A Cowgirl's Secret

Chapter Two

Craving closure when he feared there was none, Luke drummed his fingers on a narrow black table holding white lilies with an overpowering scent.

“Th-thanks for bringing him home,” Daisy said to a brunette soccer-mom type and a kid.

Luke froze. Home? Since when did Daisy have a kid?

“Mom,” the boy mumbled, hugging her waist, “I threw up at practice.”

“I’m sorry.” Skimming her hand over his head with a tenderness she’d never had for Luke, Daisy said, “Heidi, I can’t thank you enough for bringing him home.”

“No problem,” Heidi said, glancing from Daisy to Luke. “Everything all right?”

“Fine.” Daisy hugged the boy to her. When she turned toward her loft, the color had long since drained from her face. “I—I’ve got to go.”

“Sure,” her friend said. “But while I’m here, Toby lost this week’s craft supply list. Mind if I copy Kolt’s? I’m afraid if I ask their teacher again she’s going to land both of us in day camp detention.”

Pouring on the speed, Daisy said, “I’m not sure where Kolt’s is. When I find it, I’ll call.”

“Slow down,” the boy complained. “You’re gonna make me puke again.”

Glancing over her shoulder to Luke, as he followed them, Daisy’s friend asked, “Are you sure you’re all right? I didn’t interrupt, did I?”

“Not at all,” Daisy assured, practically shoving the boy into her loft.

“Ouch!” he complained. “Mom, you’re hurting me.”

“I feel like I stepped into the middle of something. Want me to watch Kolt?” Eyeing Luke, Daisy’s friend said under her breath, “You know, in case you two need to talk.”

It was on the tip of Luke’s tongue to admit just how weary he’d grown of even being in the same space as Daisy until the dark-haired boy glanced at him through eyes matching his own.

Dawning, slow and building, spread through Luke, igniting both wonder and fury. No wonder Daisy was acting so skittish. For the past ten years, she’d hidden his son.

Luke snagged her by her upper arm, not caring he’d caused her to wince. “We’d really appreciate you watching Kolt, wouldn’t we, Julie?”

“Y-yes, please,” she said. “Heidi, if you need me, we’ll just be down the hall.”

“Mom?” the boy—Luke’s son—asked. “Need help?”

“No, thank you.” Wearing a smile Luke knew from experience to be fake, Daisy said, “This will only take a second and then we’ll watch a movie.”

With their audience safely behind the loft’s closed door, Luke dragged Daisy to the seating area in front of the elevator. “Talk.”

She shook her head.

“Damn you,” he ground out in a low tone, trying to keep it together if for no other reason than the last thing he needed was a nosy neighbor butting into a conversation ten years in the making. “Let me guess,” he said upon releasing her to push her into an armchair. “Your deep, dark secret you just couldn’t bear for anyone to know was that you were pregnant with our son?”

Swallowing hard, she nodded.

“You’re such a coward, you caused your family—me—years of worry and pain just to hide a teen baby?”

“Th-there’s more to it than that.”

Pacing, hands to his temples, Luke wasn’t sure whether to punch the nearest wall or hightail it to Daisy’s loft, taking back the son she’d hidden from him apparently without so much as a shred of remorse. His rational side knew the last thing their child needed was to learn he had a father in a traumatizing way. Because of that, he settled for asking, “If Dallas’s P.I. hadn’t found you, were you ever planning to tell me?”

“Yes.”

“Lord…” Hand to his forehead, he slowly backed away. The damned cloying flowers made him want to retch. “I can’t believe this.”

“I’m sorry. I really was going to tell you. I just—it never seemed like the right time.” The more she wrung her hands, the more he fought the urge to wring her elegant neck.

“I’ve imagined hundreds of possible reasons for you taking off like you did—vanishing without so much as a written apology. I thought you’d been kidnapped or had amnesia. Never for one second did I believe you’d voluntarily abandon me—your whole life. But this…” He shook his head. “You’re lower than low. Knowing you carried my son inside you wouldn’t have been bad news to me but the ultimate blessing. What did I ever do to deserve this?”

