CHAPTER 9 Do You Love Me?
After an entire weekend with my love I got up early to visit her before heading to work. Today would probably be an insane day since the hospital left me alone all weekend. I figured Emily would be asleep and would jokingly scold me for waking her up. With a croissant and a latte, I sped to her doorstep.
Ding Dong. The door opened immediately.
“Good morning, Beautiful.” I planted a longing kiss on her as it had been a whole six hours since we last saw each other. I continued my kiss even though I heard Sarah’s annoying attempt to break us up.
“Hello!” Sarah demanded.
“Hey, Sarah. What are you doing here so early?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“What are you both doing here at this hour” was Emily’s attempt to join in our conversation as the phone rang and Sarah ran to answer it.
Emily wondered why I was here so soon after a date. She knew it would be a crazy day for me as well. I asked her to come by the hospital to have lunch with me since I probably wouldn’t see sunlight today.
She laughed. “Oh? What time should I come by for lunch?”
I was about to give her a random time when Sarah yelled over to tell her that Max and Peter wanted to have lunch with Emily. My sour look reappeared.
With a wicked smile, Emily asked, “Well, Dr. Reid? Lunch today? I’ve got another offer on the table. Can you match that?”
I knew I couldn’t. “No. Go ahead and have lunch with your ex. I don’t know when I’ll get out of surgery.” After spending a wonderful weekend together, the thought of Emily being with Max bugged me.
Emily made some snide remark about not kissing Max like I had kissed Allison and sent me off for the day. My mood spiraled south.
My day at the hospital was worse than expected. I was thrown into surgery then went to assist the Chief with his operation. When I got out, it was almost 1:00pm. Work kept me so busy, I actually forgot about Emily. I wondered if she was still at lunch. I texted her.
Are you done with lunch yet? You did keep your promise with Max?
She answered immediately.
What promise? I didn’t make you nor Max any promises did I?
She loved toying with my emotion. I was definitely the weaker link.
Yes, you did! You weren’t going to allow him anywhere near you.
Well, he picked me up, drove me to lunch and is now sitting next to me. Does that break my promise to you?
Are you kidding me? was what I wanted to write. Instead I wrote,
Emily! This isn’t funny. You’re torturing me.
I’m not the one who kissed another woman in the middle of our weekend together.
I would live to hear this story the rest of my life.
I thought you said you’re going to let that one go. I promise! I didn’t kiss her back. When will lunch be over? You want to come visit me at the hospital?
I don’t know when lunch will be over and no, I don’t want to go to the hospital anymore. After the ER incident, I’m afraid of doctors now. Everyone at my table is giving me an unpleasant look because I’m ignoring them while texting you. Come over tonight and I will consider whether or not I want to kiss you since you’ve now reminded me of Allison. I have to go. Bye.
“Jake.” I turned to see the Chief calling me. “David is coming by in a few minutes, you want to have lunch with us?”
“Okay, where are we going?”
The Chief’s phone rang. “Let’s go,” he said, “David’s outside.”
Uncle Dave picked us up and we arrived at dim sum and found Mom and Dad waiting for us as well.
“Hi Mom. Hi Dad.”
“Hello, Son, long time no see. How was your weekend?” Mom asked with a knowing smile.
“You didn’t talk to Jane, yet?” I answered.
“We talked to her last night but I thought I’d get your version as well.” Mom smiled again.
“I heard you dropped a pretty penny at French Laundry,” Uncle Dave added to our conversation. “Thomas Keller told me you added every supplemental item to your meal. I assume you enjoyed it?” He too had a knowing smile.
“So obviously, you all know I had a good weekend. What answers are you exactly looking for?”
The Chief also joined in. “So is she still the one after two full days together? You’ve never once spoken of marriage till this Emily came along.”
“She is most definitely the one! This weekend only solidified what I already knew.”
