CHAPTER 10
JOSIE
I never thought I’d see this day. I’ve had many dreams of the day Noah would meet Liam, but never like this. I resigned myself to thinking Noah would look up Liam when he turned eighteen. They could fight or bond or do whatever it is fathers and sons do when they first meet each other. The only thing I didn’t want was for Noah to hate Liam for not being around. I could’ve tried harder to tell him, but I didn’t. I was selfish and wanted to hear his voice. I wanted him to hear my voice and come home. I was angry and it took me a long time to get over that anger.
Now watching them outside, deep in conversation I want to wrap them up in a tight bubble so they can never be away from each other. I know that’s not fair to Liam – he has a life away from here that’s vastly different. He’s different, yet so much the same boy that I fell in love with all those years ago.
The boy I never stopped loving.
Looking at Noah and Liam side by side, there’s no denying they’re son and father.
Liam keeps eye contact with Noah each time they talk. I know Nick is pissed that Liam is here and honestly so am I, but what can I do? Noah knows who Liam is from living in Beaumont. He just doesn’t know who he is and I think I want to leave it that way, at least for now. Liam will be gone soon and we’ll all go back to normal.
“What are you thinking?” Katelyn rests her head inside the crook of my elbow. Her small, five-foot-two frame that doesn't quite reach my shoulder allows me to wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer.
“I’m not sure,” I say. “There are too many emotions flowing through me.”
“He looks just like him,” she says keeping her voice low and away from prying guests. “What are you going to do?”
I shake my head because I don’t know. I haven’t a clue what I should do. My brain is saying ignore it and Liam will go away again, but my heart is telling me to go out there and demand that he be part of Noah’s life. It’s the least he can do since he’s been absent for the past ten years.
“He’ll be gone soon. Maybe I’ll just let him call the shots.”
“Not too soon, sweetie. He’s watching football with Peyton on Sunday. A lot can happen in three days.” Katelyn kisses me on the cheek and leaves me to stare out the window at two of the three boys that own my heart.
The drive home from Katelyn’s was quiet. Nick held my hand and Noah fell asleep before we pulled away from the house. He spent the rest of the day talking to Liam about stats and perfect field position while Nick watched from the sidelines. I know there were a few snide remarks made to Nick, but he brushed them off.
“What are you thinking about?” Nick asks as he slides into bed. He props himself up on his elbow, clearly ready to discuss everything that has happened today. I just want to go to bed.
“You know Katelyn asked me the same thing earlier. She was more concerned about me when I should’ve been taking care of her.”
“She knows you love her.” He places his hand on my waist, bunching my silk pajamas into his fist. “Today was…”
“Difficult, sad, not expected, odd. I could go on and on, but nothing really sums up what today was. A clusterf*ck, maybe?” I shift closer to Nick and he brings his arm around me, pulling me closer. His lips trail down my neck until he reaches my lips, kissing me softly.
“We should talk about Liam and Noah. I know I’m not Noah’s dad, but I want to be, you know this. I was wrong for the way I acted today, so very wrong for lashing out at you about Liam and I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” I run my fingers through his hair. “I don’t think Liam will want to be a part of Noah’s life right now, but maybe later. Maybe we should just leave it alone; he’ll be gone soon.”
Nick pushes my hair behind my ear. He cups my chin and pulls me closer. “I love you, Josie,” he says before kissing me. His kiss is soft, not rushed, like he’s taking his time to memorize me. Almost as if he’s desperate.
I love him, I do. But seeing Liam with Noah I can’t help but wonder about what the future holds and how Nick and I can fit together.
“Hey Josie!” Katelyn and I turn around to see Liam Westbury walking toward us. Katelyn is a traitor and leaves my side. She’s laughing as she walks away. My palms are sweating and my legs suddenly feel like jello.
This year I finally noticed him. He grew up so much over the summer that I really didn’t pay attention before when we were at Katelyn’s house. Then he went away to football camp for a month and came back totally hot.
I’ve been dying for him to take off his shirt just once so I can have a clear visual of his abs because my imagination just isn’t cutting it.
“Hey,” he says. He’s holding his football helmet in one hand. The other is tugging at the collar of his jersey, one that I want to rip off.
“Hey,” I say stupidly.
“How was the rest of your summer?”
“It was good. I read a lot.” I read a lot? Oh my god he’s going to think I’m a nerd. What the hell is wrong with me? The ground hassuddenly become very interesting as I stare at my shoe while it pushes a rock around.
My skin tingles when he lifts my chin, his sky blue eyes boring into mine and all I can think about is jumping into his arms and stuffing my tongue into his mouth. I’m only fifteen, but I’ve watched movies. I'm sure I can figure it out.
“Will you go to homecoming with me?”
“Homecoming?” My mind can barely comprehend what he’s asking. But I swear to god he said homecoming. As in get all dressed up and dance. That means he wants to dance with me, hold me against his body and sway to cheesy love songs. The same love songs I play at night when I’m writing Josephine Westbury in my notebook.
“Yeah. I have my driver’s license now so I can drive and I thought—”
“Yes!” He jumps and starts laughing. “Sorry,” I say covering my face with my hands.
He pulls my hands away but doesn’t let go of them. When he leans forward I feel as if I’m going to pass out. He smells like Old Spice, my new favorite smell.
“Please don’t cover your face. You’re far too gorgeous to hide.” He kisses me on the cheek before walking toward the field. “I’ll call you tonight.” He turns back and yells before he takes off running.
I wake up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down my face. Nick is snoring softly beside me, his arm pinning me to the bed. I maneuver out from underneath him and make my way to the bathroom.
With the light off, I sit on the edge of the tub and cry into a towel, muffling my sobs. I never thought I’d see the boy who stole my heart and failed to give it back.
I’m not sure I want it back.