A Beautiful Forever

chapter 22

Paige

After breakfast, Elliot excuses himself to go and have a shower. I can tell he’s still a little upset with me for mentioning my plans for

when he goes home. I guess that was a little insensitive of me, I’m happy to leave the subject alone, but we can’t pretend like it isn’t

going to happen. He needs to leave, and I need to stay.

Knocking on the bathroom door, I call to him that I’m going out for a while, I don’t wait to hear his response, but the others know I’m

leaving so they can tell him for me.

I’ve told them all that I’ll pick up some milk while I’m out but my true reason for going is to take some time to think on my own. I feel so

guilty about what’s happening between me and Elliot. He is so beautiful and kind, and I seriously wonder why in the world, he would

choose me. Was it just that I was there when he was looking or was it some higher power that pushes people together and takes

away their good sense and reasoning?

My stomach churns as I think about him leaving because let’s face it - I’m falling for him, hard. All we have left in this world is three

more perfect weeks together, and it’s more than I could hope for. Long term, there’s simply no way we could make it, once I tell him

everything about my past, it would be virtually impossible for him to look at me the same way he does now. As much as I’d like to

keep it all a secret, I can’t, I mean, things would be fine for a while but eventually my secrets would push him away – I just can’t pin all

of my hopes on him.

I find a bench to sit on and scroll through the messages on my phone, there are at least ten notifications, telling me there are voice

messages waiting – I know they’re from my parents but I haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to them but their ever increasing

number keeps staring at me, taunting my curiosity.

I select one and my thumb hovers over the screen, just above the voicemail number. Nerves and foreboding fill my body, and I can’t

seem to force myself to touch the numbers and make the call.

Blowing out my breath as I squeeze the emotion from my eyes, I hit the home button and select my gallery instead. I select the most

recent photo I have of Elliot and I on the train when we were riding to Shane’s party last night, I touch his face on the screen and flick

to the next one. It’s the one of us kissing outside the cemetery on that ghost walk he took me on.

Deciding to focus on Elliot and deal with my family issues in three weeks’ time, I delete my voicemail notifications and place my

phone back in my bag on a sigh.

“I can do this,” I say to myself as I rise from the bench, heading towards the supermarket to go and buy the milk to take back with me.





Elliot


Paige has been gone for ages, and I’m starting to get worried, our new housemate, Jolene, has been here for nearly an hour

already, and she’s still not back from getting milk.

I think about sending her a text or calling her, but I don’t want to seem too overbearing or worse – needy, even though right now, I feel

like she’s the only reason my body allows me to take a breath.

Jolene seems like a nice enough girl. She's a Bondi girl same as me and thinks we might have actually mixed at some point as she

used to date a guy I knew from Sydney Grammar. I probably have met her before, but she would have been like every other girl I

knew back then and overlooked me because of my weight.

She keeps touching me on the arm, and I can see Naomi giving me a sympathetic smile. She knows me well enough by now to

know that I don’t like girls who are all over me the moment we meet. I know I exploited the reaction girls have to me for a while after I

broke up with Katrina, but that’s just not who I am. I like girls who like me for me, which is why I’m so glad when the door opens, and

Paige walks in carrying the milk.





Paige


As soon as I open the door, I see everyone sitting on the floor talking around the coffee table. What’s the deal with the floor today? Is

there a broken spring on the couch or something? Then I notice the new girl, Jocelyn – or something? I’m shit with names, so I’m not

quite sure what hers is. However, she is paying a lot of attention to Elliot; her hand is on his arm, and she’s saying, “I can’t believe I

have probably known you for most of my life, and I can’t even remember!”

He turns around and sees me, jumping up guiltily and coming over to greet me. My chest hurts, and I feel immediately sick. I was just

out agonising over my feelings for him, and he’s back here flirting with the new girl?!

“Having fun?” I ask straight away. The new girl gets up and follows him over.

“Hi, I’m Jolene. You must be Paige,” she says, holding her hand out to shake mine. I look at it for a moment before I decide to give it

a quick shake. She looks at me with uncertainty, “Um, Elliot and I were just catching up, turns out we knew a few of the same people

at school.”

“I see,” I say flatly, I can feel that I’m being awful right now, but I don’t want her around me. “Excuse me,” I say as I place the milk in the

fridge and walk to my room, locking the door behind me.





Elliot


I’m not really sure what’s wrong with her. She just came inside and was all annoyed. She was really rude to Jolene and didn’t even

say hi to anyone else. I glance at Jolene, who’s looking around the room awkwardly.

“I need to go and see what’s wrong with her,” I say.

“Oh!” she says, seeming a little confused before it clicks. “Are you two together?”