The dim sum cart started coming around and everyone began picking their favorites. I saw my mom choose the shrimp and scallop har gow; Uncle Dave picked out the pan-fried dumplings; Dad decided on the siu mai and the Chief picked Chinese broccoli and shrimp rolls. I picked a deep fried pork dumpling and I thought of how much Emily would have enjoyed having lunch with us. There wouldn’t have been anything she didn’t like at our table.
“So what makes her the one? After years with Kelley, you never mentioned marrying her. Were you too young back then?” This time my dad wanted to know.
Considering how close we were as a family, it was only fitting that every Reid expressed not only curiosity, but also concern about my relationships.
“Dad, when you meet her, you’ll understand. She is such a sweet person. She’s honest and open and down to earth. She’s had a tough life. Her dad died when she was thirteen and her mom followed him when Emily was only seventeen. At times, I see signs of loneliness and sadness but rather than being down on life, she’s playful and affectionate and heartfelt. I can’t get enough of this girl.”
“Does she feel as strongly about you?” That was a legitimate question from Uncle Henry.
“Not yet, I don’t think. Because she’s been alone for so long, I think she wants to lean on someone entirely, but is also afraid to do so. She told me this weekend she felt abandoned by her parents for leaving her so early.” I decided to leave out the part about Max and their four years together. This wasn’t something I wanted anyone to know since it wasn’t important to her or me.
I saw my mom start to tear. “How heart breaking to lose not just one parent but both of them so early in life. I will definitely dote on her when I meet her in Hawaii.” Knowing Mom, she would most assuredly do so. “Jane called to say Emily was wonderful. She told me they made a pact to be sisters regardless of what happens to your relationship.”
“I guess we have a new Reid in the family. We can’t wait to meet her next week,” Uncle Dave declared as we finished up lunch.
The rest of the day flashed by. When I got to Emily’s doorstep it was already midnight. The lights were off but I couldn’t resist seeing her. I had missed her all day.
Ding Dong. The lights turned on like a domino effect – the family room, the kitchen, the dining room to the living room.
Incredibly excited to see my love, I wanted to hug and kiss her the moment I saw her. Instead I was shocked to see Emily’s face.
“What’s the matter, Emily? Have you been crying?”
“How’d you know?” Her face looked even more surprised than mine.
“Your eyes are puffier than a marshmallow. Why were you crying?” We walked hand in hand and while I went off to the couch, she went to look at her eyes in the mirror.
“Does this have something to do with your lunch with Max today?” I knew her meeting with Max would be a bad idea. I hoped he didn’t undo all our progress this weekend. “Do you mind telling me what happened?”
Without missing any detail, she told me Max regretted breaking up with my girlfriend when she was his girlfriend. When I asked her how she felt about Max’s regret, she gave me all the right answers but I still couldn’t understand why she had cried.
“If you don’t want a relationship with Max and it is me you want, why were you crying?”
She was at a loss for words. Thinking about this for a few seconds, she answered, “I cried because a lot of the pain I felt after we broke up resurfaced. Those were the words I wanted to hear eighteen months ago, not now. Maybe I was angry at him for…”
“Waiting this long?” I finished her sentence. “Do you want to get back together with him but can’t because of me? Am I in your way?”
What possessed me to ask these questions and leave the balance of our relationship up to her was beyond me. I guess I needed to know her answer.
“No! I want to be with you, Jake.” She hugged me tenaciously, body shaking. “Please don’t think that. Please, please believe me when I tell you how much I cherish our relationship.”
With such ardor, I was happy to have asked my questions. I brought her close to me and attempted to understand her.
“Emily, explain to me what’s on your mind. There must be something lingering in your heart for Max for you to be in such anguish.”
“To be honest, I don’t exactly know what hold Max still has on me, if any. I know there’s no more connection between us but why I still hurt so much when he brings up the past, I can’t explain.” She looked guilty again. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. This is the kind of stuff I don’t want you to see. What I do know is that in the short while we’ve been together, you’re the one I want to be with, not Max.”
