He got up, switched on the kettle, and pulled two mugs off a shelf.
I don’t like milk much. If I can, I always have lemon in my tea. He had a little saucer with slices of lemon already prepared. I had a throat-closing vision of him carefully slicing a fresh lemon every morning. For someone who was dead. Who would never …
He really was in a bad way.
I remembered again what Mrs Partridge had said. Remembered the books, the snake, and my picture – all my stuff carefully placed and dusted. Laying the table for two. The slices of lemon. There was no way he was with Izzie Barclay. I’m an idiot.
I felt suddenly cold and tired.
He came and perched on the edge of the sofa and looked at me.
I said again, ‘In my world, you died.’
He seemed calm, so I continued. ‘I was in my office, laying out next year’s schedule.’
No need to tell him we were estranged. Not now, anyway. And definitely no need to tell him why. There might be a Joe Nelson in this world who would need protecting, too.
‘The phone rang. I was heavily into twelfth-century France. It was you. You were in Hawking but you sounded miles away. I thought at the time …’ I stopped.
I thought at the time that he had sounded as if he was on the other side of the universe. Suddenly, for the first time it struck me – I’d spoken to him not ten minutes before I saw his body, but his hands were cold. He’d been dead a long time. And I’d spoken to him on the telephone …
He said, hoarsely, ‘I called you. You were late for lunch. Again. I said …’
‘You said, “Where are you?” and I said, “In my office…”’
‘And I said, “Lunch?” And you said, “What?” And I said, “I’m waiting …” And you never came.’
I shivered.
‘I should get a doctor. Take you to St Mary’s.’
‘No. I’m fine. The wound is closed.’ I swallowed. ‘They found you in Hawking. In Number Eight. The Boss sent you back. In your pod. There’s a memorial stone in the churchyard.’
He said, hoarsely. ‘They found you in your office. You still had an assignment in your hand. Julius Caesar. The Boss had to shut down St Mary’s for two days. People were in a state. Peterson was just … Markham too. And Izzie. Kal had to be driven over from Thirsk. She was in no condition to bring herself.’
He stopped.
‘Tell me, Leon. What happened next? What did you do?’ Where was Bitchface Barclay in all this?’
‘I buried you.’
I tried not to catch my breath.
‘And then …?’
‘I tried. I tried to carry on. People tried to help. But you weren’t there. Ian was amazing. So was Izzie. I don’t know why you said what you did. She was one of your best friends. You surely don’t think … She drops by, sometimes, just to talk. That’s what I thought when I saw you. Everyone tried so hard, but you weren’t there. You just weren’t there, Max. Everywhere I looked, you weren’t there. So in the end, I left. I couldn’t handle it. We’d been going to leave; to set up home together. So that’s what I did. I left and started a new life.’
No, he hadn’t. He’d built himself a false construct – a fantasy world in which nothing was real.
‘And Dr Bairstow let you go?’
‘Not willingly. Not willingly at all. He made me serve a six-month notice, hoping all the time, I think, that I would change my mind. He still visits once or twice a month, although there’s no need. Sometimes Ian comes too.’
‘Why didn’t you go back to your own time?’
‘You would have been even further away …’
I nodded, taking all this in.
‘What about you, Max? What did you …? I mean, how did you …?’
‘I stayed at St Mary’s. You were there. You were everywhere. Everywhere I looked, there was some place where we’d had a conversation, or sat together, or kissed. Every time I looked up and saw a door closing, it was as if you’d just left the room. The whole place was permeated with memories and I couldn’t leave them.’
Silence.
‘Why are you here? How did you get here?
‘The answer to both those questions is that I don’t know. As I said, I was stabbed. It hurt. I fell forwards onto a pile of leaves and found myself on your carpet. As to why I’m here, I have no idea. Only half an hour ago, I was dead. Or as good as. I’m struggling a little with the events of today.’
He sat still, staring at his hands, nodding.
‘So, what’s next, Leon?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, do you want me to leave? In which case, can you ring St Mary’s and see if they’ll take me in? I can’t go to hospital. I’m dead in this world. I don’t know how I’m going to get around that. I don’t really know anything at the moment.’
‘I think you should stay here. I’d like you to stay here. At least for a little while. But …’