“Nothing,” she said through tears for which he had no sympathy. “I—I thought it better for everyone if I stayed away.”

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What an absolute train wreck you’ve made of not only my life, but our son’s? Can you even imagine the questions he’s going to have? Did you tell him I was dead? Or did you just not care? How am I ever going to earn the trust of a ten-year-old who never even knew I existed?”

Hands on her hips, raising her chin, Daisy snapped, “If you don’t want him, go back to Weed Gulch.”

“Wouldn’t you just love that?” His tone dripped with sarcasm. “No doubt nothing would make you happier.”

“That’s ridiculous. Now that you’re here, I’m relieved. If I’d truly wanted to keep Kolt from you the rest of his life, I could’ve done it.”

“That’s supposed to make me feel better?” He shot her a look of such pure, raw disgust, Daisy felt physically assaulted.

She doubled over. Sobs started and wouldn’t stop.

If only she’d told him about Henry. Then maybe Luke would understand. As it was, everything had come out all wrong. In a perfect world, she would have explained the nightmare that had caused her to leave before the miracle she’d found in their son.

Luke said, “The gentlemanly thing would be for me to give you a hug and tell you everything’s gonna be all right, but you know what, Daisy? That’s something I can’t do. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a father. I married not long after you left, hoping to get the chance at a family.” His sharp laugh told her what she already knew from having kept up with Weed Gulch gossip online. His marriage had lasted less time than the courtship. “The trust issues you gifted me with took that dream and shot it straight to hell.” Lowering his voice, he asked, “Where do I even start developing a relationship with my kid? Does he blame me for not having been in his life? What have you told him about me? Being ten, surely he doesn’t think he came from the stork?”

“Mom?” Kolt stepped outside the loft. “I heard shouting.”

Heidi followed. “I’m sorry, Julie. I tried keeping him with me, but he ran away.”

“It’s all right,” Daisy said with a sniffle. “If you wouldn’t mind, we’re going to need privacy.” Daisy went to her son.

Luke followed.

“Sure,” Heidi said, her wide eyes questioning. “Let me grab my purse.”

With her friend gone and her son alongside her, Daisy wished for courage, but found none. She’d always known this day was coming, though that knowledge did little to make it easier.

Clearing her throat, she suggested, “Why don’t we all sit down.”

Kolt didn’t budge. “Who are you?” he asked Luke. “Why are you making my mom cry?”

“Sorry about that,” Luke said, “but she did something that hurt not just me but you. Now, she’s sad.”

Daisy held Kolt for all she was worth. She had never needed her son more. “Sweetheart, remember how I told you your father lives really far away, and how he loves you bunches, but hasn’t been able to see you?”

Her son looked from her to scowling Luke. “Yeah…”

“W-well, I wish this moment could’ve been more special for you, but sweetie, this man—Luke Montgomery—is your dad.”

Luke knelt. “Hey, bud. I, ah, sure am glad to finally meet you.”

“If you really are my dad,” Kolt said, “then how come you never loved me enough to see me before now?”

“It’s complicated.” Daisy molded her hands to Kolt’s shoulders, hugging him against her.

“I hate that word.” Kolt broke free of Daisy’s hold. “Why can’t you ever just tell me the truth? I know my dad doesn’t love me and that’s why he never wanted to see me.”

“Whoa!” When Kolt took off running toward his room, Luke snagged him back. “You wanna know the truth? Until ten minutes ago, I never knew you existed. More truth? I’m really mad at your mom for not even telling me she was having my baby.”

“Really?” The boy looked from his mother to his father. With each bit of information Kolt’s eyes widened and Daisy’s heart broke a little more. What had she done? In hopes of protecting her child from that monster, Henry, she’d hidden him away from everyone who would have loved him, in the process, hurting him more than she ever could’ve known. “Is that true, Mom?”

