A Clandestine Corporate Affair

chapter Six

Nathan sat in his office Tuesday afternoon, browsing on his phone the photos Ana had emailed him of his visit Sunday. Though he had spent a couple hours with Max Thursday, and nearly the entire day at Ana’s on Sunday, it didn’t really hit home the bond that had begun to form between him and Max until he saw pictures of the two of them together. He hadn’t realized how alike they looked. Not just features, but expressions and mannerisms. And he hadn’t noticed the adoration in Max’s eyes when he gazed up at him. The kid was really taking to him, and Nathan couldn’t deny the tug of parental affection.

Ana, on the other hand, seemed as though she could take Nathan or leave him. He had hoped they might get a chance to talk about what had happened Thursday night, but she’d made herself pretty scarce. Other than snapping a few pictures, she’d spent most of her time in the spare bedroom with her scrapbooking paraphernalia, updating Max’s baby book. A few times when he did try to start a conversation she’d given him the brush-off. Apparently she’d had no trouble whatsoever forgetting that kiss.

He had known that hugging her was probably a bad idea, that he was tempting fate, but she had looked so confused and miserable that he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He knew the instant her body was pressed to his, and her arms wrapped around him, that he had to kiss her, but then she’d slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him first. If Beth hadn’t shown up, he didn’t doubt for a second that they would have wound up in bed together. And it would have been a huge mistake, because as he suspected at the time, Ana was only reacting to the highly emotional situation. When he gave her an out, she gladly took it.

Oh, well, easy come, easy go.

He wasn’t sure what kind of game she was playing with him. He just wished he could shut his feelings off so easily.

Nathan tried to get himself invited to stay for dinner Sunday, but Ana wasn’t biting. She said they had plans for the evening, although she didn’t say what they were. He had hoped they could have a quiet family dinner, he could tuck Max into bed again, then he and Ana could relax with a glass of wine and talk. He had forgotten until recently how much he enjoyed spending time with her. He left her condo at four-thirty wondering what was more disappointing: not being with Max, or not being with her.

Since the instant Beth had introduced Nathan and Ana he had been drawn to her. And while it was true that their relationship had begun based on little more than sex—and really fantastic sex at that—he found what he missed most about her were the times they just talked. She had a very unique and quirky way of looking at the world. Despite her station in Texas society, there were no pretensions, no ego. She was who she was, and when he was with her, he almost felt he could be who he was, too. That she was the kind of woman who would accept him. But accepting him, and deserving him, were two very different things. But damn, had he missed her when it was over.

It would never work for them, so why was he sitting here devising plans to spend more time with her? Things like leaving work early and showing up at her door unannounced with dinner tonight.

There was a knock at his office door, and he looked up to see his brother let himself in. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Did Mom call you?”

“When I was in a meeting. I haven’t had a chance to call her back. Why, is something wrong?”

“No. She wants you to bring the wine this year.”

“The wine?”

Jordan laughed. “For Christmas dinner. It’s a week from this Saturday.”

“Seriously?” Nathan looked at his desk calendar. It seemed as though just a week ago it was Thanksgiving. And frankly, dinner with his mother once a year was more than adequate. “Maybe I’ll have the flu this year.”

“If I have to go, so do you.”

“I have an idea. How about neither of us goes?”

“She’s our mother.”

“She gave birth to us. The nanny was our mother. Maybe we should go have dinner with her.”

“It’s Christmas,” Jordan said. “The time for forgiveness.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Fine. I’ll call her and let her know.”

“Should we get her a gift?”

Nathan folded his arms. “How about a plaque that says Mother of the Year?”

“Funny.”

He might consider it if he thought for a second that she would appreciate the gesture. But when a twelve-year-old kid spent a month’s worth of allowances to get his mother a necklace for her birthday, only to find it crammed down into the garbage the next day, it left a lasting impression.

“Isn’t it enough that I’m spending an entire evening with her?”

“It’s not going to bother you if I get her something?”

“Not in the least.”

“So,” Jordan said offhandedly. “Anything new with the investigation?”

