I should not care about this. Why can’t I stop caring about this?
Sophie talks some more about this party tonight, which, frankly, I haven’t even heard of until now, and whom she expects to see. She doesn’t notice that I’m not saying anything, how I’m still hiding behind the menu, or that Kellan is answering in small, noncommittal ways that indicate he’s grossly uncomfortable.
I know this about him. Does she?
Is this a first date? I wrack my brain for what Jonah’s told me. Kellan has a lot of first dates. Occasionally there are second dates and, very, very rarely, there may be a third. There are never fourth dates. And, mostly, there are no dates at all. There are just hook-ups, which Jonah disapproves of.
It’s almost laughable that Jonah and I have no sex yet are in a committed relationship and Kellan has way too much without any relationships at all.
I should not be thinking about Kellan having sex. Not if I want the restaurant to remain in one piece.
“Ma’am?” The waiter is standing over me, pad and pen in hand.
There is silence at the table while everyone waits for me to order. I feel like eating less right now than I did two hours earlier, and then I’d only been not hungry. Now the threat of food is enough to make my stomach churn. Plus, my head is pounding. So I order the simplest thing on the menu—a house salad with no dressing. Iceberg lettuce is mostly water, right?
The waiter tugs the menu out of my hand and I reluctantly let it go, bitter to lose my shield. I try not to cringe under the weight of Sophie’s stare.
“So!” she says. “You and Jonah, huh?”
I nod, shifting my fork and knife around.
“That’s great,” she coos. “He’s a looker, that one.” She nudges Kellan and laughs. “But this one’s cuter. When’s the wedding?”
Jonah and I never, ever discuss the wedding within earshot of Kellan. This one question multiples the uncomfortable factor of this little tête-à-tête, complete with a third wheel, by a thousand. “Um, about two months?”
“Oh, I love weddings. I can hardly wait!” Sophie turns to Kellan. “You must be so excited.”
He doesn’t even bother to make a noncommittal sound this time.
She’s just begun to ask me where the wedding will take place when Kellan’s phone rings. He pulls it out and apologizes, then moves away from the table to answer it.
Once he’s out of earshot, Sophie leans closer and says, “He’s the best, isn’t he?”
The cheerleader smile stretches as far as it can go when I nod.
“Being engaged to his brother and all, you must know Kellan well.”
I force myself to perform just as well as I used to during a football game. I exude confidence and happiness when there is none to be found. “Yes, we are . . .” Connected. Star-crossed. Hopeless. “Extremely close.”
A dreamy look consumes her. “I have never fallen so hard in love with anyone before. It’s been crazy these last few months. Insane. It’s almost embarrassing how in love I am with him.”
MONTHS?
Caleb snaps to attention in my mind. Whoa, Chloe, calm down right now—
Months, not one date, not two, not three, but whole frigging months of dates when Kellan doesn’t date? He loves me, I’m his Connection, OHMYGODS what—
China and glass rattle all around me. Caleb forces me to count to ten, then twenty, willing me to calm down before I do something I’ll regret.
And still, Sophie isn’t done with me yet. “We’d been friends for awhile, you know. Which is a nice way to start, even though . . .” She giggles. “I’ll tell you a secret. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. I had to have him, was relentless in pursuing him. I knew he and I were meant to be.”
She puts a hand on me, her horrible, beautiful hand that’s touched him, and Caleb barks at me not to start screaming or destroy anything.
“I’ve tried to get him to set up a double date with you guys, so we can get to know each other. Think of the fun the four of us could have.”
Leave, Caleb yells, leave now, for the love of all that’s good in the worlds . . . JUST LEAVE.
But she’s still talking, still touching me. How does she not see that the table is close to blowing sky high? “I really want to get to know the people who mean the most to Kellan. I figure, if we’re going to make a go of this, a serious one like we both want, we should share things like that. I mean, we’ll be sisters someday.”
SHE DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK SHE SAID.
I stand up, throwing out wild excuses as why to leave at the moment. My phone is ringing, even though it’s clear that it’s not. I have an appointment. I have somewhere to be. And then I spot Maccon Lightningriver across the street and yell his name as loud as I can.
Sophie stares up at me like I’m the lunatic I’m acting like.