Eyes pooling, Daisy nodded. “I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way. I just…” Her advanced degree didn’t help impossible words come easily.

“If you give me a chance,” Luke said to their son, “nothing would make me happier than getting to know you the way a father should know his son.”

“B-but you’re a stranger.” As if transforming himself into a self-sufficient island, Kolt also wrestled free of his father’s hold.

“That’s my point. You’re my son. We should at least be friends, don’t you think?”

Expression more confused than ever, Kolt escaped to his room, slamming his door behind him.

Daisy chased after him, but Luke grabbed her. “Let him be. Poor kid has a lot to digest. In time, he’ll be all right.”

“How do you know?” Daisy snapped. “Like Kolt said, you’re strangers.”

“And whose fault is that?” Luke asked.

The line on its own stung. Knowing Daisy had no one but herself to blame delivered its own special pain. “Regardless, I think you should leave.”

“The hell I will.” Brushing past her, he parked himself on one of the kitchen-counter bar stools. “Got any beer?”

“I’m serious,” she said in a whisper. “Get out. Kolt needs time to adjust, and I need—”

“I don’t care what you need,” Luke said in a dangerous tone. “This is about my son and me. If you’d wanted the idyllic pregnancy announcement, you might have considered staying in Weed Gulch.”

Exhausted, no doubt feverish, with an equally sick son on her hands, Daisy wanted to fight back, but lacked the strength, not to mention the justification. When it came to not telling Luke he was a father, Daisy knew herself to be one hundred percent in the wrong. “You may not believe it,” she said, “but I am incredibly sorry.”

KOLT USUALLY LOVED HIS ROOM. He had lots of great stuff to play with and, since his favorite color was blue, his mom had let him pick out blankets and pillows and even paint the walls a color she said reminded her of an angry sea. He’d never really got what that meant, but since he was never talking to her again, he didn’t guess it mattered. Now, his room, and their whole loft, felt like a jail.

Though he couldn’t tell what they were saying, he knew whatever was going on between that man and his mom wasn’t good.

His mom hadn’t lied to him before, but how was Kolt supposed to know that guy really was his dad?

Kolt wanted to get another look at him. Like maybe if he stared long enough, he might feel something. Most of his friends really liked their dads, so maybe Kolt would like his, too. Right now, though, he didn’t think so.

Somebody knocked on his door.

“Go away!” Kolt shouted. It was bad enough that he already felt super crappy, now to have all this weird grown-up stuff going on made him feel worse.

His mom opened the door. “I’ve got medicine and juice.”

“I said go away!”

“Kolt…” After setting a glass and two pills on the table by his bed, she sat next to him. “We really need to talk.”

He scooted as far away from her as he could without falling onto the floor.

“Okay.” She sighed. “Guess I can see how I might have cooties.”

“You’re so lame.” Arms crossed, he informed her, “Cooties are for, like, second-graders. I’m too old for that stuff.”

“Right. I forgot.” She tried ruffling his hair, but he dodged away before she touched him. Usually, he liked it when they horsed around, but now he wasn’t sure what to think. “Would you like to talk more with your dad? He’s in the living room and would really enjoy getting to know you.”

“Can’t you just leave me alone? Why would I want to talk to some guy I don’t even know? I don’t feel good and I just wanna sleep.”

“Sure.” Hand to his forehead, she said, “You feel like you have a little fever, so please chew these for me and then drink your apple juice.”

He hated stupid chew-up baby aspirin, but because Kolt wanted his mom to leave him alone, he went ahead and took it. Maybe if he went to sleep, when he woke up his mom and the guy who said he was his dad would be gone.

“HOW’S HE DOING?” Luke asked when Daisy emerged from their son’s room, softly closing the door behind her.

