A different look came over Roz’s face. A look Mick recognized.
“The years piled up,” Roz continued. “If you want a simple answer. When you’re twenty-two and carefree the way I was, you feel as if you have your whole life ahead of you. But when you’re pushing thirty-three, the way I am now, you start to wonder where the hell did it all go? I used to be the youngest face in the crowd at most auditions. I remember looking at all of those older actresses and wondering why were they still out here hustling, still trying to play a young girl’s game? Didn’t they know it wasn’t happening for them? Now I look around and I’m the oldest at most auditions. Now I’m the one those young girls are joking about. Being carefree doesn’t quite cut it when the landscape looks that bleak. I’m still happy, don’t get me wrong. I refuse to let this town take my happiness. But there are no more stars in these eyes.”
“Long gone?” Mick asked.
Roz nodded. “Long gone,” she said.
Mick considered her. Then he leaned toward her. “Don’t let them fool you, Rosalind,” he said. “Thirty-two is not old by any barometer. Thirty-three isn’t either. Take it from me. I’m much older than you. You’ve still got a whole lot of living to do. It’s absurd to even suggest that you don’t.”
Roz smiled a genuine smile. “Thanks,” she said. “And I know what you’re saying is true. It’s just a different world in show business.”
“Only if you buy into that world. Because in every other world, including the real world, thirty-three is not old. Hell, you’re just learning how to shit properly at thirty.”
Roz laughed.
“Stop buying into this show business illusion that makes right wrong and wrong right. You’re too old to fall for that.” Then Mick smiled. “Oops,” he said playfully, and Roz continued to laugh.
Mick felt so good by her laughter that he suddenly looked at that dancing fool called Betsy, better known as their distraction, and decided he’d had enough. He waved her off. “That’ll be all,” he said to her.
Betsy, now sweating and tired, stopped dancing and looked at him. And looked at Roz. And both of them were laughing. What was so funny? Why were they laughing? Were they laughing at her?
When Roz saw that changed look on Betsy’s face, she was about to explain. But Betsy was already offended. “Very funny, Roz,” she said angrily, and stormed off.
Roz stood up. “She thinks we’re laughing at her.”
“That’s her problem,” Mick said. He was never the kind of man to correct somebody else’s misperception. “Who cares?”
“I care,” Roz said. “She’s my friend.” She hurried to Betsy, who had gathered up her gear and was heading for the exit.
Mick watched as she met her friend at the door and began explaining herself and consoling her. It wasn’t his style. He had no patience for people that weak. But he found that he liked that sensitive quality in Rosalind.
Betsy smiled. “I thought y’all were laughing at me,” she said, wiping her tears. “I feel like a fool.”
Roz knew where it was coming from. Rejection was the most potent kind of pain to people like them. “You know I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Roz said. “You know me, Bess. I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”
Betsy looked at her old friend. She knew it. “What does he want anyways?” she asked. “Why did he have me dancing like that?”
Roz shook her head. “I don’t know. But if it wasn’t for an audition, and I doubt that it was, he’s going to pay you.”
Betsy’s blue eyes lit up. “He is?”
“Hell yeah he is! We aren’t carnival freaks on display. We’re serious performers. He’s going to pay.”
Betsy smiled. “Thanks, Roz,” she said, as they hugged. “Should I wait in the dressing room? Or can you bring it to me tomorrow?” They lived in the same building.
“What’s wrong with tonight? I can bring it to you tonight.”
“I’m spending the night at Darryl’s.” She said this and smiled. “But tomorrow would be great.”
Since Roz would more than likely have to make good on that promise of payment herself anyway, it was a no-brainer. “I’ll bring it by tomorrow,” she said. “You take off.”
They hugged again. “Thanks, Roz,” she said again, and took off.
Roz didn’t know why she was staying. Like Betsy, she had no clue what this Mick fellow was up to either. But she stayed. She needed to know.
When she sat back down, Mick looked at her. “Pacified her enough?”
“I wouldn’t call it that. But I reassured her.”
“Good.”
“I assured her that you were going to pay her for her efforts.” Roz looked at him. She met him eyeball to eyeball. “If you weren’t auditioning her, it’s only right.” But in looking at him so directly, Roz had a startling thought. This man appeared as if he didn’t have a sensitive bone in his body. As if he didn’t understand the meaning of the word. Could anybody be that hard?