I sigh, but it’s loving exasperation. “Just clink already, will you?”
Our glasses come together in a brief chime of hopes and promises and another chorus of cheers. The tequila burns on its way down, but it’s warm and fortifying.
He eyes me over the glass. “You look green, and not in one of those Goblin ways.” When he purposely takes a giant step backwards, I reach out to swat him.
“It’s the tequila, you prat.”
His wide grin reforms. “Listen to you. I’ll make you an honorary Scot after all.”
The doorbell chimes, and I send a plea to the tequila in my belly to start working its magic. Because my heart has redoubled its efforts to hammer a hole straight out of my chest. And, damn Will for being right, I do feel a bit nauseated.
“I’ve got it,” Cameron calls out from the kitchen. Footsteps sound along the dark hardwood floors, and I know, just know, that I’m going to pass out and make an even bigger jackass out of myself.
“Alright. Just one more.” Another shot is shoved toward me; I gratefully down it as he follows suit.
I don’t know what to do with myself. Where to stand. Should I stand? Sit? Should I go to another room and make an entrance? Should I—
Wait. Cameron steps into the living room, and he’s sheet white. If anybody’s going to throw up right now, my money’s on him. And this does not make sense.
Will removes the shot glass from my fingers and adds it next to his on the table. I nudge his arm and whisper under my breath that something’s wrong with his dad. But before he can say anything, in walks Astrid Lotus, followed by her daughter, Callie. And then, with identical expressions that radiate uncertainty, first Jonah, then Kellan appear.
I’m pretty sure my heart bursts straight out of my chest. That handful of emotions I was feeling earlier explodes into a cacophony that I can no longer decipher. He’s here, they’re here, and—
And I still have no idea what to do. I don’t want to start straight off with another round of apologies—even though they’re absolutely deserved—because that’s all I ever seemed to say to them. But they deserve to hear the truth. It’s just, I didn’t know it’d be in front of an audience. Which is a selfish thought, because I’m in the wrong, and I’ve got to be the one to start making amends, whether in front of one of them at a time or the entirety of Annar. If they felt the need to bring along Astrid and Callie, then who am I to complain?
Still, it’s hard to really look at either man right now, not like I want to, even though the pulls toward them both are so strong it’s a miracle I’m even standing. Because there’s confusion there, and oh, gods, hurt, so much hurt and expectations, and all of a sudden, I feel even worse about myself than I did ten minutes ago when I’d only felt like the lousiest girl to ever exist.
Especially since a glance at Jonah’s hand shows no sign of his Connection ring.
Cameron motions toward the worn couch and chairs in the room and offers everyone a seat. Callie and Kellan choose to sit; Jonah remains standing, arms crossed, but he’s close to the couch. Cameron and Astrid are standing in the midway point between me and Will and her children.
Jonah’s hair is a bit longer than when I left. It irrationally bothers me that this happened and I didn’t know about it. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, too, and I ache for him, for the hell he must have gone through this last week. Our eyes lock together, and he asks a silent question that has my hands twisting together and regret surging through my bloodstream.
He asks me why I did it. And also possibly why my hair is blonde.
All I can think is: oh, sweet gods above, I love this man with everything that makes me me, and this feeling is so strong that it nearly knocks me off my feet.
I take a deep breath and a step forward at the same time, but I skid to a halt when Astrid says, “You took me by surprise. You have to admit, this would be the last place I’d ever expect to see you again.”
My eyes fly to her, my stomach sinking. She’d loved me once. Protected me. And I’d failed her just as surely as I failed everyone else when I bolted.
“Yes, well, the same could be said for you,” Cameron murmurs, and then my eyes snap straight to him. Huh?
Astrid delicately clears her throat. “How have you been, Cam? You look well.”
I turn to Will, who is now watching his father and Astrid with utter confusion. And then I look back at the man who has become my surrogate father, and the woman who became the twins’ surrogate mother.
Because they know each other. And I did not see that one coming.
“Cam? Who the fuck calls him Cam?” is what Will says. I think it’s angled at me, but as his eyes are riveted on his dad and Astrid, I can’t be sure.
They ignore him. “Good,” Cameron murmurs to Astrid, tugging at his collar. It’s his turn to clear his throat. “And you?”