CHAPTER 8 You’re a What???
Even with only three hours of sleep, the thought of being with Emily all day woke me with a frenetic energy. I showered and went to pick up breakfast for my girl and got to her door exactly at 7:00. I rang the doorbell.
She opened the door wearing a knitted dress with knee high boots. The dress clung to her body and as always she looked stunning. I leaned in to kiss her lips.
“Good morning. Are you ready to leave?”
“Not quite. Come in.”
I handed her the croissant and latte while surveying the house. “Whoa, what happened here? Slumber party?” Peter and Jeff were asleep on the floor.
Emily explained that these guys drank too much to drive home and they ended up sleeping here.
“I think they’re getting up now.” She looked over at them. “Good morning. Did you sleep well? Are you backs okay?” While she talked to them I could only think that I hadn’t even spent the night here yet and these random guys were lucky enough to be with her, though they weren’t exactly with her.
“Jake? Do you still have my spare keys? Can I have them back?” She held out her hand. I didn’t want to give them back but I had no choice.
I watched her throw my keys at Peter so I picked up her coffee with one hand and held out the other for Emily so we could leave. A guilty look dawned on Emily’s face and I quickly followed her eyes to see Max come out of the guest bedroom. He had spent the night as well. Outraged but trying to keep composure for Emily’s sake, I didn’t say a word. Emily looked worried again.
Peter broke my angry mood and asked about going on a road trip with Emily and all of her friends. Knowing Max would be there with her I didn’t want her to go alone but I knew I couldn’t get any more time off after Hawaii.
Hawaii. I forgot to tell Emily about Hawaii.
“Emily, what are you doing next Monday thru Thursday?” Emily’s rattled look turned into a blank stare. “My mom called this morning to tell me we are all going to Hawaii right before Christmas and she wants me to bring you along. You know my family’s been dying to meet you. She’s reserved a seat for you on the plane and you can room with my sister, Jane.”
Flustered, but with a smile, she asked, “With your whole family?” She thought about it some more and then questioned, “How did you get four days off?” This one really stumped her.
I guess I had never told her about Uncle Henry. “Well, the Chief of Staff at the hospital is my dad’s brother. Mom reminded Uncle Henry that I haven’t had a vacation since I got there. It also didn’t hurt that she promised him four tickets to the Rose Bowl game.”
“I see. Are you sure you want me there for four days with your family?”
How could she possibly ask this after my many heartfelt confessions to her? I suppose another reassurance was in order. “I couldn’t think of a better Christmas present than to have you spend four days with me and my family.”
There was a glint in her eyes. “Okay, then. Tell your mother I said thank you and that I’d love to go.”
Emily grabbed a coat and said goodbye and we headed out the door. No more than a few steps out, she stopped me.
“Jake, I’d like to explain about the guys you saw this morning, especially Max. I know that was really uncomfortable and I’m sorry.” It wasn’t so much guilt I saw in her face, but it was more a voice of penitence. She feared hurting me.
“Emily, you don’t have to explain anything.” I tried but couldn’t hide the awkwardness.
“I do. Peter and Jeff went out to the bar with our friend and they got so drunk, they couldn’t drive home. We found them lying on my doorstep and they asked to spend the night.”
“Can I ask where you and Max were at this time? I assume you weren’t with them?”
Now this answer scared me more than everything she’d told me about her and Max combined. After seeing them together last night, this relationship wasn’t completely over for either one of them.
“No. We went out for a bite to eat. I didn’t have any dinner and Max suggested we grab a bite to eat before we met up with the rest of the gang. Our dinner took longer than expected and when we got back to my house Peter and Jeff were comatose on my front porch.”
“Dinner?” I asked in a frightened tone.
Emily’s face broke into a chuckle. I couldn’t understand how she found humor in this situation. “It was literally dinner.” She answered grabbing the hand I let go. “We also had a good talk which I’d like to share with you whenever you’d like to hear about it. Are we okay? Can we go on with this day without us being uncomfortable with one another?” She now softened into her beautiful smile. “I told Max last night that I was really looking forward to spending a whole day with you. Even though we’ve been dating a few months, I don’t think we know each other very well.”
What? How could she think this?
“What do you mean we don’t know each other very well?” While I held her door, she held back her grin. “Get in. We need to get going or we’re going to miss our flight.”
I couldn’t even last a few seconds into the drive, before demanding, “How can you say we don’t really know each other?” I was still flabbergasted at her last statement. This woman, whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, complained that we were almost strangers. We had a long ways to go before I could even broach the topic of marriage.
“Jake.” She sounded slightly piqued this time. “When was the last time… better yet, has there ever been a time where we spent an entire date without being interrupted? Our first date at the Mexican restaurant, what happened? You got paged and went in to perform some surgery. Our second date, brunch, what happened? The Chief sent you to some conference in Atlanta. That’s also when we got into our first argument and couldn’t even talk it through because you had to leave.”
Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought this up. She was making a strong argument in her favor.
“Don’t get me going on our third date to Santa Barbara that ended before it even started. We didn’t see each other for almost two weeks.”
“But, I came to see you at the airport and we worked everything out and I told you how much you mean to me,” I defended myself.
“Only after I postponed my flight twice hoping you would show up. My flight was at 8:00pm. You showed up sometime after 11:00.”
“Didn’t I make up for it in New York?”
Emily leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You did. But I would’ve given up all the luxuries in New York to have spent one full day with you.”
This time, I leaned over and she met my lips.
“You would’ve given up the first class seat?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“The driver?”
“Without a doubt.”
“The suite at the W?”
“Of course!”
“Le Bernardin?” I was truly curious to hear this answer.
“Absolutely… not.” She burst into a cackle. “I told you, as much as I enjoyed Sarah’s company, I wished you would’ve been there with me that night. None of this means much if you’re not with me.”
Heaven. Her answer put me in a state of bliss. How could I not love this sweet girl?
“Your answers might have earned you an unforgettable lunch,” I hinted. “So are you done with your argument?”
“Nope. Let’s not forget last night. You left me stranded before dinner was served. Although I think we managed to spend an entire three hours together. That’s a record, you know.”
“But what about all the times I come by, call or text you?”
