“Sounds like a plan.” I suppress a smile and the desire to jump in excitement like a child. I’ve been dying to go to Rogue—or any place that isn’t the stuffy country club.
James’ idea of a night out consists of dinner and drinks at the country club with his friends. I hate going there with him. The women whisper behind my back, calling me a gold digger. The men leer at my body and make sexually charged comments when James isn’t paying attention.
I end up drinking too much to drown them all out, which makes James livid. He says I seductively smile at the men when I’m tipsy. I tell him nothing could be further from the truth. I leave out that the men make me sick because I’m afraid of James’ reaction, but they do.
“One request.” His so-called requests are well-mannered demands. “Wear your red Jimmy Choo heels and the new white dress I bought you from Dior.” The smile on his face spells trouble.
“That seems a little flashy for Rogue.” James places a finger under my chin and tilts my face up. His eyes scold and unnerve me. He doesn’t like me contradicting him, but I was only sharing my thoughts. “What did I do?”
“You, my darling, didn’t do a thing. God created you as every man’s temptation. I want to see how Sinclair reacts to you. And it better be as his future aunt, no matter how close you are in age.”
“But I am not a carrot you can dangle.” He pulls me into a forceful kiss before I can protest further. The thought seems twisted and doesn’t make sense if he’s worried about me being alone with Sinclair in the first place.
“Get the house ready.” James releases me from his arms. “And keep me posted on your day.” He walks toward the side door to the garage, but stops before he is fully out of my sight.
“Harlow,” his eyes blaze fire, “I love you.”
A quick moment passes while I try to find my voice. “I feel the same.”
Three words. Three confusing, life-altering words. Every time he utters them to me, I feel compelled to repeat them back, but I end up replying in a roundabout way.
One simple phrase could wash away any doubts he has of my affection, but the words stick in my throat—like they do every other time he has proclaimed his love for me. We are getting married in four weeks, so I better sort these feelings out and answer the question that troubles me: if I love him, why can’t I say it out loud?
***
After James leaves, I rinse away the morning’s sex in the shower, get dressed, and run out to my favorite grocery store to stock up. I have no clue what Sinclair likes to eat, so I empty the shelves into my cart. Healthy to junk food, it doesn’t matter. It’s novel, being able to pick and choose what I want without a care for the cost.
My mother and I lived the exact opposite life. We turned shopping into a sport. It felt like we’d won the Super Bowl when we saved a few dollars. I don’t miss the scrounging for pennies, but my life will never be the same without her.
What I wouldn’t give to have her back, even if just for a day. To hear her laugh at her own silly jokes, blame the burnt toast on a hateful ghost, or cry as she watched The Notebook.
We only had each other, but she made my life full with her love. She’d make me laugh so hard my sides felt like they would split. We didn’t have money to live like I am now, but we had laughter and joy. I miss her so much. If only she’d never met Tony.
A familiar feeling washes over me and I brush tears from my eye. Time to pay and leave before I break down in aisle five.
By some miracle, I keep myself together until I’m sitting behind the wheel of my BMW. The darkened windows hide me from an outside view. I lean into the steering wheel and bow my head, the ache in my heart beginning to subside with each falling tear.
Chapter Three
Harlow
Composed and back home from the store, I text James to let him know everything went smoothly while I was out. He fears for my safety, because, according to the police, Tony comes from a family of thugs, which isn’t shocking.
One of Tony’s brothers is in the state penitentiary for armed robbery and his father served time for domestic violence. Tony’s own rap sheet was riddled with petty crimes and arrests. I knew he was a bad seed at first glance, I just wish my mother had seen it too. His bad boy charisma blinded her to the truth. It was her kryptonite and downfall.
Now, James believes Tony’s father blames me for his son’s suicide. I’ve asked why he thinks this, and he’s yet to give me a reason other than something vague a detective told him at the police station.