BEN WONDERED IF he’d gone too far when Caitlyn didn’t answer him right away. His ego would be toast if she turned him down, but something had happened during her progress through the course. It was if she’d thrown down some heavy burden and was high with the joy of letting it go. Her exclamation at the end of the balance beam had thrown him off. Of course she had a child. Did that surprise her?
“Okay,” she said finally. “If you can do the salmon ladder all the way to the top, I’ll go to the dance with you.”
Ben narrowed his eyes. That wasn’t what he’d said. It’d been a while since he’d tried a salmon ladder—since before he was injured. Maybe that was the point, though. Maybe Caitlyn didn’t want to go with him at all.
“Forget about it.” He turned away but before he could take a step, Caitlyn sputtered, “Forget about it? What kind of attitude is that, sailor?”
“If you don’t want to go with me, just say so.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to go with you?”
He turned to face her. “Why would you want to go with a gimpy wash-up with no future ahead of him?”
She stared at him in obvious shock. “Is that how you see yourself?”
“That’s what I am.”
“What you are is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Color stained her cheeks but she went on. “Do you know how lame I feel when I compare myself to you? You’ve served your country. You got injured in the line of duty. All I’ve done is go to school and accidentally get pregnant.”
“You’ve got plenty of time to do lots of things, including be a great mother.”
“And you’ve got plenty of time to do more great things, too.”
“Like what? What can I do?”
“You’ve got a mind. You’ve got a heart. You’re still strong as shit—look at you!” She pointed to the salmon ladder. “Get to it. Show me what you’ve got.”
“Forget it.”
“Are you chicken? Is that it?”
“I’m not chicken!” She didn’t understand—
“Then get your ass in gear and do that ladder, sailor!”
Ben blinked. For a second there she sounded just like his old drill sergeant from boot camp. Despite himself a smile tugged up the corner of his mouth. “Fine.” He moved awkwardly to the base of the salmon ladder, took a deep breath and jumped up to grab the bar, knowing he had to get this right. He wanted to take Caitlyn to the dance. He wanted a hell of a lot more than that, too. She was a woman to fight for, even if it meant facing his worst fears.
He swung his legs and the motion triggered a set of reflexes his body hadn’t forgotten despite his injury. His muscles bunched and stretched and he popped the bar up to the next level, and then the next, and the next. Below him Caitlyn whooped and he couldn’t help but grin as he popped to the final level. Flush with triumph, he leaped down—
And landed on his bad ankle.
“Fuck!” Ben crashed to the ground and writhed in pain. Caitlyn dropped to her knees, horror twisting her mouth into an O.
“Are you all right? Ben!”
“Damn it. Goddamn it!” He breathed through the pain until it subsided, then flopped back flat in the dirt. “I’m fine,” he growled at Caitlyn, who still hovered above him.
“You don’t look fine.”
He covered his face with his palms. Who had he been trying to fool? He was a wash-up. A hopeless case.
“Come on, I’ll help you back to the house,” Caitlyn said.
“Just leave me alone.”
“I’m not going to—”
Ben couldn’t take it a second longer. He didn’t want Caitlyn’s help. He wanted to be man enough to help her. “I made a mistake, all right?”
“When you landed?”
“When I made it to the top!”
It took a second for comprehension to dawn on her face and when it did her pain was so obvious Ben wanted to erase his last words. She stiffened, then quickly got to her feet. “Just say so if you don’t want to go with me.” She turned and fled, leaving Ben filled with self-loathing. Hadn’t he said exactly the same thing when he thought she didn’t want him? Well, he wanted her—so much he was willing to let her go.
Caitlyn didn’t need a broken man like him.
But as he laid his head back and stared up at the sky through the dappled leaves above him, Ben wondered if he could survive without her.
“YOU LOOK STUNNING,” Mia said a half hour later when Caitlyn had changed and put on her makeup. Pink still tinged her cheeks from the exertion of doing the obstacle course, and her eyes shone with unshed tears, but that didn’t detract from the overall effect. Mia was right, she looked prettier than she had in months. Too bad she felt like she’d been hit by a Mack truck.
“Thanks.” She turned away from the mirror and went to fetch her jacket and purse.
“What happened out there?” Mia blocked her way to the door.
“Nothing.” Mia had asked the question at least five times already, but she refused to answer it. She didn’t think she could keep her composure if she did and she had a whole night ahead of her to get through.
“Tell me. Something happened.” Mia crossed her arms. “We’re not leaving until you spill it.”
Caitlyn finally gave in when she realized Mia wasn’t joking. “I met up with Ben.”
“What did he say to you?”