“Are you kidding me? The last time you came by my house you got mad at me and left in the middle of dinner. You call from the hospital and have to hang up within minutes. Your texts look like an hour by hour hospital itinerary. How did you ever have a relationship with this schedule? Does your hospital have no other doctors but yourself?”
She shook her head in disbelief and laughed. “So, you see why I’m so excited to spend this whole day with you?”
Sweetly she smiled and put her hand over mine.
“Okay, I get your point.“ I could marry her today but she obviously didn’t think she knew me well enough. “I already feel very close to you but you apparently need more convincing. That will be my mission today. Ask me whatever you like. I’ll answer all your questions.”
“First question – where are we going? Burbank Airport? Could we be flying to San Francisco? It couldn’t be Seattle, that’s a bit too far for a day trip. Any hints?”
“Not a chance. You’ll have to wait until we get there.” Happy to keep her guessing I didn’t give her a clue even though she told me how she didn’t like surprises. What girl didn’t like surprises? Emily could be a bit odd at times.
Out of nowhere, Emily leaned over and my body froze. Her lips slowly grazed my neck and went up to nibble my ear.
“Are you sure you can’t give me a hint?” she whispered.
My foot stepped off the pedal and the car went on autopilot. Though I enjoyed the coaxing, I was forced to ask her to stop before we got into an accident.
When we got on the plane Emily stopped us from sitting in our seats and asked, “You don’t have to go into work today, do you? They can’t make you come back from San Francisco or worse yet, find you an operation to perform up in San Francisco?”
I had to laugh at her paranoia. “Does my job make you that nervous?”
“Yup!” immediately she answered. “I think I’m going to reconsider dating a doctor, or at least I’m going to date a doctor who doesn’t ever have any emergencies.”
I knew where she was taking this conversation. My expression stayed nonchalant. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. “Yeah? What kind of doctor would that be?”
“Maybe a Dermatologist or a Podiatrist,” she answered with a smirk on her face.
With her ring in my jacket pocket I knew she would be solely mine after lunch today. “Trust me, after today, you’re not going anywhere from me.”
She retorted, “Very confident there, Dr. Reid. We’ll see about that.”
My words didn’t carry as much weight as I thought they should.
We landed at SFO and I had two texts waiting for me.
11:00 lunch for two confirmed. Have a great time. Can’t wait to meet the future Mrs. Jake Reid. – Uncle Dave
A box at the opera house confirmed. 6:00pm dinner at Quince reserved. I will send over clothes and shoes sometime in the afternoon. I’m really excited to meet my future sister. See you at dinner. – Jane
Yes! I knew Uncle Dave and Jane would pull through for me. We got a car and drove up the 101 freeway. Taking in the scenery Emily rambled about some of her dreams – one of which was wanting to hear Andrea Bocelli sing in an open meadow in Tuscany. I would be more than happy to whisk her off to Tuscany. When we got back, I would look into taking her. Even better, I would ask her to give me a list of places she wanted to go and activities she wanted to do. She was in a deep muse.
“A kiss for your thoughts?”
She just stared at me.
“Well?” I prompted.
“Where’s the promised kiss?”
As much as I wanted to give her an open mouth kiss, this road was not conducive to such action. Instead, I placed a chaste kiss on her hand.
“I was admiring all the unique architecture.” By the dreamy look on her face, there was something she wasn’t telling me.
“That’s it?”
“My answer was about as exciting as that kiss you just gave me.”
That was challenge enough. I pulled her neck as close to me as possible and gave her the torrid kiss she asked for without getting us both killed. She looked embarrassed but still stayed quiet.
“Well? Shouldn’t that kiss elicit a better answer?”
“I thought it would be nice to go back to Tuscany…”
Now, she was being a tease. I pulled the car over and placed my mouth over hers deeply, intensely, lustfully. How will you react to this, Emily Logan?
“… with you when I’m old and gray…”
YES! I couldn’t have dreamed of a better answer.
“It’s so beautiful up here. Are we spending the whole day here?” With her cheeks a bright pink, she was trying to change to a safer topic.
“Would you like to?” I asked. Perhaps I should have considered letting her decide what to do today.
“Sure. But I don’t really care where as long as we’re together. I’m really happy to be here with you,” she whispered and gave me her version of a lustful kiss.
From the onset of our day, Emily’s attitude had changed. Her words and her actions proved she was ready to move forward with our relationship. She was heading where I was waiting. Something about her time with Max last night freed her from his last grip. Hopeful and excited, I parked in front of our first destination.
Emily’s face broke into sheer excitement. “How did you get us a table here on such short notice?”
Of course she would know where we were. Being the foodie that she was, this had to have been one of the restaurants she wanted to visit. I wanted to be the first one to bring her here.
“How did you know this was my dream restaurant destination? I can’t believe we’re here! Thank you, Jake.” Elated, she hugged me.
She began asking questions about my family while noshing on the first course. Telling her about my immediate family first, then about all of my uncles and aunts and cousins, she looked delighted that I had a big family. While outlining my family tree, Emily devoured her two amuse bouche, the oysters and caviar – which she thoroughly enjoyed, the cured hamachi belly, and the seared duck foie gras. There was sheer happiness on her face as she ate her food as there was on mine watching her eat.
Next came risotto with white truffle and pure bliss fell on her face again. Somewhere along the way she had told me how much she liked white – not black – truffles. Like a child in a candy shop, she thoroughly enjoyed herself.
I finally got to ask her about her family. I felt almost negligent not knowing anything about her parents or siblings and why they weren’t around. My heart broke when she told me that her dad died when she was in middle school and her mom followed her dad when Emily was in high school. Her only relatives, her maternal grandparents passed away sometime during her college years.
She teared when she spoke of her parents. I wished I could’ve been her comfort during those lonely years. Our family would have overwhelmed her with love. I longed to tell her that my love would be sufficient to make up for the loss of her father, mother and grandparents. Oh, Emily. My heart sighed.
Another question I had for her was how she paid for college and living expenses and how she had bought a house already. In the cutest way, she eyed the whole roasted turbot, watching the servers fillet it and place it on each plate with a burnt lemon. She was fascinated by this lemon. She smelled it, tasted it, squeezed some on her fish, then quickly chewed a bite before answering my questions.
