She put her hand on his chest, holding him back. “Can’t we get to know each other first?”
“I dinna see any purpose to further chatter,” he said. “We agreed this is an arrangement, not a romance.”
“That’s just it, you see. I don’t want a romance. I don’t want to pretend. But when I close my eyes, it’s not you touching me. It’s some fictional Captain MacKenzie of my own creation. I’m liable to make too much of this. I don’t think you want a silly, clinging wife making demands on your affections.”
“You’re right on that score. I canna say I do.”
“It’s like you told me. Love is a lie -people tell themselves,” she went on. “If that’s the case, actual knowledge should be the best antidote. Once I get to know you better, I should have no difficulty finding reasons to despise you.”
“Is shameless blackmail not enough?”
“I would have thought it would be. But then you told me about your men’s dire circumstances. I saw how loyal you are to them. It all became too sympathetic. I need a new reason to dislike you.” She crossed her legs. “Let’s begin with the basics. Where were you born?”
“Over toward Lochcarron on the western coast.”
A sudden thought occurred to her. “Do you have any family?”
“None.”
“Oh. That’s good. I mean, it’s not good. It’s terrible for you, and entirely too sympathetic. But it’s convenient for our purposes. It matches the lies I told.” She bit her lip, cringing. “I can be a bit absorbed in my own problems at times. It’s one of my worst failings. But you knew that already.”
He nodded. “Oh, aye. I knew that already.”
“See? You know all about my flaws. It’s easy for you to remain detached. But I don’t know any of yours.”
“Here’s the first.” He reached to encircle her ankle with his hand. His thumb stroked up and down. “I’m entirely too good in bed. Have a way of ruining a woman for all others.”
She pulled her leg away. “Boastfulness would be the first flaw, then. That will do for a start. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”
He pushed his hands through his hair. “I’m beginning to think it was marrying you.”
“No, no. Don’t show a sense of humor. That ticks a box in the wrong column.”
He reached for her and drew her close, then rolled her onto her back. The hard, heated weight of him pressed her body into the mattress. “I can tick all the boxes, lass.”
She swallowed hard. “Who’s A.D.?”
“What?”
“The brooch you gave me. It has the initials L.M. and A.D. Who is A.D.?”
His eyes hardened to chips of ice. “No one important to me.”
“But—-”
He bent his head and kissed her neck. A whisper of heat against her skin. Despite herself, she sighed with pleasure.
He heard that sigh. And was encouraged by it.
His hands ranged over her curves. Not grabbing or taking. Simply learning her shape.
And as he did, Madeline was learning things, too. She was used to examining creatures, cataloging all their parts. The key to creating a good illustration was understanding how the creature functioned. The reason for an antenna. The purpose of a spinneret.
As Logan touched her, she realized something crushing. Over the recent years, she’d reduced herself to a rough sketch of a person. She had hands to draw, eyes to see, and a mouth to occasionally speak. But there was so much more to this body she inhabited—-so much more to her—-and when she lay beneath him, all of it made sense.
It made her wonder which parts of himself he’d been neglecting. How long he’d gone without a woman to remind him of this small, secret hollow of his throat, the perfect shelter his body made when it curved around hers. The way his hand was made to cup her breast just as capably as it gripped a dagger.
It was all too much.
Maddie squirmed out from under him. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I know this is supposed to be physical. Impersonal. It’s only that I keep thinking of lobsters.”
He flipped onto his back and lay there, blinking up at the ceiling. “Until just now, I would have said there was nothing remaining that could surprise me in bed. I was wrong.”
She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. “I am the girl who made up a Scottish lover, wrote him scores of letters, and kept up an elaborate ruse for years. Does it really surprise you that I’m odd?”
“Maybe not.”
“Lobsters court for months before mating. Before the male can mate with her, the female has to feel secure enough to molt out of her shell. If a spiny sea creature is worth months of effort, can’t I have just a bit more time? I don’t understand the urgency.”
With a gruff sigh, he drew a fold of her quilt over his lap. “We had a handfasting, lass. The vows we spoke would be considered a mere betrothal on their own. The consummation is what makes it a marriage.”
He had her full attention now. “You mean this could still be undone?”
That was interesting.