Wallbanger

Chapter Twelve
“WHOSE FOOT IS THAT?”
“It’s mine, Neil. Quit rubbing it.”
“Dude! Quit trying to play footsie with me, Ryan!”
“You’re the one still holding my foot.”
Ryan and Neil tried to look nonchalant as they disengaged from their footsie session under the bubbling water. I laughed as I caught Simon’s eye across the hot tub, and he grinned back at me.
“Want another?” he mouthed, nodding to my empty glass.
“I have had enough for tonight, don’t you think?” I mouthed back, as our friends cackled all around us.
“I thought you were girl who always wanted more,” he mouthed. The characteristic smirk returned.
I looked at him, the image of Hot Tub Simon that had been in my head for the last few weeks actually paling in comparison to the real thing. Strong arms stretched across the back of the hot tub, hair wet and artfully swept back. If I thought seeing him wet and half-naked on my kitchen floor was enticing, it was nothing like having him backlit by tiki torches and seen through a strong buzz.
He was now the most singularly handsome man I’d ever seen, and if I wasn’t mistaken, he was trying to get me drunk. Brain was getting a bit fuzzy. Heart was beginning to sing Etta James songs.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I asked, giggling as I pushed my empty glass away, resolving myself to no more alcohol.
“Nope. A sloppy Pink Nightie Girl gets me nowhere.”
He grinned as I splashed water toward his side. Our friends had all quieted and were watching us with undisguised interest.
After Simon and I arrived, we got our drinks, and then I showed him around the rest of the house. I left my bags at the front door, not knowing how the sleeping arrangements had been laid out. We returned to the patio to find that Sophia and Neil had joined Ryan and Drunky Mimi in the hot tub. A quick trip to the pool house left me in nothing but a dark green bikini and a smile as I approached the others. Simon had already jumped in, and I watched him watch me. As I slid under the warm water, I sipped my cocktail and drank in the sight of my neighbor, wet and in board shorts, before me. Sophia actually had to nudge me to stop the staring.
Now we were smack dab in the middle of a sexual soup, bubbling away with two pairs of mismatched lovers and more pheromones than we knew what to do with.
So did I want another cocktail? Didn’t matter. I couldn’t afford it.
I had to shake my head a little to clear it as I looked around at the rest of the group. Mimi had gotten too hot and was perched on the side, kicking Neil as she swung her feet back and forth. He indulged her in much the same way a big brother indulges his little sister. Sophia and Ryan were huddled on the other side, Sophia scratching Ryan’s back as she and Neil talked back and forth about the 49ers’ starting lineup or defensive line or something football-ish and, frankly, boring.
“So, what are we doing this weekend?” I asked, focusing my attention on the group at large and not the blue eyes staring at me. Damn those eyes! They would be the death of me.
“We were thinking about going for a hike tomorrow. Who’s in?” Ryan asked.
Sophia shook her head. “Count me out. No way am I hiking.”
“Why not?” Neil asked.
Simon and I exchanged a quick glance at his sudden interest.
“Can’t. Last time I hiked I took quite a spill and sprained my wrist. Can’t take the chance during the season,” she said, waving and reminding us she made her living with her hands. As a cello player, she could get out of quite a bit. Once she dodged hand jobs all winter. Investment banker Bob was not a happy camper.
“How ’bout you, Tiny?” Neil pulled on Mimi’s foot.
“Um, no, Mimi doesn’t hike,” she replied, adjusting her barely there black bikini. Her actual boy toy didn’t notice, but I saw Ryan’s eyes grow to the size of pies from across the hot tub as her breasts were nearly revealed.
“You gonna take a pass as well?” Simon nodded to me.
“Hell, no. I’m hiking with the boys tomorrow!” I laughed as Sophia and Mimi rolled their eyes. They never understood why I loved “mountain man activities,” as they called them.
“Nice,” Simon purred, and for a second I calculated the distance between my mouth and his. Then we were all quiet, all six of us lost in our thoughts. I remembered the plan to out the four of them, and I jumped right in.
“So, Ryan, did you know Mimi here gives to your charity every year?” I asked, surprising them both.
“You do?”
“Yep, every year,” she said. “I’ve seen what having access to computers can do, especially for kids who wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity.” She looked shyly at him, and they began a conversation about the process he used to determine which schools will receive the scholarships each year.
