Chapter Nine
Floss invited Jake’s friends to stay for dinner and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She tempted them with promise of roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, and fresh green beans from the garden. Homemade apple pie was the clincher, though.
After dinner, Hank and Floss decided to turn in early. We said our good nights and the five of us headed back down to the burn pit with the intention of polishing off the rest of the beer. After all, there were only two things to do out in the middle of the sticks—have sex and get drunk. Since Jake continued holding out on the first thing, I accompanied the boys on the other.
Cowboy opened another beer and passed it to me with a sly, sexy smile. “You doing okay, darlin’?”
I nodded lazily, my brain buzzing with alcoholic contentment. “It’s not oil,” I slurred, pointing at the fire.
He cocked one eyebrow. “Oil?”
“We’re burning the midnight trash,” I mumbled, before bursting into hysterics and falling out of my chair.
Jake caught my arm, righted me, and snagged the beer from my hand. “Okay, slick, I think you’ve had one too many.”
I pushed my lip out, pouting. “Oh, Jake, you’re no fun.”
He tipped the bottle back and guzzled my entire beer. “Well, that was fun,” Jake said smugly, making the other guys laugh.
I leaned over to Cowboy, though my head tilted too far to the right and I had to correct it. “So what’s with the name? Why do they call you Cowboy?”
“Because I always rounded up the most cattle.”
“That’s it?” I asked, unimpressed. “I thought for sure there’d be a better reason for it than that. You should try something like, ‘because I can stay on longer than eight seconds, which is more than most men can.’ It would’ve done more for your image.”
He chuckled under his breath. “Not when the cattle we’re referring to are women.”
“Oh, jeez,” I said, looking over at Ox. “Well, what about you? Why Ox?”
Jake, Cowboy, and Judd all broke into chorus, “Because he’s hung like an ox.” I swear all three of them reached down and self-consciously rearranged their balls at the same time.
“No freaking way!” I laughed giddily, though I was the only one doing so. I looked to Jake for confirmation, and he nodded solemnly. My eyes widened and found their way back to Ox, who displayed a proud grin. “You’ve got to be shittin’ me.” I surveyed his pint-size frame and shook my head with disbelief. “No way!”
Ox smiled wider. “Want me to prove it?”
“Yes!”
“NO!” the men said in unison.
“Oh, come on, guys. He has to. There’s no way I’ll believe it until I see it for myself. You may as well have said he had the legendary Bigfoot dangling between his legs.”
“He practically does,” Cowboy mumbled under his breath.
Jake stood. “All right, I think it’s time to call it a night.” He tossed Cowboy the keys to our commandeered Explorer. “You can bring it back tomorrow.”
“That’ll work,” Cowboy said in agreement.
“Come on, Emily. It’s bedtime,” Jake said, as if I were his child.
“I’m not going inside yet.” Even if I did feel a little loopy.
He glared at me. “Well, you’re not staying out here alone.”
“You can’t boss me around. I’m capable of making up my own mind. If I want to stay out here then you can’t stop—”
Jake took two long strides, threw me over his shoulder, and carted me off toward the cottage. Damn Neanderthal. It would have served him right if I puked on him.
The guys laughed as they walked behind us toward the Explorer.
“You two fight like you’re already married,” Ox said to us. “You should go ahead and make it official.”
“We probably would if Emily didn’t have commitment issues,” Jake replied, hamming it up by slapping me on my butt. “All she wants is sex.”
God, I wanted to blow his stupid cover right then and tell them how Jake acted like a virginal schoolgirl who refused to part with his panties, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. And he knew it.
All evening I’d been helplessly drowning in male testosterone. I don’t know why I expected anything different at this point. If this was any indication of how Smurfette felt, she should’ve left Smurf village a long time ago and begged Gargamel to kill her estrogen-laden ass.
“I have commitment issues?” I said to Jake. “You’re a man, right?”
“You should know, honey.” Then he smacked my ass a second time.
I growled under my breath, “If you do that again, you’re going to have to sleep with one eye open tonight.”
…
I came out of the shower as mad as when I went in.
Jake pulled back the quilt on the bed. “Still upset with me?”
“Eat shit.”