I decided at this point it was time to tell her how deeply I felt. I’d held back as long as I could. “Emily, I’m not letting you go anywhere. We are not separating for any reason. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore and I hope you feel the same way about me. You must know by now how much I love you. I can’t believe I’ve waited this long to tell you. “
I saw more signs of hesitation.
“And by the look on your face you don’t quite reciprocate?” I asked to be sure.
“Jake, I’m not there just yet,” she answered half shrugging her shoulders.
“Emily, are you really not there? I think you’re just afraid to admit it.”
“To me, when I tell someone I love them, it’s a forever kind of word. I can’t take it lightly. Forever is not in my vocabulary just yet with us.”
I got angry again. “Why do you keep saying that? Didn’t you tell Max you loved him? Why are you so negative about us all the time? Do you think I take the words ‘I love you’ lightly? The words ‘love’ and ‘flippant’ do not coexist in my vocabulary either. This appears to be a weekly argument with us.”
“I’m sorry, Jake.” She had a coquettish but apologetic smile as she sat on my lap and put her arms around my neck. “Can we not argue about this, again? Just give me a little more time? Please?” She had perfected the art of flirting with my hope.
“You can’t admit you love me and you refuse to have sex with me. Why am I still here with you?”
“Because you love me.” She answered before propositioning my lips.
The next day I stopped by with breakfast but had to leave within minutes when I got paged. I came back fairly late in the evening to find dinner waiting for me.
“What’s for dinner?”
“Spaghetti, chopped salad, and garlic toast.”
“That smells good! I brought a cheesecake for dessert.” I held up the bag to show her. “Should I put it in the fridge?”
“Uh-huh. Can you get out the iced tea I put in there? Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat.”
“How was your day?” Emily asked nonchalantly not realizing how much she sounded like a wife asking her husband about his day.
I delighted in her question and forgot to answer.
“Are we not talking tonight?” She stared at me.
“My day started off intense but slowed down after lunch. What did you to all day?”
“I did just about nothing. I read a book, went grocery shopping and made dinner. I think I could live like this for a while.”
“Me too,” I answered but she didn’t understand my comment.
“Jake…” It was never a good sign when she dragged my name. Either I was in trouble or she needed to confess something. “Can I ask you something that’s been bothering me since I saw Allison this weekend?”
“You’re not going to bring up the kiss, again, are you?”
“No, not this time.”
“Then what’s bothering you?” I tried to think through all the things Allison said and did while Emily was present. There wasn’t much else that happened, I didn’t think.
“Well…”
“Emi, just spit it out.”
“Well… when I met Allison, I noticed she had a similar… never mind. I’m being silly. Finish your dinner. Let’s talk about something else.”
I dropped my fork. “I’m not eating anymore till you finish your thought. What is it?”
She hesitated for a long while then tried again. “I noticed Allison had a similar ring as mine and I wondered if you had given that to her.” Her head dropped immediately. I just hoped she wasn’t crying.
“Emily, what ring? I didn’t give her any ring.” Furiously I searched my brain for a mental picture of Allison’s finger that morning. I also did a quick jog through my memory to make sure I hadn’t given her anything that significant.
My girlfriend didn’t look convinced.
“It’s okay if you have.” She tried to back pedal. “I don’t mind.” Obviously she did. “I shouldn’t have asked. Sorry…”
“Emi, I promise you, I haven’t given her any gifts. I don’t know what ring she had on but it wasn’t from me.”
“Okay.” She answered and took a big awkward bite of her spaghetti.
“You don’t believe me, huh? I promise it wasn’t from me.”
Emily didn’t say anything but continued eating.
“Alright, let me tell you about all the girls I’ve dated and what I’ve given to each one of them so you will believe me when I tell you I’ve given no girl a ring in my life but you. You are the only one.”
Comically, Emily’s eye bulged and she cringed at the can of worms she’d opened. Purposely and tediously I named every girl I’d ‘dated’ even the ones I had a crush on in elementary school and told Emily about each and every gift a girl or woman got from me. It started with the girl in first grade who received a pink pencil from me all the way to Kelley who received several Tiffany trinkets, to books to a trip to Mexico. I gave the names of all the other women I’d gone on a date with and where we went and what we did, to the best of my memory. For the sake of our relationship, I didn’t outline all that I had done on my dates and filled in the blanks to some I really couldn’t remember.
