A Cowgirl's Secret

Chapter Four

“For the record,” Barb said Monday morning, “I think this is a perfectly dreadful idea.”

“Duly noted.” Regardless, Daisy continued unloading her office-desk drawers into boxes. From the Remold Building’s twenty-second floor, the city view was surreal. The furnishings were sleek chrome, glass and rich leather. Their corporate clients expected the best and didn’t mind shelling out the big bucks required to obtain it.

Standing at just over five foot ten, Barb was a big, brassy redhead who hot-rolled her hair daily into a helmet of curls. Her clothes were all custom and her jewelry bodyguard-worthy. In court, her opponents nicknamed her Barbwire for her cutting legal mind. Outside of her workday, her heart was as big as her wallet. “Not only does your leaving put me in a major bind with the Hallworth case next week, but think about what this is going to do to Kolt. Everything he’s ever known is here, in San Francisco. He’s a city kid. How’s he going to take living in the sticks of Oklahoma?”

“Kolt will be fine.”

Barb crossed her arms. “Why don’t you take a leave of absence? A year if you need it. But don’t do anything rash. Get a short-term tenant in your loft and don’t officially give up Kolt’s slot at school.”

“I get all of your points, but the one thing you forgot to mention is the not-so-small matter of Kolt’s father. My son deserves to get to know the man.”

Sighing, Barb looked to the ceiling. “You’re being melodramatic—not to mention simplistic. You think just because this Luke character made you a cup of tea with honey that he’s going to magically forgive you for keeping his son from him for the past ten years?”

“I’d be lying if I said Luke’s not upset—understandably so. But I know he’ll forgive me, and—”

Barb smacked her palm on the desk. “Spit on the floor and call me Violet, you’re nuttier than an Okie fruitcake. This man will never again put his trust in you. Wait a minute… Please tell me you’re not harboring a secret reunion fantasy?”

“Of course, not. But I don’t want to think of him as an enemy.” Daisy glanced up to find Barb giving her the same, narrow-eyed glare she was legendary for sporting in courtroom battles. It was the same one that nine times out of ten preceded witnesses spilling their guts. “You can quit with the look, Barb. I’ve already told you everything.”

Her friend’s dubious expression said she wasn’t buying Daisy’s explanation. “Define everything….”

KOLT SMITH, FRESH OFF THE BUS from a week spent at Camp Redwood, couldn’t wait to get to his room. Camp was fun and all, but he’d missed his toys. Some of the guys in his cabin had said they were too old for toys and spent most of their summer chasing girls, but Kolt thought girls were gross—except for his mom. Oh—and Aunt Barb who always gave great birthday and Christmas presents.

“Slow down!” his mother yelled when he raced off the elevator toward their door.

“Can’t, Mom! I’ve gotta pee!”

She not only laughed, but ran alongside him. Very weird when she was usually so serious. Lots of times at night, when she didn’t know he was awake, he’d even heard her crying.

“Beat you,” she said, tagging the door.

“Yeah, but you cheated by shoving me out of the way.”

“I’m a lady,” she teased, “and I never shove.”

“Whatever.” Legs crossed, he hopped. “Just hurry and put in your key.”

“I told you to go at Pier Point.” Holding open the door, she flipped on the lights.

“Whoa.” Their usually cool loft was wrecked. “Did we get robbed?”

“No.” She ruffled his hair, usually a sign she was thinking of him as a little kid instead of an almost grown-up. “But as soon as you get out of the bathroom, I do have a surprise for you.”

“Is it good?” he asked on his way down the hall crowded with skyscraper piles of boxes.

“I think so. I hope you will, too.”

Kolt peed quickly. He was supposed to wash his hands, but since he wanted to know why there were so many boxes, he just brushed his hands on the fancy towels.

“Okay, what?” he asked, back in the living room.

His mom sucked in a lot of air and then blew it all out. “Well…while you were busy at camp, I was busy, too. Remember when you were little, and I bought you that giant stuffed buffalo and a tepee to play in? And we talked about Oklahoma and how it’s an important state?”

“Yeah?” Why did she look as if she was gonna cry? Man, he hated it when she did that. It made his insides feel all twisty.

“There’s a reason Oklahoma means more to us than the other states.” She wiped her hands on her jeans.

“I know my dad’s from there, and those people from the pictures you showed me, but I don’t even really know where Oklahoma is.”

“That’s about to change.” She put on a really spooky, big smile. “Honey, I know this is going to be hard for you, but we’re moving to Oklahoma, and—”

“What?” Kolt jumped up from the sofa, pitching one of his mom’s fancy pillows halfway across the room. “That’s stupid! My friend James moved to Chicago and I’ve never seen him again.”

“Honey, calm down and let me explain.”

“I don’t wanna hear anything. This is because of my stupid dad who I don’t even know, isn’t it? You’re ruining my life! I hate you!” Kolt didn’t really hate her, but on the way to his room, he couldn’t think of anything better to say. Moving was stupid and so was his mom.

