Jan was looking at her parents with puzzlement, suspicion, and growing fright. 'What are you doing in here? And why is she up?' Pointing to Judy.
'You peed in your bed,' Judy said smugly, and when Jan realized - realized and started to cry harder - Rusty felt like smacking Judy a good one. He usually felt like a pretty enlightened parent (especially compared to those he sometimes saw creeping into the Health Center with their arm-broke or eye-blackened children), but not tonight.
'It doesn't matter,' Rusty said, hugging Jan close. 'It wasn't your fault. You had a little problem, but it's over now.'
'Does she have to go to the hospital?' Linda asked.
'Only to the Health Center, and not tonight.Tomorrow morning. I'll get her fixed up with the right medicine then.'
'NO SHOTS.!' Jannie screamed, and began to cry harder than ever. Rusty loved the sound of it. It was a healthy sound. Strong.
'No shots, sweetheart. Pills.'
'Are you sure?' Lin asked.
Rusty looked at their dog, now lying peacefully with her snout on her paw, oblivious of all the drama.
'Audrey's sure,' he said. 'But she ought to sleep in here with the girls for tonight.'
'YayFJudy cried. She fell to her knees and hugged Audi extravagantly.
Rusty put an arm around his wife. She laid her head on his shoulder as if too weary to hold it up any longer.
'Why now?' she asked. 'Why now?'
'I don't know. Just be grateful it was only petit mal.'
On that score, his prayer had been answered.
CHAPTER 6
MADNESS, BLINDNESS, ASTONISHMENT OF THE HEART
1
Scarecrow Joe wasn't up early; he was up late. All night, in fact.
This would be Joseph McClatchey, age thirteen, also known as King of the Geeks and Skeietor, residing at 19 Mill Street. Standing six-two and weighing one-fifty, he was indeed skeletal. And he was a bona fide brain. Joe remained in the eighth grade only because his parents were adamantly opposed to the practice of 'skipping forward.'
Joe didn't mind. His friends (he had a surprising number for a scrawny thirteen-year-old genius) were there. Also, the work was a tit and there were plenty of computers to goof with; in Maine, every middle school kid got one. Some of the better websites were blocked, of course, but it hadn't taken Joe long to conquer such minor annoyances. He was happy to share the information with his homies, two of whom were those dauntless board-benders Norrie Calvert and Benny Drake. (Benny particularly enjoyed surfing the Blondes in White Panties site during his daily library period.) This sharing no doubt explained some of Joe's popularity, bu: not all; kids just thought he was cool. The bumper sticker plastered on his backpack probably came closest to explaining why It read FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE.
Joe was a straight-A student, a dependable and sometime? brilliant basketball center on the middle school team (varsity as a seventh-grader!), and a foxy-good soccer player. He could tickle the piano keys, and two years previous had won second prize in the annual Town Christmas Talent Competition with a hilariously laid-back dance routine to Gretchen Wilson's 'Redneck Woman.' It had the adults in attendance applauding and screaming with laughter. Lissa Jamieson, the town's head librarian, said he could make a living doing that if he wanted to, but growing up to be Napoleon Dynamite was not Joe's ambition.
'The fix was in,' Sam McClatchey had said, gloomily lingering his son's second-place medal. It was probably true; the winner that year had been Dougie Twitchell, who happened to be the Third Selectman's brother. Twitch had juggled half a dozen Indian clubs while singing 'Moon River.'
Joe didn't care if the fix was in or not. He had lost interest in dancing the way he lost interest in most things once he had to some degree mastered them. Even his love of basketball, which as a fifth-grader he had assumed to be eternal, was fading.
Only his passion for the Internet, that electronic galaxy of endless possibilities, did not seem to pall for him.
His ambition, unexpressed even to his parents, was to become President of the United States. Maybe, he sometimes thought, I'll do the Napoleon Dynamite thing at my inaugural. That shit would he on YouTube for eternity.