Simon and I grinned at each other. Looking sideways at Sophia, Simon launched the second wave of the attack. “Hey, Neil, how many seats did you get for the symphony this year?” he asked.
Neil blushed.
“You bought tickets?” Sophia asked.
“Season tickets,” Simon added, as Neil nodded. Sophia and Neil then launched into a discussion of where his seats were, and Simon raised his foot above the surface of the water.
“Come on, don’t leave me hangin’.”
“What?”
“Gimme a little high five. I can’t reach your hand,” he insisted, waving his foot back and forth. I giggled and slid lower on my seat, stretching my foot out and patting his lightly.
“Ugh, pruney.” He laughed.
“I’ll give you pruney,” I warned, dipping my foot and splashing him lightly.

“I could not be more comfortable. Seriously, I literally could not feel more cozy right now if I were actually inside a marshmallow,” I mumbled through a thick tongue coated in Bailey’s and coffee. I had curled up on top of about fifty pillows next to fireplace—a fireplace with a hearth almost ten feet wide and a chimney almost three stories high. Made out of stone quarried nearby, it was massive. It was the focal point of the entire house, with rooms radiating out from its center. And it gave off massive heat.
We were chilled to the bone when we finally made it back inside. One by one, we all got too warm in the hot tub, so we hoisted ourselves out to cool off a little. By the time we realized how cold the night had gotten, we were shivering and puffing, and wanting nothing more than to curl up next to the fire. As we had yet to pick rooms, I soon learned, the girls snuck into the master bedroom to change into our pjs and rejoin the boys, who were now all decked out in T-shirts and pajama pants. We made a quick pot of coffee, and I sliced up some of the additional cranberry-orange bread I’d wisely hidden from Simon. A couple shots of Bailey’s in the coffee cups, and we were all relaxing by the fire like an ad for Currier and Ives.
Simon had reclined regally by the fireplace and patted the stack of pillows next to him. I dove in and a few stray puffs of feathers swirled around our heads. We’d discovered that each boy had a different method of starting a fire—kindling, newspapers, kindling and newspapers—when finally Sophia stuck her head up there and declared that the flue was still closed. Brought back down a few pegs, the guys at that point deferred to Ryan, if for no other reason than that he was the one holding the matches. But within minutes, they had a fire blazing, and we were now all seated around the fireplace, sleepy and content.
I breathed deeply. There was nothing like the smell of an actual fire—not a gas fireplace, not a bunch of candles, but an honest to goodness fireplace with snaps and crackles and funny little whizzing screeches when the steam came out of a crack in the wood.
“So, Caroline, have you asked Simon to teach you how to windsurf yet?” Mimi asked suddenly from her perch on the arm of the couch. We’d been quiet for a while, drowsy and almost dreaming, and I started a little when she spoke.
“What? I mean, what?” I asked, startled out of my pillows and back to the present.
“Well, these boys here all windsurf. You want to learn to windsurf, and I bet Simon here would show you, wouldn’t you, Simon?” She giggled, polishing off the last of her coffee and sliding off the arm of the chair into Ryan’s conveniently placed lap. They smiled at each other for a moment before they realized what they were doing and Ryan jokingly launched her off his own lap and into Neil’s. He’d not been awakened by her earlier question, but he now seemed wide awake with a lapful of Scheming Mimi.
“You want to learn to windsurf?” Simon asked, turning toward my pillow pile.
“Actually, yes. I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“It’s tough—not gonna lie. But totally worth it.” He smiled, and Ryan nodded from across the room.
“Sure, Simon’ll show you. He’d love to,” Ryan chimed in, earning a wink from Mimi and an eye roll from me.
“We can plan something for when we get back to the city,” I suggested.
“No more talk tonight. This girl has had it,” Sophia said. “I’m pooped. Where are we all sleeping?” She poked her head over the back of the armchair where she’d been curled up.
“Well, how many rooms we talking about?” Simon asked as I sat up and yawned.
“There are four bedrooms, so take your pick,” Sophia answered, then wisely drained an entire bottle of water.
“Are we doing boy-girl, boy-girl?” I asked, laughing when I saw Simon’s surprised face.
“We can, sure,” Mimi answered, looking a little nervously at Neil.
