairfax’s mouth compressed with irritation. “Get in the carriage at once.”

Andrew shook his head, half-concealed behind the folds of Clara’s skirt.

Fairfax pierced Clara with a glare. “What has he said to you?”

“He hasn’t said anything!” The admission ripped at her chest. “What have you done to him to make him stop speaking?”

“He has been despondent over his father’s death,” Fairfax replied. “Andrew, get in the carriage. You know the consequences should you disobey.”

“He is not going anywhere with you,” Sebastian said.

“He is, or you will be imprisoned before the day is out,” Fairfax replied curtly. “Is that what you want, Mr. Hall? After the scandalous events of recent years, do you want your family to contend with your arrest for abduction? Imagine what such gossip will do to your father’s reputation. Not to mention his position with the Home Office.”

A heavy stillness settled between them, as if even the air itself stopped moving. The edges of Clara’s vision darkened. Fairfax clenched a hand around Andrew’s arm and pulled him away.

As Clara reached to grab him back, Andrew yanked himself from Fairfax’s grip and ran to Sebastian. He flung himself at Sebastian as if the man were a lifeboat in a storm-lashed sea.

Sebastian closed his arms around the boy. An expression crossed his face that Clara had never seen before—a wrenching combination of grief and hopelessness. Tears burned her eyes.

“If you let the boy go, Mr. Hall,” Fairfax said, “I am willing to forget any of this ever happened.”

Clara’s gaze skidded to Rushton, her breath stopping as she silently prayed he would relent and intervene on their behalf.

Rushton watched his son holding on to Andrew. The earl’s shoulders were stiff and his expression unreadable. Only a faint flicker in his eyes betrayed any emotion whatsoever.

“Please,” Clara whispered.

Rushton looked away. He opened the carriage door. Fairfax took hold of Andrew and wrenched the sobbing boy from Sebastian’s arms.

“No.” Sebastian reached with his right hand to grasp Andrew’s shoulder, but his hand froze into a clawlike position, his arm stiffening up to his shoulder. His curse broke like glass shattering through the air.

Clara ran to her son, her heart seizing at the sound of his sobs. Fairfax pushed out a hand to stop her. The impact slammed into her chest and set her stumbling back a few steps. Sebastian lunged forward and tried to grab Andrew again.

The groom sprang at Sebastian, catching him offguard and bringing him to the ground. The two men fought, Sebastian’s left fist flying upward to catch the other man’s jaw. The groom jerked backward and raised an arm. Sebastian flung him off and vaulted to his feet just as Fairfax wrestled Andrew into the carriage. Rushton followed them, his back as rigid as a plank of wood.

The carriage door slammed. A cry lodged in Clara’s throat. Sebastian started toward the carriage, but the groom had already clambered back to the bench. With a snap of the whip, the horses plunged forward.

Sebastian ran after them, his boots slamming against the dirt-covered drive. The carriage picked up speed, moving farther and farther away. After following it almost to the road, Sebastian slowed to a halt and braced his hands on his knees, his body heaving with exertion. The carriage rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.



Sebastian planned an immediate return to London. He sent word in advance for his house staff to expect them, then arranged for a carriage and train tickets. He went in search of Clara to tell her they would depart that very evening.

He found her standing at the window in her bedchamber, her profile etched against the cold glass. Regret wrenched at him, but he smothered it beneath an inflexible resolve.

He would not fail her.

He would not fail Andrew.

He would not fail himself.

“You’d best prepare to depart,” he said. “Our train leaves at six.”

She turned to him, her face schooled into an impassivity that did not conceal the grief burning in her eyes.

“There is nothing more we can do,” she said.

Sebastian shook his head, hating the resignation in her voice. “You’re wrong. There is always something more we can do.”

“If not even your father will resist Fairfax, then what hope do we have of any success? And I will not drag you farther into—”

“Stop.” Driven by sudden anger, Sebastian crossed the room to clasp her shoulders. “You are not dragging me into anything, Clara. If I thought you were, I would divorce you. We are in this together. We have been since the moment I accepted your proposal. And we will fix it together.”

She didn’t ask how. Instead she folded herself into his arms and buried her face in his chest. Her arms tightened around his waist. Sebastian pressed his lips to the top of her head. For all his preoccupation with his family—Rushton, Darius, Catherine, Alexander—he’d lost sight of the most basic premise of his marriage to Clara.

She was his family now. Clara and Andrew were his family. His to provide for, to cherish, to protect. He was bound to ensure their happiness. He alone could fight for their safety. He alone could keep them together.

And not even Fairfax could stop him.

The realization broke inside him like a comet racing through a dark sky. He’d spent so many months despairing the loss of his hand, the end of his career, that he hadn’t realized the void was being filled with something so much more fulfilling. An abiding love, a sense of purpose that flared his blood with colors and happiness.

He grasped Clara’s waist, ignored the seizing of his hand, and lowered his head to kiss her. Her soft gasp slipped into his mouth, but her body curved against his as naturally as a leaf bows to a breeze. She parted her lips and smoothed her hands over his jaw and into his hair.

“I love you,” Sebastian whispered against her mouth. “If you will but trust me, I will not fail you.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks, salty against her lips. Sebastian brushed them away with his thumb and lifted his head. Though Clara might be correct that the core of his being remained the same, Sebastian knew he had irrevocably changed, and not solely due to the loss of his hand.

He had changed because of Clara, because she had shown him how to reshape desperation and use it as fuel. Because she, too, knew the black despair of having something taken away, and yet she had never wavered in her efforts to get Andrew back. If she would not waver, then neither would he.

“Your father is still in financial straits,” he said. “And while we cannot rely on Rushton’s help, I’m certain Alexander will give us whatever we need to appease him.”

Clara shook her head. “It isn’t about money, Sebastian. If it was, Fairfax would have made an explicit demand when we spoke with him about Wakefield House. I’m certain he would take whatever you offered, but I fear nothing will make him relinquish custody of Andrew.”

“Yet it also isn’t a question of Fairfax wanting to raise Andrew himself, is it? If it were, he wouldn’t send the boy away for medical care. I don’t imagine he would stay with Andrew in Switzerland, do you?”

“No.” Clara bit her bottom lip. “He never thought Andrew would amount to anything, Sebastian.”

So what else was there? Sebastian had the nagging sense that they were missing something important, and yet he had no idea what it was. On the surface, Fairfax was a grandfather committed to retaining custody of his grandson and putting him under the care of a physician.

Maybe the answer lay with the physician and the institution…if Fairfax chose not to stay with Andrew, which seemed likely, then Sebastian and Clara might have a chance to see the boy while he was under medical care. Fairfax would probably make arrangements to bar them from the institution as well, but money could work to unlock those doors.

And Sebastian would tell Alexander everything that had happened, if it would mean his brother’s financial support. Alexander would be furious over the revelations about Catherine Leskovna and might very well renounce both Darius and Sebastian for having associated with her again, but he would help give Clara the opportunity to see her son.

“I have an idea.” Sebastian gripped Clara’s shoulders, felt hope flow through him in a wave of sky blue. “Will you trust me?”

“I do trust you.” Her gaze searched his, her violet eyes filled with a mixture of warmth and sorrow. “And you have already proven your love for me. Now you must give me the chance to do the same.”