God hear my prayer,' Lester said in his growly I'm-really-praying voice. In one hand he held a heavy length of rope that had been knotted twelve times, one knot for each disciple. The ninth knot - the one signifying Judas - had been painted black. 'God hear my prayer, I ask it in the name of the crucified and risen Jesus.'
He began to whip himself across the back with the rope, first over the left shoulder and then over the right, his arm rising and flexing smoothly. His not inconsiderable biceps and delts began to pop a sweat. When it struck his already well-scarred skin, the knotted rope made a carpet-beater sound. He had done this many times before, but never with such force.
'God hear my prayerl God hear my prayer! God hear my prayer! God hear my prayer!'
Whack and whack and whack and whack. The sting like fire, like nettles. Sinking in along the turnpikes and byroads of his miserable human nerves. Both terrible and terribly satisfying.
'Lord, we have sinned in this town, and I am chief amor g sinners. I listened to Jim Rennie and believed his lies. Yea, I believed, and here is the price, and it is now as it was of old. It's not just the one that pays for the sin of one, but the many. You are slow to anger, but when it comes, Your anger is like the storms that sweep a field of wheat, laying low not just one stalk or a score but every one. I have sowed the wind and reaped the whirlwind, not just for or e but for many'
There were other sins and other sinners in The Mill - he knew that, he was not naive, they swore and danced and sexed and took drugs he knew far too much about - and they no doubt deserved to be punished, to be scourged, but that was true of every town, surely, and this was the only one that had been singled out for this terrible act of God.
And yet... and yet... was it possible that this strange curse was not because of his sin? Yes. Possible. Although not likely.
'Lord, I need to know what to do. I'm at the crossroads. If it's Your will that I should stand in this pulpit tomorrow morning and confess to what that man talked me into - the sins we participated in together, the sins I have participated in alone - then I will do so. But that would mean the end of my ministry, and it's hard for me to believe that's Your will at such a crucial time. If it's Youi will that I should wait... wait and see what happens next... wait and pray with my flock that: this burden should be lifted... then I'll do that. Your will be done, Lord. Now and always.'
He paused in his scourging (he could feel warm and comforting trickles running down his bare back; several of the rope knots had begun to turn red) and turned his tearstained face up toward the beamed roof.
'Because these folks need me, Lord.You know they do, now more than ever. So... if it's Your will that this cup should be removed from my lips... please give me a sign.'
He waited. And behold, the Lord God said unto Lester Coggins, 'I will shew you a sign. Goest thou to thy Bible, even as you did as a child after those nasty dreams of yours.'
'This minute,' Lester said. 'This second!'
He hung the knotted rope around his neck, where it printed a blood horseshoe on his chest and shoulders, then mounted to the pulpit with more blood trickling down the hollow of his spine and dampening the elastic waistband of his shorts.
He stood at the pulpit as if to preach (although never in his worst nightmares had he dreamed of preaching in such scant garb), closed the Bible lying open there, then shut his eyes. 'Lord, Thy will be done - I ask in the name of Your Son, crucified in shame and risen in glory.'
And the Lord said, 'Open My Book, and see what you see.'
Lester did as instructed (taking care not to open the big Bible too close to the middle - this was an Old Testament job if ever there had been one). He plunged his finger down to the unseen page, then opened his eyes and bent to look. It was the second chapter of Deuteronomy, the twenty-eighth verse. He read:
'The Lord shalt smite thee with madness and blindness and astonishment of the heart.'
Astonishment of the heart was probably good, but on the whole this wasn't encouraging. Or clear. Then the Lord spake again, saying: 'Don't stop there, Lester.'
He read the twenty-ninth verse.
'And thou shalt grope at noonday - '
'Yes, Lord, yes,' he breathed, and read on.
'as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.'
'Will I be struck blind?' Lester asked, his growly prayer-voice rising slightly. 'Oh God, please don't do that - although, if it is Thy will - '
The Lord spake unto him again, saying, 'Did you get up on the stupid side of the bed today, Lester?'
His eyes flew wide. God's voice, but: one of his mother's favorite sayings. A true miracle. 'No, Lord, no.'
'Then look again. What am I shewing you?'
'It's something about madness. Or blindness.'
'Which of the two dost thou thinkest most likely?'
Lester scored the verses. The only word repeated was blind.