He shook his head. “I’m staying.” Though he was breathing, his eyes were dead. He was already a ghost.
I stumbled away, passing from the safety of the first-class cabin into the chaos and destruction that made up coach. There was so much blood. I gagged on the smell of burning flesh and freshly spilled life. My stomach heaved, and the contents spilled out into the aisle in front of me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the horrific scene before me, passengers broken and trapped between collapsed seats. Bodies were strewn about in haphazard disarray, limbs bent at unnatural angles.
And then I saw him, contorted impossibly. Connor.
I could hear my own breath coming fast and shallow in time with the rapid beat of my shattered heart. There were no sounds of life, no cries for help, just eerie quiet. I knelt before his broken body, the pain in my own all but forgotten.
I lifted the arm he’d thrown over his head. And then the screaming began, because the high cheekbones and wide smile were no longer the way I remembered. Half of Connor’s face was crushed.
*
I woke in a cold sweat, screaming into my pillow.
Telling Sarah had not acted like a salve at all. It had torn the wound wide open, and now I was bleeding guilt and anguish with no idea how to stanch the flow.
10
HAYDEN
Friday sucked ass. I had back-to-back appointments all day long. Nate stopped by with his design ideas, but I didn’t have enough time between clients to go over them with him. I promised him we’d do lunch so we could catch up and start planning. I didn’t even have five minutes to run across the street to buy a damn coffee and see Tenley.
As a result I spent the day on fixation overload. I couldn’t stop thinking about Tenley and her tattoo. It was a vicious cycle. At first I would think about the alterations I already made to the design, and then I considered its placement on her back. From there it would spiral out of control, because I started contemplating how I would deal with being around her when she was topless. That kind of thinking invited images of her fully naked. Like I said, vicious cycle. Thank Christ for boxer briefs that kept things in place and shirts that concealed.
Tenley had already disappeared into her apartment by the time I finished with my last client, so I took Jamie up on his invitation to come by his place for a beer. I needed the unwind time, and I wanted to avoid the bar scene. Lisa had gone out with friends and wouldn’t be home until later. Chris decided to come along, rather than engage in yet another evening of try-and-score-with-the-waitress. Apparently he hadn’t made much headway since we were last there. I didn’t comment, since there was still residual tension between us after my confrontation with Damen and Sienna.
Jamie’s place wasn’t far from the shop, so I hopped into his car with the intention of walking home later. Chris followed on his crotch rocket, which gave Jamie a chance to grill me.
“Chris told me about your blow out with Damen.”
“He had it coming. Damen’s always on Chris about merging, like he thinks it’s Chris’s decision.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly.”
“Come on, Hayden. Chris thinks you’re mad at him.”
“I’m not.”
“You sure about that?”
I’d been short with Chris, maybe a little less patient than usual, but I didn’t think it was that bad. “I ran into Sienna on my way out. It didn’t go well.”
“Well, that puts things into perspective.”
“How so?”
“I’m guessing Chris didn’t tell you Sienna propositioned him after you left?” Jamie asked.
“Are you shitting me?” Sienna could mess with me all she wanted, but there was no way I’d let her use Chris to get to me. She’d manipulated him before, and I wouldn’t let it happen again. “What kind of proposition?”
“The usual kind.”
“Please tell me he didn’t take the bait.” Chris had made some bad decisions in the past, but I couldn’t see him falling for this one. Not again.
Jamie shook his head. “Chris was riled, man. I don’t think he expected it. Anyway, you know how he gets. He’s stressed. He can’t deal when he thinks you’re mad at him.”
“He should have said something.” Chris didn’t usually keep things from me, even if he expected me to get pissed.
“He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to make things worse.”
“But I’m not pissed at him,” I said, exasperated.
“Maybe not, but he’s got it in his head that you are. You know the way Chris is. He’s not going to be himself until he’s sure everything is copacetic between you two.”
“Christ. If having a girlfriend is anything like dealing with Chris, I’m not interested.”
Jamie snorted. “That is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve heard come out of your mouth in a long ass time.”
“Keep fishing, I’m not biting.”
“Whatever, man. That’s confirmation enough for me.” He gave me one of his all-knowing smiles. “Anyway, what I’m saying is cut Chris some slack. He’s family.”