But Cora cares, because the pain in my stomach subsides until grief is the only thing aching in my body. “You should’ve come to me.” She sighs. “I didn’t tell him where you are. Truth be told, he’s probably putting a hit out on me as we speak.” She laughs, and it vibrates through my body, like an alien emotion. “You should talk to him, though.”
I will. I’ll fight for him, with everything I have, but I can’t do it at the moment. Despite how I’ve been acting lately, sometimes, a girl just needs to cry. Preferably not while hugging a toilet, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“It’s funny,” she muses, hand warm as it forms smooth circles on my back, “but I’d come to think you were made of steel nowadays. You always seem so in control.”
What a joke. I am the least in control person alive.
“It’s like, after the last argument the two of you had, you suddenly got a lot older than the rest of us. I mean, you go on all these super important missions. You’re on the Council. You’re always smiling. You come across to me as somebody on top of the worlds.”
She’s kidding, right? Do I really hide all of this so well?
“It’s nice to see you’re Human after all.” She laughs again. “Well, not exactly Human. You know what I mean.”
I turn away from the toilet and fall into her arms and cry some more. I tell her I’m weak, that I wish I could get a handle on my feelings, but sometimes, it’s just too damn hard.
“You’re not weak. Why does everyone think that girls who cry are weak? That’s the biggest load of bullshit out there. We need to stop pretending that people who show emotions are weak. You can kick ass and cry. I’m just saying.”
I follow her advice. I cry. And cry some more. And when it dries up, I follow her out to the living room and curl up on the couch, my head in her lap, until I fall asleep.
If Cora’s cellphone ringing didn’t wake me up, her arguing with the person on the other line sure does.
“What is it with you two? Kellan, if I’m not going to talk to Jonah, I sure as hell won’t tell you where Chloe—”
I yank the phone out of her hands. “Hello?”
“Chloe?” Kellan sounds anxious. “What’s going on? Where are you?”
Cora is staring at me like I’ve lost my head. I have, because my resolve not to pull Kellan into this crumbled faster than muffin toppings. “With Cora.”
Something on his ends smacks against the phone. Probably his forehead. “Let me be more specific. Where exactly are you and Cora at this very moment?”
“It doesn’t mat—”
“It matters to me.”
Even though I know she’s annoyed at me, Cora strokes my hair softly. “I just wanted you to know that I’m okay, and that I’m sorry I didn’t call you yesterday.”
“But—”
“I left my purse behind,” I continue as steadily as I can.
“You could have called me. Collect. Which, if I’m not mistaken, is what you did with Cora. Or made yourself a goddamn phone and then called me. Why would you call her when you know you could’ve come to me?”
I shy away from Cora’s piercing gaze. “You know why.”
“I don’t care,” he says.
“I do. I won’t do that to you again.”
“Chloe. Let me come and get you right now. I’m not sure exactly what happened, because my brother, being the uninformative dumb-ass he can be, hasn’t given me any indication of what really went down, but . . . just let me come and get you.”
Repeated attempts at swallowing doesn’t get rid of the lump in my throat. How do I tell Kellan that I’m falling apart because his brother just called off our wedding? I can’t do that to him. I won’t. “No.”
“Then at least tell me where you are, so I can be sure you’re okay.”
“Cora’s here.”
“That doesn’t reassure me in the slightest. Please. Tell me.”
“Is he there, with you?”
“No, although I expect him in a few minutes. Tell me, C.”
Against my better judgment, I admit, “Hawaii.”
“Are you at the house?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
There’s a whoosh of relief. “Okay, well, at least I know you’re somewhere safe.” And then, after a pause, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“Wait,” I say, startled, but the dial tone tells me he’s already gone.
“Are you nuts?” Cora demands, snatching the phone out of my hand. “Did you not learn anything in the last Jonah-Chloe Misunderstanding? Rule number two! Thou shall not run to Kellan. Right behind: Thou shall talk to one another immediately to clear up any misunderstandings before Chloe can run to Kellan.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I leap off the couch. “I’m so sick of you always judging him! What is your problem?”
“He’s not your Connection, Chloe,” Cora yells, standing up, too.
I want to tear my hair out. “The hell he isn’t!”
Her eyes are wide as saucers. “What?”
I am mortified for allowing myself to lose control like this in front of Cora.
“Did you just say that he’s your Connection?”
“I can’t deal with this right now.” My stomach churns; I race to the bathroom.
Cora is nothing if not pugnacious. She barges through the door and stands over me, arms crossed.