CHAPTER 33
LIAM
This has been the best morning I’ve had in a long time, from the moment when Noah and I woke up Josie with her gift to the unwrapping of mine. I can’t wait to spend hours combing through every photo Josie gave me. Even though I’m not in them, having pictures of Noah when he was a baby, toddler and his first Halloween costume means everything to me.
I know I told Josie I can be patient, but I’m not sure I can. Seeing her in my bed, with her long dark hair spread across the pillow makes me want to claim her as mine. I knew I was a goner when I walked upstairs complaining about being hungry and she offered to make Harrison and I lunch.
Seeing her move around my kitchen like she owns it makes me want have her here every day, but I’m afraid. She was with Nick for a long time and you just can’t turn off your emotions.
I should know.
I tried.
The sound of the doorbell saves me from making an error in judgment. Swinging the door open, her back is facing me but I’d know that head of blonde hair anywhere. She turns and smiles as she steps in.
“Hey, baby,” she coos. I swat at her hand when she tries to touch my face with her fake fingernails.
She just shrugs and opens her coat; she’s clad in a barely-there bra and panties. Her stockings are held up by garters. At one time I found them sexy, but not so much anymore.
“Sam, what the—”
“Oh my god!”
I turn at Josie’s gasp. The look on her face isn’t anger, but hurt. She runs up the stairs, and the slamming of my bedroom door makes me jump.
“Cover yourself up. There are children in the house.”
I walk away from her toward the dining room. I don’t want her anywhere near the living room with Katelyn and the girls. Katelyn comes around the corner and motions that she’s going upstairs. I nod and prepare for what I’m about to do.
“Sit down, Sam, we need to talk. And keep yourself covered.”
I sit across from her. It’s a safe distance so I won’t hit her and she won’t try and touch me. “I spoke to Brandon the other day.”
“Me too,” she says happily.
“This would be the day the mother of my son showed up demanding that I return her son to her.”
“I took care of all that, baby.”
“Sam, I’m not your baby and I’m never going to be. What you did was wrong on so many levels. I never doubted that Noah's mine. I also don’t want custody. Josie wasn’t some girl I met backstage; she was my girlfriend. How did you even know about Noah?”
She shrugs and starts looking at her fingernail. I know her game, this is the ‘I have the answer but I’m not giving it’ game. I slam my hand on the table to get her attention.
“I’ve been with your dad’s agency since I started and never once have I questioned the integrity of his firm, but right now your job depends on it. I suggest you answer me.”
“I didn’t know you wanted him,” she mumbles.
“What did you say?”
Sam rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. She’s acting bored. “Someone claiming to know you called the agency when you first started. I put the messages in your file.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, my hands clenching. “You knew I had a son and didn’t tell me?”
“My dad said it was bad for your image.”
“HE’S MY GOD DAMN SON!”
I get up and pace, my hands pulling at my hair. “She said she called and left messages. You took her calls and listened to her beg. Are you that much of a bitch, Sam? That woman calling you was my girlfriend and she was pregnant and scared and you ignored her. You kept my son from me. My god, how f*cking heartless can you be?”
“Daddy did what was best.”
“You’re fired. I’m done with you. Get out of my house.”
“Liam—”
“Don’t,” I hold up my hand for her to shut the hell up. “I said I’m done. I don’t want you here.”
“You need me.”
“No, I don’t. Get. Out.”
“You heard him.” I turn to find Josie leaning against the entry way. Her arms are crossed and she’s been crying. “This is our house and you need to leave. You’re not welcome here.”
“Is this what you want Liam?”
I can’t help it. I smile at Josie and wink. “Yeah, she’s the boss. If she says go, you go. Brandon will send you the separation agreement by the time you reach your car.” I pull out my phone and text my lawyer to finalize the paperwork he started yesterday.
“You’ll be sorry.”
I step closer to her. “I’m already regretting the past ten years with you and your dad, so no, I won't be.”
Sam gets up and walks to the door. She takes one look at me and shakes her head. I know she’s about to cry and I don’t care. As soon as the door closes, I pull Josie into my arms and hold her as if this is the last time I’m ever going to get the chance.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m so very sorry for not being there for you,” I tell her repeatedly. She strokes my hair, comforting me when I should be the one down at her feet groveling for forgiveness. With one single message all of this could have been avoided.
Katelyn and Harrison watch everything as it goes down. Harrison starts clapping when the door slams. I knew he was never a fan, but Sam made us money. Guess we’ll have to figure that part on our own.
“Well, that was interesting,” Katelyn says. Harrison looks down on her, his smile wide. I’m going to have to tell him to chill when it comes to Katelyn. “Just so you know, if you need a manager or something, I can probably help out for a bit.”
“You’re hired,” Harrison blurts out causing Josie and I to laugh.
I shake my head and drag my friend away from his newest obsession. Although, I guess if Katelyn is going to start dating ever again, Harrison would treat her right.
