‘Whoops. Uh-oh, you’re in trouble, Lily Butterworth!’ Emily said, with a laugh.
‘I know! I mean, I’m not sure how I stand legally as far as eBay is concerned, but there’s all this momentum from this Frédérique guy now, too. And it feels so official and I’m just worried that if I… back out, I might be in trouble?’
Emily slung an arm around her friend’s shoulder and shook her head. ‘Darling, I was joking. I don’t think he’s going to extradite you to France and haul you before the courts, or throw you in the dungeon of his ch?teau.’
‘I know that. But I want to move to France one day.’
‘You may have mentioned this previously.’
‘Em, it’s not funny. What if I muck this guy around and end up scuppering my whole future!’ Lily felt her mouth wobble with threatened tears.
‘You seriously think,’ said Emily, looking at her, ‘that making a mistake on one transaction might blacklist you for the whole of France?’
Lily felt herself blush. ‘I know, it’s extreme. But it feels so serious. I mean, of all the houses on eBay why did I have to commit to buy one from the fucking chief of police? And you know what I’m like with, well… getting things right?’
‘You mean your misplaced sense of honour?’
‘I mean, wanting to do the right thing.’
‘That’s what I said.’
‘So I’m screwed, basically, aren’t I?’
Emily looked at her and put a reassuring hand on her knee. Her brow was slightly furrowed and she focused her intelligent green eyes on Lily’s face. ‘He’s not the inspector general, sweetheart. He’s just the local bobby at best. I mean, how many houses are there in Eymoutiers?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe a thousand?’
‘And the hamlet the house is in?’
‘Probably about a hundred, at most.’
‘And by the looks of this one, half of them are derelict or for sale. So, he’s not the big I am, or anything.’
‘No, I suppose not. Still, I feel…’
‘I know you do.’ Emily said kindly. ‘That’s one of the things I love about you.’
‘My chronic anxiety?’
‘Your honesty.’
‘Thank you.’
‘So what are you going to do?’ Emily said. ‘Do you want me to help you? I can’t remember much French from school, but I’m sure I could help you wriggle out of it. I can say I did it, if you want.’
Lily looked at Emily, her face earnest. ‘You’re such a good friend,’ she said.
‘So that’s a yes? You want me to contact this Frédérique?’ Emily said, with a mock French accent.
‘No,’ said Lily, slowly, looking at her friend. ‘I don’t think I do.’
‘You’re not actually going to go through with it, are you? I mean, I know you want to move to France and all. But buying a house this way – sight unseen – is extreme, even for you!’
‘I know. And my first response was – how do I get out of this? But since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking… well, what if I just go for it? What if this is the universe’s way of getting me to take the plunge?’ Lily said, feeling suddenly shy.
‘And by universe, I take it you mean three-quarters of a bottle of Beaujolais?’
‘Well, yes,’ Lily blushed. ‘The wine… well, it did come into it, I think. But wine just sort of… well, releases your inhibitions, right?’
‘Definitely,’ Emily said, her eyes clouding a moment with memory. ‘Yep. Makes you do things you probably secretly wanted to all along…’
‘And, I suppose… on some level, however drunk I was… maybe I tapped into something. Something I really wanted to do but have been too… I don’t know. Scared, I suppose.’ Lily moved the laptop back towards her and pulled up the picture of the house again. ‘I mean, look at it, Emily. I could do everything I wanted there. There’s a huge garden, a habitable stone house and room for a whole studio in the barn if I can afford to get some works done, or even do it myself.’
‘Wow, you’ve really thought this out!’
‘Well, yes. I’ve just about got enough to cover it, if I use our savings, plus Mum’s inheritance, or max out the credit card. Then later, when Ben and I sell this place, we could renovate the feck out of it.’
‘Bloody hell.’
‘Yup.’
‘It sounds like,’ Emily said, ‘I mean, I know you feel guilty, or think that the whole of France will shut its doors to you if you so much as put a toe out of line. And that this guy you’ve agreed to buy the place from is some sort of super powerful politician policeman hybrid…’
‘Yes…?’
‘But it kind of sounds like the main reason you might be moving forward is because… is it because you actually want to?’
Lily looked at the property again. She imagined herself and Ben putting up curtains, tidying the garden. Painting and plastering walls. Learning how to replace the pointing in the ancient stone. Then getting quotes for a barn conversion. Networking with local practitioners and putting together a relaxation retreat for guests. And the life they could have – country walks, swims in the lake, visiting art galleries. Having, if not complete freedom from work, the freedom to be masters of their own time. To set their own agenda and report only to themselves. She nodded. ‘I mean, it was an accident, committing to the place, it really was. But I want to do this so much. I am… I am going to do it.’
‘Wow! Good for you… I think.’
‘Thanks!’
‘But what about Ben? I mean, you said he’s got cold feet about the whole France thing… and he doesn’t know you’ve… well, gone ahead without him.’
‘I suppose I’m hoping…’ Lily said, ‘well, sometimes when something’s kind of decided for you… it’s easier to go along with it than it is when you have more of a choice. I mean, he was completely on-board about moving to France next year until recently. Maybe he just needs a little push.’
‘Maybe,’ Emily said.
‘I take it you don’t think that’s how it’ll go?’
‘I mean, it’s a risk, isn’t it?’ For once, Emily’s face was deadly serious. ‘What if he puts his foot down and says no. And what’s he going to do when he finds out you’ve committed to buying a new house without even mentioning it to him?’
‘Hang on…’ Lily shifted slightly so she could look directly at her friend. ‘I thought you were always saying I should be more direct?’
‘Well, yes. But this is not quite what I meant. Being direct in conversation is one thing. Splurging the savings on a stone cottage in France is… well… something else entirely.’
‘Oh god,’ Lily said. ‘You’re right. He’s going to say no, isn’t he?’ She put her head in her hands.
‘Not necessarily.’ Emily rested her hand on Lily’s shoulder. ‘You never know… it’s like you said… it might be the push he needs. Who knows?’
‘Yeah,’ Lily said, her voice less certain than before. ‘I mean, except he didn’t even seem up for the holiday idea last night. Not a proper holiday. A weekend in Paris is lovely and all, but it’s not even meeting me halfway.’
‘Oh Lily…’
‘I know he… I believe he loves me. It’s more… does he love me enough to go against all his instincts and take a risk. This much of a risk?’
Emily nodded. ‘Well, I suppose you’re going to find out.’
‘Don’t think I’ve given myself much of a choice.’
‘And what about Ty?’
Lily felt a fresh flush of guilt. ‘Well, he’s off to uni in a couple of months. We won’t sell the house from under him. And maybe if we do release some… some equity we can help him more with his rent and things. He won’t get into so much debt.’
There was a pause.
‘No offence but – be honest – was this actually a mistake, Lily?’ asked Emily, carefully.
‘Yes! Honestly. I had in mind this idea of a holiday that might lead to more. And I’d been looking. I wasn’t concentrating, I know that. And I’d had a lot to drink. It was a genuine mistake. But…’
Emily looked at her, an eyebrow raised. ‘But?’
‘But at the same time it’s given me the thing I’ve been dreaming of since I was about twelve.’
Emily nodded. ‘Subconscious property purchases. It’s probably a thing if we look it up on the internet. There’ll be support groups and everything.’
‘Ha, probably.’
‘A Freudian slip of the mouse…’
‘Possibly… but I think this is a one-off.’
‘Yes, hopefully not the start of a very expensive addiction.’