“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry. I believe you. I don’t need to hear any more. It’s not that I didn’t believe you the first time, I felt stupid having asked that question. I was jealous.”
“No, I think you need to hear more.” I punished her with copious details, many of which were unnecessary but made my adventures even more drawn out. Towards the end of the story, all Emi could do was laugh. I had made my point. She conceded a loss.
“You can be so mean sometimes,” she accused.
“Oh, you charge me with giving Allison the same ring you have on and tell me I’m the one who’s being mean?”
“I’m sorry. How can I make this up to you?” The banter began again.
“Will you let me stay the night?”
She gave me a seriously look.
I’ll sleep in the guest room. Just let me stay here tonight.
“I think it’s time for you to leave.” Emily got up and started clearing the dishes. “We’ll have the cheesecake tomorrow night. Will you be back?”
“Can I stay tomorrow night?” I didn’t let up.
She shook her head no again then grabbed my hand and led me to the door.
“What time is your surgery tomorrow morning?”
“Early. I won’t stop by in the morning but I’ll be home early as well.” I wondered if she caught the word home as I referred to it as our home. I was sure she did but pretended not to have heard it.
“Good night,” she tip toed to give me a peck on the lips.
I caught the peck and responded with lust of my own.
The day started before the sun was up and I didn’t get to communicate with Emily till about noon. I called but she didn’t pick up her phone so I sent her a text.
Hello, Beautiful. What are you up to?
I could never understand why she texted back so quickly but wouldn’t pick up the phone.
I’m having lunch with Sarah. What time will you come over tonight?
Probably around 4:00. Tell Sarah I said hello. I miss you.
Will do. If you get there before I do use the spare key by the back door. Miss you too.
I got to Emily’s earlier than expected and found her car but no one to open the door. Possibly Sarah had picked her up and they weren’t back from lunch yet. I went around back and walked in using her spare key. Setting the key on her coffee table, I looked into Emily’s bedroom and found her taking a nap. Unable to resist, I gingerly walked over and crawled into bed with her. She didn’t feel my weight on the bed but quickly froze in fear when I curved my arm around her waist from behind.
“It’s only me,” I answered with kisses to the back of her head.
“You scared me,” she complained turning around.
Rather than pushing me off the bed as I had expected, she curled herself into my body and fell back asleep. We napped till the sun had long gone down and our stomachs started grumbling.
“You want to go out and grab a bite to eat?” I asked her as she stayed comfortably in my arms.
“No. Let me make us dinner.” I was sorry I asked. She got up and went into the kitchen and at the blink of an eye, pulled together a salad.
“What did you make so quickly?”
“It’s a shrimp and crab Louie salad. I had all the ingredients prepared. I just needed to assemble it.” She poured Thousand Island dressing on both our salads and I happily ate.
“Should we go watch a movie tonight?” I asked.
“What time to do you need to get into the hospital tomorrow?”
“I got in early today. I don’t start till 9:00 tomorrow. We can hang out tonight.”
“Okay, but no movie. Maybe we can go rent a movie instead. I feel lazy. I don’t want to go anywhere. Let’s just hang out here.”
“Sounds good. How was lunch with Sarah? What did you eat today?”
“Sarah had some project near downtown so we ate at Langers. I had a pastrami sandwich craving.”
These cravings had helped us meet so I was always happy to hear about them. I got up and cleared our dishes and we sat comfortably in her living room without any agenda. As always, I enjoyed my time with her.
“Emily, I’d love to hear more about your parents. Will you tell me about them?”
“You want to hear about them?” She sounded thrilled. I would have asked sooner if I’d known it would make her this happy.
She ran over to get photo albums and she plopped on the floor ready to begin her journey. She started with pictures of her parents when they were in college.