“Guess so,” he said, shrugging. A brief silence passed before he spoke again. “Okay, I know I’m going to regret this. Tell me what the problem is.”
I glared at him. “You keep bossing me around. I’m starting to think Cowboy is right about you. You’re no fun.”
“We’re not here to have fun. I brought you here to hide you and keep you alive. Those are my two objectives right now. You want fun, go to Disney World.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to be boring. I have all this idle time to do nothing, yet I annoy you more when I’m left to my own devices. I can’t win.”
Jake closed his eyes briefly and sighed. “Okay, tell me what I can do to make this less boring for you and less infuriating for me.”
I grinned from ear to ear as I crawled into bed with him. “You know that’s a loaded question, right?”
“Something besides that,” Jake said.
“Afraid I might tarnish your precious halo?”
“Nope. I want to channel your energy into something else, in hopes you’ll behave yourself from now on.”
“A reward for good behavior?”
Jake nodded. “Sure. What do you want?”
I considered my options, though I didn’t have many to choose from. But there was one thing I truly wanted. Well, besides that. “I want to go somewhere. I’m tired of sitting around here.”
“Nope. Not going to happen. Pick something else.”
“Come on, Jake. I’m like that colt in the barn. I need to be able to stretch my legs, but you keep fencing me in. I need to get out of here, even if it’s only for a little while.”
He thought about it for a second, then let out a hard breath. “Okay, fine. God, I hope I don’t regret this,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Tomorrow evening, I’ll take you out.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yes. But not for long, and we have to stay low-key. Is it a deal?”
“Deal,” I said, grinning. “Wow, your halo is really glowing tonight.”
Jake flipped off the lamp. “Yeah, yeah. I’m a regular angel.”
“Well, it’s better than acting like a nun,” I said, before pausing to roll my mind over a drunken thought. “Wait a minute. Do angels have sex?”
“Go to sleep, Emily.”
…
Earlier in the day, Jake called Cowboy and arranged for him to bring the Explorer by before dark. When I heard him pull in, I figured we’d be leaving soon. I dabbed my lips with shiny, clear gloss and misted myself lightly with perfume. I wanted my outing with Jake to be memorable, and the last look in the mirror had brought a smile to my face.
The flowery halter dress had a vintage, romantic feel, but paired with white strappy heels and a wide belt cinching my waist, the dress transformed into a traffic stopper. Junior’s daughter had great taste.
Jake poked his head in the bedroom door. “Are you ready—” He stopped and stared with a stunned expression. “—to go?”
“Yep.” I moved past him toward the cottage door. His head turned to watch me, but his feet stayed planted. “Coming?”
“Uh…yeah, of course.” Only then did he move to the door. He opened it, but paused. “Emily,” he said, hesitating again. “You…uh, look great.”
I smiled. “Thanks. You, too.”
His blue plaid shirt wasn’t anything fancy, but it brought out the blue coloring in his gray eyes. His denim jeans emphasized his long, muscular legs and were tight on his ass. What more could a girl want?
Jake held the door for me, and I stepped out onto the porch. A shrill wolf whistle pierced the air. Cowboy leaned against the fender of the Explorer wearing faded Wranglers, a white muscle shirt, old work boots, and his white straw hat. He motioned his finger in a circle, wanting me to spin. I happily obliged.
He looked me up and down. “Mmmm-mmm.” He didn’t need to give me a verbal compliment. The fiery spark of desire in his eyes, as well as a hint of the green-eyed monster when he glanced over to Jake, was compliment enough.
I hadn’t seen desire in Jake’s eyes when he came into the bedroom. If anything, he looked more like a scared bunny crossing paths with a hungry coyote. What happened to him being the big, bad wolf? I chalked it up to the fear of going into town with the woman he stole from witness protection—it’s bound to make anyone a little nervous.
Jake drove and I sat in the front passenger seat, though I don’t know why, since I wasn’t alone. Cowboy said he’d sit in back, but he spent most of his time leaning over my shoulder, breathing on my neck. I think he was looking for a mountain view, but with my average-sized chest, he was sorely disappointed. Most he could hope for was a glimpse of the twin peaks.