I stifled a giggle when I saw Sophia and Ryan trade a similar spooked look. Simon caught it as well.
“Yeah, sure! Don’t let Caroline and me stand in the way of the lovebirds! Mimi, you and Neil pick a room, Sophia and Ryan can pick a room, and Caroline and I will take the rooms that are left over. Perfect. Right, Caroline?”
“Sounds perfect to me. I’ll just rinse out these mugs. Now, off to bed with you all. Scoot! Scoot!” I cried. Simon and I scurried about cleaning up while sneaking peeks over our shoulders at the four of them. They looked like they’d just begun a death march.
“Oh, man, I hope this works out…for my sake.” I stood behind Simon as we watched the four become two pairs as they parted ways by the bedroom doors.
“Why for your sake?” he whispered, turning his face just a little to be inches from mine.
“Because right now, behind those doors? Sophia and Mimi are trying to figure out the best way to hurt me. Physically hurt me,” I sighed, backing away to rinse the last of the coffee cups and place them in the dishwasher.
Simon added the soap and switched it on. As we walked around, turning lights off for the night, we talked about the hike we’d be taking tomorrow.
“You’re not gonna slow me down, are you?” he teased.
I shoved him into the wall. “Please, you will be eating my trail dust tomorrow, bucko,” I warned, grabbing my bag and heading for the bedrooms.
“We’ll see, Nightie Girl. Speaking of, got any nighties in there for me?” He poked his hand into my bag as he followed me down the hall.
“Stay outta there. Nothing for you in there, or anywhere for that matter.” I stopped at the room I was taking.
He went past me to the room next door. “Look at that, sharing a bedroom wall once again.” He smirked.
“Well, I know you’re in there alone, so I’d better not hear any banging,” I warned, leaning in the doorway.
“No, no banging. ’Night, Caroline,” he said softly, leaning in his own doorway.
“’Night, Simon,” I answered, giving him a little waggle of my fingertips as I closed my door. I placed my bag on my bed and smiled.

“Come on, guys, not that much farther,” I yelled behind me as I surged up the final leg of the trail. We’d been hiking for about two hours now, and while everyone stayed together for a while, in the last thirty minutes or so, Ryan had slowed considerably, and Neil hung back with him. Simon and I kept the pace together, and were about to reach the crest of the trail.
I’d managed to avoid being alone with Sophia or Mimi, although the puffy eyes and tired faces on all four of them proved no one had gotten a good night’s sleep—except Simon and me.
After breakfast, I dodged the firing squad by changing quickly and waiting outside for the boys before the hike. I knew once I returned to the house I’d be in for it, although I admit I was curious to see how they were planning to rage without acknowledging that sleeping with the guys they’d been seeing for weeks now was not, in fact, what they wanted to do.
But as Simon had said, “Here’s to things staring you in the face.” Tonight should be interesting.
I pushed up and over the last little ridge and made it to the top. Simon was only a few yards behind me, and I could hear him on his way. I breathed deep, the clear air prickling at my lungs. It was chilly, but I was warm with exertion. It had been a while since I’d gotten out of the city, and my body had missed hiking like this. My legs were burning, my nose was running, I was sweating like a pig, and I couldn’t remember when I’d felt better. I laughed out loud as I looked down at the lake below, spying a few hawks gliding on a downdraft. The steely blue of the lake, the deep green of the forest, the clean whites and creams of the rocks: it was beautiful.
And then there was my new favorite blue. Simon appeared at my side, breathing as deeply as I was. He stretched his arms wide and took in the valley below. He’d peeled off layers as we climbed and was now wearing a white T-shirt with a flannel knotted at his waist. Khaki shorts, hiking boots, and a wide grin completed the wet dream I now stared at, instead of looking at the natural wonders all around us. And those blue eyes—I could see them framing each shot as he looked around.
“Beautiful,” I breathed, and he turned to me. I got caught staring. “I mean, isn’t it beautiful?” I stuttered, gesturing widely with my arm.
He appeared to know exactly what I’d been doing, and I felt the blush come up in my cheeks. Luckily, I was still a bit winded from the climb, and I hoped I was already sufficiently red.