“Underneath this weak frame, I have a survival mentality.” She then told me how she worked since high school as a tutor, supported herself through college and bought her current home with her earnings plus money from the sale of a condo her grandparents bequeathed her. What an amazing woman she was. Behind the pretty face and tender heart, she was a true fighter. I didn’t realize she had so much strength in her. It didn’t seem possible to love her any more than I already did but my admiration for her grew deeper with each passing course.
Naturally, I had to pose the most important question. “Can I ask about your relationship with Max? Do you mind telling me? I’d also like to know what happened with you and Max last night if you don’t mind.”
She looked hesitant but began dissecting their relationship. “Max and I met our freshman year and it was absolute love at first sight.”
“Lucky guy.” I was jealous already. “So what about him did you like so much?”
She made me feel insecure as she laughed at my question. “You guys are both so funny,” she explained.
I gave her a why look and she answered, “Max asked me the same question last night.”
It made me feel good to know that they were talking about me and not about themselves.
“So what did you tell him?” I hoped it was something great.
“I think I’ll keep you guessing on that one.” She gave me an adorable wink and I couldn’t help but be even more enamored.
She continued with her wonderful years with Max and how they spent every waking moment together and how she believed they would get married. Emily talking about marriage with another guy didn’t settle well with me. She couldn’t talk beyond today with me but she had thought about the rest of her life with Max. It disturbed me.
“I’m sorry, Jake!” She quickly apologized. My face must have told her what my heart told me. “You didn’t need to hear all of that. I got a bit carried away.” She kept apologizing.
Stupidly, I asked her to continue though she appeared hesitant. I chuckled wondering if she was hesitant to talk for fear of hurting my feelings or because she wanted to eat her well-marbled Japanese beef sirloin. She eyed her meat several times and without looking, there was no doubt her mouth was watering. I watched to see what she would pick – satisfying my curiosity concerning the state of her heart, or satisfying her curiosity of the palate. Happily surprised, I won. Conceivably I was overtaking food as her biggest passion.
She continued at my prodding. “Well, there’s not much more to say. On graduation day, Max appeared nervous all day and tried to avoid me so I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. Instead, after the ceremony, he broke up with me giving me some excuse about not being ready for a serious commitment. Just like that he let go of four years and the bond I thought could never be broken… broke.”
There was sadness in her voice and possibly tears in her eyes. I didn’t want to look at her. Today, she confirmed my fears. She had been deeply in love with Max and their break up shattered her heart and her trust in love. Because she had believed all those years she would marry a guy, who eventually left her, she was afraid to think about marriage with me for fear that I would leave her as well. Our mood had turned dark. I attempted to change it.
“So I’m still wondering how you answered Max last night about your feelings for me.”
She showed a loving smile and answered, “Well, I told Max how comfortable I feel with you. I feel protected and secure and I can be myself with you. Although I’ve only known you for a short while it’s like you’ve been with me my whole life.”
Emily spoke aloud exactly what I felt. I too felt that comfortable with her, like she was meant to be in my life forever.
“I don’t know,” she continued. “It’s a bit strange but you’re the only person aside from my parents who makes me feel entirely comfortable. I can’t quite explain this. Max got very angry with me last night when I told him this.
“You mean you’ve never felt entirely comfortable with Max?” I finally had one up on this guy – and a big one it was.
“With Max, I was always trying to please him. I think I was infatuated with him. Max appeared at a time in my life when I had nobody but my grandparents. My parents were gone and I didn’t have any siblings to share my pain. Max not only became my boyfriend, but he also became my only family. I think I smothered him with my love. Maybe I was a borderline stalker. That’s probably why he eventually broke up with me.”
I had to laugh at this statement or I’d want to cry thinking about the hold Max had on my Emily. She considered him much more than a man to love; she had thought of him as her only family. No wonder he’d had such a profound impact on her. This was probably why she couldn’t completely let go. Who can let go of a family member? But, he was not her family and I needed her to realize he was no longer a part of her life. I would like to be her boyfriend and I would like to be her family. My immediate and extended family would all welcome her with the same love I had. This was the life I wanted to show her.
“You want to know the hardest part about this break up?” she asked me.
Did I want to know? Nope. But she was going to tell me anyway.
“All the loves in my life left me without any warning – my dad, mom, and Max. I don’t think I loved anyone as much as I loved these three people and I felt abandoned by all of them.” She held back those pesky tears. “I had a tough year and a half of letting go. Four years wasted...”
At this point, I wanted to stop talking about Max and give her the ring and ask her to be my girlfriend. But there was a nagging question that had to be asked. Terrified of the answer I held off until I couldn’t any longer. “Are you sure you’re over Max? Do I want to know?”
She started talking about how Max had apologized to her last night and how she had finally found closure. She said, “Yes, I am over him but four years is hard to erase.” This statement didn’t reassure my uneasy feelings. She’d given me more of herself during lunch than she had the last couple of months but I still needed more.
She caught me off guard and asked me about my relationships. Not wanting to explain everyone I’d dated since there were many more than her one Max, talking about Kelley was the only solution. My most recent ‘girl,’ Allison, needed to be kept top secret. Though I talked about Kelley, Emily was so engrossed in her chocolate cake and cinnamon ice cream I didn’t know how much she’d heard or maybe even cared.
To both our delight Uncle Dave had asked Thomas Keller to stop by and say hello. Emily’s face lit up. I’d have to talk to her about how she never looked this excited when I entered the room. He asked her about her favorite dishes and her answers cracked me up. Of course she picked all the dishes that were supplemental charges on top of the hefty pre-fixed tab. This girl was going to be expensive to court.
Nine courses of fine food, an intimate talk with my love, a meeting with Thomas Keller, and a kitchen tour later, we drove back down to the city. Without any explanation, I took her to our apartment near the Ferry building and hoped to rest before starting the next half of our day.
Emily had a bewildered stare and wondered where we were. Since she told me she didn’t like surprises, I’d have to continue surprising her till she got used to it – at least for the rest of our lives together. When I opened the door to our apartment, Emily walked in and studied the place silently. Ending the surprise, I explained that this apartment belonged to our family and that we were here to rest before dinner and the show.
“Dinner? Show? How can you eat again after French Laundry?” She shook her head no. “There’s no way I can eat again today. I am so full. Besides, I have nothing to wear to attend any shows up here. What are we going to watch?”