“Your mom was stunning!” I blurted out.
“I know, isn’t she beautiful? she answered wistfully. “When I was younger, I used to hate it when people told me how pretty she was. Unfortunately I didn’t really appreciate her till I got older.”
“Why would you hate someone telling you your mom was beautiful?”
“Because I was jealous. No one ever said anything remotely complimentary about me. The comment I got repeatedly was, ‘I hope you grow up to look just like your mom.’ It bugged me. Plus, my mom had such a vibrant personality and I was so shy. She was always the life of the party and I was the wallflower in the corner.”
“Love, girls don’t come much prettier than you… even your mom,” I reassured her.
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d seen my mom in person.”
“I’d say it regardless. So how’d your dad get so lucky?”
Emily started cracking up. “Oh, my gosh, that’s such a funny story. My dad told me when Mom got to college, she was the talk of her Texas campus. Every guy wanted to date her. She was in some sorority and every frat and non frat guy had visited her house to ask her out.”
“So did your parents meet a frat party?”
“No, my dad was the antithesis of my mom. He was awkward and extremely shy. He was a senior when Mom was a freshman and they only became friends because she needed help in Calculus and he was her school appointed tutor. He tutored my mom her entire freshman year.”
Emily flipped through many more pages of the photo album. “She was really beautiful, huh?” She spoke rhetorically and sadly touched her mother’s face.
“So my mom was dating some hot shot guy on campus but spending loads of time with my dad because her math skills were so pathetic and they developed a friendship during these tutorial sessions. My dad was probably one of the very few men who was more attracted to my mom’s heart than her face. Do you know what he told me he loved most about her?”
“What did he love most about her?” How could he choose just one or two qualities? I could sit here all day and count the ways I loved my Emily.
“My dad said that Mom was the most caring and attentive person he’d ever met. Every time they were together, she’d bring him a little something to thank him for working with her. She’d bring him lunch if it was lunch time, or a piece of chocolate she knew he liked, or buy him poetry books. My dad was a bit of a poet. He devoured the attention. Oh my gosh…”
“What?” She looked like she’d just had an epiphany.
“I’m dating my mother. You remind me exactly of my mom. You’re both attentive and outgoing and exceedingly sure of yourselves. Oh gosh…” She trailed and went into her own thoughts one more time.
“What?” I asked again.
“Max was the epitome of my dad - shy, reserved and gentle. How sad. I miss my parents so badly I need to date people who remind me of them.” Emily shook herself out of her thought and continued with her story.
“So all this time, my dad loved my mother but didn’t do anything about it.”
“Was your mom into your dad also?”
“I asked that same question and they both said no. She was dating someone else but she said she always thought of my dad as a dear friend.”
“So how did they get together if she was dating someone else?”
“When school ended, my mom was driving home to LA and about an hour away from school, she got a flat tire. She said the first and only person she thought to call was not her boyfriend but my dad. She knew then he was the man she loved and trusted to take care of her. Of course my dad came to her immediately upon receiving the call.”
“And that’s how they got together?”
“Kind of… Remember how I told you my dad was terribly shy?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, Mom knew he liked her but wouldn’t admit it unless something extreme happened. So when he got to my mom, she ran to him and hugged him as if he had rescued her from death.” Emily proceeded to guffaw. I watched and waited for her laughter to die down. “She embraced him dearly and started confessing her feelings. My dad, being in a state of shock, didn’t say a word but tried to pry her body off of him.”
She looked at me and added, “You know, they were in the middle of the 10 freeway and cars were honking everywhere.”
“Did she let go of him?”
“Nope. My mom told me she held onto him till he was forced to confess his feelings for her. You want to know what else she forced him to do?”
I shook my head no.
“He was about to go off to Grad school and she didn’t want to be separated from him so she got him to propose to her and tied him down all within the same hug. Isn’t that insane?”
“Lucky guy! Could something like that happen with you?”