“Yes, it is beautiful actually. Very beautiful.” He smiled, and we stared at each other. He took a few steps closer, and I felt the air shift and change. I bit my lip. He ran his hand through his hair. We smiled. There were no words, but even the woodland animals could tell there was something about to happen and wisely stayed in their hidey holes.
“Hi,” he said quietly.
“Hi,” I answered.
“Hi,” he said again, taking one last step toward me and stepping inside my little circle. One more step and he’d be practically on top of me. And how.
“Hi,” I said once more, tilting my head to the side and letting him know he could take that last step.
Simon leaned toward me, just barely, but almost as if he were going to…
“Parker!” thundered from below, and we both sprang back. “Parker!” It came again, and I recognized Ryan’s voice underneath the jungle-man yell.
“Ryan,” we both said and smiled.
Now that the voodoo wasn’t so concentrated, I could see things clearly again, and I repeated the word harem over and over again in my head.
“Up here!” Simon yelled, and Ryan appeared from around a bend.
“Hey there! Neil is done, kaput, thrown in the towel, so to speak. You guys about ready to head back down?” he called, jumping from rock to path to rock again with the ease of a mountain goat. He didn’t even appear to be winded. Hmmmm…
“Yep, we were just about to come looking for you guys,” I said, kicking my leg up behind me for a quick stretch.
“Is he really pussing out so close to the top?” Simon asked, heading back down the trail.
“He’s lying straight across the trail like he owns the place, refusing to go any higher.” Ryan laughed, bounding ahead and calling down to Neil to let him know we were on our way.
“You sure you didn’t want to stay up here a little longer? I mean, we worked so hard to get all the way here,” Simon asked, reaching out to stop me running down the mountain after Ryan.
I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder and willed my hormones to flee to the other side of my body. “I’m sure. We should get back. Looks like a storm is coming.” I nodded toward the horizon where a group of dark clouds had begun to build. His eyes followed mine, and he frowned.
“You’re probably right. We don’t want to get caught out here all alone,” he muttered.
“Besides, if we don’t hurry, we can’t tease Neil about getting beat up the mountain by a girl.” I grinned, and he laughed loudly.
“Hell, we don’t want to miss that. Let’s go.”
And down the trail we went.

“So how was your gangbang, Caroline?” Sophia sang sweetly as she found us all in the kitchen drinking water after our hike. The three guys each did different versions of a spit take, but I calmly continued sipping like a lady.
“Fantastic, thanks. Neil especially. We practically had to carry him back down the mountain after I finished with him,” I replied just as sweetly.
The boys recovered their game faces, but Neil could barely stop staring at Sophia’s tight tank top. Her actual suitor? Playing Spot The Mimi, his head rotating so fast I could have sworn he was an owl. I shook my head and put him out of his misery.
“Where’s Mimi?” I asked.
“Shower, which you four clearly need. It’s freezing outside. How could you have gotten so sweaty?” she asked, wrinkling her nose.
“We worked hard making it up that mountain. Hiking is harder than you think,” Neil puffed, and the rest of us wisely kept silent about the heart attack he almost had fifty feet from the summit.
I grabbed an apple and headed in the direction of my room with Sophia hot on my tail, as expected. I smirked a little and contemplated going easy on her—just asking her about it, giving her an out.
“Those shorts look terrible on you, Caroline,” she remarked as she followed me into my room.
Nope. Not going to happen. No easy out. “Thank you, dear. Should I have packed a little cat food for you when I packed Clive’s travel bag?” I sneered.
She collapsed on my bed, curling her body around one of the giant pillows. “Where is he anyway? Who’s watching him this weekend?”
“He’s staying with Uncle Euan and Uncle Antonio. That cat is lounging on a silk bed being handfed tuna rolls right about now. He’s living the life.”
“He has the life, that’s for sure,” she said, her face clouding briefly as she got comfortable.
I peeled off my sweaty clothes and wrapped up in a terrycloth robe hanging on the back of the door. She complimented my choice of sports bra and laughed when she saw that I’d paired it with leopard panties, but then she went back to her previous wistful expression.
“What’s up, Sophia?” I asked, lying on the bed next to her and wrapping myself around a pillow as well.
“Nothing, why?” she asked.
“You look like a sad sack.”
“Eh, I just didn’t sleep well, I guess.”
