A Different Kind of Forever

Chapter NINE

MARK BENDER CALLED to ask Michael if he could come out for the weekend. “It’s too f*cking hot in Hoboken, man. I need green.”

Sure,” Michael laughed. “Come on out. It’s green here.”

Mark left Manhattan early Friday and drove straight out to Mendham. Fred showed him to a guest room, and he quickly changed and headed out to the pool. Michael was alone, drinking beer, looking out over the lake.

“So - where is everybody?” Mark asked, sitting down, sipping beer.

Michael took a deep breath. “Seth is in Atlanta. I don’t know why. David is up in Toronto, getting musicians lined up. Diane is down at the shore.” He glanced over at his friend. “Glad you’re here, man. I don’t know what I’d do all by myself.”

Mark looked at Michael closely. He was thinner, looking tired. “How’s the movie thing coming?”

Michael brightened. “Great. I’ll have to play some stuff for you. Different, you know? Really different from anything I’ve done before. The director is driving me f*cking crazy, but it’s cool. So far I can deal.”

“So, what’s with Diane?” Mark asked. He was fascinated by his friends’ relationship with Diane. They were the same age, and had until now been attracted to the same type of woman. Diane had come out of left field, as far as Mark was concerned. Not just her age, but her interests, background and attitude. Mark was the first to agree she was a sexy, attractive woman. But beyond that, he was mystified.

Michael shrugged. He knew that Mark didn’t understand his feelings for Diane, but that didn’t affect the friendship. “She’s with her girls,” he explained. “They’re staying with their father down in Beach Haven. He’s got a house. She drove down yesterday, just for the night, to spend some time with them.”

“So, how come you’re not with her?” Mark asked.

Michael took a long drink. “She hasn’t told them we’re seeing each other. It’s some kind of, I don’t know, code or something.”

“What the f*ck are you talking about?” Mark shook his head. “What kind of code?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t want them to know, because I’m a f*cking rock star and both of her girls have a crush on me, or some such shit. And she doesn’t want them to get too attached, because we haven’t been together very long, and what if we break up tomorrow, then the girls would be all upset. I don’t know, I’ve been drinking all afternoon. But I think that covers most of it.”

“Oh, man,” Mark pulled a bag of pot out of his pocket and began to roll a joint. “How do you feel about that? Sounds pretty f*cked up.”

Michael shook his head, watching Mark carefully tamp down the marijuana. “No. She’s got a point. Her oldest daughter got kinda pissed off when she found out about us, you know?”

“Yeah?’’ Mark ran his tongue down the edge of the paper, and sealed the joint shut. “Did the oldest daughter have a crush too?”

Michael shrugged.

Mark flicked his lighter and drew on the joint. “So, is she hot?”

“Who?”

“The daughter, man. You could do, like, a threesome, you know? How f*cking cool would that be?”

Michael passed his hand over his eyes. “Mark, you are so twisted. I can’t believe it. I wouldn’t sleep with her daughter. Shit.” He started laughing. “Yeah, I can see me suggesting that. Diane would f*cking kill me. She’d pick up a chair and beat me to a pulp.”

Mark took another hit. “Want some?”

Michael made a face. “You know better.”

Mark leaned his head back. “Can we go sailing later? I love sailing when I’m high.”

Michael took another swig of beer. “Sure. Then we’ll eat. How about the pub?”

Mark nodded, and smoked the joint in silence. He carefully tamped it out, and got to his feet. “Let’s go, man. I want to sail.”

They spent the next hour on the water, then came in and went into town to eat. Mark was a good distraction for Michael. They talked about their high school days together, about the upcoming reunion.

“Next year,” Mark said excitedly. “It’ll be great. You and I were two of the biggest geeks, man, and look at us now. You’re like a star, and I’m going to make a million f*cking dollars this year. Don’t you want to see Warren Estes face when he sees us?”

“Warren Estes? Shit, I haven’t thought about him in years. He was such an a*shole.”