She looked stunning in her dress but I knew Jane had gone out and picked out something nice for her. I wanted to delight her again. We both headed to the sofa hoping to hang out for a few hours. Relaxing in front of the TV and maybe even taking a nap sounded like the perfect remedy to all our libations.
I brought her as close to me as possible and next thing I knew she was dead asleep against my arms. Carefully, I laid her with me on the large sofa. She was nestled between me and the back of the sofa. My arms cradled her neck and she used my chest as a pillow. This was how I imagined our life to be – a lazy nap together on a weekend afternoon. With both my arms curled around her body, I dozed off with her.
Happily I woke up to Emily’s arm sprawled across my chest. She slept like an angel – my angel – while my lips grazed the top of her head and my hand worked the remote.
“Oh, my gosh.” She awoke sooner than I would have liked. “How long have I been asleep?”
“A couple of hours I think.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake. I can’t believe I fell asleep on you. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep on a date before.”
“It was nice. I rather liked it. You appeared quite cozy.” I kissed her again and wrapped both my arms around her tight.
“Um… I didn’t drool on you, did I?”
Her face turned a cute shade of red. “Do you normally?” I asked laughing at her flustered look.
“I don’t think so but of course the first time I fall asleep with a man, I would make a fool of myself.”
I pondered her statement. What could she have meant about this being the first time she fell asleep with a guy? She broke my thought by trying to get up and get away from me.
There was no way we were changing this perfect position. Instead, I pulled her body up to my eyes. Not aware whose lips reached first, they joined excitedly together. She had wanted this as much as I had. Excited to share in an embrace, I couldn’t keep my mouth in one place. There were too many parts of her body I wanted to explore but with the position that we were in I couldn’t reach beyond her face and neck. She responded to my every touch.
Right as I was about to get up and carry her into my room, there was a knock on the door that was far worse than any pager. I got up and opened the door to the doorman delivering all of Emily’s clothes for tonight. Perusing through the stack, Jane had done a nice job.
“What’s all this?” Emily looked through the rolling rack. “How did this all get here?”
“Jane’s in San Francisco right now and she helped me. She offered to go out and get all this for you. I hope you don’t mind. Jane’s the only girl in the family and she’s always wanted a sister. She’s more than excited to meet you and become your friend. Is that okay?”
“Jane, your sister? Oh, I can’t wait to meet her!” She had that child like excitement on her face and in her voice.
“Jane is quite an opera buff and I remembered you talking about Carmen. So Jane helped out again and got us seats at the opera house and that’s the final half of our date. We are meeting her for dinner so you have to eat again.”
Her face turned into one of sincere appreciation. I’d never seen such tenderness in her eyes before. Something I just said or did made her look at me like I was her answer to love. I didn’t know what I had done but I enjoyed the admiration.
“Jake, this has been one of the most amazing dates. Lunch was a gastronomic feast. Meeting the chef owner was almost as phenomenal as lunch and I’m really touched you figured out how much I like opera. I guess you do listen during our dates even though they’re always cut short. You are an amazing man.” She came to me and put her arms around my body.
“I love you, Emily,” was on the tip of my tongue but I held off just a bit longer.
She and I both went into separate rooms and got dressed for dinner. I got out before Emily, waiting with one more surprise. Finally, this was our time to commit to one another. I did fear Emily’s response to the ring but I knew today we had made huge progress. I held in my hand a box – like the kind a girl would receive when a man was down on one knee about to propose to the woman he loved. This was a tempting thought. I didn’t think she would agree to marriage – yet.
Emily walked out looking dazzling in a formal gown. She curiously eyed my hand.
“I want to ask you something,” I started my thought process with these words. “This is for you.” I opened up her hand and placed the box. “Please don’t be scared. It’s not as serious as it looks.”
She did look scared. Carefully unwrapping the bow and opening the box she looked back and forth between the ring and my face. “Um… it’s stunning but could you explain this ring to me?”
Maybe a quarter inch band with hundreds of diamonds was a bit serious when asking her to be my girlfriend? I just hoped it would fit on one of her fingers.
“Okay… it’s not an engagement ring, I wish it were, though I’d probably buy a bigger diamond if I were proposing, nor a wedding band as you might fear. I wanted to give you a ring that symbolized our commitment to one another.” I didn’t like the way that sounded. I deleted that statement and held her hands. “Emily, we’ve dated a couple of months now and I know you’re not quite sure where we stand in the formal sense. This talk is long overdue. I actually bought this ring for you after our first date. Even back then, I knew I wanted to be with you. I mean, date only you.” I babbled a few more incoherent thoughts then got straight to the point. “Um… I would like for us to date… exclusively date. What I mean is… Will you be my girlfriend?” This was a lot harder to ask than originally thought.
Emily eyed me curiously then giggled. I couldn’t believe I had a ring in my hand, a serious question of commitment out of my mouth and all she could do was giggle.
“Are you going to answer? You’re making me nervous.”
“Okay, so let me get this straight. You spend thousands of dollars to ask my permission to do what we are already doing now? Dating?” Now that she put it this way, the ring did seem a little over the top.
I reminded her that she was the one who needed clarity and a title to what we were doing.
“Aren’t we already exclusively dating? Have you been seeing other girls as well? Is that why it’s so hard to spend any time with you?” This joke I didn’t get nor want to laugh at. She saw the annoyance on my face.
“I haven’t had a desire or need to see anyone else. I feel blessed to be with you.” She reassured me. “I trust you and feel most secure when we’re together. You are the only man I want to be with.” These choice words melted my heart.
“What about Max?” I needed an answer to clear my doubts once and for all.
As much as I appreciated her words, I thought about the two of them last night and felt insecure again. Could there be a possibility she would want to get back together with him again? Like she had said earlier, four years was hard to erase. She studied my face again and knew she needed to reassure me even more.
“I’m sorry you had to witness my first encounter with Max and his new girlfriend. Being such an awkward moment, I didn’t react the way I would have liked. I guess it hurt me more than I thought it would, even with you by my side.”
This was not what I wanted to hear but she continued anyway. “But you and our relationship add so much joy to my life. I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the only person who makes me feel entirely comfortable. I’m elated when we’re together and lonely when we’re apart. Will this answer do? I would be honored to be your girlfriend.”
