I take a few steps toward him. “You have a great smile and when you let it out, it’s like the whole world lights up too.”
Alexander places his forehead against mine. “Thank you for that.”
I lace my hands around his waist. “I mean it.”
His eyes close and he breathes out as if his body is saying, I so hope you do. He takes his free hand and tugs a stray hair of mine behind my ear. He can’t see what he’s doing but he’s done it so many times, it’s muscle memory.
“What were you doing hanging that stupid card up anyway?”
“I thought I’d put up some Christmas cheer. I didn’t get a tree this year. It’s the first time I’ve never had a tree up.”
“I haven’t had one in years.”
I push back from him and frown. “Your grandfather didn’t let you put up a tree?”
Alexander shakes his head indifferently. “He had one. The old man had the largest tree in Manhattan. I haven’t had one since I moved out at twenty-two.”
My brows shoot up. “You haven’t had a tree in ten years?”
He shakes his head.
I step to the side and grab my coat and purse off the hook by the front door. “Put some clothes on. I just decided what I’m buying you for Christmas.”
We went and bought our first Christmas tree together. When we walked to the corner tree stand, Alexander’s face lit up. I could see he wanted to buy the biggest one they had. Unfortunately, my apartment can barely fit the two of us, let alone a large piece of pine.
Luckily, the man also sold small tabletop trees for people who live like we do. It is so small, Alexander was able to carry it home in one hand. We stopped at the pharmacy and picked up a small package of lights and some ornaments. When we got home, we had our tree up and decorated in fifteen minutes.
It’s not much of a Christmas gift but seeing the look on Alexander’s face makes it worth it. The man could have a sixteen-foot tree in his uptown apartment but here he is with a look of complete satisfaction looking at his tabletop tree.
He is also wearing a look of satisfaction because we are currently lying naked on the chesterfield eating Thai food.
“Naked Thai is now my favorite takeout of all time,” he says, using his chopsticks to pop in a bite of pad thai.
I laugh and my back vibrates against the arm of the chair. We are each on an opposite end of the couch, our toes resting near the other’s side, a blanket thrown over us. The room is completely dark except for the twinkling lights on the tree. “It looks like Charlie Brown’s Christmas Tree.”
“It’s perfect,” he says and offers me a bite of his food. I lean forward and take a bite.
I settle back in my spot and find peace with the moment. Now if only he would say those three little words, life would be better. Is that weird? A twenty-five-year-old woman needing to hear the words “I love you” in order to feel validation. It’s not enough he is here every night and has declared himself “all in” numerous times. There is something about hearing the words that brings a form of security.
It’s only been three weeks.
Yes, but its also been five months.
My head is always a freakin’ mess when it comes to him.
Alexander raises his toe and nudges my side to get my attention. “Earth to Emma.”
“Sorry. Just daydreaming,” I say, and Alexander looks back at me with a smirk as if asking “About me?”
“Always about you,” I add.
He laughs and takes a final bite of his food before putting the carton down on the coffee table. “May I ask you a question?”
“Anything.”
“Why won’t you ask your sister if I can go to the wedding?”