It’s like you forget a part of your life. A part of your soul and a part of your heart will always be missing.
I understand divorce. Some simply just fall out of love. Others deal with infidelity. There are many reasons. You go through the seven stages of grief. Anger. Sadness. But how could you forget about the children or that for a small amount of time you loved that person? You looked into their eyes and you felt the butterflies. You held that person in your arms and promised to be their protector.
Releasing a breath, I sat back down next to Mom and held her hands in mine.
“Have it your way then,” he bitterly said.
I may not have made many choices in life, but I do make the ones that matter. For the most part, I don’t care what I do. Just as long as I’m with the person or people I want to be with. Serious choices I have no problem making. Apparently. This was the first choice I had ever really been able to make.
I didn’t bother to look at Dad as he left. I just heard his shoes on the hardwood floor as he walked away. Heard him pick up the suitcase and walk out the front door, slamming it behind him. It was almost like he didn’t want any evidence that he was ever a part of our lives.
While I sat there and held my mom, I whispered, “It’s going to be okay.” All I thought about while I repeated those words to her over and over and over again, I knew I was lying. That was the first time in my life I had ever lied to my mom.
I even thought about how in one day I had lost everyone. They chose something or someone else over me. Something more important. Something of greater significance.
I just wondered when it would happen that someone was faced with a choice to make and they would choose me.
Chapter 2
Gabe
“Are you almost ready, honey?” Mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
I didn’t answer her right away. I was standing in the doorway of my room, just staring at it. All of the memories of my childhood had happened in that room. I grew up there. That was the only house I had ever lived in. But now? Now Mom had decided to make a change. She chose to move us to Maryland for my senior year.
She thought it would be a good change of scenery for her and I.
At that point, I didn’t give a shit. It seemed like things were just getting worse and worse for me. I wondered when things would start to pick up, but I guessed only time would tell.
“Gabe,” Mom said from behind me as she ran her hand up and down my back.
“Huh?” I tilted my head back to look at her “Are you ready?” she whispered.
Turning back around to look at my room one more time, I nodded my head. Grabbing the last moving box on the floor, I looked at my room one last time. “Yeah,” I let out. “I guess.” Picking up the box, I turned around, walked out of the room, and closed the door behind me.
Nodding, Mom attempted to give me a smile. “It will be okay, Gabe.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. I hope so.
***
“Knock. Knock,” Mom said, standing by my bedroom door.
“Hey.” I turned around.
As she walked into my room and sat down, she asked, “Are you all settled in?”
Looking around at my room, I saw boxes all over the place. I raised my eyebrows and she smirked at me. Sitting down on my bed, she crossed her arms and started to suck on her bottom lip.
I could tell she was thinking of something to say and I started to get nervous. “Mom?”
“Yeah,” she blurted as her eyes quickly met mine.
“What’s going on?”
Taking a deep breath she said, “I just thought…” but trailed off.
“Yes, Mom?” I nudged. I sat on the bed with her. “Mom, what’s going on?”
She smiled. “I just thought baseball would be a good thing for you to do this year, Gabe.”
“Really, Mom? I just—” I shook my head. “I don’t know. I just figured I could go to school and get this year over with as fast as possible. I could tell that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear because she sat up straight and scrunched her eyebrows together.
“Gabe, I love you,” Mom whispered as she cupped my face. She exhaled. “I just thought this was a new change for us. Nobody knows us here and you can make all of the choices you want. I just want to root you on. That’s all.”
Choices. I finally get to make them. Huffing a breath, I slowly let it out. “All right, Mom. I’ll play baseball.”
“You will?” I could tell from the tone in her voice that she wasn’t prepared for that answer.
“Yeah, I’ll play baseball.”
“Great,” Mom said as she leaned into me. As she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, she kissed me on the cheek. “I’m really proud of you.”
As she released me, I smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”
“For what?” she asked as she tilted her head. I could tell she wasn’t prepared for what I had just said to her.
“For being there for me,” I said simply. “For not walking away. For letting me choose whether or not I wanted to play. For supporting me in the decisions I make. I love you, Mom.”
“Honey,” she said. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, too.”