“I know, man. I hope he’s selling f*cking insurance somewhere, married to some fat bitch.” Mark was trying to roll another joint as Michael drove home. “I want to see that redhead, you know, the cheerleader. Shit, she had the most perfect set of tits in all of Fabian’s. You know who I mean?”

Michael chuckled. “Yeah. I know who you mean.”

Mark lit the joint and took a long drag. “Every guy in the whole school tried to get in her pants. I know she was f*cking somebody, I mean, I know it. I could just never figure out who.”

Michael looked sideways at his friend. “That was me, man.”

Mark stared. “What? You? You’re kidding me. You have to be. She was a f*ckin’ foot taller than you, Mike.”

“Just about. It was after I joined the band - of course. She didn’t know I was alive before that. But that whole senior year, it was amazing. Denise followed me around every weekend, chasing girls away, trying to protect my innocence. But during the week, I’d be over at her house.” Michael shook his head, remembering.

“F*ck you, man. I can’t believe you never told me. Shit.” Mark stared out the window. “So, tell me now. Was that the best sex ever? I mean, it had to be. She was so f*ckin’ hot. I know, you’ve had more women than any five regular guys, but she was the best, right?”

Michael drove, watching the road, turning up toward the house. “No, man. The best is right now,” he said shortly. He looked sharply at his friend. “And I’m not going to tell you all about it, okay?”

Mark threw up his hands and shrugged. “Okay.”

They went into the house. Mark headed for the kitchen, grabbed a couple of beers, and met Michael back out by the pool. Michael had not turned on the lights, and the only light was from the quarter moon. He took the beer from Mark and watched as Mark pulled off his clothes and dove naked into the pool. Seconds later, Max jumped in after him.

“If your dog tries to bite my dick, I’m gonna be really pissed off,” Mark called, swimming lazily.

Michael laughed. “Max ignores anything under an inch long, man, you’re safe.”

Mark pulled himself out of the pool and padded to the table, took a long drink of his beer, then slumped down into a chair. “So, you’ll see Diane tomorrow night? Do you want me to leave?”

Michael shook his head. “No, she’ll probably spend tomorrow night at her place. I won’t see her ‘till Sunday. Stay. I have to work tomorrow, but you can hang. Seth should be back, though. You two can go trolling for women.”

“Yeah?” Mark looked encouraged. “That would be cool.” They sat in silence for a few minutes. “So, why won’t you see Diane?”

Michael shrugged. “She likes to spend time alone, that’s all. It’s no big deal.” He looked at Mark. “This is kind weird for her, I think. She wasn’t exactly expecting somebody like me to suddenly appear in her life. She just has to re-group sometimes.”

“She sounds like a very complicated woman,” Mark said, shuddering.

“She is. That’s the great thing, you know? We’ve been together almost three months. And I’ve never been bored. Not once. She’s fantastic.”

Max hauled himself out of the pool and stood in front of Mark as he shook himself. Water flew everywhere. Mark cursed. Michael just laughed.





Michael drove over to Diane’s late Sunday afternoon. It was hot, the air heavy with rain, the sun behind clouds. Her car was in the driveway. He walked into the house without knocking. She had given him a key at the start of the summer, but he rarely used it. She was always home when he came by.

Music was blasting, as usual. The Supremes. He smiled as he followed a series of thumps back to the den.

She was rearranging furniture, trying to push the loveseat against the wall. Michael stepped in and picked up an end, sliding it effortlessly in place. She grinned at him.

“You have perfect timing, as usual.” She came over and put her arms around his waist, kissing him.

“What happened to you?” he asked, frowning. There was a long scrape down her cheek, and a gauze bandage on her elbow.

Diane shrugged and looked embarrassed. “I fell. Megan wanted me to go roller-blading, and I stupidly said I’d try. I’m the world’s biggest klutz. I should have known better. I totally wiped out on my very first attempt.” She twisted her arm and looked at her elbow. “This isn’t so bad. My thigh is all tore up.” She turned to show him. Her upper leg was red and raw.

“God - does it hurt?”

“Just a little. The worst part was having an ER nurse pick gravel out of my butt.”

Michael chuckled. “That, I would have liked to see. How are the girls?”