“Oh really? Mr. Ryan keeping you up late at night, hmm? He didn’t have a lot of energy on the mountain today…” I nudged her with my elbow.
“No, no, nothing like that. I just…I dunno. I just couldn’t get settled last night. Normally I sleep really well up here, but it was so quiet last night, I just…” She beat her pillow a little with her fist, forcing it into a new shape.
“I see. Well, I slept great!” I laughed, and she starting trying to force my head into a new shape with her fist.
“You wanna get drunk tonight?” she asked when we finally settled down.
“Hell, yes. You?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
There was a knock at the door, and Mimi poked her towel-covered head in. “Is this a private session, or can a non-lesbian get into this bed?” she called.
We waved her in, and she vaulted from the floor to the bed and landed on top of both of us.
“What are we doing in here, ladies? Foreplay or just going for it?” she asked.
“Please say foreplay,” a male voice said from the now-open door. We rolled over to see the men in the doorway, different versions of the same oh-my-goodness-girls-in-bed-together look on their faces.
“Oh, get over yourselves. Like we’d ever need a guy to tell us whether we needed foreplay or not.” Sophia giggled, kicking a foot in the air and waving at them from over my shoulder. They shifted their weight from one foot to the other and cleared their throats. So predictable.
“We’re planning on getting drunk tonight. You boys up for it?” Mimi yelled. Even though no alcohol was currently present in her system, Drunky Mimi’s volume level was already making an encore appearance.
“Done and done,” Ryan answered, giving us a weird little salute that made us giggle even harder.
“Now run away, boys, and let us have our girl time,” Sophia tossed over her shoulder, lifting my robe a little and giving my ass a quick smack. I squealed and tried to cover myself, but it was too late.
“Dude. Leopard print,” Neil whispered to Simon in the kind of whisper that’s actually louder than just speaking.
“I know, I know,” Simon countered, then drew his hand down his face as though he were trying to physically remove the image from his brain.
Simon liked animal prints. Duly noted.
“Come on, guys. The ladies have requested a little alone time, so let’s leave them to it.” Ryan tugged them out into the hallway and closed the door behind them with a wink that made Mimi’s entire neck turn bright red. Sophia examined her fingernails.
I was really going to have fun with these two tonight.

“Where the hell did you learn to cook like this? Jesus, this is good!” Neil exclaimed, taking his third helping of paella from the giant pan in the center of the table.
“Thank you, Neil.” I laughed as he dug into another pile of rice.
Simon nodded toward my wine glass, and I nodded back.
I’d thought about making a quick version of paella when I saw all the wonderful seafood on sale at the local market, and when I saw their special on Spanish Rosé and Cava, my plans came together. We’d started in on the Cava while prepping in the kitchen. The sparkling Spanish wine went perfectly with the wedge of Manchego I’d picked up, as well as the little salty olives. Once again, Simon was my helper, and we moved together in the kitchen. The other four settled on bar stools across from us while we cooked, someone popped an old Otis Redding record on the ancient turntable, and we were in business.
The wine flowed as freely as the conversation, and I could tell this had the potential to become a tight-knit group. Similar interests, similar senses of humor, but everything just different enough to keep it lively.
Speaking of lively, as the alcohol was inhaled, the walls came down. Mimi and Sophia were barely hiding their misplaced interests anymore. Not that the boys were minding. In fact, they were encouraging it. Ryan currently examined Mimi’s foot for what she insisted was a spider bite. The fact that he’d been inspecting it for several minutes, and that said inspection included a calf massage did not escape my attention, or Simon’s.
He grinned and motioned for me to move closer. I slid across the bench and inclined my head to his. He put his mouth next to my ear, and I inhaled. Wine, heat, and actual sex ran straight up my nostrils and invaded my brain, turning everything a bit fuzzy.
“How long before they kiss?” he whispered, his mouth so close I swear I felt lips brush my ear.
“What?” I asked, beginning to giggle the way I did when I’d had a little too much to drink and a little too much sexy dangled in front of me.
“How long? You know, before they kiss the wrong person?” he asked as I turned to look into his eyes.
Those eyes, oh, those eyes were now calling to me.
“You mean the right person?” I whispered.
“Yeah, the right person,” he answered, scooting a little closer on the bench.
