A Hard Man to Love

“After you had already—” She broke off midsentence. The memory of how he’d taken her flashed through her mind.

He’d shown up unannounced to her apartment late one night after he’d already told her he couldn’t come to town. She’d been excited by his unexpected visit, and he’d been edgy and extra amorous. In their haste, they’d been careless. They discussed the fact they hadn’t used a condom, and she bared her soul and told him she couldn’t get pregnant.

To her surprise, he hadn’t expressed any concern over her infertility. But then, why would he, when there was never the expectation of a future together?

“You showed up at my apartment without notice and practically tore my clothes off,” Eva said.

“I didn’t hear you complaining when it happened. Are you saying you didn’t like it?” he asked, his tone soft and gravelly, spreading unwelcome warmth through every limb.

“I’m saying you didn’t use a condom,” Eva replied in a firm voice. “No matter what I said afterward, you have to at least accept partial blame.”

The waitress appeared beside their table and provided a temporary reprieve from the intense conversation. “Ma’am, would you like to order from the menu, or will you have the buffet this morning?” She topped off Derrick’s coffee.

Grateful for the interruption, Eva shook her head. “I won’t be eating, thank you.”

“Have you had any breakfast?” Derrick asked sharply.

“No, but I’m fine.”

“You should have something. You’re eating for two now.”

As if she didn’t know. “I’m fine.”

“At least have a drink—coffee or tea. What do pregnant women drink?”

To quiet him, she turned to the waitress. “I’ll have a glass of milk.”

“Anything else?” the woman asked.

Eva shook her head.




Derrick sipped his coffee. “I guess we both got carried away that night,” he said, replacing the cup in the saucer.

He remembered the night and the days afterward well. It was the last time she let him touch her. Here he sat only feet away and was still denied the luxury. He had set the rules for their relationship. They were the same ones he had lived by for years, yet it had driven him crazy to think she was spending time with someone else when he wasn’t around. A completely irrational response he couldn’t comprehend to this day.

“Considering we’re no longer together,” Eva began slowly, “what kind of marriage will we have?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, um . . . will the relationship dynamics still be the same?” She asked the question with difficulty, seeming ill at ease.

Derrick stiffened. She couldn’t be asking what he thought. “You mean, will I allow another man to touch my wife and the mother of my child? Will I allow my wife to have sex with other men?” Tension coursed through his body as he practically snarled the questions in his fury. “What do you think?”

Her eyes grew wide in her face. “I didn’t mean me. I was talking about you. I assumed . . .”

His eyebrows dipped low over his eyes. “Assumed what? I would want to have sex with other women after we’re married?”

“I-I wasn’t sure. We had an open relationship. I don’t know what your expectations are, Derrick.”

“My expectations,” he said, underlining the words in an acerbic tone, “are that we both respect the covenant of our marriage once we say our vows. Marriage isn’t something to enter into lightly, where you get to change your mind after a couple of years, or sleep with other people when you’re in the mood to try something different.”

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