“Maybe I was too. I expected you to know all the answers immediately, because I thought I did. We both had some growing up to do. You were smarter than I was about that. And I’m not involved with someone the way you think I am, although it’s very serious and very long term. Forever actually. I came to a different conclusion than you did about having babies. I decided that I want to have another child.” She looked peaceful as she said it.
He looked shocked. “When did you decide that?” She waited an eternity before she answered, while he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He looked at her, and she looked no different, except even lovelier than before, and all he wanted was to take her in his arms.
“I decided it when I found out I was pregnant with your baby, a little boy.” He looked like he’d been shot out of a cannon as he stared at her.
“Why didn’t you tell me? When did that happen?”
“In January apparently. I found out at the end of February. I thought you were with Megan, and had made your decision, so I decided not to tell you until the baby was born. I always planned to tell you then. But I didn’t want to impose on you, or intrude while I was pregnant.” He looked like he was going to cry when she said it, and he moved closer to where she sat.
“Does Salima know?” He was horrified that he had known nothing about it, and hadn’t been there for her.
“Not yet. I’ll have to tell her soon, though, probably by next month. She knows how much I love you. She’ll be okay with it. I haven’t told anyone until you right now. I decided it was a gift, and I accepted the gift. That’s what I decided in March.”
“How could you not tell me and do this all by yourself?” There was accusation in his voice as well as guilt. What if she had never told him? He would have been deprived of his son, and her.
“You didn’t need to know before he was born if you were with Megan, or whoever else. You can have visitation and see him whenever you want. He’s your son too.” As he sat next to her, he put a gentle hand on her white shirt, and felt the baby move. He looked at Blaise with tears in his eyes.
“I don’t deserve you, but I love you so much. When are you having him?”
“End of September, beginning of October. I’ll call you the minute he comes,” she promised, and Simon looked heartbroken as he sat next to her.
“Is it over for you, with us, I mean?”
“In some ways, it’s just beginning, with him. We have a lot of years ahead of us to share this child. If nothing else, we can be friends, and should be for his sake.” She was at peace about it.
“I want more than that, Blaise. I want what we had before”—he sounded determined as he said it—“even if I was an idiot and didn’t deserve you, probably still don’t, and maybe never will.” He looked at her humbly and she shook her head and smiled.
“I’m not sure I deserved you.” She smiled. “I’m too old for you, too settled in my life. I know what I want and who I am, you reminded me of that, to never forget who I am. I did forget, for a long time, with Andrew, and even with you. All I wanted was to be with you, at any price. I wanted to forget how old I was, how young you are, the difference in our ages, where we were in our lives. You left because you wanted Megan. You thought you wanted someone your own age, and you were right. You don’t need someone like me.”
“I loved her the way you loved Andrew, even though he was wrong for you. You got taken in by him. Megan fooled me. She has no integrity, no soul, no heart. You are everything I want and I’ve been looking for all my life, and I don’t give a damn how old you are. You’re young enough to be having my baby, so don’t give me that.” And with that, he took her in his arms and kissed her, and her head swam as he did. She wanted to forget all the reasons why it didn’t seem right to her anymore, but she wasn’t sure she could.
“Besides, your mother would kill you,” she said after they kissed, and he laughed.
“I don’t care what she thinks. After pretending to be so bohemian all her life, she turns out to be a lot more bourgeois than she thinks. You and I love each other. That’s all. No time. No years. No age. It worked when we were together. And now we have a baby. Blaise, give us a chance. Please. It won’t be perfect. Nothing ever is. But let’s try, for all three of our sakes, and even Salima. I didn’t even know about the baby, and I came here today to tell you how much I love you, on the off, crazy, wonderful chance that you still love me too and are nuts enough to try again.”
“I do love you,” she said, smiling at him. “I never stopped, especially once I knew about the baby.”
“Well, then?”