Chapter 25
What Cam had been waiting for happened shortly after I took my shirt off and showed him my bra. He’d gotten me to sit down and wrapped a quilt around my shoulders, covering me up. We were watching a horrifically bad science fiction movie when all that liquor decided it didn’t want to me in my belly anyone.
Tearing off the quilt, I scrambled over Cam’s legs and lap. “Oh God…”
“What? You’re sick.” Cam was on his feet.
I rushed toward the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. Dropping to my knees, I lifted the lid and started heaving. Every muscle in my body went through the motion. Tears streamed down my face as my body shuddered. It seemed wrong to be going through this after having the flu.
Over all the retched noise I was making, I hadn’t heard Cam come in, but he was there, kneeling beside me. His hand smoothed the length of my spine, a continuous, endless soothing stroke as he scooped the hair that had escaped my bun out of my face. He stayed, murmuring unintelligible words to me that did wonders, even through the violent dry heaving stage.
When it was all done, he helped me lean against the bath tub while he grabbed a small towel and ran it under the water. He knelt down, wiping the soft material across my face, like he had the night of the Halloween party and when I’d been sick. “Feel better?” he asked.
“Kinda,” I murmured, closing my eyes against the brightness. “Oh God, this is so embarrassing.”
He chuckled. “It’s nothing, sweetheart.”
“This is why you stayed, right?” I moaned, feeling like a giant idiot. “You knew I was going to be sick and here I was, taking off my clothes.”
“Shh,” he said, tucking the loose strands of my hair back. “As charming as it was to watch you vomit up your guts, that’s not why I stayed and you know it.”
I closed my eyes again, feeling a bit floaty. “Because you want me, but not when I’m drunk and puking all over the place?”
Cam burst into laughter. “Yeah, you know, that sounds about right.”
“Just making sure we’re on the same page,” I murmured. It kind of struck me then that I was still just in my jeans and bra, but I honestly didn’t care. Tomorrow would most definitely be a different story.
“We’re not.”
I pried one eye open. “Ha.”
“Thought you’d like that.” He swiped the cool, damp cloth along my chin.
“You’re very… good at this.”
“Had a lot of practice.” Cam tossed the towel aside, grabbed a new one and repeated the steps. “Been where you are quite a few times.” He ran it down my neck, over my bra straps and then the length of my arms. “Want to get ready for bed?”
My other eye flew open.
He shook his head and the dimple appeared in his left cheek. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” he said, standing. With his back to me, he rummaged around the sink. A faucet turned on. He was back in front of me again, holding a loaded toothbrush. “Thought you’d want to get the taste out of your mouth.”
My fingers made grabby motions. “You are wonderful.”
“I know.” He handed it over and then replaced the toothbrush with one of those paper cups I never used. When I was all done, he knelt again and rocked back on his heels. He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off. “I’ve been trying to get you to say I’m wonderful from the first time you plowed into me. If I’d known that all it would take was handing you a toothbrush, I would have done that a long time ago. My loss.”
“No. It was my…” I pushed myself up a little, watching as he reached down and pulled the shirt off his head. “My loss—what are you doing?”
“I don’t know where your clothes are.”
“Uh-huh.” My gaze dropped and I think I needed the damp towel again.
“And I figured you’d want to get out of your clothes.”
In the bright light, I saw the detail on the sun tattoo like I never had before. There had to be a thousand little marks inside the sun, giving it such a realistic, fiery detail. “Yeah…”
“So the easiest thing would be to let you borrow my shirt.”
My eyes went even lower, over the dusky nipple and then down, tracing each ripple of his stomach muscles. “Okay.”
“Then you’d be more comfortable.”
There was a fine dusting of dark hair the appeared under his navel and traveled south, below the band on his jeans. It looks like someone placed their fingers on either side of his hips, indenting the skin there. “Sure,” I murmured. How did someone get muscles there? Like what kind of stomach exercises did you have to subject yourself to?
“You haven’t been listening to a single thing I’ve said.”
I dragged my gaze up. “Nuh-uh.”
There was that dimple again as he clasped my hips and helped me up so I was sitting on the edge of the tub. “Don’t lift your arms yet, okay.”
Sitting still, I gripped the edges of the tub as he pulled the opening of his shirt over my head.
“Keep your arms down.” He let go of the shirt and slipped his arms around me. A second later, his agile finger unclasped my bra.
“What are you doing?” My stomach dropped, and boy, after what just went on in here, that was not a good feeling.
He laughed as the straps slid down my arms, making me shiver. “Like I said before, get your mind out of the gutter. Your virtue is safe with me.”
“My virtue?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be safe with him.
He peeked up. “For now.”
“For now?” I whispered.
Cam nodded. “Put your arms through.”
I did as I was told and then he made a show of rolling up the sleeves before sliding his hand down my left arm, stopping above my bracelet.