“I don’t know, but if the kiss doesn’t come soon, I’m gonna burst,” I admitted, knowing full well I was no longer talking about our friends. And knowing full well that he knew full well I was no longer talking about our friends.
“Hmm, I wouldn’t want you to burst.” He was now mere inches from my face.
Harem. Harem. Harem. I repeated this mantra over and over.
“I wanna go in the hot tub.”
The whining pulled me away from the voodoo and back to the kitchen. Where there were people present.
“I wanna go in the hot tub,” I heard again and turned to address Mimi. Imagine my surprise when I saw that Sophia was actually the whiner, and she was now hanging on Neil like a backpack.
“Okay, so go in the hot tub. No one’s stopping you,” I insisted, sliding away from Simon and back in front of my plate where I began separating my peas from my lobster. I was full, but I would never leave lobster on the plate. I had standards, after all.
“You have to come too,” Sophia whined again as I began to comprehend. Sophia was drunk. Sophia got clingy when she got drunk. Oh boy.
“Go ahead. I’ll clean up the kitchen a little and then meet you guys out there,” Simon said, taking my plate and starting to stand.
“Hey, hey, hey! Lobster bite, hello,” I protested as I grabbed my fork.
“Here, I would never get between a woman and her lobster.” He smiled, offering me my fork back. I accepted the bite with a smile and stood up. I was a little more drunk than I thought, and this fact made itself known as gravity began tease me.
“Whoa there, you okay?” he asked, steadying me as Sophia started off for the bedroom.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine,” I answered, planting my feet and winning the battle.
“Maybe you outta slow down?” he asked, taking my wine glass.
“Oh, lighten up, it’s a party,” I cried, beginning to giggle. Suddenly everything was funny.
“Okay, party on.” He smiled as I headed to the bedroom to change into my suit. Which proved harder than I thought. String bikinis are difficult to tie when you’re more than a little buzzed.

“Okay, Caroline’s next. Truth or dare,” Mimi yelled, once again proving that Drunky Mimi only had one volume level.
“Truth,” I yelled back, splashing Sophia in the face accidentally as I reached behind me for my glass of wine. We’d brought out the last bottle of Cava and were steadily working our way through it. And it was steadily working its way through us, our game becoming more and more dangerous. The sky crackled a bit with far-away lightning, and low rumbles of thunder were just beginning to be heard over the giggling and splashing.
Once we came outside and got settled in the hot tub, it was only minutes before Neil suggested a game of Truth or Dare, and only seconds after that before Sophia agreed to it. I laughed it off at first, saying there was no way I’d play such a childish game. But when Simon implied that I was chicken, the alcohol reared its ugly head and shouted something to the effect of, “I will play Truth or Dare, you sucker, until you can’t tell your truth from your dare!”
This statement made perfect sense in my head, and must have seemed logical to Mimi and Sophia as well, as they immediately began offering me high fives and you-go-girls. I’m pretty sure I saw Simon shake his head, but he was smiling, so I let it go. And poured another glass of sparkly.
“Where’s the one place you want to travel, and haven’t been yet,” she asked, humming along to the tunes coming through the French doors.
Sophia had found all of her grandfather’s old records, and Simon almost had a fit when he saw the collection. He’d selected a Tommy Dorsey album, and the big band accentuated the night perfectly.
“Boring, make her take a dare!” Simon sang, and I stuck my tongue out at him.
“It’s not boring, and she chose truth so she gets truth. Caroline, where is the one place on earth you want to go?” she asked again.
I leaned my head back against the edge of the tub. I looked up at the stars and an image immediately came to mind: soft wind blowing, warm sun on my face, the ocean spread out in front of me dotted with craggy rocks. I smiled just thinking about it.
“Spain,” I sighed quietly, the smile lingering as I imagined myself on a beach in Spain.
“Spain?” Simon asked.
I turned my face toward his. He was smiling back at me. “Spain. That’s where I want to go. But it’s so expensive, it’s going to have to wait a while,” I smiled again, my head still wrapped around the image.
“Hey, wait, Simon, aren’t you going to Spain next month?” Ryan asked, and my eyes widened.
“Um, yeah. Yeah, I am actually,” he answered.
“Great! Caroline, you can go with him,” Mimi decided, clapping her hands and turning to Ryan.
“Ryan, you’re next.”