“Great. Help me here, okay?” They maneuvered the television back into the corner. Diane looked around. “Better, don’t you think? More room?”

“Yeah. I wish you’d let me help you with this kind of stuff.”

“You just did. Thank you.” She put her arms around him again. “So how was your weekend?”

“Good. Mark was over.”

“And how is Mark?”

“He thinks you’re a complicated woman.”

Diane shook her head. “Nothing against your friends, but Mark would think a bendable Barbie was complicated.” She kissed him, slowly. Michael brought his hands up from her hips, across her back, and she winced.

“What? Your back too?” He turned her around and lifted her tee shirt. The left side of her back was badly scraped . “That has to hurt,” he said.

“Only if I touch it,” she said ruefully.

“Well, that shoots the hell out of my next suggestion,” Michael said with a chuckle.

“Hmm, we’ll see. Beer?”

“No. Thanks.” He followed her into the kitchen. “Mark was drunk or high all weekend. Un-f*cking-believable. I drank so much beer I’m going to feel buzzed for the next three days.”

“And every other word out of your mouth for at least a week will be ‘f*ck’”

He laughed. “ He does say that a lot. Can I help?”

“Sure.” She was husking corn, and handed him two ears. “I’ve got crabs in the cooler in the garage, still kicking, so they’ll be great, and corn and tomatoes and half a peach pie from a farm stand down there. How does that sound?”

“Wow, you mean I’ll get to eat and everything?”

“Of course. You think I’d just have you move furniture then send you home?”

“Here.” He handed her the corn, then shook the silky fibers into the garbage.

“So, what did you say to Mark?” She poured iced tea and handed him a glass.

“Say to Mark about what?”

“About me being complicated?”

“Oh, I knew you weren’t going to let me off the hook about that one. Let’s see.” He took a long drink of tea and looked deliberately thoughtful. “I told him I didn’t understand a thing you said or did, but you gave the best blow job I’d ever gotten, so I didn’t care.”

Diane rolled her eyes and went past him into the living room. She sat down gingerly on the edge of the coffee table and Michael sat across from her on the couch, his feet propped on the table next to her. “So tell me,” she said softly. “Tell me everything that you did while I was gone.”

He told her, watching her face. Her hair was wild around her, thick and curling from the humidity. Her face was tan, lips pale with no make-up. Her eyes, as she listened, got wider, dancing as she smiled. She leaned forward, and he could smell the clean lemon of her shampoo. He had stopped talking, he suddenly realized, and was staring, listening to the hum of air conditioning. The music changed. The Temptations.

“Don’t you listen to anything recorded after 1982?” he asked her.

She tilted her head to the side, thinking. “I don’t think so. What are you staring at?”

“You look gorgeous.”

She chewed her lip, glancing downward, and he could see her starting to blush.

“I look like a gypsy,” she said, bringing her hands to her hair and trying to pat down the curls.

“Okay. You look like a gorgeous gypsy.”

She smiled, grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch. He followed her into the bedroom.

“What about your back?” he asked as he pulled off his clothes.

“You can’t touch. At all.” She pushed him onto the bed, and climbed on top of him. “I mean it.” Her hair fell around his face as she kissed him. He tried to bring his hands to her face, but she caught them and pushed them back against the bed, holding his wrists on either side of his face.

“Close your eyes,” she suggested, “and try to relax.” He gave himself over. He could feel her, her mouth, her hands, the thick fall of her hair. He kept his eyes closed, his hands buried into the bedclothes. He heard thunder, loud and very close. She stroked him, licked him, and kissed him until he thought he would burst. Her voice was in his ear, a warm whisper. Is this good? How about this? Do you like it? Tell me what you want. Then he felt her, her weight on his hips, sliding onto him slowly, rocking, and he opened his eyes and saw her watching him, a smile on her lips as she led him, faster, until he rose against her as thunder rattled the windows and rain pounded against the roof. She slid off him and snuggled against his shoulder. He was breathing heavily, damp with sweat.

“I think the earth really moved,” he said at last.

She giggled. “It could have been the thunder.”

