CHAPTER 38
It was the Monday after Thanksgiving. Trey was back to work. Jean was at the apartment cleaning and keeping an eye on Preston while I was rearranging my closet.
I was going thought my clothing and shoes; separating stuff that I no longer wore into a pile so that I could drop it off at Goodwill. I was going to do the same in Trey's closet and in Preston's.
I tossed a load of clothing and shoes out of the closet onto the bedroom floor deciding I would fold them out there where there was more room. As I turned back to grab the second pile, I accidently knocked the bigger of the two blue velvet jewelry boxes off of the top of the built in dresser. It fell to the floor spilling the pearl necklace out onto the floor. As I leaned over to pick up the jewelry box that had landed upside down I turned it over and realized that it had a false bottom.
The velvet covered bottom was crooked. There was a small satin ribbon along the bottom edge of the oval shaped jewelry box. I grasped the looped ribbon and lifted it up there was a stack of handwritten papers underneath the false bottom.
I pulled them out and looked at the cursive writing on the lined steno-pad paper. They were in order by date. It looked like someone had been keeping a diary in a steno pad and had torn these pages out.
I sat down on the floor of the closet and started to read them.
October 20, 1989
Matthew convinced me to go to some high class cocktail party at the Hotel D'Iberville tonight. He said I might meet a rich bachelor. I should have known not to believe him!
I met a very handsome young judge there. His name is Preston Tylar. He's 28!! We talked and talked. I went to his room with him thinking we were just going to continue talking. How stupid I am! I drank champagne with him. I liked the way it tasted and the way it made me feel. I didn't mind it when he kissed me at all! He was a very good kisser. He told me that he wanted to make love to me. I told him that I was a virgin and didn’t believe in casual sex. He laughed and said that I was playing my part very well - ???
He kissed me all over and his hands got underneath my clothing. His lips and tongue went to places on my body I didn't know existed!! He made me feel good but I knew it was wrong. I said no to him but before I knew it he had pushed himself inside of me. It hurt like hell!
When he finished he kissed me all over my face and my neck and whispered how sweet I was. He saw the bloody sheets and then he looked at me and saw my tears. He pulled me into his arms and said he was sorry! He said that he thought I was a prostitute!! I cussed him out good!!
He drew me a bath and I soaked in it for a long while. He said he would get me home but I didn't want to leave him for some reason. I was confused and ashamed to some degree because some of the stuff he had done to me felt so good. I am a horrible person!!
I told him I wanted to cuddle all night but not to get any ideas about repeating his animalistic behavior with me! He did as I said. I fell asleep with his arms around me.
During the night I woke up and I knew that I needed to feel the good part of him again. I rolled over and I kissed him on the lips. He woke up and was confused but then he started kissing me back. His lips moved all over me.
He undid my robe and kissed my breasts.
He went lower still and made love to me down there with his mouth and his tongue! I didn't know a man could bring that kind of pleasure. My hands found him and touched him there. He called me his sweet Marley.
I asked him if it would hurt like before. He said it probably would not so I told him to go ahead with it.
He asked me if I was sure. I told him that I was. He told me that I needed to relax to let him in. He kissed my neck and my face. He whispered sweet things to me telling me how sweet and perfect I was. He entered me slowly and gently and it didn't hurt. He pulled me to him and told me to tell him if it hurt and he would stop. He went in and out of me and it felt wonderful. I told him that it felt good and that he pleasured me.
A wonderful warm feeling was building up inside of me and I moaned because it was so intense. He asked me if I wanted him to stop. I begged him not to stop! He kept on and the feeling got stronger and stronger. I pulled him so very close and cried his name out. He moved faster and faster and then he cried my name out and kissed my lips as he emptied his seed into me.
We curled back up and went to sleep making no mention of what we had done. I asked him to drive me home in the morning. I was embarrassed to look at him after what I'd let him do to me and the way that I had liked it.
He apologized again on the way home. He said that he wanted to see me again. He wanted to make sweet love to me. He told me that he was getting married and that he wished he could get out of it.
My heart broke when I heard that! I asked him flat out if he was still going to get married after what we had done together last night. He said that he had to but he still wanted to be with me. I told him that I didn't roll that way!
October 25, 1989
Preston Tylar has been sending me flowers every day! He calls on the phone nearly every day too! I cry at night in my bed thinking about how I let him ruin me! I don't take his calls even though Matthew wants me to. I hate Matthew for what I now know that he is! I hate that my own sister hadn't warned me about him and the kind of monster that he is. I know what he makes Maggie do! He won't do that to me! I will see him dead first!
October 30, 1989
Preston Tylar came to our house this evening! Matthew called me downstairs and told me to go into the parlor. He shut the door behind me! Preston came to me and hugged me tightly. He gave me his business card and said if I ever needed anything to call him. I could reach him at his office number. He gave me two beautiful blue velvet jewelry boxes. One had pearl earrings in it and the other one a pearl drop necklace. He said that they belonged to his grandmother and he wanted me to have them. I'm not sure why.
