He walked out before she could ask him to go. When the door closed behind him, Hailey stood there, wondering how the hell everything had changed. She didn’t realize she was crying until the tears fell to her chest, rolling along her skin. She continued to stand there, frozen. What had she said to him? That she’d rather hurt than not try? Well, you tried.
Lowering herself to the corner of the couch, she tucked her knees up so she could wrap her arms around them. She squeezed tighter, trying to lessen the impact, but there was no way. There was no way not to feel every word he’d said, the look in his eyes and the realization that not only could he not love her back, if given the choice, he wouldn’t.
Was this better? Feeling this way? Like her heart was paper being torn apart, every shred landing in a discarded pile on the floor? She felt like she was watching herself from outside her body. Through the trembling and the tears, she knew, deep down, on some level, that she’d be okay. But she’d never be the same.
40
Hailey grinned at the customer until her cheeks ached. “Thanks for coming in.” She started cleaning the counter as Leo came back from his break.
“Hey. I’m going to head out to do the deliveries,” he said.
Turning her head, she nodded. “Great. Can you make sure to drop the envelope I tucked in the box with Rob at the gym? He wants to expand his order.”
Leo nodded, hung up his apron. “You bet. You okay, Miss Hailey?”
Pushing her smile back in place, she looked at him. “I’m fine, why?”
“I just … I don’t know, you seem different.” He shrugged.
Different? Like what? Like someone had plucked her heart out of her chest and she was now operating at a deficiency? She pictured one of Wes’s games where every time she lost, one little red heart disappeared. She nearly laughed at her own thoughts.
“Nope. I’m good. Thanks for doing the deliveries.”
He stared at her a moment longer then left through the kitchen. She was dicing cucumber when Tara walked through the door. She’d purposefully avoided Piper’s and Fiona’s texts because she was no longer in a place in her life where she was going to let a little thing like having her heart obliterated derail her goals.
She was fine.
“Hey, Tara. How’s it going?”
Tara’s brown curls framed her round face. Hailey had slight eyelash envy and considered asking where she got them done.
“Hi. I’m good. How are you?” She had a paper in her hand.
Hailey came around the counter, leaving the veggies, wiping her hands on her apron. “I’m good. Things are busy. What’s that?” She gestured to the paper.
“Esther had the idea to do a newsletter for the shops. We thought it would be a good way to do specials, share upcoming promotions, and get the word out. I wanted to show you and get some ideas of what you’d like to add.”
Taking the paper, she looked over the layout, saw the examples others had put for their shops. Two for One Tuesday was advertised at several of the shops.
“This is really great. It’s a wonderful idea. You could put these flyers somewhere like Rob’s gym or other high-volume places.”
Tara nodded. “That’s a great idea. Do you want in on the Tuesday specials?”
Hailey wiped her hands on her apron again. “Actually, do you have a minute? I wanted to ask you about something.”
Tara regarded her with an easy smile. “Of course.”
They sat at one of the tables, Hailey gripping the apron in her fingers. “I’ve been thinking about a food truck. I wanted your opinion. I hope it’s okay to ask.” She took a deep breath. “I admire you and love what you’ve done with your business. Esther told me when you started, you only had three signature desserts and coffee.” Hailey wanted to build and grow. But maybe here wasn’t her place.
Tara smiled as if happy memories were filtering through her head. “It’s been a few years now. Yeah, those first couple years, when more of the shops were empty, it was tough. But three desserts turned to four, then six. I hired a woman named Maddie who owns her own business now. She knew how to make fancy drinks so that got added to the menu. I think a food truck is an amazing addition but I would caution you against too much too fast. When I started, I wanted to add a full menu but a friend suggested I start small. Make them want more.”
Hailey let go of her apron, put her hands on the table. “Oh. No. I meant a food truck instead.”
Tara didn’t bother trying to hide the surprise. “Oh.” She frowned. “Why? Things are going so well.” She leaned in, folded her arms.
Hailey did her best to sound like she was reciting the specials, that the words didn’t affect her. Didn’t drag across the spot where her heart had been with sharp little nails. “They are. I’m not sure if you know but Wes’s mother is the new owner. He encouraged her to buy the place. I don’t know … at first I was mad he wanted to swoop in and save me. It turned out to be more than that. Not all about me.” She let out a bitter laugh. “But I don’t know if I can stay. Not with.” Tears threatened and she looked toward the ceiling. “It’s just too close, you know?”
“Wait, I thought you and Wes were doing great. You’re so good together.” Tara leaned forward, covered Hailey’s hand.
Her words felt like a sucker punch. They were good together. Tara was in his circle, not hers. Asking a business-related question was one thing—that took enough nerve on its own. She was not falling apart in front of Tara. “We broke up. Which is fine but, as I’m sure you can guess, makes things more awkward. I’m just looking at other opportunities.”
Tara squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know him as well as Chris but he’s a good man and I haven’t ever seen him smile the way he does with you.”
Hailey tried to swallow repeatedly like she would on an airplane. “We want different things.” She was so proud that her voice didn’t crack. “He’s a wonderful man. I hope he finds what he’s looking for.” There. Take that back to Wes. She was cool, calm, and collected.
Compassion shone in Tara’s gaze, making the lump in Hailey’s throat grow.
“Sometimes people have what they didn’t realize they wanted right in front of them. They just need help opening their eyes.”
Hailey pasted on a smile. “I doubt he sees it that way.” Or that he ever would. He was too convinced love wasn’t for him.
Tara leaned in again. “Sweetie, I was talking about you.”
“What?” Her voice cracked, she covered it with a cough.
“You came here so full of dreams about your shop being successful. You started from scratch, you’re doing fantastic. Why would you walk away from that? You need to focus on what you can control, Hailey.” Ha. Wes would like that advice. Why can’t you control this ache?
“I don’t want to be indebted to anyone.” She didn’t ever want to feel like she owed anyone anything or that she hadn’t earned what she’d gained. She’d basically been on her own since her early teens, learning not to rely even on the people closest because they didn’t have the time or inclination. It made her strong. Strong enough to face this. But are you facing it if you run?
“What makes you indebted? You haven’t even met Wes’s mom. Am I indebted to her as well? Is she doing us a favor?” Tara pointed to the roof. “At the moment, that favor is giving me a headache.”
Hailey tried to think of how to explain herself. “Of course you don’t owe her. Wes didn’t feel compelled to make sure your rent wasn’t an issue.”
Tara shook her head, clearly not understanding. “Listen, if he wanted to, I’d be fine with that. But that’s me. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do this on your own. You are. But it’s human nature to want to help the people you care about. Those Jansen boys walked away from the power money brings to show that they understood their ability to make a difference. To do things, be part of things they care about. Things that matter. I’m guessing that Wes wouldn’t put his mother in a situation that didn’t benefit her.”
“Well, no.” He might not love Hailey but she was sure he loved his mother.
“They’re estranged from their father. I’m guessing the compassionate, amazing pieces of their personality are in some way directly connected to their mom or just their close relationship with each other.”
Hailey realized she’d probably get to meet the woman, but not how she’d hoped.
“I’m sure she’s lovely.”
Tara nodded. “And smart.”
“Of course.”
“Smart enough not to do something just because one of her sons likes you.”
Something painful stabbed Hailey’s chest. She nodded. “Liked. Not loved.”
Tara made a nurturing sound that must have been the secret code to all of Hailey’s emotions because they unraveled in an instant. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain it, to stop it, but the sob escaped.