Once we dropped Cowboy off at the fire station, Jake drove the back way toward Liberty County. I thought it was funny, since all the ways were the back way to me, especially when surrounded by thickets of trees.
“Your friend is flirtatious.”
“And persistent,” Jake added. “I think you’ve caught his attention.”
“What do you mean?”
Jake shrugged. “He’s never met a woman he couldn’t have before.”
“Quantity over quality, huh?”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” he said with a smirk. “The women he’s been with have never complained about quality control. It’s more like he’s an avid hunter, and it’s open season year round…as far as women go.”
“Oh, I get it. He’s all about the bag and tag…but with no limit?”
“That’s right,” Jake said, laughing. “Cowboy needs a woman who challenges him. Most of them tend to fall over with their legs in the air. It’s no fun hunting if the game comes to you and commits suicide at your feet.” Jake glanced over at me as he drove. “Is he bothering you?”
“Cowboy? No, he’s harmless…I think,” I said with a laugh. “Is he bothering you?”
He grinned. “Did he hit on me and I didn’t know it?”
“No, I mean, does it bother you that he’s hitting on me?”
Jake didn’t hesitate. “Not at all.”
Ouch. That stung. I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t jealous, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Valuable lesson of the day: don’t ask questions you might not like the answers to.
Jake turned down an unpopulated county road, and I spied something ahead. It had already gotten too dark to tell what it was from a distance, but when we got closer, I saw four large skeletal remains hanging from the barbed wire’s wooden posts. Jake didn’t bat an eye as we drove past, but I remembered the men who crept out of the woods the night we arrived.
“Oh, my God. What the hell were those…things?”
He glanced in his rearview mirror. “Alligator gars.”
“What?”
“Alligator gars. They’re a type of fish.”
“There’s no way. Those things were too big to be fish. They were longer than me.”
Jake smirked. “Trust me, they’re fish. Gars can get up to ten feet long.”
“Why are their skeletons hung up on the fence? That’s creepy.”
“You don’t want to know.”
I gave him an impatient look. “Tell me.”
“All right. Well, some people around here believe in voodoo.”
Just what I need. Something else that gives me nightmares. “Never mind. You’re right. I don’t want to know.”
We drove silently while I tried to erase the disgusting skeletal creatures from my mind. Darkness crept forward and encompassed everything around us. I had no idea where we were until Jake pulled out onto the highway. Junior’s Diner was on this same highway, so chances were good that Jake was taking me to dinner. Junior would love that since I made such a lovely scene in the bathroom the last time I visited his place.
Jake slowed and turned his blinker on, but he passed the diner, pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot, and got in line at the drive-through. I didn’t understand what he was doing, so I held off on reacting. Something must’ve got lost in translation. I was still trying to connect the dots when we arrived at the microphone.
Jake leaned out his window. “Two small vanilla cones,” he said into the speaker.
Too stumped for words, my lips couldn’t form any clear communication. My face began to feel hot. I rolled down the passenger window to let the cool night air in and closed my eyes. This couldn’t be real. Somehow, I had convinced myself Jake was taking me on a romantic outing, but all he had planned was ice cream at the Dairy Queen drive-through. Talk about an insulting buzzkill.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t even ask me which flavor I wanted. He assumed I’d take whatever he’d give me and be happy with it. Don’t know why I was surprised. He’d been doing it since I met him.
Jake pulled around to the other side of the building where the window was. The car in front must’ve gotten ice cream as well because they’d already pulled away. The freckle-faced teenage girl at the window smiled flirtatiously at Jake as he handed her a ten-dollar bill. She handed him his change and some extra napkins. A plump, older woman walked over with two vanilla cones and handed them to the teen.
She passed the first ice cream cone out the window to Jake. Then Jake passed it to me. And, with no hesitation, I passed it right out my passenger window. It splattered on the pavement, cone and all.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jake asked.
“Maybe I preferred chocolate, you prick!”
“If you wanted chocolate, all you had to do was say something.”
“I didn’t want…never mind. Just forget it.” With that, I opened my door and got out of the Explorer, noticing two other vehicles had pulled up in line behind us.
Jake was genuinely confused. “What’s your problem?”
“This is where you chose to take me? Seriously?”