“I doubt it. I’m not brave like my mom. She always knew what she wanted and she went after it till it was hers. Strong and secure would be the two words I’d use to describe her. She rarely wavered. I, on the other hand, take too much after my dad. I’m introverted and insecure. Even if I wanted something, I probably won’t out right tell anyone. It can be a bit of a guessing game with me.”
“So when did your parents get married?
“They got married that summer. Mom transferred schools and finished undergrad while she was married to my dad.”
“You mean she got married when she was 18?”
“Just about… I think she turned 19 right before her wedding day. Here are their wedding photos.”
Emily’s mom looked radiant in her wedding dress. I imagined us in this photo and how beautiful my bride would be on our wedding day. I only needed to convince her that this was our future together.
“That’s a great story. So when were you born?”
“The day after my mom graduated from college. She was a balloon at her graduation. Look at her.” Emily pointed to her pregnant mom with her cap and gown.
“When I was young, I was painfully shy just like my dad. My mom thought she could turn me into a mini-me but failed miserably. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t want people giving me any attention or why I couldn’t speak my mind. The only person who really understood me was my dad. He knew exactly how I felt because he felt the same way.”
“But you’re not shy now, although I suppose you get embarrassed easily.”
“That only happened after my dad died. My dad and I were really close. When I was younger, I was probably closer to my dad than my mom. I was unusually small for my age and my dad carried me around like a little child till I was seven. He understood my need to be alone and my fear of unwanted attention. He showered me with love and affection and protected me from all my insecurities.”
The tears finally appeared. I’d expected them much earlier. She had held off a long while for her standards.
“Then he died when I was in 8 grade and his death devastated me. My mom and I had both lost the love of our lives and our best friend. This was also when I started to finally grow and develop physically. I was a mess in every way when I got to my grandparents’ home in LA.”
She worked to hold back her tears so she could finish her story.
“When we got to LA, my mom went through bouts of depression and it terrified me. I forced myself to come out of my shell and tried to be everything my mom wanted me to be – cheerful, lively and strong. She did her best to stay content and this was when she and I bonded. Even with my grandparents around, we felt like we had no one but each other. Rather than spending time with friends after school, I spent time with my mom. She told me everything she could about Dad up to when my memory clicked and I shared about all my days with Dad when it was just the two of us. She had become my love and my new best friend. Then she died the end of my junior year a few days before my birthday.”
At this point Emily couldn’t hold back. I held her and let her cry. Her body convulsed, she wailed painfully then sobbed softly. There was no way I could erase this pain for her. I realized tonight no matter how much love I gave her, this pain would never go away.
“A year later, Max came into my life and soon became my best friend, my love and my only family. Four years later, I lost him too. My heart’s been severely broken three times. I don’t think I can stand another heart break. That’s why I’m so cautious with us. I’m sorry I frustrate you, but do you think you can be even more understanding of me than you’ve already been and allow me to move at my own pace? I know I’m being unfair to you but this is the only way I can be in a relationship right now.”
What could I say to her? I finally understood her. It really wasn’t me, it was her.
“Emily, I love you regardless of how fast or slow our relationship has progressed. I am happy to do what you’ve asked if you will promise to do one thing for me.”
She looked up at me wondering what that one thing would be.
“Promise me you will stop looking at me as the one who will break your heart but try to accept me as your new best friend, your eternal love and the one who wants to create a family with you. That’s what I want to be for you.”
She nodded her head and agreed.
“By, the way,” I added, “when’s your birthday?” How ridiculous I didn’t even know my girlfriend’s birth date.
“May 20,” she answered.
“No way!” I said in amazement. “My birthday is May 19.”
“Are you kidding me? We have almost the same birthday. How fun!” So child-like, her mood changed from crying to laughing within a sentence.
“We’ll celebrate our birthdays together and for two full days, okay?”
She shook her head yes, again.
It was time for me to leave my tenderhearted girlfriend. As usual, my entire being wanted to settle right here in her house for good.
“Can I stay tonight?”
Emily shook her head no.