“We are,” I confirm as I head off down the hallway and tap on the door before trying to open it. It’s locked. “Paige,” I call through it.

“Can you open the door please?”

She doesn’t answer so shaking my head in annoyance, I stalk back to the entryway to go and get my keys and open it myself. As I

pass the lounge room all eyes are on me, but the look on my face must tell them I’m not in the mood for talking to them because they

quickly look away and pretend to be talking about something else.





Paige


We had pushed the two beds together last night, so I’m lying across the middle of both of them, listening to Radiohead’s OK

Computer, my headphones blasting the track Lucky into my ears to block out any sounds around me. I just over reacted big time. I’ve

never done the jealous girlfriend thing before – although I’ve never cared so much about someone before. In the past, the men I was

with were a means to an end, I chose them for reasons other than attraction.

When the door opens, I sit up on my elbows, watching as Elliot closes it gently behind him and climbs onto the bed next to me.

He lies on his side and looks at me. Concern etched into his facial features as he searches my face with his eyes. My heart skips as

his fingers brush my face when he reaches over to me, pulling one of the buds from my ear and spilling Thom Yorke’s crooning voice

into the quiet of the room.

“Are you going to tell me what’s up?”

I stop the music and slide myself up, so I am sitting on the bed against the wall. He watches me intently, waiting for my response.

“I just walked in and saw you flirting with the new girl, and I hated it.”

He raised his eyebrows and then cracked a smile, “You think I was flirting with her?”

“Uh, yeah – you were all smiling and laughing while she was touching you. Then you jumped up all guilty the second you saw me.”

He started chuckling; I'm having a jealous hissy fit, and he's chuckling at me!

“Have you even considered that I was jumping up because I was relieved that you were home? You were gone for over an hour to

get milk – I was worried. Jolene was going on and on in my ear, and I was trying to be polite and listen but all I could think about was

you. I jumped up because I was glad you were back and that nothing bad had happened, plus - I was glad you were back so Jolene

would see I have a girlfriend and stop throwing herself at me.”

“So I’m your girlfriend now am I?” I ask, feeling ridiculous at how my heart just did cartwheels through my chest when he said it.

He climbs up the bed and kneels in front of me. “Paige – we live together; you are way more than just my girlfriend, alright? You

should know by now that I hate girls being all over me. I find it incredibly uncomfortable.”

“Yeah right, you hate pretty girls flirting with you and touching you?”

“Paige - I was pretty overweight when I was a kid, right up until my late teens. Girls like Jolene out there - they didn’t give me the time

of day. When I got into sports, lost a bunch of weight and started to bulk up with muscle, suddenly these girls were looking at me like

I was this new guy they’d never met before, and they made their interest obvious – just like Jolene was. I admit - I went with it more

than a few times, because I am a guy not a saint, but it was all hollow. Those girls, they didn’t like me, or we would have been dating

when I was overweight. They only liked what I looked like and what being with me did for them. I’m not stupid. I know how I look, and I

know that I attract a lot of women, but I don’t want them. The only woman I care about touching me, or flirting with me – is you, don’t

ever doubt that.”

“You were chubby?” I ask disbelievingly, trying not to smile.

“Why are you laughing? I’m pouring my heart out here!” he laughs back.

“I’m sorry! It’s just that the image of you as a chubby kid is so adorable!”

He pulls me toward him and rolls on top of me, biting on my neck so it tickles like hell. I’m laughing so hard that I start slapping at his

back and yelling, “Stop! Stop!”

Slowing his mouth to a gentle kiss, he pulls away and looks down into my face as he holds himself over me.

“Can I tell you something?” I ask, touching his face.

“Anything,” he replies.

“I haven’t had a boyfriend for eight years.”

His eyebrows shoot up, “Eight years?”

Nodding, I say, “I didn’t think I could care about anyone again.”

A smile spreads over his mouth as he leans closer to me, lowering his voice to a low deep gravel that hums through my body when

he speaks. “So… you care about me huh?”

“Very much,” I whisper as his mouth meets mine, my body responding immediately by wrapping my arms and legs around him,

writhing against him.

Breaking away for a moment, he looks down at me, eyes sparkling. “So, um, that was some trick you showed me this morning,” he

growls, pressing his erection against me, nipping me on my neck and driving me wild.

“Do you want me to show you again?” I whisper, gasping as he pushes himself against me once more.

“Hell yeah,” he grins, eyes twinkling as he rolls on to his back, still holding me against him. I make a big show of sliding down his

body, undoing his pants slowly before releasing his erection, gliding my hand up and down his smooth shaft before lowering my

mouth.

“No yelling,” I tease, before taking him in my mouth and slowly start drawing him in.