The second half of her statement definitely made up for the first half. I contemplated telling her how much I loved her. Not wanting anything close to a rejection after her confession just now, I decided to wait, again.
Jane and Emily needed no introduction when they met at Quince. They instantly bonded. They began their conversation talking about New York. I didn’t realize how much Emily liked New York. She told Jane she wished she’d lived there at some point in her life. This was also something I’d have to try and do for her.
“Jake was so miserable when you were in New York.” Jane started talking about me. Emily smiled and squeezed my hand. “You should have seen him at Thanksgiving. We were all seated at a large table and we noticed Jake constantly looking down at his lap. Finally, Uncle Henry went over and grabbed what was in his lap – his phone, of course – and took it away from him. It drove him nuts that he was texting you but you wouldn’t respond.
“Well, by the time you all sat down for dinner, we were towards the end of ours and Sarah’s grandma was telling us stories of her childhood. I couldn’t get up from the table nor could I text in secret so I didn’t respond. I got so many texts Sarah, my best friend, was really annoyed. She told me to go back home if we were constantly going to be on the phone with each other.”
“Yeah, well Jake got into trouble with Uncle Henry but he didn’t care. He got his phone back and kept waiting for your response.”
“In all honesty, I was pretty miserable too. Apparently Sarah and her boyfriend Charlie had a bet going that week.” From the insane kiss she gave me at the airport, miserable was an understatement.
“Really? What bet was that?” I jumped into their conversation.
“Sarah believed I would come crying, begging to go home because I missed you. And Charlie believed I would feel too guilty to say so but instead, you would come to see me in New York.”
“So who won the bet?” Jane asked. “Who was more correct?”
“That’s hard to say. Sarah was right because that’s exactly what I wanted to do but Charlie was also correct knowing I couldn’t do that to my best friend. Also, if I hadn’t stopped him, your brother would have spent Thanksgiving with us in New Jersey. I guess they both know me too well.”
After today and Emily’s many confessions, I felt like I knew her quite well. She appeared comfortable talking about her feelings concerning me as well as her past feelings concerning Max. We had made huge progress today as I had hoped.
“The whole family can’t wait to meet you,” Jane said rolling her eyes. “Jake couldn’t stop talking about you at Thanksgiving. Supposedly he did the same at Uncle Dave’s birthday, one day after meeting you.”
“I’m nervous I’ll disappoint. I think Jake’s gone around telling too many exaggerated stories.”
“I have not,” I said. “The family’s only expecting the most beautiful and gracious woman, which would be you.”
“Great!” This time Emily rolled her eyes. “Now I’ll absolutely disappoint.
Unnecessarily, Jane retold many stories about me and Kelley and she started telling Emily about my temperament. Like a typical younger sister, she only explained the bad side of her older brother. Emily joined in her bandwagon and complained about me being a workaholic. Jane had asked her what she liked about me and Emily was being coy with her answer.
“Tell her, Emi,” I encouraged.
Her eyes glowed when she finally professed. “Jake has this amazing way of making me feel like I’m the only person in this world who matters to him. I feel incredibly special. Not only is he attentive, he’s a caring and loving person.”
She got it! That’s exactly how I felt about her and how I’d wanted her to feel. She was the one who mattered to me. Leaning over to kiss her I whispered, “That’s how I want you to feel, always.”
“Thank you. I do,” she responded with her own embrace.
Then I explained what I loved about my Emily. There weren’t too many things I didn’t love about her but Jane reminded me we only had so much time before the opera started.
“If I had to sum up what I love most about Emily, it would be her honesty. Even though she knows it’s not to her benefit, she’ll still tell you what’s in her heart. I know way too much about her last relationship.” I shook my head in displeasure.
Emily looked mildly alarmed. “Was my honesty at lunch not to my benefit? Am I in trouble?”
It never ceased to amaze me how easily I could make her feel loved and anxious all within the same breath. Even after today, my girlfriend still couldn’t convince herself that I cared for her deeply. Once again I reassured her.
“I appreciate your honesty whether or not I appreciate your answers.”
Jane asked many questions about how we met and I went into our long story of the first night at the ER and the next two days we spent together.
“By the way, why are you guys going back down tonight? Jake, didn’t you ask Emily if she wanted to stay the weekend?” Jane posed a question that earned her whatever she wanted for Christmas. She turned to Emily, “You should stay with us in the apartment and go down tomorrow night. We could spend another day together. Are you uncomfortable with me being in the apartment? Do you want to be alone with Jake?”
I remained quiet and deferred all answers to Emily. Tongue tied and flustered, Emily paused… turned to me for help – I didn’t help at all – then answered Jane. “Oh, no, Jane… I don’t feel uncomfortable with you. Jake didn’t fully explain what was happening today.”
“Then you’ll stay the night?” Jane sounded excited, but not nearly as excited as I was at the prospect of spending a night with Emily.
“I’d love that Jane,” Emily relented.
Reaching over to hold Emily’s hand, she appeared nervous and in deep thought about something. I just tried to hold back my humongous smile relishing spending two full days plus a night with my girlfriend.
“So Jake, anything else you want to tell me about Emily?” Jane startled the both of us.
Emily excused herself to go to the restroom and I hugged and kissed my sister. She pushed me away with a disgusted look.
“What was that for?”
“That was my way of thanking you for getting Emily to stay the night. I asked her on Friday and she flat out turned me down. What do you want for Christmas? I’ll get you whatever you ask for.” My grin traveled from ear to ear.
“You’re so lame! I didn’t do it for you. I want to get to know my future sister. I did it for me.”
“You could see her as a part of our family too, huh? Isn’t she fantastic?”
“Yeah, she’s pretty great. She’s so genuine and kind and very charming. I don’t know why she likes someone as selfish as you.”
“That’s not all she is. Let me tell you some other qualities you don’t know about my Emily. I love her strength. I’ve never met any girl who is such a survivor. She’s been on her own since high school, put herself through college, and then bought and created a home all by herself. She has worked for everything she has. Nothing has been handed to her. And yet she smiles and enjoys life. Her attitude is amazing.”
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Emily stop, waiting for me to finish, but also listening to what I had to say. Her once flustered composure turned dreamy and I could see her lips curling the way only she could smile. I continued with a vow just loud enough so she could finally understand how much I loved her.