“Oh - okay. Well, still.” He turned his head to look at her. “How about you? Do you mind when you don’t come?”

Diane kissed him quickly. “Sometimes it’s not about the big orgasm, you know? Sometimes it’s just about being close.” She traced his lower lip with her finger. “I just wanted you inside me, that’s all.”

He exhaled slowly. “That is such a chick thing.”

She giggled again. “Oh, d’ya think?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure, in the entire history of mankind, no guy has every said to his buddy, ‘well, I didn’t come, but that’s okay, I just wanted to be close.’”

Diane blew into his skin, making a loud raspberry noise. “You men are pigs. Seriously.”

“I know we are.” He got up on one elbow and looked at her back. “Man, your ass looks horrible,” he said, startled.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, turning to look. “A little cellulite, maybe, but not that bad.”

“You know what I mean.” There was a large scrape, looking red and ugly against her pale skin. “Are you supposed to be putting something on that?”

“Yes. The doctor gave me salve and gauze and stuff.”

“In the bathroom?” he asked, rolling from the bed and walking naked across the floor. He returned with a white plastic bag, sat back next to her, and spilled the contents on to the bed.

“Here, let’s try this first,” he suggested, examining a tube.

“Michael, you don’t have to do this,” she said, feeling embarrassed.

“Who else is going to do it? You can’t reach. Besides, you just fulfilled one of my long-standing fantasies.”

“Oh? You’ve always wanted to make love to a woman with rocks in her butt?”

He chuckled and applied the salve gently. “No. During a thunderstorm. It’s very tricky timing. Now, I can check another one off my list. Want some on your back?”

“That would be good. Any other fantasies I can help you with?”

“Maybe. Since you don’t have a sister, are you close to your friend Carol?”

“Forget it. Next please?”

“How do you feel about handcuffs?”

“Oh, very cute. Ouch, not so hard.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. Is that better?”

“Yes. It takes the sting out. Thank you.”

“Sure.” He wiped his fingers with gauze. “All done.”

“I really appreciate it. You’re always doing the nicest things for me.”

“I love you, remember?”

“I know. And I’m grateful every day.”

“Are you hungry?”

“No, not really.”

“Will the crabs keep?”

“For a while.”

“Then let’s just stay here. When the rain stops, we’ll get out of bed.”

“Good plan.”

He stretched out on his back, and she curled against him, and they fell asleep with the sound of the rain on the roof.

Marianne Thomas gave Diane a call. Classes were starting, and Marianne had come back from her annual pilgrimage to Crete. They agreed to meet for lunch.

Marianne could not believe how lovely Diane looked. Her hair was long, glossy and curling. Her face was tanned, her eyes bright and happy. Marianne clucked her tongue as Diane sat down.

“I take it you’re still with that beautiful boy?” Marianne asked, arching a plucked eyebrow.

Diane made a face. “He’s not a boy, Marianne.”

“No, but he is beautiful. What happened to your face?”

“I fell. I tried to go roller-blading with Megan.”

“God, why would you want to do that?”

Diane shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis.”

“I would think,” Marianne said carefully, “that having frequent sex with a man roughly half your age would ward off any impending midlife crisis.”

Diane examined the menu. “So, tell me. Tell me about Greece. Did everyone remember you again this year? It must be like a family reunion by now. You’ve been going back to the same place since before I knew you. What, eight years?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. It has been eight years. They even fixed me up this time, with a lovely English woman, who was as desperate about the dearth of Greek lesbians as I was.” Marianne shook out her napkin. “She left me feeling pretty much the way you look”

“How do I look?” Diane looked over the top of the menu.

“Cherished.”

Diane took a gulp of the wine the waiter placed in front of her. Marianne sipped hers, watching her friend.

“Are you in love with this man?” Marianne asked suddenly.

Diane set down the menu slowly. “I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. The girls are home next week. I won’t be able to see him every day, once I’m back to work. The play is going to take up so much time, I had no idea. I feel like a junkie about to be taken off drugs. Is that because I need him? Love him? I don’t know. I think I do. He says he’s in love with me.”