“Physically, I’m fairly certain he’ll live. As for his emotional state, I’ve never seen him like this. He’s usually a happy kid.”

“Give him a break,” Luke snapped. “News like this would send anyone over the edge.”

“You’ve officially been his father for what? All of twenty minutes? Where do you get off giving me parenting advice?”

“I’ll tell you where—”

“Stop!” Their son stood in the hall with his hands over his ears. “Both of you please shut up!”

Luke found the sight jarring. He’d always loved kids and to now be the cause of his own child’s pain was devastating.

“Sorry,” Luke said to his son. “The last thing I want is for you to get caught up in our grown-up frustration.”

“I don’t even know what that means,” the boy said. “All I do know is that before you were here, my mom didn’t cry and I could sleep without hearing yelling.”

As if finding Daisy and learning he was a father hadn’t been enough to digest in a single day, Luke was now faced with the probability that through no fault of his own, his son might never learn even to accept him, let alone actually to enjoy Luke’s company.

“I’m going to grab a motel room,” Luke said. “Kolt, I didn’t mean for you to get caught up in the middle of all of this, and I hope you feel better soon. As for you,” he said to Daisy, “give me a time and place that works for you in the morning. We have a lot of details to hammer out.”

Out of Kolt’s earshot, Daisy gave Luke the name of one of her favorite restaurants on the wharf, agreeing to meet at nine.

When he was gone, the air felt lighter, making it easier to breathe. For the longest time, she leaned against the closed door. In such a short time span, how could so much go wrong? That morning, her only worry had been a sniffle and an insane caseload. Now, her whole world stood on the verge of falling apart.

“What are you doing?”

Daisy glanced up to find her son staring.

“Honestly,” she said, busying flighty hands by straightening what was surely disheveled hair, “I’m taking a time-out.”

“Why did you lie to me about my dad?”

Her son’s question deserved a well-thought-out answer, but she didn’t have one. “Come here,” she said, hand on his back, leading him to the sofa. “I was really young when I got pregnant with you. I got scared and ran away. After a while I made a new life for you and me, and it seemed easier to forget the past.” She took a deep breath. “But I know how selfish that was. Can you forgive me, Kolt?”

Her son stared at her with eyes so much like Luke’s. “I guess.” He turned away, then added, “He looks like me.”

“I’ve always thought so,” Daisy admitted. “So many times I wanted to tell you all of this, but remember when you accidently broke my favorite crystal vase, and were afraid to tell me?”

He nodded.

“That’s how I’ve felt about your father, only on a much bigger scale. When he came here today, I was just as surprised as you. But now that you two know about each other, aren’t you curious about what he’s like?”

Shrugging, Kolt said, “I guess. Is he always so grouchy?”

A wistful smile tugging her lips, Daisy reminisced, “Luke was always the most kind and gentle person I knew. That’s why I loved him. He made everything that scared me seem not so bad.”

“Do you still love him?”

What a question. “No. But when we made you, I thought he was the most amazing guy on the planet.”

“Eeeuw.” He made a face. “Does that mean you did it with him?”

Refusing even to respond to a birds-and-bees question from her ten-year-old, Daisy held out her hand. “Come on. Somewhere high up in my closet are pictures I’d like you to see.”

Photos Daisy had carefully avoided for so long.

She had a hard enough time dealing with remembered images of her former life, but in time, those had grown fuzzy. To hold smiling snapshots of all she held dear would be excruciating. Her mom, grinning in her garden. Her favorite brother, Cash, hamming it up with GQ poses. Dallas and her father, the stoic ones of the Buckhorn clan. Never overtly demonstrative, but both with hearts of pure gold. Wyatt, rarely seen without a football or pretty girl. And then there were shots of Luke. Handsome, funny, sweet. His grins took her breath away. His kisses filled her with hope and wonder and dizzying pleasure she hadn’t even tried finding again. Why should she, when she deep-down knew such perfection could no longer exist.