Nothing Nathan could tell him. Though Adam and the board had promised to keep Jordan in the loop in regard to the investigation, he needed plausible deniability. Jordan was operations officer and worked closely with the men in the refinery. They respected and trusted Jordan. If they knew there were agency operatives working undercover among them and thought that Jordan was a part of it, that respect and trust would be lost. That was too important to sacrifice, especially now.

Besides, as of the last report that had landed on Nathan’s desk, the agency hadn’t made any progress in the investigation and was no closer to learning who tampered with the equipment. And Jordan had seemed particularly antsy to get results lately. He valued each and every man at the refinery, and he didn’t want to believe that someone he trusted could be responsible for the explosion.

“Nothing new,” he told his brother.

“If there were, would you tell me?”

He didn’t answer.

Jordan shook his head. “That’s what I figured.”

If he thought for a second that he could trust his brother, he would tell him the truth, but Jordan would only take the information and use it to benefit himself. Everything was a competition to him. He was convinced that was why Jordan fought for the CEO position at Western Oil. It was some sort of twisted sibling rivalry.

“Anything else?” Nathan asked him.

“Nope, that’s it,” Jordan said, then added on his way out the door, “Don’t forget to call Mom.”

He should probably do that now before he forgot. Hopefully he could make it quick. He picked up the phone and dialed his mother’s place and the housekeeper answered. “Your mother is with her bridge club, Mr. Everette. You can try her cell.”

“Could you just let her know that I got her message and I’ll bring the wine for Christmas dinner?”

“Of course, sir.”

After he hung up, he sat back in his chair and considered all the work he should get done this afternoon, and weighed it against spending time with Max and Ana. They won, hands down.

He shut down his computer, got up and grabbed his overcoat. His secretary, Lynn, looked up as he walked past, clearly surprised to see him in his coat.

“I’m taking off early today. Would you please cancel my appointments for the rest of the day?”

Her brow furrowed with worry. “Is everything okay?”

It was pretty sad to know that he was so chained to his job, he couldn’t leave work early without his secretary thinking something was wrong. “Fine. I just have a few personal things I need to take care of. I’ll be in early tomorrow. Call me if anything urgent comes up.”

He ran into Adam, the CEO, on the way to the elevator.

Adam looked at his watch. “Did I fall asleep at my desk? Is it after eight already?”

Nathan grinned. “I’m leaving early. Personal time.”

“Everything okay?”

“Just a few things I need to take care of. By the way, how is Katie?” Adam’s wife, Katie, lived two hours away in Peckins, Texas, a small farming community, where she and Adam were currently building a house and awaiting the birth of their first baby.

“She’s great. Getting huge already.”

Nathan was sure the long-distance relationship had to be tough, but Adam’s beaming grin said they were making it work. Nathan wondered what it would be like to be that happy, that content as a family man. Unfortunately, he would never know.

“She’s actually in town this week,” Adam said. “She was thinking of having a small holiday gathering this Saturday. Just a few people from work and a couple of friends. I don’t suppose you could make it.”

He had been hoping to spend Saturday evening with Ana and Max, but with the CEO position in the balance, now wasn’t a good time to be turning down invitations from the boss. “I’ll check my schedule and let you know.”

“It’s last-minute, I know. Try to make it if you can.”

“I will.”

Nathan was stopped two more times on his way to the elevator, then he was corralled into the coffee shop in the building lobby briefly before he finally made it out the door and to his car. He stopped at home to change, noting as he stepped in the door the absolute lack of anything even remotely festive. He didn’t even bother to display the Christmas cards that had been arriving in a steady stream the past couple of weeks. He never decorated for the holidays. He didn’t have the time or, truthfully, the inclination. Most of his Christmas memories were the kind better off forgotten.

When he bought this place five years ago he’d had it professionally decorated, mainly because he didn’t have time to do it himself. It was aesthetically pleasing, but it had no heart. He’d never put his own stamp on it. He spent so little time there, he might as well be living in a hotel. In contrast, Ana’s condo, despite being a mess most of the time, was a home. When they were dating he’d spent most of his free time there instead of bringing her back to his place. The truth was, he never brought women home.

