Our hearts thrum against each other, in unison, both racing so fast, like we’re running at top speed, like they’ll burst from exertion. Can a heart do that? Literally, physically burst from racing so fast? Because when he touches me like he is, I think I’d risk anything for it.
When my cell phone rings the first time, I ignore it, because nothing is more important than this. But when it rings a second time, Kellan pulls up, breathing hard and looking confused. Me? I’m trying to tug him back down to me.
The phone rings, twice, three times. Before I can tell him to ignore it, he reaches over onto the coffee table and picks it up so he can hand it over.
I have to hunt for my voice, as he’s stolen it away.
“Chloe?” It’s Lizzie, and for the life of me, I can’t remember why I’m so pissed at her. “Are you okay? You sound . . . have you been running?”
I laugh to keep the hysteria at bay. “Can I call you back later?”
“Well, I’ve been trying to call you all evening,” she complains. “Are you avoiding me?”
I ought to just hang up on her. “Of course not,” I gasp. “I . . . uh . . . need to go, okay?”
Kellan lowers his head and nips at my neck. Pleasure ripples through me so strongly I nearly drop the phone. I can barely hear her as his mouth trails down my neck. I’m so turned on, I think I might be delirious.
“Chloe?” Lizzie calls, and I’m forced to refocus. “Are you listening? I asked you if you’ve heard from Kellan tonight.”
This I hear. “Kellan?”
He stops kissing me so he can bring his ear closer to the phone.
“Yes,” she says, irritated. “Kellan.”
“Why?” He pushes my hair out of the way, taking his time as he pulls his fingers through my long strands. There are parts of my body turning to mush that I never knew were there.
“I ran into . . . a friend of his,” she says. “This friend, uh, said that they’d had a fight, and I thought maybe I’d try to find him. You know, be a good pal and help patch things up between them.”
She means Sophie. And that just infuriates me to no end.
Kellan pulls his head away from the phone and brushes his mouth against my other ear. “Hang up.”
So I do. It’s utterly childish, but I hang up on Lizzie. Kellan takes the phone from me, turns it off, and tosses it on the chair across from the couch. Then he looks at me, like I’m the most important thing in his universe, and there is no more room for anger. Not here, not between us, not when we’re finally together.
His hand runs lightly down my side, and I shiver. “Should I stop?” he asks, voice low and husky.
Should he? More like, should we. And the right answer is yes.
But, he’s mine. All mine. I love him, and he loves me. He wants me just as much as I want him. We’re Connected, and I’ve fought so long against what I really have no control over. I just don’t know if I have it in me to fight this any further, at least tonight. And as crazy as it is to think, I know my feelings for Kellan in no way diminish what I feel towards Jonah.
It’s completely screwed up, but it’s the truth.
I don’t answer him. Instead, we kiss until I almost can’t breathe anymore. Even now, I can’t stop. It’s nearly impossible to do anything but kiss him, taste him, feel him.
He surges into my mind, and I know why. He wants to make sure that I’m not seeing this, him as a mistake. He’s probably worrying that I’m doing this just to make him happy. It’s frustrating, because he’s got to have figured out that I need him, want him so much that I’ve been going insane. So, I let him see it all, see that I have no doubts.
Once he does, he attempts to slide back out of my mind, but I shake my head just the slightest bit enough that he hesitates, confused. And I don’t know why, but I choose to try to surge into his mind, too.
The first time we’d attempted this, over a year ago, we’d failed. My mind hadn’t been able to penetrate his, even though I tried several times. But that was before today. I pull at him, insisting he come closer. He doesn’t resist at all, his knee between my legs, his chest pressed against mine. And then the unthinkable happens.
Our minds merge.
Kellan is asleep behind me, his arms wrapped tightly around my chest. His breath is steady and deep against the back of my neck, a reassuring presence. I’ve only just woken up, and despite the lack of sleep, I’m not confused by what’s happened at all.
This is Kellan behind me. Not Jonah.
I’m not confused by any means. I am, instead, stunned. Because now, in the daylight, I’m fully aware of what’s happened between us.
We did not have sex, but we came perilously close. To top it off, our minds and souls had merged.