“I love you.” I reach up and touch his face, too. “I’m not saying it because I expect you to say it back. I’m saying it because it’s one of my truths. When I was in Alaska, pretending to be somebody I’m not, I realized something. I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I always will. My life is crazy. I’m going to be asked to do awful, terrifying, exciting things, and sometimes it scares the crap out of me. I have two Connections, which seems impossible at times to comprehend. I’m obviously immature and don’t know how to deal with all this stuff at all times, but I’m finally trying to get a grip on everything. There are these sick and twisted creatures trying to kill me all the time, and I’m having to deal with that. But when I was working at a diner, serving pancakes, wondering what it was I wanted in my life, who I wanted to be, and where I wanted to be, I realized that one of those things was you.”
It hurts to see the skepticism in his eyes—it’s small, but still there. But I know it’s there because I put it there. And even though he must feel all this in me, sometimes emotions, even from an Emotional, aren’t rational.
“Here’s the thing. I love your brother. I do. I always will, thanks to the Connection. He’s one of my best friends. I hope he always will be. And . . .” I swallow. I have to get this right. This may be my last chance. “And the truth is, if there was no you, there’d be no doubt in my mind that I’d be with him. But there is a you.” Our feet overlap, we’re standing so close. I stare up into his eyes, so much love filling me up right now that it’s amazing I haven’t exploded in a shower of glitter and flowers. “Jonah . . . you’re more to me than just my Connection. You’re the person I’d want to be with even if there were no Connection.”
It’s out there now. I’ve said it. I want him, I’ve chosen him. There will be no more indecision. I’ll struggle with my feelings toward Kellan the rest of my life, there’s no doubt about it. But I’ve finally chosen and Jonah now knows it.
He doesn’t say anything, which makes me anxious, but I remind myself this is a lot to throw on somebody who’s still smarting from desertion. I can’t expect him to just roll over and say, “Well, okay. Let’s get married tonight.” Although, come to think of it, it’d be really great if he did.
Finally, in what I can best describe as hushed awe: “You actually mean that.”
Before I can assure him of this truth, both hands are on my face and then his lips are on mine and I am finally, after wandering for so long that I got lost, exactly where I want to be.
I am deliriously, wildly, fantastically, ecstatically, giddily in the throes of bliss due to love. I cannot even begin to hold back my joy, even when faced with a moody Will and a pair of groggy, middle-aged men who haven’t had their coffee yet early the next morning.
I’d spent a good, long time kissing Jonah last night before he walked me home. Like I’d done in high school, I’d made him promise to come over bright and early in the morning so we could have breakfast and then talk. So here I am, banging pans around as I attempt to make said breakfast, while the men I live with watch with amusement.
“For Christ’s sake, let me cook,” Will eventually says when I apparently do not crack an egg properly. “We don’t want him running away due to food poisoning or anything.”
I gratefully relinquish control so I can set the table.
“Hen, it does my heart good to see you so cheerful,” Cameron says, pressing a quick kiss against my head.
Erik grunts and pours himself a cup of coffee. “So this is why you were acting like you’d lost your mind last night. I should have figured it had to do with a boy.”
I sigh happily, thinking of my boy. He should be here in less than a half hour. “You guys don’t mind him joining us for breakfast?”
“You’ll have to do without me,” Erik says. “I’m to go to Anchorage for a couple of days to talk with colony representatives.”
“Of course we don’t mind,” Cameron assures me. “I’m quite looking forward to finally getting to know this Jonah of yours.”
“Dad, you say this like you haven’t ever met the bloke,” Will calls out.
My eyes widen; Cameron chuckles quietly. “Fair enough, son. Yes, I’ve briefly met Jonah a few times whilst visiting Astrid. And he’s been at a few of the meetings Erik and I have had with the Council concerning Métis matters. But I am looking forward to getting to know the person you’ve given your heart to, hen.”
I can’t help but give him a huge hug.
We say goodbye to Erik; minutes later, a knock on the door tells me that Jonah’s here. Cameron insists on getting it, so I wait nervously in the living room, practically bouncing on the balls of my feet until I hear Jonah’s voice in the hallway.
And then there he is. And I melt all over again.
I check the impulse to tackle him in front of Cameron and instead allow a ridiculous grin to overtake my face. It’s beautiful to see that it’s mirrored on his face, too. Good lords, do I love Jonah Whitecomb’s smiles. He’s got this adorable dimple that appears that I just want to lick.
Cameron winks at me, not doubt amused by how I’ve been rendered nearly speechless by the sight of our guest. “I think I’ll go and check on Will’s progress with the baked French toast he’s making.”
I wait until he’s gone to say, ever-so-eloquently, “Hi!”