Recalling the stains on his slacks the last two times he visited Max, this time Nathan opted for jeans and a polo shirt. He was out the door by four, and pulled in Ana’s driveway beside her SUV at four-ten. A gust of cold northern wind whipped around him as he walked to the porch. He knocked on her door, hoping she wouldn’t be angry with him for stopping by unannounced.

She pulled the door open, Max on her hip, clearly surprised to see him. “Nathan, what are you…” She trailed off, looking him up and down, taking in his windblown hair, his casual clothes. “Whoa. That is you, right?”

Ana may have been confused, but Max wasn’t. He squealed with delight and lunged for Nathan. Ana had no choice but to hand him over.

“Hey, buddy,” Nathan said, kissing his cheek, and he told Ana, “I got out early today, so I thought I would come by and see what you’re doing.”

She stepped back so he could bring Max out of the brisk wind and shut the door behind them. She was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a sweatshirt, her feet were bare and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Damn, she was pretty. The desire to pull her into his arms and kiss her hello was as strong now as it had been a year and a half ago.

“You got out early?” she said. “I thought you were swamped.”

He shrugged. “So I’ll go in early tomorrow.”

“But we don’t have a visit scheduled.”

“I wanted to see Max. I guess I missed him. I thought I would take a chance and see if you weren’t busy.”

“Oh.” She looked as though she wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. “We sort of have plans. We were going to have an early dinner then go get a Christmas tree.”

“Sounds like fun,” he said, more or less inviting himself.

“You hate the holidays,” she said.

“Who told you that?”

“You did.”

Had he? “Well, then, maybe it’s time someone changed my mind.” He paused, then said, “Is that Thai place you used to love so much still around?”

She folded her arms, eyeing him skeptically. “Maybe.”

“We could order in. My treat.”

The hint of a grin pulling at the corner of her mouth said she was close to caving. “Well, I suppose if I’m going to get a free meal out of it…”

He grinned and handed Max over to her so he could take off his coat.



Ana sat on the couch, listening to the all-holiday music channel on the satellite radio, watching as Nathan set up the Christmas tree in the stand.

This was probably a really bad idea. She probably shouldn’t have invited Nathan to come tree hunting with them. The more she saw of him, the harder it was to keep her feelings in check, but Max had been so happy to see him, and Nathan had seemed pretty darned happy to see him, too. She just hadn’t had the heart to turn him away. Besides, getting a Christmas tree was supposed to be a family activity. Not that she and Max and Nathan were a family. Not in the conventional sense, anyway. And Max was so little it wasn’t as if he would remember it.

So, was she doing this for Max, or for herself?

Good question.

Max had fallen asleep in the car on the way home and had gone straight to bed, so there was really no reason for Nathan to be here. She was perfectly capable of setting the tree up by herself. So why, when he offered to do it, had she said yes? Why wasn’t she telling him to go?

Because she was pathetic, that’s why. Because spending the afternoon with him, and going to pick out a tree together, had been everything she could have imagined it would be. Because she wanted them to be a family, wanted it so badly she was no longer thinking rationally.

She’d been doing her best to avoid Nathan, to give him and Max time to get to know one another, but it seemed as though the less she talked to him, the more he tried to talk to her. She was all for them being friends, but her feelings were still a bit raw. They were going to have to set some rules about his popping in unannounced. Especially if he decided to be a permanent part of Max’s life, which certainly seemed to be the way he was leaning. She hadn’t brought it up yet. She figured he would broach the subject when he was ready.

“So, what do you think?” Nathan asked, stepping back to admire his work. “Is it straight?”

“It’s perfect.” The tree was larger than she usually got, but she’d figured what the heck, it was only for a few weeks, and she knew Max would be so excited when he woke up and saw it in the morning. Tomorrow night, after the branches had time to settle, they would decorate it. Everything about this holiday season would be special because it was Max’s first.

Nathan grabbed his hot chocolate from the credenza where he’d set it and sat down on the couch beside her, resting his arm across the cushion behind her head. And he was sitting so that their thighs were nearly touching. What was this? A first date? Did he have to sit so close? There was a perfectly good chair across the room. Why didn’t he sit there? Or even better, why didn’t he leave? Would it be rude to ask him to go?