“But as strong as she appears she’s terribly tenderhearted. I think this is what makes me so enamored with her. She hurts easily, cries readily, but loves deeply. She makes me want to care for her and shelter her from anything that may harm her. I’ve never felt such a strong desire to protect someone as I do for Emily.”
“Wow, Jake. I didn’t know you had it in you to love anyone so selflessly. I’m impressed and shocked. You’re not the Jake Reid I grew up with. Maybe Emily forced you to grow up,” Jane chuckled.
Emily chose to ride with Jane over to the Opera House only on the condition she would ride home with me. They were going to stop by some of the stores in Union Square to pick up bare necessities for the overnight. In the meanwhile I got to the venue early and thought about renting binoculars when I saw these cool binoculars with built-in extendable handles for sale. I purchased one for Emily and after a second thought, Jane, too.
Sitting and waiting patiently in the box, a pair of hands covered my eyes and whispered, “Guess who?”
Always playful, I matched her surprise by grappling her arms around my side and pulling her onto my lap. My lips instantaneously landed on hers to stop her loud whoop from disturbing others in their boxes. Jane made some cheeky comment but smiled watching us have fun. Emily pulled away the second I let go of my grip.
“How many times do I need to tell you I don’t like PDA? It’s embarrassing!” she whispered, moving to her seat.
I put my arms around her as she sat down and leaned into her ear. “Okay. We’ll continue when we get home.” I felt her body stiffen as I gave her one last kiss on the back of her neck.
Several times during the opera I looked over at my love to see her engrossed in the performance. When we got back to LA, I’d have to look into getting season tickets to the opera. Mesmerized and moved by the show, I waited for the tears but surprisingly, there were none. No different than the supermarket, she had no idea I was watching her more than I watched the show. Jane glanced over at us a few times and gave me an encouraging smile.
“How did you like Carmen?” I asked Emily on the way home.
“I loved it. Never did I think I would enjoy opera this much. It stirred my emotions in so many directions. I was sad to see it end. Most of these are stories of unrequited love, huh?”
“I guess. I’ve never thought it that way. You were completely absorbed in the performance. You didn’t even notice me the whole night.”
“Yeah, I did. I saw you watching me more than you watched the show. I notice a lot more than you think I do, especially where you are concerned.”
I didn’t mind the sound of that. She paid more attention to me than she led on.
“Did you know I was staring at you the night we met at the market?”
“Kind of, but I thought you were looking at me not out of interest but because you thought I was weird for staring at cereal boxes at midnight.”
We both laughed. “That’s not wholly incorrect.”
Back at the apartment we changed and met back in the living room. Without any prodding, Jane excused herself to make a phone call and Emily looked tense possibly because I looked so excited.
“So… where will you sleep tonight?” I asked. “My room, Jane’s room, or alone behind door number 3?” I pointed showing her where each room was located.
There was a long, unbearable silence.
“Jake, I need to tell you something.”
I didn’t like where this was going already. What could she possibly want to tell me in the middle of this conversation? She knew where I was headed. All she needed to do was follow.
“I guess it’s time to confess since we’re at this juncture. Maybe I should have told you before accepting your ring. You might have had second thoughts about wanting me as your girlfriend.”
She sounded like a school girl at confession again. This was definitely not going as I’d planned. “You’re making me nervous, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” she kept reassuring me but I couldn’t trust her. “I want you to know that I’ve never, um…”
Yes??? The suspense almost killed me.
“Well… I’ve never slept with a man before. You are literally the first man I fell asleep with earlier today, though nothing happened. I’m not planning on being with you or any man till I get married.”
I processed everything she just told me. Relieved to know I hadn’t done anything wrong; confused as to how she and Max had held off for so long; happy that she had been with no one else; but chagrined realizing that she would not be with me tonight - these ideas all flashed through my head.
“You mean you and Max have never…”
“No, we’ve never been together in that sense.”
“But how? You dated for four years.” I needed to know! After this revelation, I respected Max a lot more. It couldn’t have been easy watching your girlfriend hold out on you for four years.
“It was hard but I really wanted to save myself for whomever I might end up marrying. My mom was old fashioned and she wanted me to wait till I got married. This was a promise I made to her before she died and I’d like to honor her wishes. Also, watching my parents love each other, I thought it would be most special with the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.”
“What if that man isn’t as pure as you are?” Though there weren’t that many, I definitely couldn’t say she would be my first. Listening to Emily’s reasoning, perhaps I would have liked for her to have been my first love in that sense as well.
“That’s alright. It would be most perfect if we were each other’s first but I can’t expect everyone to have the same beliefs. Are you okay with my confession? I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier. I didn’t quite know how to approach this subject. Are you upset?”
Her head fell downward and she worried again about being in trouble. I must have done something wrong during our short relationship to cause her such alarm so easily. This needed to change somehow.
“Disappointed, yes most definitely yes!!!; upset, no. I guess this happily speeds up our timetable,” I answered aloud. I was disappointed for tonight but glad thinking this was one more reason to ask her to marry me as soon as possible.
I kissed her goodnight and watched her walk into Jane’s room. Frustrated, I stayed in the living room and watched ESPN. The same highlights aired half-hourly and conversation coupled with bouts of laughter echoed through the night from Jane’s room. Somewhere between bouts of angst and frustration, I must have fallen asleep on the sofa. Darkness and the flashing of infomercials greeted my weary eyes. It was probably close to 5:00am but I washed up and decided to go for a bike ride to get rid of all this curbed energy.
Was our conversation last night a nightmare or was it a reality I had to ask myself. Was I really to wait until we got married? I didn’t want to think about this right now. I needed some fresh air. Browsing through the newspaper I skimmed to see what was going on in the world.
“Good morning,” I heard my girlfriend whisper.
“Good morning, Beautiful. Why are you up so early?”
“I can’t ever sleep well outside my own bed. Are you going somewhere?” She had noticed my biking attire.
You had no problems sleeping in my arms yesterday was what I wanted to say but I held back. Scared but willing Emily agreed to ride with me through the city. I didn’t know if having her next to me was the best solution to relieving this tension but knowing that she was up, I wanted to be with her.
“What do you want to eat?” Of course I knew Emily’s answer.