“What’s wrong with Dairy Queen?”
“Nothing!” I marched toward Junior’s Diner with my feathers more ruffled than before.
I could hear the people in the other cars laughing as Jake pulled out of the drive-through line, parked, and got out. “What are you whining about now?” he asked.
“Whining about?” I said, spinning on my heels and pacing back in his direction. “Are you kidding me?”
“Emily, you’re making a scene.”
“Well, you might be in for one hell of a shock, but I don’t f*cking care!”
“I don’t get it. You didn’t throw a tantrum last night.”
“Because I didn’t know where you were taking me last night!”
“I didn’t, either,” Jake said. “Is that why you’re so pissed?”
“God. All you men are liars!”
A trashy-looking woman from one of the drive-through cars hung out her window and shouted, “You tell him, girl!”
“Hey, women lie, too, and not always on their backs,” a young man yelled from the other car in the drive-through, then followed it with animated laugh.
Jake’s steely gaze bore into mine. “Are you done being hysterical yet?” he asked in a low, rough voice.
“Not. Even. Close.” I squeezed past him and walked between two parked cars.
Jake followed, not allowing me to escape his field of vision. He was thoroughly pissed off. “You know, I wondered when the next storm would hit,” he said angrily. “We should have named you Hurricane Emily. It’s more fitting.”
“Sure, Jake. Throw more gas on the fire.”
“You know what your problem is? I’ll tell you. You’re an overindulged, entitled baby who is prone to outbursts and too wrapped up in yourself to care about anybody else.”
The woman from the drive-through car yelled, “Honey, I wouldn’t take that shit.”
The young man in the other car didn’t appreciate the woman’s comment and honked his horn. “Hey, bitch, why don’t you shut your pie hole and mind your own business?”
“Look who’s talking, jackass!” the woman hollered back.
Jake shook his head. “Jesus Christ. Are you trying to start a riot?
“Now it’s my fault the people in the drive-through are arguing? I guess everything’s my fault, right?”
Jake grabbed my arm. “We need to go before someone calls the cops.”
I shook him off and tilted my chin up. “Let them. I’d rather be arrested, handcuffed, and loaded in the back of a cruiser than to get in the vehicle with you again.”
He glanced around and lowered his voice to a whisper. “If they run your fingerprints, you’ll be put in the system and Felts will find you.”
His attempt at forcing me to maintain a healthy perspective didn’t work. I was too far gone and still lashing out. “What do you care, anyway? You’d be rid of my overindulged, entitled ass.”
“Emily, get in the car.”
“There you go, telling me what to do. What are you going to do if I don’t…kidnap me again?” I stood there with crossed arms, tapping my foot, and watching anger flicker like fire in his eyes.
“Would you knock it off, you spoiled little…” He stopped himself from continuing his train of thought.
I didn’t care. That got my blood pumping, coursing through my veins at the speed of light. I had to get away from him before I punched him. “Oh, I give up!” I tried to step around him, but he blocked me from leaving.
“No, that’s exactly your problem,” Jake said, his nostrils flaring. “You don’t give up. Ever. In fact, you don’t ever shut up, either.”
Don’t do it. Don’t say— “It’s not my fault the average intelligence level around here is a big whopping three. I didn’t ask to be held captive in Hicksville or for us to sit around playing Duck, Duck, Goose, either. If all of you want to sit around licking windows and eating crayons with googly eyes and missing teeth, then be my guest. My ass will be on the next bus back to Chicago.” Damn, I said it.
Looking into Jake’s eyes, I knew our unpleasant battle of wills had become more personal than I meant it to. Me and my big mouth. His body swelled with rage as I pushed him to his breaking point.
“Get back in the car,” he growled.
I couldn’t move my feet. Regretting my words, I wanted to apologize, but didn’t know how. He regarded it as a sign of rebellion and snapped.
Jake gripped my arm, making me yelp, and manhandled me toward the Explorer. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Junior standing under a security light in the parking lot of his diner, watching the entire scene. He grinned at me and stepped back into the shadows.
“That’s right, bubba,” the young man in the drive-through yelled out. “You show that bitch who’s the boss!”