He slammed his door.

She opened it and parked herself on his bed. “Sweetie, there are things I haven’t told you that I should’ve. When I was your age, I had a rough time.”

“Why?”

She took a stuffed pig from his toy bucket and played with its ear. “Some day, when you’re older, I’ll tell you. But for now, I need you to know that when I mentioned all of our relatives lived too far away for us to see, well…”

While she took more really deep breaths, Kolt asked, “You want us to live with them, right? Are we poor or is this supposed to teach me something?”

Standing, she pitched the pig back in his home. “We’re not poor and yes, being around people who love you will no doubt prove very educational.”

Hating his mom so much he didn’t even want to see her, he asked, “How can they love me when they don’t even know me?”

“Sometimes…” Her hug smooshed his forehead into her boobs. Why wouldn’t she stop and just leave him alone? “When people are family, they love you unconditionally. That’s how it’s going to be for you. In our new house, you’ll have your grandmother and uncles and aunts and there’ll be cousins for you to play with.”

His friend Lincoln had cousins and they were cool. Every Christmas they stayed with him for like two whole weeks. “Boy or girl cousins?”

“Girls, but—”

“I hate girls!” Just wanting to be by himself, Kolt ran to the living room, unhooking the safety bar on the sliding glass door that led to the balcony.

Planted in big pots were little trees.

Kolt hid behind his favorite, not caring that he was probably sitting in pigeon poop.

He’d been so excited to come home from camp, but now he wished he could have just stayed there. At least then he wouldn’t have had to move. And he wouldn’t have to see his stupid mom who was making him move. Or his stupid dad who was the stupid reason his stupid mom was making them move.



“DAISY. YOU’RE AH, the last person I expected to hear from.” Luke was standing outside a gas station, filling his truck, on the return leg of a job he’d done in Montana. He hadn’t heard from Daisy since their airport goodbye. Truthfully, she and Kolt had been on his mind ever since. “Still moving to my neck of the woods?”

“Planning on it, but the transition is going rougher than I’d like.”

“Anything I can do to help?” He topped off his tank, then fitted the pump nozzle back on its stand. The heat was intense, shimmering above the blacktop.

“I wish. I’m having a tough time with Kolt. He doesn’t want me to go, and I’ve tried explaining this is for the best, but he just doesn’t understand.” Sighing, she added, “Sorry to trouble you with this, but I figure since we’re now in this parenting thing together… Well, I’m not sure why I called. Guess I wanted to hear someone tell me I’m doing the right thing.”

Leaning against his truck, Luke crossed his legs at the ankles. Stomach knotted, he searched for words appropriate for polite company. “As much as I look forward to my son living closer, you called the wrong person. Truth is, I’m scared for the little guy. You’re being too hasty. Not that I know any right or wrong way to handle a kid of his age, but something about this doesn’t feel right. You need to slow down.”

“Of all people, I thought you would understand. I thought you would want him—us—back in Weed Gulch. Sorry I called.”

Out on the highway a trio of eighteen-wheelers rushed by. The exhaust stung Luke’s nose. “Don’t be like that. You asked my opinion and I gave it.”

“No, Luke, what I asked for was compassion and you gave me criticism.”

“It’s crap like this that keeps me single.” Groaning, he shook his head.

Her sharp laugh bit his ear. “Now not only am I ridiculous for wanting to spend time with my family, but I’m putting moves on you?”

“You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”

“Whatever. I’ve got to go.”

“Daisy, wait—” She’d already hung up.

Luke kicked his tire. The woman was maddening. He hadn’t seen her in a decade, yet a few hours spent together and already she was back under his skin. Or, hell, maybe she’d never left.

“WHY ARE YOU CRYING, MOM? Especially since moving was what you wanted to do?”

Two weeks after having decided to move, on the verge of introducing her son to everyone she held dear, Daisy swiped at tears she’d hoped ten-year-old Kolt hadn’t noticed. Forcing a smile, she ruffled his baby-fine dark hair. “Just allergies, sweetie.”

“Uh-huh.” Usually, she was proud of her smarty-pants son, but this was one time when she wished he wasn’t quite so observant.

“Whoa.” Though moments earlier his crossed arms had read angry and defensive, he now leaned forward with his hands on the dash. On the maple-lined approach to Buckhorn Ranch’s main house, he asked, “Is this like a cowboy mansion?”

The rambling two-story home was large enough for a family of twenty. Until she found a place of her own, no one would even notice she and her son were there.

“Sort of,” she answered, pulse racing to an uncomfortable degree. Back in San Francisco, handing over the loft keys to the hip, young artist friend of a friend named Gunter, she’d been positive this wasn’t just the right decision, but the only one. Not even her disastrous call to Luke had brought her down. She’d chosen to drive to Oklahoma with Kolt to give him time to transition—not just to the idea of moving, but to the change of climate and scenery.

