“I’m glad she liked them. I’m sorry I missed you when I dropped by, I thought I could grill you; um, I mean to feed you.”
“Grill me huh? About what?”
With a long, dramatic sigh, Suzy said, “Don’t act dumb babe, it’s so not you. I know that your love life has hit the skids for some reason. From the looks of Jason, I don’t think it’s his idea. The man looks like he has been run over by a truck. Candace who has been filling in for you says he never leaves the office. He’s there when she gets there and there when she leaves. She suspects he has been sleeping there. I’m even starting to question his bathing habits, ugh. So what gives with you two? And before you even say it, I know I’m nosey as hell but hey, it’s part of my charm, right? You seemed so happy with him, what happened?”
“Oh Suz, I wanted him to be something he wasn’t,” said Claire sadly.
“And what was that?” asked Suzy.
“I wanted him to be the man of my dreams, not the man of my nightmares.”
“Babe, I don’t get it, was he into freaky stuff or something? He sure doesn’t look like the type, although he does look yummy.”
“Um Suz, earth to Suz, come back now. What I mean is he’s just like my father.” Suzy was quiet for so long, Claire wondered if she was still there. Over a bottle of wine one evening, she’d told Suzy all about her years of abuse at the hands of her father.
“Claire, why would you think that?” asked Suzy.
“Remember when I told you Jason tried to loan me money and the fight we had over it? You explained to me that he had helped several people you knew.”
“Yeah, so you’re still mad about that?”
“No, other things have happened Suz, things I can’t get over.”
She went on to tell her about the papers she’d found in his briefcase while they were in Charleston, about the incident at the hospital and then finally what Billy had told her.
When she was finished Suzy for once was actually speechless. “Wow, he has been a busy boy hasn’t he? He’s like a fairy godmother or something isn’t he?”
“You see don’t you Suz? He’s everything I’ve been running from my whole life. I had to get away, make the break before it was too late.”
“Claire, I know you haven’t had an easy life, hell, it’s pretty much raised its leg and peed right on you. Jason has for sure lost control there a bit, no doubt. Actually, a little bat shit crazy on the giving money away for free but I already thought that. Sweetie, I don’t think he’s anything like your father. I know he’s scaring you by trying to take care of all of your needs before you even know you have them, but I’m telling you, the man has a good heart. Can you honestly say there was an instance when you felt like your father had a good heart? Did you ever feel like he was trying to protect and care for you?”
“No, but Suz, you don’t know how my father started off. Abusive people usually escalate over time; they probably don’t just go off the deep end immediately. We’d only been together for a short time and really not even in a relationship and look at how he had taken over my life. What would it be like in a month or a year? Would I even recognize myself then?” Claire felt a sob escape from her throat and fought for calm.
Suzy as if sensing how close she was to losing it, took a quieter tone, all joking gone from her voice. “Sweetie, do you know what I think you need to do? I think you need to talk to the one person who can tell you how things started off with your father, your mother. You’re still hurting and traumatized from everything you and your family suffered. It would probably do your mother some good to get it out as well.”
“Suz, I can’t; she isn’t up to talking about this, and I can’t risk upsetting her.”
“Sweetie did you ever stop to think that your mother needs it as much as you do? You have spent these last few years since your father and sister died trying to pretend that nothing bad happened. It’s so bottled up inside you that you’re ready to explode. Give your mother a chance to be your mom, to be strong for you for once. Go talk to her before you throw away your chance with Jason.”
“I… I’ll think about it Suz; I will,” promised Claire.
“Good because I don’t have many more inspirational talks left in me; I’m practically breaking out in hives right now.” Despite herself, she laughed long and hard. Claire loved that Suzy always knew when she needed it. “Ok girl, I gotta run, love you and all that stuff.” With a click, she was gone. That was Suzy, in like a tornado, out like a tornado.
Chapter Twenty Six