“How about a greasy donut or an almond croissant and a latte?”
I led her out with our bikes and we headed south into the Mission District. She would love Dynamo Donuts and their Four Barrel coffee and Tartine. Who wouldn’t love Tartine?
“Wait,” she hollered. “You’re not thinking of riding all the way into the Mission District, are you?”
“Yup, you know this town better than I thought.”
“Yeah, I’ve been around the block a few times in this city.”
Considering my angst-filled night, this was not the right euphemism to use. “Apparently you don’t go all the way around the block in any city,” I answered sarcastically and rode off.
Her cackle echoed half a block down as she huffed to catch up to me. Emily’s response to my bitter pill faired light hearted as she coaxed her way towards a warmer response. I didn’t know if I was capable of giving it to her. I knew I was being childish but I didn’t want to accept the answer she gave me last night.
Dynamo Donuts looked like a bike a thon as all the cyclists had the same idea this morning. We locked up our bikes and stood in line to order.
“Which one is your favorite, Jake?” It cracked me up how excited she got over the simplest things.
“I like the maple glazed apple bacon.”
“Eew! That’s my least favorite. Let’s look at the chart. I wonder if they’ll have banana de leche.” She was too busy reading the wooden menu plaques to notice my piqued expression. “What a bummer, they don’t have caramel de sel. I love that sweet and salty combo.” Now she was just talking to herself. “Jake?”
“Yes?”
“Can we order one of every donut?” Her eyes popped open at the thought.
“I guess…” I answered unenthusiastically. “Go grab us a table. I’ll bring everything over.”
“Thank you,” she beamed and kissed my cheeks.
After eating way too many donuts, we biked several blocks over to Tartine. I needed to help Emily get her almond croissant fix. Standing in line, I pouted at her confession again. In a sour tone I asked, “Do I need to buy one of everything here too?”
Emily glared at me without her usual smile. She was tired of my pouting. I could tell I was going to be in trouble.
“Jake, are you going to be upset with me every time we’re in an overnight situation?”
“If I say yes, will you do something about it?” Let’s see how you’re going to answer that.
“Yup, I will.”
“You will?” Maybe my pouting worked. She sounded like she was going to give in. YES!
“I’m going to have to make sure we are not in this situation ever again. You’ll have to apologize to your parents for me and tell them I can’t go to Hawaii with you.”
You have got to be kidding! I put myself in a worse situation.
“Emily…” I whined. I had lost. The white flag was up.
Emily got close and gave my lips a quick peck. “Will you be okay with Hawaii or should I stay home?” She was grinning. She saw my invisible flag waving with the San Francisco wind.
Annoyed, I tried to shake free of her hands. Uncharacteristically, she grabbed me and kissed me amorously in front of a long line of people. I couldn’t help it. I was a sucker for her affection. I caved and smiled.
“Jane was wrong about you. I find you adorable when you’re mad.” And she kissed me once more.
After taking bites of more food – a morning roll, frangipane croissant, bread pudding and Croque Monsieur – we needed to ride off our full stomachs. I picked a long route back to the apartment and Emily bravely rode along. She didn’t complain. As usual, she was a trooper. We dropped off all the food and bikes in the apartment and I held Emily’s hand over to the Ferry building.
“Where are we going now?” She sounded tired.
“The Ferry building – I need to buy something for today.”
During my sleepless night I contemplated what I would like to do for Emily today. A picnic made the perfect sense. Watching her enjoy the oysters yesterday I thought she would like to go up to Point Reyes and eat at an oyster farm. Hopefully this would be another first for her.
“Where’s the farmers’ market? They have one of the best ones here.”
“They don’t open on Sundays,” I answered.
“What a bummer.”
The shopping spree began at Sur la Table with a picnic basket.
Her eyes twinkled. She looked thrilled, not to mention darling. “Are we going on a picnic?”
“Maybe you are not a part of the ‘we’. Didn’t you prefer Jane’s company last night? I’m taking someone else on a picnic today.” Regret surfaced quicker than the last two sentences. She and I both thought I had lost my five year old attitude back at Tartine – wrong! I needed to get back in her favor.
She quietly followed me to Miette while I bought two of every Parisian macaroon they had. Her eyes lit up immediately at the sight of this bakery when we first walked into the building. It was their featured baked good, Parisian macaron, that most likely caught her eye. I also purchased condiments for the oysters such as caviar, hot sauce and mignonette; and other picnic items such as wine, cheese, crackers and deli meat. Of course I couldn’t forget the coffee to go with dessert.
Emily stayed uncommunicative – absolutely no expression shown – and I tried not to let this worry me as we went back to the apartment.
Jane was finally up. “Why did you guys ride this far?” she asked while noshing on all the food we brought back.
“I don’t know. Ask your brother,” Emily responded with a hint of anger.
Uh-oh. She was upset. I ran after Emily and grabbed her hand before she could walk into the shower.
“Are you mad?” I asked.
“Yes.” Though her voice was mad, her face looked happy – almost a giggly kind of happy. I couldn’t tell which one was the real Emily.
I apologized then tried to kiss her but she moved away. I gave her a hurt expression.
“Jake. I can’t be in a relationship with you if you continue to stay angry with me for not having sex with you. Here, let me give you back this ring.”
She started fumbling with the lock. I guess she was serious about not having sex till she got married. Holding her hands hostage behind her back, I kissed her long and hard. We both needed air but I wouldn’t let her go. Her struggles began and ended within seconds. She willingly and enthusiastically participated.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t be upset anymore,” I said in between more kisses. “But I’m still going to try to get you in bed every chance I get.”
“I’d be worried if you didn’t,” she responded with a heavy kiss of her own.
I gave in to her purity demands… for now.
Since my ‘ablutions’ took half the time of my girlfriend’s, I packed up our picnic basket and got us ready to leave. Tenderly, Emily came up behind me encircling her arms around my waist. Without looking, we knew each other had a smile.
“Thank you for this special weekend. You have made many of my dreams come true. You are too wonderful!”
I wanted to embrace her but Jane walked out and Emily turned to ask her if she was joining us today.
“No,” Jane and I answered simultaneously. Jane didn’t look happy I didn’t invite her. I didn’t care.
“My old roommate, Allison is coming over and we’re going out for lunch.”
