‘Stand up.’
I did, and was suddenly back in SickBay. The change was so abrupt, I rocked on my feet to get my balance.
I was in the men’s ward. Tim lay in the bed by the window, head turned, looking at the dark world outside, his arm heavily bandaged. A single battered yellow rose lay on his bedside table.
I said, softly, ‘Tim?’
He turned his head.
I have no memory of getting across the room, but suddenly I was on the bed. He got his good arm round me. I hugged him as tightly as I could.
‘Tim …’
‘Max! Oh, my God, Max. They found you. You’re alive.’
‘And you. You made it. I knew you would. How are you?’
‘Absolutely fine. Even better knowing you’re here. What happened? When did they find you?’
I sat back. ‘They didn’t.’
He took in my blood-soaked dress and my tangled hair. I probably didn’t look good.
‘Then how did you get back? How did you get away?’
‘I didn’t.’
He lay back on the pillows. I could see him trying to work through the implications and not understanding any of them.
‘Max?’
‘I’ve been allowed back, Tim. Just for a few minutes. I’ve been given a chance to say goodbye. Don’t let’s waste time with questions.’
‘Goodbye? Are you – are you leaving St Mary’s? Where are you going? What is happening?
‘There’s something I have to do and it’s important. But I only agreed to do it if I got a chance to say goodbye to you. That’s why I’m here.’
My voice wobbled horribly because I’d suddenly realised I would never see him again. Ever.
‘I’ve come to say goodbye.’
He wouldn’t accept it.
‘No. No. You can’t leave.’
‘I can’t stay, Tim. This is a fatal wound. I can’t come back.’
I was crying now and so was he.
‘Please, Tim, don’t. Be happy for me.’
‘I thought you were dead. That you’d given your life for me. I’m happy you’re not. I’m crying for me. You can’t leave.’
‘I must. I made my choice at Agincourt and I don’t regret it. Not for a moment. Please don’t you regret it either.’
He was silent a moment and then said, quietly, ‘There won’t be any more adventures, will there?’
‘Yes, of course there will, Tim. For us, there will always be adventures. Just not together any more.’
He shook his head. ‘This arm is probably never going to be the same. And even if it is – I’m not sure I want to do this without you.’
‘Tim …’
‘It was always you and me, Max, wasn’t it?’
I smiled through my tears, ‘Ever since you peed on me. I think it left some sort of imprint.’
‘I’m off the active list. Probably for good. Apparently, I’m going to be Deputy Director. Can you believe that?’
‘You’ll be superb.’
‘Yes,’ he said, with a touch of the old Tim. ‘I probably will. But you won’t be here.’
‘You’ll have Helen, who loves you more than she’s prepared to admit. And Kal. And everyone here. You’ll do great things, Tim.’
Someone tapped on the door.
He tightened his grip.
‘People are upset. Can I tell them you’re not dead?’
‘Tell the Boss.’ I couldn’t bear the thought of him sitting in silent grief when there was no need. He’d lost Leon and now me. ‘Give him my love. Tell him I’ll think of him every day. And now, I don’t want to, but I have to go.’
‘No. Please. Can’t you stay a little longer. This is all the time we’ll ever have.’
‘I can’t. I’m sorry, Tim.’
He said, desperately, ‘Do you remember – that night at Rushford when I gave you that golden rose? For my golden friend, Max .’
I swallowed. ‘I do. I kept it for ages. Do you remember our night at Nineveh?’
‘I remember you yanking us out of the Cretaceous period. You were as pissed as a newt.’
I laughed through my tears. ‘I remember how bad you smelled.’
‘I don’t think you have any idea how much I’ll miss you.’
I stopped laughing. ‘Yes, I do know. I know exactly how much.’
I tightened my grip. So did he. We might only have three good arms between us, but we were holding on to each other like two people who knew they’d never, ever, see each other again.
‘I wish we could begin it all again, Max.’
I touched his face and we kissed, very gently and sweetly. Such a lot was said but not spoken. A lifetime of memories with him kaleidoscoped through my head. I could feel his tears running down my face.
‘Max …’
‘Tim, my dearest friend …’
I held his face between my hands, we looked at each other for the last time, and then I was back in the little living room.
She gave me a minute while I blew my nose on my sleeve.
Finally, I was able to say, ‘Thank you.’
She inclined her head. ‘I shall leave you, now.’
‘Wait. You can’t go yet.’