Wes let out something close to a growl, dropped his hands, and stepped up to his brother. Chris came between them immediately, a hand on each chest.
Wes stepped back, an unrecognizable feeling settling heavy inside of him. “What the hell is wrong with you two?” He didn’t mean to yell but everything felt hazy, like he was reaching for something just out of his grasp. “I’ve been here for both of you for everything. Now, when I’m struggling, trying to figure shit out, you give me a hard time?”
Noah’s chest deflated. He clapped Wes on the back. “We just want you to be happy, bro. You keep getting in your own way and messing that up.”
Wes stared at the space where Hailey had been. “How do you two do this?”
Chris stepped beside him. “Do what?”
His chest was hollow. “Feel so much.”
Noah flanked his other side, all three of them staring at the seat. “I’d like to say you get used to it but I don’t know if you do. Maybe just lean into it?”
Wes breathed in through his nose, filling his lungs, breathing out slowly. He’d fooled himself all these years that it was an active choice not to fall for a woman. His brothers told him it wasn’t something he could control once he met the right woman. He hadn’t believed them. Now, no matter what choice he made, he could end up alone and heartbroken. Worse, he could hurt Hailey. There wasn’t even anything he could have done differently. Once he’d let Hailey into his life, his heart took over. He could deny it, fight it, but really, he had no control over anything.
39
Hailey ignored Wes’s texts and calls. She wasn’t sure how to make herself calm down. She tried deep breaths, staring at the ceiling, a glass of wine, music. Nothing worked. Her skin didn’t feel right. Nothing did. She knew she was proud—knew it was because she was so scared to really rely on someone and trust their feelings. Trust that they wouldn’t leave or let her down.
In the end, she went to the beach. It was California, after all. Not bothering with anything other than her phone, with her ID tucked in the case, she drove to the nearest one, parked, and settled herself on the sand to stare at the water.
The last several years had been an exercise in figuring out not only who she was but also who she wasn’t. She didn’t want to push Wes away simply because he wanted good things for her. She scooped up a handful of sand, let it fall through her fingers, frustrated with herself. Dorian hadn’t given enough. Wes was giving too much. Was she just hard to please? No. Because underneath both relationships, what she wanted was the same: She wanted to be seen. Accepted. And loved anyway.
The waves rolled in a mesmerizing rhythm. Seagulls dove in the distance. A few people, farther down, were splashing in the surf but this late in the day, it was quiet. God, it’d been a long day. After about an hour, no further into solving her own problems than she’d been earlier, she got up, dusted her clothes off to head for her vehicle.
On the way, she passed a food truck and her stomach growled. Waiting in the line, she chatted with the guy for a couple minutes while he made her two fish tacos.
“By the Cup? I was there a couple weeks ago. That’s a great shop you’ve got,” he said. He’d wrapped a green bandana around his head to hold his hair out of his face.
“Thank you,” she said. It was the first thing in hours that had made her smile. “It’s going really well.”
“Rent can be steep. You ever get tired of being locked into one place, I’ve got a buddy who helped me get my truck up and running.” The guy passed her a card.
She stared at it a moment, then looked back up at the guy—Chase. “Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”
He laughed like her comment was funny. “No problem. I mean it.”
She started to walk away but turned back. “Why?”
He’d picked up a cloth but his hand froze in midair. “What?”
Hailey stepped back toward the truck. “Why would you help me? You don’t know me.”
Chase laughed, the creases around his eyes deepening. He set the cloth down, leaned on his forearms. “Why not? Your salads are good. People like variety. Trucks have a lot of benefits.”
“But why help a stranger?”
He stared at her a minute, tilted his head to the side. One of his dark, curly locks tumbled over the bandana. “When we stop looking out for each other, the world gets scary.”
She nodded, smiled at him, and thanked him again. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t ever rely on anyone again but that wasn’t the way life worked. The whole way home, she thought about that, about Wes wanting to help her only to have her push him away. Sure, he’d gone overboard, but it wasn’t just for her. It was for his mom, his brothers, himself. She might have been a deciding factor but if they were going to share a life together, they should be factors in each other’s decisions. But he’d never hid who he was. If she wanted to be accepted, she needed to do the same. The truth was, she’d do anything for him. So why didn’t she trust that his interests were for the same reason as hers?
Feeling exhausted, she didn’t phone him or text when she went home. She’d talk to him in the morning, say sorry for her part in things. She couldn’t have a partner if she was unwilling to lean on him, at least as much as she wanted him to do the same.
* * *
Hailey wasn’t running behind for once. Since she’d hired Dolly, her time had freed up some and she no longer felt like there was no way to accomplish her to-do list. Another example of how letting someone in, trusting them to help and not let you down, works out in your favor. Hailey still needed to run a few errands before she went into the shop. Most importantly, she needed to talk to Wes.
She didn’t, however, expect him to be on her doorstep when she came out her front door.
In a gray sweater and jeans, his hair mussed, he looked like he hadn’t gotten any more sleep than she had.
“Hi,” she said, standing on the bottom step, bringing her eyes level with him.
“Hi.” He touched her waist, stepped into her, their lips a fraction apart.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
His gaze widened. “You are?”
She nodded with a smile, put her hands on his shoulders. “I am. I think we need to talk about some boundaries. But I shouldn’t raise my hackles quite so high.”
His grin was belly warming. “I’m sorry, too. I should have talked to you.”
“Do you want to come up for a cup of coffee?” She could do errands later.
“You don’t need to get to work?”
She was already unlocking the door. “Dolly is opening.”
As if they’d come to an unspoken agreement, they waited to fall together until they were in her apartment. His lips touched hers tentatively at first but she stepped into him, pulled him closer. You’re mine. And I want to be yours. She needed to trust his words, his actions, and his intentions.
When he pulled back, he used both hands to sweep her hair away from her face. “I know I can be difficult.”
She laughed. “Well, I think I might have a couple faults of my own.”
“I didn’t mean to go behind your back. Well, I did, but I won’t again. The thing is, I really think this space is great for my family. I didn’t do it just to help you. I know I have some boundary issues but I promise you, I’ll work on it.”
Hailey felt like she physically melted into him. “I need to work on a few things of my own. Like trust. And also believing that just because you want to help me doesn’t mean you don’t think I’m capable.”
His eyes widened. “Hailey, you’re one of the most capable women I’ve ever met. You’re amazing.”
He really believed that. She ran her hands up and down his arms, so happy he was there. “I just don’t want you to think your money has anything to do with my feelings for you.”
He laughed. “Trust me, I know that. You forgive me?”
“Do you forgive me?”
He nodded. “We’ve survived our first big fight,” he said, kissing her cheek.
Hailey patted him down, earning a sexy arch of his brows. “Making sure you didn’t bring any stupidly expensive jewelry.”
Wes’s deep laugh filled the last dredges of worry. “I know better.”
She pulled him over to the couch where they sat side by side, her legs thrown over his lap.
“Is everything okay with Chris and Noah? I didn’t think about it until after but they don’t usually just show up like that, do they?”
“No. They’d found out from Grace and Everly about the construction. Noah, being Noah, got curious. He looked up the sale. They were there to kick my ass.”
She tilted her chin down. “Poor baby.”
He laughed. “You don’t mean that. They’re no longer mad at me either, though Noah doesn’t want me to dump CoreTech as a client.”
Hailey’s back stiffened. “Why would you do that?”
Wes sighed, lowered his hand to her knee. “Because I won’t tolerate the way Ana treated you.”