Harrison and I emerge from the studio well after dark. He carries a sleeping Quinn upstairs, telling me goodnight along the way. I stay in the kitchen, ready to clean up the dinner mess. I told Josie and Katelyn I’d clean since they cooked a full dinner and dessert for everyone. When I flip on the light, however, there isn’t a dish in the sink or on the counter. I look around and notice the small touches of Josie everywhere, fresh flowers on the windowsill, hand lotion by the sink and – the most obvious – our matching mom and dad mugs from Noah. They're sitting side by side next to the coffee pot, which is already set to go off in the morning. This means one thing.
She’s planning on spending the night.
That means I’m sleeping on the couch.
I shut off the kitchen light and check the back door to make sure it’s locked. I check the front door as well and turn off the remaining lights. I decide to leave on the candle lights that sit in the windows. I’m hoping Josie is still awake and maybe can talk.
We haven’t really talked since before Nick left and I need to know where her head is. One moment she acts like she wants to be with me and the next she can’t stand to be in the same room as me. I don’t want to pressure her though, but I also don’t want to sleep on the couch.
One concern I have, and shouldn’t, is the relationship between Nick and Noah. Noah hasn’t said anything about Nick leaving suddenly and has seen me kiss his mom. This is not the example I want to set for him. I want him to learn boundaries and respect for women when they're in relationships with other men. I have not done that with Josie. Of course, Liam Page never cared. But Liam Westbury does.
Josie is sitting on the couch looking through my photo album. Her legs are covered with her grandma’s afghan, the nameless cat curled up in her lap. There is a soft glow around her, her dark hair being held back by the white ribbon Noah used to wrap her necklace in. I lean against the wall and watch her as she studies each page, every now and again her face lifting in a smile.
“Are you just going to stand there and watch me?”
I push off the wall and walk toward her. She closes the book and adjusts the way she’s sitting. I take the spot next to her and pull her legs into my lap, the cat hissing at me. She laughs and sets him on the floor. “I like watching you. I have a lot of time to make up for.”
“Not with me,” she replies softly.
“Yes, with you. I’ve missed so much. Like the day you opened your flower shop or how you came up with the name Whimsicality. I missed the day you brought Noah into this world and saw him for the first time. I missed your late-night cravings and his midnight feedings. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there, Josie. I won’t. I know you’re about to tell me it’s okay, but it’s not. I trusted the wrong people to take care of me when I'd left behind the one person who would’ve taken care of me the best. I was selfish and scared and instead of talking to you, I ran.
“But I promise you, I’m done running. I’m still selfish, but only where you and Noah are concerned. I have years of spoiling to make up for and I plan to spend every day of my life making sure you both know how much I love you.”
Josie wraps her fingers around mine. “I’m trying not to love you. I’m telling myself that this is just a show for you, to make Noah happy. I’m so afraid to show up one day and walk in and find that you’ve moved on because I’ve taken too long to make up my mind about us.”
I knew she would feel like this, which is exactly why I didn’t push myself on her.
“I’ve looked for you every day of my life since I left you in your dorm room. Every show, pub, or appearance I did – I thought for sure you’d show up somewhere. Not once, not even a glimpse. I desperately wanted to see you, just once. When I read about Mason, I knew I had to come. I told myself I’d show up and leave, in and out and no one would know I was here. But I ended up leaving a few days early because I wanted to see you just so I could tell myself I did the right thing.”
“Why did you leave? You’ve never said?”
The dreaded question, the one I knew she shouldn’t have to ask. I should’ve just told her the first day I saw her in her flower shop.
“When I got to college…” I shake my head feeling stupid. Now that I’m an adult, I should’ve done things differently. “God, Josie, it sucked. Mason was supposed to come with me. I mean we planned this and then he goes and changes his mind. I was there – he wasn’t and you weren’t. I was lonely and hated everything about it.
“This one day, I’m sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself and I get this call. She tells me her name is Betty Addison and I’m so confused until she tells me she’s my grandma.” I rub my thumb over the top of her finger. “She wanted to have lunch and talk so I did. I had nothing to lose and never had a chance to get to know her, so I met her. We spent a week together, having lunch, talking and getting to know each other. She told me things about my mom and why they don’t speak to each other. I learned a lot in that week.
“She asked me what I wanted to be if I wasn’t going to play football. ‘What’s your passion, Liam’ she asked me. I told her music. I had been spending a lot of time on campus at open mic and I loved it.”
“I wish I had known that you loved music that much.”
“You had this dream and I didn’t want to change that for you. I was doing what was expected, but Betty – she invited me to Los Angeles so I went and loved it. I knew I had made the best decision for me even though it meant destroying us.
“Thing is, I never expected to see Noah in the bathroom that day, but it was like fate or some shit telling me that my life is in Beaumont. I went right to your shop and waited. I watched for you and once I saw you, I knew I was going to end up chasing my girl, waiting for you to turn around and see… the real me and love me for who I am and not what I did to you.
“I’m standing in front of you, Josie. You just have to turn around.”