Stuck in neverending traffic on a six-lane Denver highway, she’d been passed by a father and son and something about the pairing consumed her with chills. What if Luke had a change of heart, deciding he had no interest in becoming an instant father? How would she explain the rejection to her son?

Oklahoma summer sun came as quite a shock to her body used to San Francisco fog. Though the car’s air-conditioning was on high, it had a hard time competing with the sweltering rays.

“Whoever lives here must be really rich. Is this where my cousins live?” Kolt angled sideways on his seat to get a better look. “Cool! Look at all the cows! And horses—lots of them! Is that an emu?”

Kolt’s excitement shattered Daisy’s heart all the more.

She was a horrible mother. The worst. Had she been less of a coward when she’d carried him, he’d have spent every summer and school break on the land where she’d grown up and, in what seemed like another lifetime ago, fallen in love with his father.

“This place is awesome! How come we’ve never been here on vacation?”

Parking her Mercedes in the circular drive, she turned off the engine and prayed for courage to leave the car.

“Come on!” Kolt prodded, tugging her hand. “There’re chickens, too.”

From the home’s front door barreled the twins, Betsy and Bonnie. Behind them came Dallas and Josie. Next, came Daisy’s mom, Georgina, tall and strong, wearing her long white hair in its usual braid—this time neat as a pin.

“Aunt Daisy!” the twins cried in unison, bouncing around her when her quivering legs surprised her by actually allowing her to exit the car. “We missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” she said, gathering them for a hug. It warmed her that they even remembered her name.

Kolt rounded the trunk, shyly standing alongside her, taking her hand.

“Who are you?” Bonnie asked.

“Who are you?” Kolt retorted.

“Betsy, Bonnie…” Forcing a breath, Daisy looked to her mother and brother. “This is my son, Kolt.” His age combined with Luke Montgomery’s unmistakable robin’s-egg-blue eyes reminded all the adults assembled of everything they needed to know regarding the boy’s parentage. “Honey,” she said to her pride and joy, cupping Kolt’s shoulders, “this is your grandmother and cousins and aunt and uncle.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Kolt looked up at her. “Oklahoma wasn’t as far as I thought. If they’re our family, how come we’re just now seeing them?”

Daisy’s mother winced as if she’d been slapped.

“Girls,” Josie said to the twins, “could you please show Kolt your fort?”

“Boys aren’t allowed,” Bonnie informed her with a glare in Kolt’s direction.

“They are now,” Dallas said with a light swat to the girl’s behind.

“Come on,” Betsy said, sweetly taking her cousin’s hand. “We have lots of way-cool stuff.”

Kolt looked to Daisy for reassurance—especially about the hand-holding.

“Go on,” she nudged, despite the dread knotting her stomach. Hellish Oklahoma sun bearing down on her, she forced a cheery, “Have fun!”

“Okay…” After a last baleful glance, Kolt took off with Betsy in the direction of the wooded knoll where Daisy had once played with her brothers.

“He’s a good-looking boy.” Dallas’s tone lacked the slightest trace of civility. “Might’ve been nice meeting him while he was still in diapers.”

Their mother silently wept with her hands over her face.

While rubbing Georgina’s back, Josie shot her husband a glare.

“What?” Dallas barked at her. “Is it wrong of me to still be pissed? I can see her being freaked out by her pregnancy, but for ten years? We an embarrassment now that you’re a big-city lawyer? I thought I was over it, but now…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know you. No polite words even describe the damage you’ve done, not just to everyone you’ve ever known, but your own damned son.”

“Hon…” Hand on his forearm, Josie urged, “that’s enough. Daisy had her reasons.”

“Reasons? Like there could ever be a logical excuse for pulling something like this?” After a sarcastic snort, he wrenched free of his wife to storm off toward the barn.

“Mom, I—” How many times had Daisy rehearsed this moment in her mind? Literally thousands. Yet words wouldn’t come. Every horrible thing her big brother had said of her was right. Living with the guilt had become debilitating, interfering with everything from her work to raising Kolt. Each time she looked at her son, she saw his father’s eyes, her own father’s features.

“He’s so handsome—Kolt. Seeing him… It reminds me how much we’ve missed. How much your actions stole from us. I’m sorry. I thought I was prepared for this—meeting my grandson, but as happy as I am, I’m also beyond disappointed in you. More like disgusted. You and I used to be so close. We told each other everything. Did you think I wouldn’t understand? Not do everything within my power to help? You were only having a baby. Around Weed Gulch, it happens all the time.”

Daisy wasn’t sure how to respond. While her conscience nudged her to reveal the truth finally, fear kept her lips pressed tight. Daisy had known full well her mother would’ve moved heaven and earth to help her during her pregnancy. But she would have encouraged her to marry Luke, and that would mean staying on the ranch. She loved this place, but Henry was there and she couldn’t have faced carrying a child and seeing him every day. Plus, what if she’d had a girl? What if he’d tried starting the sick cycle all over again?