If you won’t go home, for the gods’ sakes, go to Kellan. Please.
It shocks me Caleb even suggests this. But, it cost Kellan too much when I went to him the last time Jonah broke my heart.
I love Kellan too much to drag him under with me.
Then let me come to you.
I don’t let him. I don’t want anyone around me right now. So I let the darkness take me away from Jonah, away from his rejection, and away from the blinding pain in my stomach.
“Where are you?!”
Cora’s never been the most sympathetic person, and I’m beginning to doubt the wisdom in calling her. But I figured I needed to call someone to let them know I was okay. And to also let them know not to come looking.
“It doesn’t really matter.” Even to me, my voice is hollow. “I just wanted you to know I’m safe.”
“Do you know how frantic Jonah is right now? He and Kellan have been looking for you ever since you disappeared yesterday!”
I lean against the glass walls of the phone booth. I’d resorted to calling her collect, considering my lack of money. Also, phone booths are disgusting. I’ll have to shower, because I’m pretty sure there’s at least thirty years’ worth of dirt caking the phone. Furthermore, I’m a moron for not making myself a phone, but I’m afraid I’m not firing on all cylinders at the moment. Breakups will do that to you. “I’m not ready to come back.”
“What the hell, Chloe? You think you can just up and disappear on everybody?”
I double over as a spasm rocks me. “Excuse me for not taking Jonah’s dumping of me well!”
There’s an awful silence before she hisses, “What?”
I swallow back a surge of bile. “He broke up with me, Cora.” I flat out begin to sob. “He called off the wedding.”
“SHUT UP.”
Somebody walking by stares. I probably would, too. I’m nearly hysterical, stuck in a booth when normal people use cellphones in private to break down with.
“Chloe!” Cora has to yell to overcome my sobs. “I just don’t understand. He’s out of his mind, not being able to find you! Why would he be like that if he dumped you?”
Because he’s a good guy. Because, even if he’s done with me and all the shit I bring, he’ll probably try to make things right first.
“Sonofabitch,” she bites out, and I wince, because Cora is normally not the prolific cusser. But here she is, cussing up a storm. “He conveniently left that part out when talking to me! Okay, well—screw him! Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you. Don’t argue. Let me help you through this.”
Maybe I’m weak, but, contradiction I am, I could really use a shoulder right now to physically cry on. I finally tell her what she wants to know.
Cora’s been in Kauai for a little over fifteen minutes when her cell phone rings. She shows me the screen after she pulls it out. “I can tell him to go to hell.”
I squeeze my knees up against my chest. “No. Just . . . just tell him I’m fine and not to worry. He doesn’t have to worry about me anymore.” I choke back a sob. I don’t know if I can do this. How I can make it through the next minute, let alone my life without him.
She isn’t polite when she answers the phone, and for once, I’m glad I can’t hear his voice on the other side. All I have to go with is Cora’s side of the conversation.
“So, Jonah. Wanna tell me what you and Chloe were talking about right before she left?” And I want to laugh, in a sick, sad way, because she’s gesturing and nodding like he can see her.
There’s a long pause, enough of one to make my stomach constrict.
“DIDN’T YOU THINK BREAKING UP WITH HER WOULD MAYBE UPSET HER?”
Must. Find. Toilet. Now.
I lose yesterday’s lunch all over again the moment I drop to my knees in the bathroom. Cora follows me in minutes later. She sinks to the floor next to me. “Babe, Jonah is saying he didn’t break up with you.”
I lean my head against the cool porcelain. My forehead is clammy, which makes the situation all the more disgusting. “He . . . he said we had to cancel the wedding. Said it was for the best.”
She rubs my back. “I’ll be honest. He acted like he had no idea what I was talking about.”
Which is even worse than I thought. He’s probably so repulsed by me right now that he can’t even pretend he cares about me with people right now. Just the thought of him hating me leads to bawling.
Cora leans her head against my shoulder blades, her hand still gentle at my back. “Why didn’t you tell me about this ulcer?”
Who cares about the ulcer? That’s nothing compared to losing someone you love.