“No one’s ever going to get you like I do, Hayden. But you know that, don’t you? It’s why you come back every time.”
I spun around, closing the distance in two angry strides. I leaned over her, stopping when I was only an inch from her face. The stench of cigarettes and vodka hit me, but neither eclipsed her overpowering perfume or the hint of men’s cologne clinging to her skin. I felt like a volcano ready to explode. Her eyes were alight with excitement; she’d pissed me off on purpose, thinking she’d get what she wanted. It was a strategy that used to work.
“Stop kidding yourself, you manipulative bitch. The only thing you know about me is the dimensions of my dick. All we’ve ever done is fuck. That’s it. Any feelings you think I might have for you don’t exist. They never did.”
Sienna’s smile was spiteful. “You keep saying that, like you think one of these times I’m going to believe it, but here you are. You’re just like a little lost puppy, aren’t you? Straying away from home, but always coming back when you find out nobody wants you.”
I didn’t answer, avoiding the truth in that statement. The pattern of behavior was undeniable. Just as Sienna kept coming back to The Dollhouse, so did I. Although after all this time I couldn’t explain why. Maybe I was looking for some proof that I was above this, like she said. I didn’t want anything to do with her ever again, and the current confrontation only helped solidify that stance. If I’d been honest with myself, The Dollhouse was the last place I should have been, drowning in the memories of a time when I’d been too messed up to deal with my mistakes.
“Have a nice night.” I turned and headed for my car.
“See you soon, Hayden,” she called after me, laughing.
“Let’s hope not,” I mumbled, sliding into the driver’s seat.
6
TENLEY
Wednesday didn’t start out well. Nightmares kept me awake half the night and I slept through my alarm. By the time I woke up, I was already late for my meeting with Professor Calder. The lots close to my advisor’s building were full, so I ended up parking on the opposite side of campus. I took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, aware I was making a terrible second impression. Our first meeting at the start of the semester hadn’t gone smoothly, and I’d hoped to be better prepared the second time around.
I knocked on his half-open door.
He glanced at me from over his glasses, disapproval unmistakable as he beckoned me inside. “Miss Page? how kind of you to show up. Are you so eager to be demitted from the master’s program already?”
“I’m sorry, Professor, my alarm—”
“Excuses are offensive. Shut the door and take a seat.”
“I didn’t mean—”
He raised a hand. “Stop talking.”
I sat in the chair opposite his desk. He stared at me until I looked away. I tried not to fidget. Or cry. Initially, Professor Calder had been pleasant enough over email, praising my ideas and the foundations of my research. He’d seemed genuinely intrigued by my focus on modification as an emergent cultural norm. But in person he’d been standoffish and blunt to the point of cruelty. I had no idea what I’d done to warrant the extreme change.
“I’ve been through your introductory research. It’s abysmal. You’ll need to go through the suggested revisions by next Wednesday. If it isn’t much improved, we will need to discuss whether or not you have the ability to meet the rigorous demands of this program.”
I looked up at the sound of his chair rolling across the floor. He rounded his desk, papers in hand. They were covered in red marks. “Do you have anything to say, Miss Page?”
“Thank you for seeing me even though I was late. It won’t happen again.” I couldn’t get anything else out for fear I would break down.
He sighed dramatically. “Next week is busy for me. I hadn’t planned on coddling you so much. You’ll have to come in early. Will nine o’clock pose a problem for you again?”
I shook my head.
“Pardon me?”
“Nine o’clock will be fine. Thank you, Professor.”
He handed me the papers. “Now go. I believe you have to teach in fifteen minutes. I wouldn’t advise you to be late for that, too.”