“Allison?” I asked wondering why she would be up here hanging out with Jane. I hoped I didn’t have a look of guilt when I asked this question.
Emily looked at me with an inquisitive stare and Jane gave me a peculiar one. Please, Jane, if you’ve figured out our connection, don’t give it away to Emily, I begged in my mind.
Too late as Jane shouted, “Oh, my gosh. You didn’t finally succumb to her wiles, did you? Jake! Did you two date? Did you sleep with her? You’re such an idiot! No wonder she kept asking about you.”
Whatever Christmas present I promised Jane – canceled! I couldn’t believe she revealed my past to Emily. What would Emily think now, especially after she told me how she wanted to save herself for someone special? She might believe I went around sleeping with every girl I dated. Crap!
I kept mum to all questions and rushed Emily out the door. Aargh! There was Allison, rushing over to see me. Even with my one hand on the picnic basket and the other holding Emily’s hand, Allison came and hugged me a little too longingly for comfort. If panic had yet to set in, it went into overdrive when Allison kissed me on the mouth in front of my girlfriend. Emily abruptly let go of my hand and stepped aside. My heart did a nosedive and my sense of alarm sped out of control.
“Hello.” Allison introduced herself to Emily. “I’m Allison, Jake’s friend.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Emily, Jake’s girlfriend.” Even in the midst of this scary situation, I chuckled to myself. Emily actually had a mean side to her. She most surely told Allison who was in charge here.
“Jake. I rushed over here because I need to talk to you. Can you spare a few minutes for an old flame?” She sounded desperate.
I was about to say no when Emily whispered, “I’ll see you at the car.” She was graciously walking away allowing us to talk and helping me out of this so very unnecessary ménage a trois.
As my love walked away, I turned to Allison and asked, “What is it?”
“Jake, I’m moving back to LA and was wondering if I could stay with you at your house. Would you want to be with me again?” Her tone was a lot more suggestive than her words.
“No!” I had to cut off the oxygen supply to her hope. “I’m in love with Emily. She’s the girl I plan to marry so if you’ll excuse me…” With that, I left Allison and ran to the car.
I prayed Emily wasn’t crying. Very slowly I opened the car door and Emily was sitting there calmly listening to music. Her face was unreadable and her body language, unapproachable.
“I’m sorry about…”
“It’s okay,” she cut me off.
“Don’t you want to know why she was here?”
“I prefer not to know if that’s okay with you. I know you didn’t live under a rock before you met me. You’re thirty. I’m sure you’ve dated many girls before I came along. I prefer not to know what you did before us, okay?”
She sounded hurt and I, too, was a bit hurt she wouldn’t let me explain that nothing happened. I understood what she said but the many girls I dated couldn’t compare to the one man she loved enough to want to marry. I drove without saying a word.
Emily must have sensed my disappointment. She put her hand on mine. “Jake?” She tried to start up a conversation.
“Hmm?” My mood, glum, I didn’t really want to talk.
“Why are you so quiet? Did I do something wrong again?”
I couldn’t understand why she always thought she was in trouble with me. “Emily, why would you think you did anything wrong?” It shouldn’t have but it did sound like I was accusing her of some wrongdoing.
“Well, generally when someone stops talking to you, it’s because they’re upset with you. Alright… let me explain why I don’t want to hear about that vile woman.”
That was funny. My laughter broke our solemn mood.
She started by telling me about all the disturbing thoughts that went through her mind as she was waiting for me in the car. “Watching her kiss you unsettled me to a point where my mind raced in all directions jumping to conclusions about your relationship with her, past and present. Unpleasant would be a mild way of explaining what I felt.”
“This doesn’t make me feel any less guilty,” I told her.
“But then I thought about what you had to witness on Friday with me and Max and I decided whatever I felt this morning couldn’t have compared to what you must have felt meeting my only boyfriend of four years. So, I thought it only fair to let everything go and enjoy the rest of the day.”
As expected she was thoughtful and insightful. She knew exactly how I felt when she wouldn’t let me explain my side of the story. Perhaps she would understand soon how deeply I loved her and how much I wanted her to know every part of my life. Very possibly, I would confess this to her soon.
We spent a brilliant afternoon picnicking. We bought a bag of oysters and I shucked while Emily assembled them with all the condiments we bought. We thought of Charlie and Sarah as more than half the food we bought went uneaten. When we were done, Emily lazily sprawled out on our blanket. She looked radiant gazing at the scenery.
“What’s on your mind, Beautiful?”
“Um… I was wondering whether or not I should kiss you.”
What an odd thought. “Why would you wonder that? What’s stopping you?”
“Because you kissed another woman – a vile but stunning woman – this morning.”
“But I didn’t kiss her! She kissed me.”
“It doesn’t matter. Your lips touched. They’ve been defiled as far as I’m concerned.” She fell to her back and started laughing.
I pounced on her and covered her mouth with mine regardless of how she felt about Allison or PDA. Locked in our embrace she didn’t resist. Our closeness lasted longer than I would have ever anticipated in public.
“Jake?” Eventually pulling away she called out my name with gentleness. “How did you know Parisian macarons are my favorite dessert? I don’t think I ever told you this, did I?”
A bit of a random question but I could tell this was important to her. So many times she fell into a child-like awe and wonder about my attitude and feelings for her. She still didn’t get her place in my life. There was none higher than Emily on my scale of importance – apologies to my parents and siblings.
“You have this almost wistful look in your eyes when you talk about or see something you like.” She looked excited when I told her this.
“That’s exactly what my mom used to tell me. While you call it wistful, she called it covetous. How boring and predictable am I when you’ve figured me out this easily and so quickly,” she sighed.
“On the contrary, I find you to be the most interesting and desirable woman I’ve ever met. I can’t get enough of you!” I declared.
“That’s only because I’m the one girl who hasn’t jumped into bed with you on the first date.” With that she proceeded to take a bite of each of the macarons and finish only the ones she liked.
This weekend had come and gone far too quickly and to my chagrin, reality awaited my return to LA. Paused on the tarmac, Emily couldn’t keep her eyes open. I pulled her into me and held her to sleep. While she dozed off, I finally professed what I’d been wanting to tell her all weekend.
“I love you, Emily,” I whispered and kissed her off to sleep.