With the fireplace lit, and only the lamp by the couch on, there was an undeniable “date” vibe in the air. Or maybe she was mistaking intimate for cozy. Cozy and platonic.

“I had fun tonight,” he said, sounding surprised by the realization.

“Does that mean you’re changing your opinion about the holidays?”

“Maybe. It’s a start at least.”

“Well then, maybe I should let you help us decorate the tree tomorrow.”

Ugh! Did she really just say that? What was wrong with her? It was as if her brain was working independently from her mouth. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Nathan grinned. “I may just take you up on that.”

Of course he would. She was supposed to be avoiding him, not manufacturing family activities that Max would be too young to remember anyway. She was only making this harder on herself.

“What was it you disliked so much about Christmas anyway?” she asked him.

“Let’s just say it was never what you would call a heartwarming family experience.”

“You know, in all the time I’ve known you, you never once talked about your mom and dad,” she said. “I take it there’s a reason for that. I mean, if they were awesome parents I probably would have heard about it, right?”

“Probably,” he agreed. Then nothing.

If she wanted to know more, obviously she would have to drag it out of him. “So, are they still together?”

“Divorced.” Nathan leaned forward to set his cup down on the coffee table. “Why the sudden interest in my parents?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess it would be nice to know about the family of the father of my baby. Especially if he’s going to be spending time with them.”

“He won’t be.”

“Why not?”

“My mother is an elitist snob and my father is an overbearing bully. I see her two or three times a year, and I haven’t talked to my father in almost a decade.”

Her father would never be parent of the year, but she couldn’t imagine him not being a part of her and Max’s life.

“Besides,” Nathan added, “they’re not ‘kid’ people. Jordan and I were raised by the nanny.”

“I think if my mom had lived, my parents would still be together,” she said. “I remember them being really happy together.”

Her father had loved her mother so much, in fact, that he never got over losing her.

“I don’t think mine were ever happy,” Nathan said.

“So why get married?”

“My mom was looking for a rich husband and my dad was old money. I was born seven months after the wedding.”

“You think she got pregnant on purpose.”

“According to my grandmother she did. As a kid you overhear things.”

She didn’t even know how to respond to that. What a horrible way for Nathan to have to grow up, knowing he was conceived as a marriage trap.

Ana would make it a point to assure Max that even though his parents didn’t stay together, he was wanted and loved dearly from the minute he was conceived. Which was exactly what Nathan’s mother should have done, whether it was true or not.

Then she had a thought, one that actually turned her stomach. “This is why you thought you wouldn’t be a good parent, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t had the best role models.”

He sure hadn’t. And why was she was just hearing about this now? Talk about being self-absorbed. Why hadn’t she asked about his family when they were dating? Why hadn’t she tried to get to know him better?

She thought she loved Nathan, but the truth was, she hardly knew anything about him. Had she been so self-centered, so busy having “fun” that she hadn’t even thought to ask? Or was she just too busy talking about herself?

No wonder Nathan had dumped her. If she were Nathan, she would have dumped her!

“I’m a terrible person,” she said.

He looked genuinely taken aback. “What are you talking about?”

“Why didn’t I ever ask you about your family before? Why didn’t I know any of this?”

He laughed. “Ana, it’s not a big deal. Honestly.”

“Yes, it is,” she said, swallowing back the lump that was filling her throat. “I feel awful. I remember talking about me all the time. You know practically everything about me. My life is a freaking open book! And here you had all this…baggage, and I was totally clueless. We could have talked about it.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well of course you didn’t. You’re a guy. It was my responsibility to drag it out of you by force. I never even asked. I didn’t even try to get to know you better. I was a lousy girlfriend.”

“You were not a lousy girlfriend.”

“Technically I wasn’t even your girlfriend.” She got up from the couch and grabbed their empty cocoa cups. “I was just some woman you had sex with who talked about herself constantly.”

She carried the cups to the kitchen and set them in the sink.

Nathan followed her. “You didn’t talk about yourself that much. And besides,” he added, “it was really great sex.”