But the point is, Kellan’s deadline to join the Guard early came and went without his presence. And while I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring that extra Connection’s existence, it’s fundamentally impossible for me to pretend my fiancé’s twin brother doesn’t exist, especially when the calls pour in asking Jonah where Kellan is. This led to me panicking—outside of Jonah’s presence, because hello, he would have been in on that feeling like a heat-seeking missile—and making efforts to uncover where he was myself without letting anyone know I was actually interested.
First stop, Moira Graystone, Karl’s beautiful wife and mother to my goddaughter. We’re at a park, just us girls, when I casually ask, “Are you back to work yet?”
As Emily’s too young to actually enjoy any of the play equipment, we’re hanging out with her on a blanket. Moira hands a toy over. “Just one mission so far.”
A sad look crosses her face. She’s a good mom, devoted to her adorable daughter, and hates being away from Emily for more than ten minutes at a time. “Must make it nice that you have such good friends to lean on in the Guard.”
“Oh, definitely.” Emily lets out a loud coo, grabbing her mom’s attention.
I try again. “How are things with the Guard? Everything okay there?”
She picks Emily up and blows raspberries on her tummy. “Runs like clockwork. Sometimes I wonder if they even miss me when I’m gone.”
Perfect lead-in. But just as I’m about to ask about Kellan’s absence, her cell phone rings; ironically, it’s the Guard, and before I know it, she’s off, leaving Emily and me to finish our playdate alone.
Since striking out with Moira, I’ve resorted to eavesdropping. As luck would have it, Karl is over, questioning Jonah about just the thing I want to know. I’m far enough away that I can’t feel the pull towards him; hopefully he can’t sense my emotions at such a distance, either.
“If you know something, you need to tell us,” Karl is saying. They’re in Jonah’s apartment, and I am in my bedroom on the other side of mine, so despite the wide-open wall between the two, their words are soft and hard to grasp. I have to fight to hold onto them.
I slide down and sit to the side of my open bedroom door. A small listening device complete with headphones materializes in my hands. It’s wrong, I know it’s wrong, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just need to know Kellan’s okay. And there’s no way I’m asking Jonah outright. I think he’s still hurt from what may or may not have happened between Kellan and I last spring. Jonah and I had, well, not broken up, and not really fought, per se, but we’d been in a bad place after I’d caught him kissing his ex-girlfriend (which he maintains was a goodbye kiss). And by bad place, I mean I’d basically fallen apart like some nutjob whack-a-doodle and ended up leaning heavily on Kellan after running away to Annar. Kellan and I found ourselves in bed together after drinking heavily at a Guard party, and while I can’t say for sure nothing serious happened between us, neither of us could verify it.
“Tell me,” Jonah is saying, “are you here as his friend or as an official Guard representative?”
“What if I say both?”
There is a protracted silence, which prompts me to peek around the corner. Unfortunately, neither guy is within eyeshot of the doorway I’d created between our apartments.
Jonah finally says, “I happen to know Kellan’s faithfully checked in with Guard brass once a week, as agreed upon. He’s completed every mission he’s been assigned in the field and sent back paperwork on time. So far, I don’t see what the problem is.”
“Jens wants him back in Annar.”
Jens Belladonna. The head of the Guard. We’ve yet to meet, although I’ve heard plenty of stories about him so far. Apparently, he’s a ballbuster.
“Then Jens can tell him that during one of their assigned talks. I’m not my brother’s keeper, you know.” Jonah is clearly annoyed.
“I don’t want to overstep my place—”
“Then don’t,” Jonah counters.
But Karl keeps on going. “But I think it’s time Kellan came back, too. He hasn’t done himself any favors by staying away so long. No Guard has ever done that before. And Jens’ patience is wearing thin, despite Zthane’s influence. Being a second tier Council member’s twin brother can only carry Kellan so far.”
I can only imagine the look Jonah is giving Karl right now.
“I’ve tried to call him a number of times,” Karl continues, “but I only ever get voicemail. And Callie is no help—”
Whoa, now. Say what?
“Since she’s ignoring my calls, too. The only time anyone hears from him is during the allotted weekly checkins. Just where in the hell are they? Truth is, I’m worried about him.”
“Don’t be. He’s fine. They both are.”
Wait . . . is Jonah admitting he’s been talking to Callie? The light bulb in a nearby lamp pops; tiny bits of thin glass rain down against my dresser. I force myself to take a couple of deep breaths before zapping the pieces to oblivion.
It’s downright humiliating how my powers are wonky when my emotions are overwhelmed.