Does Jonah know he’s back? Why didn’t I know? I shoot Karl a look that translates to: You didn’t tell me?
“You know Kellan,” Karl says, carefully avoiding my unspoken question. “Dude’s never okay with sitting on his thumbs, not when he can be out working.”
Zthane scribbles a few notes, signs his name, and slips the paper back into the folder. Then, with bemused annoyance, “I wish he’d stay put for a spell. I’ve missed him.”
Zthane is Kellan’s mentor, even though Zthane is only in his early thirties. I’ve been told that while the Goblin can be a hard-ass with others, he’s got a soft spot for Jonah’s twin. Apparently, nobody ever warned the Guard that blatant favoritism is a bad thing.
I wait until Zthane is gone before pouncing on Karl. “He’s back? Since when?”
An eyebrow quirks up at the same time as Karl folds his arms across one another. “A couple of weeks now.”
Kellan has been here, in Annar, for a couple of weeks, and nobody thought to tell me? I am irrationally angry with everyone I know. “Does he know he’s going on this mission with me?” Before Karl can answer, I add, “You know he’s not talking to me, right?”
“I know,” Karl says. His patience with me is legendary. “And yes, he knows.”
“He’s okay with the assignment?” I’m foolishly hopeful, which is stupid.
“He had orders, Chloe. It wasn’t like he could say no.”
My heart drops straight to the floor, even though I tell it it shouldn’t.
That night, Jonah takes me out to dinner. We’re sitting outside at one of our favorite cafés, and the stars, so bright in the sky, compete with thousands of twinkle lights lining the umbrellas over our tables. I wait and wait for him to say something about his brother, but he doesn’t. He tells me about some committee he was asked to join, just this day, and of how the first meeting was infinitely more interesting than our standard Council sessions. He tells me about this great jogging trail he discovered in the Central Park-like park near the University, where the trees are like any other plane’s except apparently the Elvin and make a nice place to hang out in while still in the city. He tells me about this paper he’s supposed to write, where he’s to look into the importance in finding the exact moments to implement either anti-war sentiments into communities or dissonance best suited for uprisings. Through all these things, I listen with a smile on my face, but I only hear one thing.
I hear the absence of what I really want to know.
Why hasn’t he told me? I realize that we haven’t spoken of his brother in months, but that doesn’t seem like a good enough excuse for Jonah not telling me.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Jonah asks, snapping my focus back to attention. He taps my forehead, a grin tempered with a fair share of questioning. Of course he senses my distraction.
Have I mentioned it can royally suck to have a boyfriend who is an Emotional?
My best line of attack is the truth. “I’m thinking about my upcoming mission. You know, the portal on the Elvin plane in some desert forest?”
His hand retreats as he drops back in his chair. Then, without missing a beat, “He asked me not to tell you he was back.”
I blink at this abruptness.
Jonah’s gaze is steady. He waits for me to say something. And a million words swirl around my head, ones that range from one end of my spectrum to the other, but in the end, I am the one to look away. And my words remain unsaid.
I do my best to make no eye contact, to pretend Kellan is nothing more than another random Guard assigned to me with a carefully constructed veil of indifference towards everything he does. Only, in my efforts to make myself as aloof as possible, even though I know he knows better, I end up interacting with the other three Guard more than I normally would, babbling like a shut-in suddenly freed. It’s truly a grotesque and petty I’ll show you what you’ve been missing, and I’m well aware of it.
Of course, if this bothers Kellan in the slightest, he doesn’t have the grace to show it. He is also at ease with everyone, but then, they’re his coworkers, part of his niche in Magical society. And that reminds me of how I’m the outsider in this group of five. They aren’t here to build a portal. They’re here to guard the Creator who’ll build a portal.
I’ll show you, indeed. If anyone is showing anybody anything, it’s Kellan who is letting me know, loud and clear, that he’s the indifferent one. And that burns.
“So, Chloe,” one of the Guard says to me. I turn to find a lanky Elf a few feet back. Other than Kellan and me, they’re all Elves. “Do you mind if I ask some questions about your craft?”