“No, no, wait a minute. First of all, I can’t just go with Simon to Spain. And second of all, it’s my turn,” I protested, as Simon sat up.
“Actually, you could ‘just go with Simon to Spain,’” he said, turning to me fully. The other side of the hot tub got very quiet.
“Um, no, I can’t. You’re working. I can’t afford a trip like that, and besides, I don’t know that I can take time off next month.” I felt my heart swell as I processed what he’d just said.
“Actually, I heard Jillian telling you the other day that next month would be a good time to take your vacation before the holiday season,” Mimi piped up. She sank back into the shadows as I glared at her.
“Be that as it may, I also can’t afford it, so discussion ended. Now then, I believe it’s my turn. Let’s see, who should I pick?” I looked around at everyone.
“It wouldn’t be that expensive. I’m renting a house, so that would be paid for. Airfare and spending money—that’s all you’d have to cover,” Simon added, not letting this go.
“Hey, that’s a pretty good deal there, Caroline,” Mimi spouted, her energy making little ripples across the tub.
“Okay, Mimi, truth or dare?” I asked, gritting my teeth and pushing ahead with the game.
“Hey, we’re discussing something here. Don’t change the subject,” she objected.
“Well, I’m done discussing it. Truth or dare, you little shit,” I said again, letting her know I meant business.
“Fine. Dare,” she pouted.
“Great. I dare you to kiss Neil,” I shot back, not missing a beat.
“What?” she shouted, as the entire hot tub erupted in gasps.
“Hey, we’re just playing a game, right? And Mimi, really, it’s not that shocking that I would dare you to kiss the guy you’ve been seeing for weeks now, is it?”
“Well, no, I just, I don’t like public displays,” she sputtered, almost going under. This from the girl who was almost arrested for public nudity when she was found under the bleachers at a football game freshman year at Berkeley.
“Oh, come on, what’s the big deal?” Simon chimed in, and I looked at him gratefully.
“Nothing, it’s just—” she said again, and Neil interrupted.
“Oh, come here, Tiny,” he exclaimed and pulled her over. They stared at each other for a second, and then Neil swept her hair out of her face. He smiled, and she leaned in. I heard Sophia inhale at the same time Ryan did, and we all watched as Mimi kissed Neil.
And it was weird.
They broke away, and Mimi swam back over to her side. Next to Ryan. All was quiet for a moment. Simon and I looked at each other, not sure what to do next. We’d been outsmarted. And I got pissed when I got outsmarted. I began to burn. The fact that I was drunk had nothing at all to do with my overreaction.
“Okay, I guess it’s my turn. Hmmm…Ryan, truth or dare?” Neil started, and I stood up, splashing everyone around me as I did.
“No, no, no! That’s not what was supposed to happen!” I yelled, stamping my foot, losing my balance and going under in the process. Simon’s strong hands brought me back to the surface, and I continued my alcohol-induced tirade. Flashes of lightning, now much closer, blazed across the sky.
“You were not supposed to let her kiss him!” I sputtered, spitting out water and pointing at Ryan and then at Mimi. I whirled on Sophia. “And you were supposed to get mad at her!”
“Why would I get mad at Mimi? For kissing her boyfriend?” Sophia mumbled, taking a sudden interest in her fingernails.
“Argh!” I screamed and turned back to Mimi.
“Mimi, are you even remotely interested in Neil?” I challenged, hands on my hips as I steamed into the night air.
“Neil is exactly what I’ve always wanted in a man. He is my type to a T,” she countered robotically, flinching when Ryan looked at her with hurt in his eyes.
“Blah, blah, blah, have you f*cked Neil yet?” I screeched, pointing wildly as I tend to do when I drink.
“Okay, Caroline, you’ve made your point,” Simon soothed, trying to get me to sit back down.
“What point? What are you two talking about?” Sophia asked, leaning forward.
“Oh, please, the four of you are ridiculous! I don’t care what you all think you want on paper. In reality, you’re doing it all wrong!” I answered, smacking the top of the water for emphasis. Why weren’t they getting it? I don’t know when I’d gotten so riled up, but in the last sixty seconds or so, I’d become blazing mad.
“Are you kidding?” Mimi cried, jumping to her feet in the hot tub, which kept the water at about the same level.