“He says?”

“Yes.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Have you been living with him?” Marianne asked.

“No. Not exactly. I’ve been going home everyday, usually on my way to school, to feed the cat, get mail. Change clothes. All I’ve got at his place is a toothbrush. I do stuff at the house. I can’t call my mother from his place, it just feels too weird. She never forgave me divorcing Kevin, and I can just imagine what she’d think of all this. But we haven’t been apart more than a couple of nights in a row all summer.”

“How cozy.”

“I know. And it’s all about to change. And Quinn Harris is coming back and teaching another class this fall. It’s a done deal. Sam told me.”

Marianne took another sip. “This is all so interesting. Maybe I shouldn’t go away next year. It seems I’ve missed an awful lot.”

“I’ve been living in a very artificial world all summer. I mean, he has a boat, we sail. We have lunch served by the pool. We run into The City whenever I want. There’s all this great sex at the drop of a hat. That’s not how I usually run my life, you know that. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fit him into my real world.”

“Well, this can’t be the real world for him, either, can it? I mean, isn’t he usually doing something other than catering to your every whim? Doesn’t he tour or record or make videos or something?”

“Yes. Right now he’s working on a score for a movie. He’ll probably be going up to Toronto in the next few weeks. For a month or so, he thinks.”

“So, you won’t be able to see him all the time anyway, right?”

Diane shrugged. “We haven’t really figured that out. He says he’ll fly back. I could go up on weekends”

“There, see, aren’t you glad I’m back? I’ve solved all your problems for you in half a drink.”

Diane shook her head. “I don’t know what to do about Quinn. Until I met Michael, I kept hoping he would divorce his wife, come back here and sweep me off my feet. Apparently he has divorced her, and he’s on his way back. Now what do I do?”

“My dear woman,” Marianne said severely, “You’ve already been swept. Don’t get greedy.”

“You know how I felt about Quinn,” Diane said. “He was everything I ever wanted.”

“What’s Michael?”

“Michael is more,” Diane said softly. “He’s wonderful, but let’s face it, he’s almost twenty years younger than I am. How much longer can this possibly last?”

“Have you asked him?”

Diane stared down at the linen tablecloth. “He says there’s no reason we can’t have a future together. He just hasn’t exactly figured out what it would be like, and neither have I.”

“Well maybe it’s time you did, especially if he’s going off to Toronto. How would you feel if he got lonely up there and latched on to somebody else?”

Diane gaped at her friend. “Michael? He would never do that.”

“How the hell do you know? You’re sitting here, trying to decide if you should make a run at some man you met two years ago, just in case the whole Michael thing takes a dive. How do you know he’s not thinking the same thing about some cute little Canadian groupie he met up there?”

“He would never walk away from what we’ve had for the past three months,” Diane said indignantly. “He’s in love with me.”

“And you aren’t in love with him. How long do you think he’s going to be happy with that?”

“Shit,” Diane said softly.

“Amen to that.” Marianne signaled the waiter, who came and took their order. They sat quietly for a few more minutes. Diane chewed her lip thoughtfully.

“So I guess it’s time to fish or cut bait, huh?” Diane asked at last.

“It might not be a bad thing, you know. Wouldn’t you like to know where this is going?”

Diane shook her head. “No. And this is so unlike me. You know how I am about stuff. Although the phrase ‘control freak’ rarely comes up in conversation with my close friends, I like knowing exactly where things are going, and how, and why. I think I love him. I really do. I feel like a kid with my head in the clouds. But what if I’m not? Does that mean it will all end? I don’t want this to end.” She ran her fingers up and down the stem of her glass. “He’s in my head all the time. He crowds out so much. Maybe it’s a good thing he’ll be gone, because I don’t know how I could concentrate on anything with him right there. I feel like it’s him and then everything else. But the everything else is my life. It’s my job and my house, picking up the girls after school, doing laundry. I don’t know how I’d say no to him because of something I had to do for Emily. I’d hate it.”

“Don’t you think you’re not giving him enough credit?” Marianne leaned forward, covering Diane’s hand with her own. “He’s not a selfish person, is he? Surely he would understand your choices.”