Jake glared at him. “Shut up, dick!”
…
He was silent on the way home, spending half the drive gripping the steering wheel with such pressure I was sure he’d break his knuckles.
A hard lump formed in my throat, forcing me to choke on any words of apology that wanted to make their presence known. I shouldn’t have let things get so out of hand. I felt terrible about implying his friends and family were uneducated hicks, especially since they’d been nothing but kind to me. He was never going to forgive me. It would serve me right if he abandoned me on the side of the road.
Jake pulled off onto the shoulder and stopped the car. Oh, shit. Was that what he was doing?
“Stay here,” Jake ordered, his voice calmer than before.
I nodded and stared out the window. Jake walked around the back of the Explorer, crossed the ditch, and disappeared into the forest. He probably planned on leaving me here alone and never coming back. I’d never be able to find my way back to his uncle’s house on my own. Hell, I’d be lucky if I made it back to the highway.
A minute later, Jake stepped out of the trees and walked back to the car. Once he got back in, I asked him, “Checking to see if someone followed us?”
“No, I took a leak.”
“Oh.”
He let his eyes rest on me for a moment. “I want to talk about what happened before we get home.”
“Jake, I don’t want to fight.” I propped my head against the seat. “I’m sorry about what I said, all of it. I didn’t mean any of it, and I don’t know why I reacted poorly. I just thought—”
“You thought this was a date.” He didn’t form it as a question.
My cheeks felt feverish as the embarrassment and fear of rejection pressed forward, but I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t bring myself to admit I read into it more than he did.
“I didn’t understand why you were mad, but it’s because you weren’t mad,” Jake said sympathetically. “You were hurt.”
I didn’t want him to know how foolish I felt. “No, I was mad.”
“No, Emily, you got hurt and that is what made you mad. There’s a difference. You don’t lie down and die when you get hurt like most people. You come out swinging.” He smiled and his eyes glittered in the darkness. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I care about—”
My head snapped toward him. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
He reached for my hand and pulled it into his. “Damn it, Emily, I do care. As much as I don’t want to, I do.” He gazed deeply into my eyes. “You infuriate me more than anyone ever has, but for some strange reason, I keep coming back for more.”
I shook my head. “Jake, do you expect me to believe that? You left me in the pond to get eaten by Charlie.”
“He wasn’t going to eat you. I wouldn’t have let it happen. If I thought for one second you were in any danger, I would’ve gotten you out.”
Jake sounded sincere, but I still had to wonder. “You also said it didn’t bother you that Cowboy hit on me.”
“It doesn’t.” Jake chuckled at my puzzled expression. “Look, it’s the way he is. I’m used to it. He’s a womanizer, but he’s one of my best friends. I trust him. Even if I didn’t, he doesn’t want to get into a pissing match with me because he knows he’d lose. Besides, I trust you. Though we haven’t labeled this thing between us, I think our intentions are clear.”
“And Bobbie Jo?”
Now it was his turn to look puzzled. “What about her?”
“Cowboy said you two dated in high school.”
“That was a long time ago. We’re just friends now.”
“But you took her virginity.”
His head snapped back to me, surprised I knew as much. “Yes. And she took mine. So what?”
I shrugged. “I’m not a virgin, Jake.”
He lifted his eyebrows at me. “Good thing, because I’m not either.”
“Very funny. I’m being serious here. She gave you something…well, I can’t give you that. I’m sure it still means something.”
Jake coiled his fingers around mine and squeezed. “Look, two virgins having sex—when neither knew what they were doing—was awkward and clumsy, not romantic. Trust me, it’s an experience I’d love to forget, not repeat.”
“I think some people have a different view on those things,” I said. “Women, especially. They don’t forget their first time.”
“So should I worry about the guy who took your virginity?”
“Oh God, no,” I said with disgust. “Don’t be silly.”
He ruffled my hair on top of my head, like I was a child. “We’ll talk more later. We need to get back to the house. Floss is saving dinner for us.”
Jake let go of my hand and shifted the car into drive. I rested my hand in my lap, but he reached for it again. He held it as he drove us home.
“I’m going to go to bed earlier from now on,” Jake said, grinning. “Fighting with you is exhausting.”