“Um, okay?”
“So, that was easy,” Ton said as she started to walk past me. Stopping right next to me, she started to put her hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t touch me,” I said angrily.
Shrugging, she said, “See ya,” and walked out of the auditorium.
I shook when the doors closed. They were pretty loud. I couldn’t believe how pissed off I was. I wasn’t pissed about us not dating anymore. It was the fact that she just made that choice. Didn’t even think of me.
I mean, isn’t a relationship about two people? It’s not just one person making all of the choices and decisions. It’s a partnership.
I wanted to scream. Yell. Hit something, but I didn’t. Because in the long run I didn’t care. Releasing a breath, I turned around and walked out of the auditorium. Class was in session, but thankfully I just had a study hall. As I walked into the cafeteria where study hall was held, I felt my heart beating rapidly and my nostrils flaring. I couldn’t believe how angry I was.
A part of me felt strange. There was a pit in my stomach telling me something was wrong. I could feel eyes from every direction staring at me. People whispering. Some were even pointing.
I felt like I was in an exhibit at the zoo.
While my sneakers made a squeaky sound on the linoleum as I walked, it eased my mind. The noise was too obnoxious for me to hear my own thoughts.
Stopping in front of the table where all the guys from the baseball team sat, I said, “Hey, guys.” My voice quivered when I spoke and I was damn certain they heard it.
“Um, hey, Gabe,” Trey said.
Placing my hands in my front pockets, I asked, “What’s going on with you guys?” Everyone just kind of looked up and then glanced away. Practically ignoring me. “Trey?”
As he turned towards my direction, Trey cleared his throat. “Ton kind of gave us an ultimatum.”
“What do you mean, an ultimatum?” I questioned as I leaned all of my weight on one foot.
Clearing his throat, Trey said, “Look, Gabe, we had to make a choice.”
A choice? Fuck that. They were all cowards.
Releasing an exasperated breath, I turned around and had started to walk away when Trey yelled, “Gabe, wait!”
Spinning around, I could see Trey felt a bit guilty about what everyone was doing to me. However, I didn’t care. Like he had said. They had a choice to make and they had made one. Looking into his eyes, I let out a breath and shook my head. “Unbelievable,” I muttered.
As I turned to walk out of the cafeteria, I could feel eyes on me again, but I didn’t give a fuck. My adrenaline was pumping and right then I had wanted more than anything to just hit something. Better yet someone.
Stopping in front of my locker, I took a deep breath. Bam! Looking at the dent in my locker, I didn’t give a shit, and lifting my hand up, I looked at it. My knuckles were scraped and there was a small amount of blood.
I didn’t feel any of it, though. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Almost like I was watching myself.
Dropping my head, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe this. It’s not like they were good friends. Or even friends. But we were teammates and I thought that stood for something. Apparently not.
We had hung out after school tossing the baseballs back and forth. Cheering one another on during games. Going to parties on the weekends to celebrate our victories or drink into oblivion to forget our losses. Other than that? I didn’t really know much about them and vice versa.
I had never really let anyone in. I got along with people but I always had a guard up. No one was ever important enough to let in. Take that risk. I often wondered if I would ever meet anyone who would be.
Grabbing my notebooks, I tossed them into the trash. Today was the last day of junior year. I couldn’t believe this was how I was kicking off the summer. I wouldn’t be going to barbeques. Hanging out around a campfire. Going to the lake or taking road trips to the beach. Those days were over.
Not really caring to finish up the rest of the day because while others were taking pictures with friends and getting their yearbooks signed, I didn’t have anyone. Not one single person. I had lost all of them. All because of a motherfucking choice.
Returning all of my books to my teachers, I decided to leave. Forget. Hopefully wake up tomorrow and be back to where I was yesterday. Making out with Ton and doing drink games and playing baseball with the guys. I knew it was a mistake to accept Arizona U as my college. I should have taken my time and figured out all my options. But I was excited to be with the guys. They were all going there. What was I gonna do now?
As I started up my truck, I knew if I went straight home, Mom would ask me why I was home so early. Since I didn’t want to get into an argument, I decided to go let off some steam. Release my anger and all that built up energy at the batting cages for a few hours.