“Please? I want to be with you tonight. We don’t have to do anything. Let me just hold you.”
Her head shook no but I saw hesitation written all over her face. Her guard was coming down and she was falling my way.
“Jake, it’s never been so hard for me to say no but I have to do it. This is a promise I made to myself as well as to my mom.”
“But we won’t do anything but sleep.” I started building my case.
“It may start off that way but you know that’s not where it will end. I’m not as strong as you think I am. Look at me earlier today. With you already in my bed, I happily curled up in your arms and slept. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“But Emily… I’ll be strong for the both of us.”
She laughed. “Yeah right! Like you’ll be able to fight me off if I decide to take advantage of you.” She cackled at the thought. “I’m going to the movies with Sarah tomorrow night so I won’t see you unless it’s really late, okay?”
“Alright. I’ll call when I’m done and we can decide what to do. Good bye, my love.”
“Good night, Jake.”
Thursday proved to be a difficult day to see each other.
Good morning, Love. Would you like me to stop by with breakfast?
Good morning. No, I’m still sleeping. Sarah called after you left and we talked till very late last night or better said, early this morning. I don’t want to get out of bed.
What did you talk about for so long?
You.
What about me?
Aren’t you late for work? We’ll talk later. I want to sleep.
Can’t I stop by?
Then I have to get out of bed and be somewhat ready to see you. I’ll see you later. Have a wonderful day. I’ll be thinking about you in my sleep.
That could be construed in a naughty way.
Only by you… good bye!
I got to another full day at work. The Chief and I lunched together in the cafeteria and quickly got back to a couple of afternoon surgeries. The second surgery I assisted for the Chief took much longer than expected and by the time I got out of the hospital, it was way past midnight. As much I wanted to see Emily, I had to go home and pick up more clothes to bring back to Mom’s. With no basic clothing left, laundry was calling my name .
I just got out of work and need to stop by my house in the Valley to pick up some clothes. What are you doing?
I got in about an hour ago from dinner and a movie with Sarah. Does someone live in your house in the Valley?
Yup, I have roommates who haven’t seen me in a couple of months because of you.
These roommates aren’t women are they? Is that why we always hang out at my house? You’ve never taken me to your house. Should I be worried? Allison doesn’t live there does she?
Oh there it was again. I thought we had gone a few days without talking about Allison.
Think what you like. I’m not going to answer any of your questions.
You can be so mean! I guess I won’t see you for a while. I’m not letting you into my house till I get an explanation on your house.
I love you!
Oh like I believe that now. Good night.
Friday and Saturday, Emily and I didn’t see each other because the Chief decided to take a few days off before I went on my vacation. Being so busy I didn’t see much beyond the hospital walls. I texted Emily when I could but even that wasn’t very often.
Hi Sweetheart, what are you up to? I miss you.
Hi! I’m having dinner with Sarah, Charlie and Peter.
Oh? What did you do all day?
Waited around for you to call or possibly stop by. I thought maybe we could have lunch together.
Why didn’t you send me a message? I would have come over for a short while. I thought you were busy today since I didn’t hear from you.
You seemed so busy. I didn’t want to bother you. When are you done tonight? Can you stop by? I miss you a lot.
I won’t be done till really late but I’m off as of tomorrow. I’ll stop by after checking on my patients. We’ll have tomorrow till Thursday together. I can’t wait.
Me neither. I have to go. My friends are upset again. They’re so sensitive, huh? By the way, the answer to the question you’re dying to ask but haven’t is ‘no’. Max is with his family tonight. Bye.
I love you!
My vacation officially began Sunday. Since the Chief wasn’t around, I still stopped by the hospital and checked on all the patients before stopping by Emily’s home. No surprise, she opened her door dressed in pajamas looking groggy.
“How do you function on so little sleep?” Emily asked while getting ready for our day.
“I’ve never needed much sleep. I can do fine on three to four hours a day.” I comfortably sprawled on her bed and watched TV. “What shall we do today?”
Emily pondered what to do.