“Don’t—” Panic shot through me as he unhooked the bracelet. I tried to yank my arm back, but Cam looked up, tightening his grip.
“I’ve already seen it, Avery.”
Pressure clamped down on my chest. “Please, don’t. It’s embarrassing and I can’t take back that you saw this. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
He wrapped both his hands around the bracelet and wrist as he met my gaze with his steady one. “It’s because of this, isn’t it? Why you freaked out on me? Wouldn’t talk to me? Dropped the class?”
A lump rose so quickly in my throat that I couldn’t speak.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Softness crept into voice and his stare. “We’ve all done stuff we aren’t proud of. If you knew…” He shook his head. “The point is, I don’t know why you did this. I just hope that whatever the reason was, it’s something that you’ve come to terms with. I don’t think any less of you because of it. I never did.”
“But you looked so…” My voice was too hoarse.
The bracelet slipped off, but his one hand still covered my wrist as he put the bracelet on the edge of the sink. “I was just surprised and I was concerned. I didn’t know when you got this and I’m not going to ask. Not right now, okay? Just know that you don’t have to hide it around me. Alright?”
All I could do was nod, because I was always trying to hide it.
Cam lowered his head as he lifted my wrist, turning my arm over, so my palm was facing up. He pressed his lips to the scar, and the breath caught in my throat. I looked away, squeezing my eyes shut. Something cracked inside me, a proverbial wall I’d built around me.
“I’d just turned sixteen,” I said, my voice hoarse as I blurted out the words before I lost my nerve. “That’s when I did it. I don’t know if I really meant to do it or if I just wanted someone to…” I shook my head. “It’s something I regret every day.”
“Sixteen?” His tone was devoid of judgment.
I nodded. “I would never do anything like that again. I swear. I’m not the same person I was then.”
“I know.” Several moments passed and then he placed my arm on my leg. “Now it’s time to take your pants off.”
The abrupt change in subject caused me to laugh. “Nice.”
When he helped me stand, the shirt almost reached my knees and my bra, it lay on the floor between us like a sad, lonely thing. When he reached for the buttons on my jeans, I smacked his hand away. “I think I can do that.”
“Are you sure?” A brow arched up. “Because I’m here at your service and taking your jeans off is something I feel I’d be exceptionally wonderful at.”
“I’m sure you would be. Put your hoodie back on.”
He took a step back and leaned against the sink. All that male flesh completely on display. “I like when you look.”
“I remember,” I grumbled, turning away. It was like my bracelet hadn’t even come off, but I felt more naked without it on than I would if I wore no clothes at all. With a little shimmy, I stepped out of my jeans. When I faced him, he was still all kinds of half-naked.
Cam swiped his hoodie off the floor and then took my hand. “You think you’ll be good out of the bathroom?”
“I hope so.”
We headed back into the living room, and I thought he was going to leave then, as it was well after two a.m., but he found me some aspirins, made me drink a bottle of water, and then sat on my couch. He gave my arm a little tug. “Sit with me.”
I started to move around his legs, but he stopped me.
“No. Sit with me.”
Having no idea where he was going with this, I shook my head. Cam leaned back and then tugged on my arm a little harder. I went with it, letting him pull me into his lap. My side against his front, legs stretched out on the cushions beside us. He yanked the quilt up over my legs and once he had me situated the way he wanted, he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“You should try to go to sleep,” he said, his voice barely audible over the hum of the TV. “It’ll help in the morning.”
I relaxed against him, faster than I thought possible. Snuggling closer, I rested my head against his chest. “You’re not leaving?”
“Nope.”
“At all?” I closed my eyes.
His chin grazed the top of my head and then his lips brushed across my forehead. A sigh leaked out from between my lips. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, sweetheart. I promise.”
#
It took a couple of moments to realize the blinding light was from the sun shining through my living room window and that I was still in Cam’s lap. My head was against his shoulder and his chin was resting atop mine. His arms were secured around me like he thought I’d wake up and run off.
In my chest, my heart got a little workout.
Memories from last night were a little disjointed at first, but when they started to make sense, I alternated between being thrilled, embarrassed, shocked, and then thrilled again.
Cam was still here and last night he’d said that he wanted me, that we would be together, even after he knew what I had done to myself and after I’d been a total bitch to him.
I almost couldn’t believe it. Maybe I was dreaming, because I didn’t feel like I deserved this.
Placing my hand on his chest, I felt his heart beat steady and strong under my palm. His skin was bare, warm, and real. I needed to see his face to fully believe that this was happening. I shifted in his lap.
Cam groaned a deep, rich sound.
Eyes going wide, I stilled. Holy moley, I could feel his arousal against my hip. His arms tightened around my waist and I felt his heart kick around the same time mine did.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice thick and gruff. “It’s morning and you’re sitting on me. That’s a combination meant to bring any man down.”