“Mimi, come on! Anyone with eyes can see the way you and Ryan feel about each other! Why the hell are you wasting time on anyone else?” I pushed.
Simon pulled me back onto his lap and attempted to quiet me.
“Okay, this has gone far enough,” Neil said, starting to get out of the tub.
“No, no! Neil, look at Sophia. Can’t you see she is totally into you? Why the hell are you all so thick? Seriously? Are Simon and I the only ones that can see clearly here?” I yelled once more, bringing Simon into the conversation whether he wanted it or not.
Neil looked at Ryan, and then at Simon.
“Dude!” Neil exclaimed.
“Dude,” Simon answered, gesturing toward Sophia, who stood up like she was going to say something. Neil put his hand on her shoulder, and she stopped and sat back down. Neil nodded at Ryan.
“Dude?” he asked, and Ryan nodded back. Neil took a deep breath and looked at Sophia.
“Sophia, truth or dare?” Neil asked.
“We are not playing any more—” I tried to yell, but Simon took that moment to place his hand over my mouth.
“All clear over here,” Simon announced as he pinned me to his lap more securely with his other hand on my waist. Thunder rolled in, blanketing the scene with an ominous air.
“Sophia?” Neil asked again. She was quiet, and not looking in the direction of Mimi and Ryan.
“Dare,” she whispered and closed her eyes.
Alcohol made everything much more dramatic.
“I dare you to kiss me,” Neil said, and all you could hear was the occasional loon over the lake. The loons in the tub were finally quiet. We all watched as Sophia turned to Neil and placed a hand on the back of his head, pulling him toward her. She kissed him, slowly but surely, and it went on for days. I smiled into Simon’s hand, and he patted my stomach, which made me giddy.
When they finally broke apart, Sophia was laughing into Neil’s mouth, and he answered with his giant, goofy man-giggle.
“Well, it’s about freaking time,” Simon said, releasing my mouth.
“Mimi, I—” Sophia began, turning toward Mimi and finding an empty hot tub.
Mimi and Ryan were gone. I caught just the edge of Ryan’s towel headed into the pool house—with a slippery wet companion on his arm.
“Well, then, I guess we’ll call it a night.” Sophia sighed, grabbing Neil by the hand.
“’Night.” I giggled as she walked into the house with Neil in tow. They cuddled close, already a picture in the making. I looked at the pool house, and noticed no lights had come on yet. They probably would not be coming on in the near future.
“Well, that was a fine bit of matchmaking, although your bull-in-a-china-shop delivery left a lot to be desired.” Simon chuckled, letting his head rest against my back. I was still perched on his lap. His hand had left my mouth, and it was now drifting south, while his other hand remained tightly on my waist.
“Yes, I usually leave a lot to be desired,” I observed wryly, not wanting to leave this exquisite spot, but knowing I needed to—and soon. Simon was quiet behind me, and I started to move off his lap.
“You leave everything to be desired, Caroline,” he said softly, and I froze. It was quiet for another moment, both of us not moving, but still moving toward each other.
Without looking back, I let out a tiny laugh. “You know, I never really got that phrase. Does that mean I am desirable or—”
His fingers began to trace tiny circles on my skin. “You know exactly what it means,” he breathed into my ear. The air crackled around us, the tension as well as the actual weather. More tiny circles. In the end, it was the tiny circles that finally broke me.
I lost all control. I turned quickly, catching him off guard as I wrapped my legs around his waist and threw caution, and my harem mantra, to the wind. I sunk my hands into his hair, luxuriating in the feel of wet silk around my fingertips as I pulled him toward me.
“Why did you kiss me that night at the party?” I asked, my mouth mere inches from his. Once he realized I was driving this bus, he responded by pressing his hips into mine, bringing us closer together than we’d ever been.
“Why did you kiss me?” he asked, running his hands up and down my back, settling into the space where his hands spanned my waist exactly—thumbs in front, fingers in back—and pressed me into him further.
“Because I had to,” I answered honestly, remembering how I’d reacted instinctively, kissing him when I’d wanted to do anything but. “Why did you kiss me?” I asked again.
“Because I had to,” he said, the smirk returning. Luckily I didn’t see the smirk for too long. Because I’d finally discovered the secret of the ages.
How do you make Wallbanger stop smirking? You kiss him.