Diane sighed. “It’s not about him. He’s very generous. Of course he’d understand. He makes no demands on me, Marianne, even when I know that maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m doing, or why. He never questions me, never tries to talk me out of anything. It’s me. I’m projecting, I guess. Isn’t that the current psycho-babble? He doesn’t ask things of me, but I feel the need to change for him. For his happiness, or comfort. It’s scary. It’s confusing. I don’t know how to get my mind around it.”

The waiter appeared, setting their plates in front of them. Diane cut her burger in half and began eating, slowly and carefully. Marianne watched her.

Diane put her burger down suddenly. “So - how can I even be thinking about Quinn? God, I am such an awful person.”

“No, you’re not. You’re one of the best people I know.” Marianne speared a tomato and chewed thoughtfully. “Quinn isn’t quite so scary or confusing. Maybe that’s why. He would be a much simpler choice.”

Diane looked at her burger. “When I’m under stress, I tend to eat lots of red meat,” she said.

“Yes,” Marianne agreed, “I’ve noticed that about you. You’d better buy lots of steak.”

Diane nodded glumly, and finished her lunch in silence.

She drove out to Michael’s that afternoon. The sky had become cloudy, rain threatened, but she found him out by the pool. Seth was there, a beautiful, leggy redhead beside him. Stephanie had become a regular visitor. As far as Diane could tell, she had no job of any kind, other than making Seth happy, and she seemed to do that fairly well. The table was littered with glasses, wedges of lemon, and a half-empty bottle of tequila. Diane took in the scene with mild alarm. Michael did not drink often, not to this extent, and never so early in the day.

Michael was sitting at the table, wearing shorts, his Hawaiian-style shirt unbuttoned, and his feet bare. His hair had grown longer during the summer, his skin was smooth and brown. Seth saw her first, and shouted a greeting. She liked Seth a lot. He was smart and very talented, took very few things outside his music seriously, and was a great friend to Michael.

“Sit down, my sweet,” Seth yelled at her as she came out of the house. “We have decided to go to Bermuda. Stephanie says there are pink beaches in Bermuda, and I want pink beaches. Lochinvar here is coming with us.”

Diane came up behind Michael and kissed the top of his head. “Lochinvar hates to go anywhere. How did you manage this?”

“Come with me,” Michael said, grabbing her hand. “We’ll only be three or four days.” His eyes were slightly unfocused, his speech loose and happy.

Diane shook her head. “I cannot go to Bermuda. Sorry.”

“Why not?” Michael kissed her hand.

“For one thing, I just spent eight hundred bucks on the car and I can’t afford to go.”

“That’s bullshit,” Michael said happily. “I’ll pay for everything. No, don’t get all huffy. I know you don’t like me paying for shit, but this would be different.” He drew her head in closely and whispered loudly, “Once we get there, I fully intend to exploit you sexually.”

Diane laughed. “Oh? Well, then, that’s different.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and rubbed her cheek against his. “Would costumes be involved?”

Seth and Stephanie were smiling, but Michael looked thoughtful.

“Well,” he said finally, “Maybe just that French maid thing. I like you in black.”

Seth threw back his head and howled. Michael turned to him in mock anger.

“Oh, yeah, like you never played ‘The Pirate and the Princess.’”

Seth was laughing, pounding the table with his palm. “I can’t believe you, man, you are one f*cked up dude,” he sputtered. “Pirate. Oh man.” Seth took a breath and sat up straighter. He looked at Stephanie seriously. “Maybe we’ll try that tonight?” He asked, and then burst into laughter again. Diane was laughing with him.

“How long have you guys been out here?” She finally asked. “I’m going to have to play catch-up, I think.” She sat down and poured a shot, then sprinkled salt on her hand. “And why did we decide on this little trip anyway?” she asked, licking the salt and downing the shot. She grabbed the lemon wedge, sucking it as Seth answered.