Warmth swamped my cheeks, but heat raced through my veins and I was reminded of how he felt when he had rocked against me before. Not the best thought to be having right now. His grip on my waist loosened and his hand dropped to my hip. Through the thin shirt—his shirt—my skin tingled.
Okay. Maybe it was the perfect thought to be having right now.
“Do you want me to get off you?” I asked.
“Hell no.” His other hand traveled up my back, his fingers tangling in the ends of my hair. “Absolutely f*cking not.”
My lips cracked a grin. “Okay.”
“Finally, I think we’re actually agreeing on something.”
I leaned back a little, so I could see him. Disheveled from sleep and with the faint trace of stubble on his jaw, he looked absolutely stunning. “Did last night really happen?”
One side of his lips tipped up, and my chest swelled. I’d missed that smile. “Depends on what you think happened.”
“I took my shirt off for you?”
His eyes deepened. “Yes. Lovely moment.”
“And you turned me down?”
The hand on my hip slid lower. “Only because our first time together isn’t going to be when you’re drunk.”
“Our first time together?”
“Uh-huh.”
Muscles in my stomach tightened. “You’re really confident about there being a first between us.”
“I am.” He tipped back against the cushion.
I needed to focus. “We talked, right?” My gaze fell to my bare left wrist. “I told you when I did this?”
“Yes.”
I peeked at him. “And you don’t think I’m a raving bitch?”
“Well…”
Cocking my head to the side, I pinned him with a look.
Cam’s grin spread as his hand slid further up my back, reaching the nape of my neck. “You want to know what I think?”
“Depends.”
He guided my head down so that our mouths were inches apart. “I think we need to talk.”
“We do.” I agreed even though it made me nervous, of course, but resolve replaced my apprehension.
Cam suddenly gripped my hips and lifted me off him, placing me on the couch beside him. I missed his warmth immediately. Confusion rose as he stood. “I thought we needed to talk,” I said.
“We do. I’ll be right back.”
I had no clue what he was up to.
“Just stay there, okay?” he said, backing toward the door. “Don’t move from that spot. Don’t think about anything. Just sit there and I’ll be right back.”
I watched him curiously. “Okay.”
A lopsided grin appeared. “I mean it, don’t think about anything. Not the last couple of minutes or last night. Not the last month. Or what’s coming next. Just sit there.”
“Alright,” I whispered. “I promise.”
His eyes met mine for a second longer, and then he left, and of course I thought about everything in those five minutes he was gone. By the time he returned, I’d almost been convinced that he wasn’t coming back.
Except he did.
I twisted around, peering over the back of the couch and once I saw what he had in his hands, I smiled widely. “Eggs—you brought eggs.”
“And my skillet.” He nudged the door shut with his hip. “And I brushed my teeth.”
“You didn’t put a shirt on.”
He cast me a look as he headed into my kitchen. “I know it would break your heart not to be able to see me shirtless.”
As he disappeared through the door, I dropped my head to the back of the couch and let out a girlie sound that I hoped was muffled.
“Avery, what in the hell are you doing?”
I lifted my head. “Nothing.”
“Then get your ass in here.”
Grinning, I scampered off the couch and started toward my bedroom.
“And don’t you dare change.”
I stopped, making a face.
“Because I really like seeing you in my clothes,” he added.
“Well, when you put it like that…” I turned around and made my way back to the kitchen. Lingering in the doorway, I watched him do something I seen him do at least a dozen times.
He looked over his shoulder at me. “What? You missed my eggs that badly?”
I blinked my misty eyes clear. “I didn’t think I’d have you in my kitchen making eggs again.”
The thick bands of muscle across his shoulders flexed, and I couldn’t help but admire the sensual valley. They curved deep into his skin as he leaned forward, adjusting the controls on the stove. “You missed me that much?”
For once I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Cam faced me. “I’ve missed you.”
I took a deep breath. “I want to say I’m sorry for how I acted when you… well, when you saw my scar. I’ve never let anyone see it.” I sucked my lower lip in and took a step forward. “I know that’s not an excuse, because I was a terrible bitch, but…”
“I’ll accept your apology on one condition.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“Anything?”
“You trust me.”
I cocked my head to the side. “I trust you, Cam.”
“No, you don’t.” He walked over to my small table and pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”
Sitting down, I tugged the hem of his shirt down as he headed back to the stove, putting the tiny skillet over the burner.
“If you trusted me, you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did,” he simply said, cracking an egg. “And that’s not me judging you or any of that kind of shit. You got to trust me that I’m not going to be an ass or freak out over that kind of stuff. You have to trust that I care enough about you.”
My breath stalled.
He turned, his eyes as clear as glass. “There’s a lot I don’t know about you and I hope we fix that. I’m not going to push you, but you can’t shut me out. Okay. You have to trust me.”