“Emi? What are some things you’ve always wanted to do?”
“What do you mean?” she sounded confused.
“You know like if money were no object or in your wildest dreams you’d like to…”
“Like a bucket list? Aren’t I a little too young for a bucket list?”
I gave her a stern look. “Emily Logan, your list.”
After a few minutes she answered.
“#1 – I want to hear Andrea Bocelli sing in some outdoor stadium in the hills of Tuscany.
#2 – I want to take a series of cooking class in Italy, Paris or Japan.
#3 – I want to climb all the steps of Machu Picchu.
#4 – I want to eat a formal Kaiseki meal in Japan.
#5 – I also want to go on a dining spree in Spain.
#6 – I want to live in New York City for a while.
#7 – I want to spend a few nights in a hut in the middle of some island – like the ones you see in travel magazines.
#8 – I want to learn to ballroom dance.
#9 – I want to go on one of those trips with that chef from the No Reservation TV show.
#10 – I want to be a judge on Iron Chef.”
None of those seemed too difficult for me to do for her except for #9 and 10.
“I have one more. #11, I want to picnic at the Tuileries Garden with someone I’m madly in love with.”
Another wish that could easily be granted. Okay, so now that I know all the things she wants to accomplish, I will start going down her list. First, I’ll take her to Europe and we could cross off numbers 1,2,5 and 11. That’s half the list. After Hawaii, I’ll beg the Chief to let me off for a couple of weeks in late spring and surprise my love with a European trip. Maybe I could propose to her there.
“Jake… Jake!”
“Huh?”
“What are you thinking about? I was asking you if we can go shopping today. I still haven’t bought your mom a gift. You have to help me buy something for her.”
I told Emily about Mom’s obsession with clocks. No matter where we traveled, Mom always came back with a clock. It was a good thing her house was big or else it would look like a clock museum.
We walked through a flea market and Emily was on a mission to find the perfect clock for Mom. Mom would be touched Emily cared enough to buy her a present. Jane’s glowing report of Emily compounded with my confessions of love, Mom and Dad already loved this girl as their own daughter. I couldn’t wait to introduce them.
“I just realized, the two months we’ve been dating, you’ve never met my parents or Nick.”
“Nope, I haven’t.”
“How did that happen? Why didn’t I take you over to meet my parents? You live minutes from their house.”
“I don’t know? I thought perhaps you were embarrassed to introduce me to them.” She tried to keep her face still but couldn’t help a mischievous grin. “You’ve never taken me out for sushi either and that’s my favorite meal. I had to go with Sarah the other night because I craved it.”
“Let’s go have sushi and meet my parents.”
At dinner I asked Emily to tell me more about her years with her family. Though I knew it was a sad topic for her I was curious about the family I would never meet. Coming from such a large family, I couldn’t imagine being completely alone. I figured Emily would have some aunts and uncles or at least cousins her age. Sadly, she told me her parents were only children and since her grandparents’ death four and five years ago, she’d been alone every holiday.
“So after your mom and grandparents died, who did you spend your holidays with?”
She stared at me, not with tears, but with a wondrous look of love and appreciation. She understood why I was asking these questions and she tried her best to placate my hurt for her.
“I spent a few holidays with Max’s family and a few with Sarah’s family. One Christmas, both Max and Sarah were out of town visiting relatives so I spent it alone. That was a sad Christmas.”
My heart broke. Loneliness marked her big brown eyes, yet her concern was still for me. She smiled and made light of her situation. “I sound so pathetic, huh?”
She fed me a bite of her dessert – a feeble attempt to gloss over both our sadness. I couldn’t believe she had gone through so many painful days before we met. I reached over and held her hand.
“Oh, my sweet Emily… my love… I hate thinking about you being alone. I wish we could’ve met earlier. I would’ve filled your void.” I vowed to her and myself, “I won’t ever let you be alone again.”
After dinner, we called my parents but they weren’t around so I dropped off Emily at home and we separated knowing we would be back together for four straight days.