He gasped for breath. “You can’t leave. Everyone leaves me. Not you. I’m— It’s … Don’t. Fuck, man.”
The blood from Max’s broken nose dripped onto his T-shirt, and Carter was immediately remorseful. “I need help. It hurts.” They’d fought before, but never to the point where blood was spilled.
“I’m sorry I punched you, but—”
“No.” Max took a deep, shuddering breath. “My fucking heart hurts.” He closed his eyes. “I’m … It kills me that she’s not here.”
Carter took a tentative step toward the crumbling man, afraid to say anything.
“Every day I wake up, and she’s not there,” Max continued. “And I feel like I’m dying all over again.” The gun in his hand dropped to the floor. “My baby, my son”—he gasped—“he would be … almost two. If he was … and she … and my mom’s gone, dad’s gone, and you’re with your girl. And what do I have?” He looked around himself, helpless. “I have hangovers and nightmares that … terrify me, and I can’t sleep. The coke … keeps me awake. It makes me forget for a while, and I can finally breathe.” He gripped his hair and sobbed. “And then I remember again, and I’m suffocating without her.” He groaned. “Christ, I miss her so fucking much.”
Carter’s chest cracked wide-open. “I know.”
He’d die without his Peaches. She possessed his heart. If she walked away from him or gave it back, it would surely destroy him.
“Oh God,” Max whimpered into his forearm. “What happened to me? I thought I’d forget, but I can’t find myself. I’m so fucking lost. I mean … look at me. Make it stop, Carter. Please make it stop.”
Carter reached out and pulled him into a tight embrace as Max sobbed into his jacket. “Don’t leave me like she did. Help me,” Max begged. “You’re all I have left. Please. For Christ’s sake, help me.”
“I will,” Carter promised. “I swear I will, brother.”
EPILOGUE
A year later …
Shivering from the cold, Kat pushed the beach house door shut with her butt and trudged to the kitchen, where she heaved two sizeable grocery bags onto the counter. She pulled off her hat and gloves, unzipped her jacket, and made her way into the sitting room to find Carter slouched on the sofa, watching TV, chewing the ever-loving shit out of a toothpick.
Kat smiled, watching him. He’d given up smoking on his birthday in March, and now, nine months in, he hadn’t caved. She was incredibly proud of him.
Noticing her once the commercials came on, Carter looked up and smiled. “Hey, beautiful. How was your day?”
“Long, but great,” she replied. “The boys are really something. They’re really starting to listen to me. Look.” She held up a small silver key chain in the shape of a cat. “They gave me this for Christmas.”
She’d struggled to keep her emotions in check when her class of twelve students at the Brooklyn Young Offenders Institute had handed her the beautifully wrapped gift. “I’ll miss them this week.”
Carter placed his chin on the back of the sofa, looking insanely adorable. “You’ll have me.”
Kat leaned over and kissed him. “Aren’t I lucky?”
“Beth called,” Carter whispered against her lips. “She wanted to know if we’re still going to the benefit on New Year’s. I told her yes. That okay?”
“Definitely. How was your day? Did Max call?”
Carter’s face turned sad. “Yeah, he did.” He sighed. “It breaks my fucking heart, his being in that place at Christmas, but I know it’s where he needs to be.”
Less than twelve months after his heartbreaking confession to Carter, Max was admitted into rehab, finally conceding that he needed professional help. His solo battle against his coke addiction had been valiant but short-lived. He was clean for only seventy-three days before he caved after seeing a woman he thought was Lizzie on a busy street in Brooklyn.
Carter and the boys from the shop tried their best to steer their friend onto the right path, keeping him busy, but Max’s emotional scars ran too deep. Once Max had admitted defeat, after Carter had found him unconscious on his bathroom floor, Carter had footed the rehab center bill, also clearing the shop of the debts Max’s addiction had created.
Kat cupped Carter’s cheek as she kissed him. “Be strong. He needs you.”
Carter exhaled. “I know.”
“Hey, guess what?” Kat smiled. “I stopped at the store on the way home.”
Carter’s eyes brightened. “Did you get me something nice?”
She grinned. “Oreos, milk, and twelve cans of Coke.”
He dropped his head back onto the sofa and sighed. “God, I love you.”