There were a lot of things he didn’t know, but I didn’t want those things to interfere. Not now. Not ever. “I trust you. I will trust you.”
Cam met my gaze. “I accept your apology.”
Then he turned back to the stove, scrambling my eggs. Next came the OJ. We really didn’t say anything until he sat down with his four boiled eggs. “So where do we go from here?” he asked. “Tell me what you want.”
I stopped, my fork full of egg. My gaze flicked up and he was holding one of the eggs. “What I want?”
“From me.” He bit into the egg, chewing slowly. “What do you want from me?”
Placing my fork down, I sat back and stared at him. It suddenly occurred to me that he was going to make me say it and… and I needed to say it. I thought about Molly and what she had to say a hundred times. This was easy compared to that. “You.”
“Me?”
“I want you.” My cheeks were burning but I pressed forward. “Obviously, I’ve never been in a relationship and I don’t even know if that’s what you want. Maybe it’s not—”
“It is.” He finished off the egg.
My chest tightened. “It is?”
He chuckled. “You sound so surprised, like you can’t believe it.” He picked up another egg. “It’s really kind of adorable. Please continue.”
“Please continue…?” I shook my head, flustered. “I want to be with you.”
Cam finished off the second egg. “That’s the second thing we’re in agreement on this morning.”
“You want to be with me?”
“I’ve wanted to be with you since the first time you turned me down. I’ve just been waiting for you to come around.” His lips curved up. “So, if we’re going to do this, there are some ground rules.”
He’d been waiting for me? “Rules?”
He nodded as he peeled the third egg. “There’s not that many. No shutting me out. It’s just you and me and no one else.” He paused, and my heart was jumping. “And finally, you keep looking damn sexy in my shirts.”
A laugh burst from me. “I think all of them are doable.”
“Good.”
I watched him finish off his eggs and as happy as I was, the nerves got the best of me. “I’ve never done of any of this before, Cam. And I’m not easy to get along with all the time. I know that. I can’t promise this will be easy for you.”
“Nothing fun in life is easy.” He emptied his glass of milk and then stood, coming to my side. He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. His arms went around my waist as he tilted his head down and when he spoke, his lips brushed my cheek. “I’m serious about you, Avery. If you want me for real, you have me.”
Closing my eyes, I placed my hands on his chest. “I want you for real.”
“Good to know,” he murmured, tilting his head to the side and his lips grazed mine. Anticipation swelled like a bubble. “Because if not, this would get a whole lot awkward.”
I started to laugh, but then his mouth was on mine, quieting me. The kiss was soft at first. A tender exploration of my lips, but it had been too long since he’d kissed me last. And it had been too long since I ever felt like this. I wanted more.
Sliding my hands up his chest and then the sides of his slightly rough cheeks, I thrust my fingers deep into his messy, soft hair. That was all the encouragement Cam needed. He deepened the kiss, parting my lips as his tongue slipped in. His hands slid to my hips and then up to my waist. He tugged me against him and the kiss went from innocent and sweet to downright sexy in a matter of seconds.
Cam lifted me, wringing a startled gasp from me that was quickly lost in him. Instinct took over and I wrapped my legs around his waist. In one powerful lunge, he moved forward and my back was against the wall and his chest was flush against mine. My body softened, dampened between my thighs as I felt him there, evidence of how badly he wanted me. Every inch of my body tightened as heat poured into me.
For the first time, there wasn’t a smidgen of panic. Nothing but wonderful sensations that made me feel alive, and for once, I was completely in control. There was a freedom in that I never experienced before and I threw myself into that kiss. He made that terribly sexy sound that rumbled through his chest and then mine.
It seemed like forever before he lifted his mouth. “I need to go.”
I let out a shaky breath. “You’re leaving now?”
“I’m not a saint, sweetheart,” he all but growled. “So if I don’t leave now, I won’t be leaving for some time.”
A pulse went from the tips of my breasts to my core. “What if I don’t want you to leave?”
“F*ck,” he said, sliding his hands down to my thighs. “You’re making this very hard to be the good guy you said I was last night.”
“I’m not drunk.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, chuckling softly. “Yeah, I can see that and while the idea of taking you right now, against the wall, is enough to make me lose control, I want you to know that I’m serious. You’re not a hook up. You’re not a friend with benefits. You’re more than that to me.”
I closed my eyes, breathing heavily. “Well, that was… really sort of perfect.”
“I’m really sort of perfect,” he replied, gently untangling my legs. He sat me on the floor and I would’ve fallen right over if he hadn’t held on. “Everyone else knows that. You’re just a little slow on the uptake.”
I laughed. “What are you going to do?”
“Take a cold shower.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
I laughed again. “You coming back over?”
“Always,” he said, kissing me quickly.
“Okay.” I opened my eyes, smiling. “I’ll wait for you.”