He leaned down and kissed me ever so sweetly, pulling me against him tightly. I could even feel him get hard down there. He said he was getting married soon but that he would never forget me. He whispered "I love you sweet Marley," into my ear. He left stopping on the way out to say something very quietly to Matthew that I couldn't hear. He jabbed his finger into Matthew's chest and then left. Whatever he had said shook Matthew up good. I went upstairs and told Maggie about it. I collapsed across my bed and cried. Maggie was getting ready for one of her "dates." She said the best way to get over one man was to get another one underneath you as soon as possible!
I don't ever want to have my heart broken again but I will never be the way Maggie is! I guess I love Preston Tylar.
December 3, 1989
I took a home pregnancy test today. I'm pregnant with Preston's child. I made the mistake of telling Maggie and of course she went straight to Matthew! Maggie wants me to tell Judge Tylar but I won't do that. I won't disrupt his life. I promise that I will love this child with all of my hear t though! I hope boy or girl it's as pretty as its daddy! Preston Tylar is so handsome!!
July 1, 1990
I saw in the paper today that Preston James Tylar was appointed as a federal judge in Baton Rouge. His picture was in the paper. He is so beautiful. His wife was standing next to him.
July 14, 1990
My beautiful baby girl was born today! She was born behind a veil which Miss Trinity says is a sign of good favor from the Lord! I am so happy because I was afraid God would be angry about me having a bastard child. Miss Trinity gave me directions on how to preserve the caul. She said to keep it intact for good luck going forward. I want to go back to Mississippi.
I hate Matthew. Maggie hates him too! I want out of New Orleans. Maggie and I are both tired of Matthew's bossy ways. He has not crossed me at all since Preston said whatever he said to him that day we said good-bye. I don't trust him though. He is way too shady. Maggie is afraid of him big-time.
July 17, 1990
I'm calling my baby Tylar Jamie Renaud. She is so very precious. I am breast feeding her and she takes very well to it. She sleeps in bed with me. I don't want Matthew near her! Maggie bought her some diapers. Matthew told me that I had to sign up for welfare benefits. I'm so ashamed…
July 21, 1990
I took Tylar to the doctor today. We got the medical card for her. Matthew made sure I signed up for food stamps also.
The doctor says that she is a very healthy baby. I am going to make sure that she stays that way! I'm getting out of here as soon as I can find a way to do it! Maggie says that Matthew will hunt us down and kill us if we try to leave. Let him try!
That was the last paper in the stack of my mother's notes. I felt the tears streaming down my face. My poor mother. Why had she been too proud to call my father? If she had, she would be alive today I was sure of it.
I folded the notebook papers back up and put them in the top dresser drawer. I would make copies of them in Trey's office. I wanted my father to read them. I had to smile as I recalled that my father had left out one important part of the story: the part where my mom had awakened him during their only night together wanting more. Did he think my knowing that would somehow make me think less of her? Dad needed to understand how I rolled.
I finished up cleaning out all of the closets before Jean was ready to leave. I paid her and said that I would see her on Thursday.
Preston was ready to eat so I got some of the pureed food out to see how she did with it. I had made some banana mixed with rice cereal. The Baby M.D. website I visited said it would keep her bowel movements firm.
She loved the taste of it ready for more each time she took a spoonful. She even made the "Mmmm" sound. She finished a small jar and I cleaned her face up. I settled down the on couch in the living room with her and turned on the flat screen. I raised my shirt up as I hadn't put a bra on yet today and let her have at it.
Trey called while I was still nursing her. I grabbed my Blackberry from the coffee table.
"Hey you," he said, "I miss you."
My butterflies swirled as I smiled into the phone.
"I miss you too Trey."
We had spent a great week together under less than desirable circumstances. We always managed to get through it.
"What are you doing?"
"I just finished feeding Preston and now she's getting a little 'num-num' before I put her down for her afternoon nap. I've been cleaning out closets all morning."
"You didn't get rid of any of my stuff did you?"
"Of course not honey," I lied.
(I was beginning to see that Trey was a bit of a hoarder when it came to his clothes.)
"Trey I found something pretty interesting in my closet?"
"What? More of those damned sex toys that Gina bought for you?"
"How did you know that they were in there?"
(He obviously has snooped in my closet at some point in time!)
"What did you find?" he asked anxious to change the subject.
"One of those blue velvet jewelry boxes had a false bottom I discovered when I knocked it over. There were diary notes in it that my mother had written."
"Really?" he asked, genuinely interested.
"Yeah - it was kind of surreal reading them. They're about when she and my father had their night together; about being pregnant and about me being born."
"I'd like to read them," he said.
"I want you to read them. Hey, have you ever heard about babies being born under a veil?"
"That's a new one to me," he replied.
"Well apparently I was according to my mother's notes. At least that's what the mid-wife or witchdoctor told her at the time," I chuckled.
"I think I will look it up online."
"Okay baby. I will see you this evening then. What's for dinner?"
"Turkey croquets," I replied.
"Tylar next year can we please get a smaller turkey?"