“Because London is going to be so f*cking cold,” he shouted, pointing an unsteady finger at her. “London is always so f*cking cold. I need a major dose of sunshine before London. I hate the f*cking rain.” He turned to Stephanie, nuzzling her neck. “Will you keep me warm and dry in London?” he asked, and she giggled.

Diane licked the taste of lemon from her lips and turned to look at Michael. “London?”

Seth stopped laughing. Michael was looking closely at the backs of his hands.

Michael cleared his throat. “London. Prescott called this morning. His daughter starts school in a few weeks, so he’s doing all his post-production work there instead of Toronto. We’ll do all the sessions for the soundtrack as well as all the scoring in London. He’s got the studio. He wants us there Tuesday.”

“London?” Diane repeated. Michael did not look at her. She turned to Seth. His eyes were large and round, sober now.

Diane reached over and took Michael’s hand, pulling him out of the chair. She led him back to the house and to the end of the terrace, where the sliding doors to his bedroom were open. She pushed him into the room, and carefully shut the doors. She reached and pulled the pale gray drapes closed. His room was very quiet.

She took a deep breath and turned around. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning forward, his head in his hands.

“How long, do you think?” Diane asked softly.

He shrugged. “Prescott is a ball-buster. You know what he’s been like.” He lifted his head and looked at her. “The print that he sent me, the one I’ve been working on for three f*cking weeks, he now says has to be re-cut. Again. That means new music to be written. David left this morning, right after Prescott called, to get everything set up that he’s going to need, lining up musicians, all the shit that I know nothing about. Toronto was going to suck, but at least it was close, at least the same f*cking continent. I could have come down for a night or a day. Not now.” He shook his head. “I hate this. I am going to miss you more than you can imagine.”

Diane was shaking her head. “I can’t believe this, I mean, Marianne and I were just talking about this, how things were going to be so different. Once the girls were back, and school started, it was going to be hard, you know, not being able to see you whenever I wanted. This makes it easier for me, really.” She was watching Michael’s face, seeing his expression soften and change.

“I wasn’t even sure how I was going to tell the girls about us, you know? I’ve been going crazy about this, how I was going to get up to Toronto, the whole thing was going to be such a mess. So I guess this kind of solves everything, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” he said, very quietly. “I guess it does.”

He stood up and reached to hold her, but she stepped back from him. He watched her as she took a deep, ragged breath, dragging her hands through her hair, closing her eyes tightly. He covered his face with his hands, exhaled slowly, and when he pulled them away seconds later, she was calm, her breath slow, hands falling away. When she looked at him, her eyes were shiny with tears.

She did not want him to go. Suddenly faced with the long and dark days and nights that stretched out ahead of her, she wanted to ask him to stay with her. But she knew that this movie was more than just a new and different project for him. This was something that could help define him as a musician, as a composer. This was something that would take him from being a just another guy in a band and put him someplace else, not necessarily better, but someplace different. She knew he wanted it. She knew how badly he wanted more.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” she said simply. “Terribly.” She tried to smile. “Is this where we pledge undying loyalty and devotion?”

His eyes were very big. “Do you think we need to? You know I love you.”

“Yes. “

“Forever, Diane. I will love you forever.”

She looked at him. “Michael, think about what you’re saying. You and I will never grow old together. You know that. There is no forever with us.”

“Of course there is,” he said softly. “We aren’t like everybody else, you and I. You know that. We’ll have a different kind of forever.”

She moved then, and they fell back onto his bed, fierce, hungry, and she was aware of every hard line of muscle, each inch of familiar flesh. She tore at his clothes, her mouth closing on him, her hands stroking, coaxing, bringing him to the edge then pulling back, until he was gasping, breathless, and she straddled him and rode him, her hair falling around his face. His hands were on her breasts, then down around her waist, pulling her, arching deep inside her, and she wanted to brand him somehow, to make sure he would remember this day, above all the other days; because this was the day she did not try to stop him from leaving her. She climaxed, and he came an instant later, and she fell forward, panting, tears coming, and he held her until the sobbing had stopped and she lay quiet and still in his arms.

And then he was gone, and the girls came back, and the rhythm of her life began again, almost, but not quite, as it had been before she had met him.