Chapter 13
Kat found me an hour later sitting on the floor, leaning against the foot of my bed. Shock had settled in, and I felt as if I was buried under a sea of water. Too cold to react, numb and staring but not seeing.
Logan owned the farm. I’d been living here for two years thinking ... But the puzzle fit; it made sense—Matt bringing me here instead of the house in the city where the three of us had lived.
It had been their parents’ house before they died in a drinking and driving accident—their father was the driver and the drunk. He smashed into a cement bridge going ninety miles an hour.
Matt put the house on the market, a house I never thought he’d sell. Not only that, he also put his bar up for sale. It took several months, but the house and bar sold, and Matt bought instead a condo downtown and the farm, at least I thought he had. With the sale of his old bar, he purchased a new one and named it Avalanche.
Had Logan told them to move? Or had it been Deck? Why did they listen? How did they occupy the farm so quickly? And how did Logan buy it when he was with me?
Kat stood in the doorway. There were tears in her eyes. Kat never cried, not since we met when we were ten. “Can I come in?” And she never asked to come into my bedroom. She bounced in whenever it suited her.
I nodded, and she walked over and sat beside me, leaning against the bed, legs out, ankles crossed. She bowed her head and her short blonde hair swayed forward to cover her brilliant sea-blue eyes. She was a classic beauty; smooth and flawless skin, thin brows, and sharp features.
“Sculpt’s gone.” Of course if the farm belonged to Logan, Kat had known, and yet she’d never said a word. “When you disappeared that night ... God, Eme, it was like Armageddon.” I could see her hands shaking. Kat was always steady and sure of herself, full of life, no regrets. Not now. Now she looked worried. “When you didn’t come back from the bathroom that night, I got Matt. And then he called the police who weren’t much help considering you’re over eighteen, had been gone fifteen minutes, and we were at a bar. Matt lost it. He went right up on stage in the middle of the band jamming and shut it down. Everything. Closed the bar. When Sculpt found out ... he lost it. When his phone rang, his face ... as he listened ... it went so pale.
I was terrified. F*ck, it scared the shit out of all of us. Sculpt talked to Kite, and then he threw his guitar over the edge of the stage, broke it in half. He was ... Jesus, he was angry ... and scared, Emily. It was just a hint of it, but I swear he was scared. I didn’t think a man like him ... I’d never thought I’d see something so raw and exposed in him.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and lay my cheek on them. Tears began to leak from my eyes as I fought the feelings I was having at picturing Logan like that.
“He knew Emily. He knew what happened to you. We weren’t to tell the police anything otherwise your life ... He said if we did we’d never see you again. So we didn’t. He promised to bring you back. And then there was a mad rush to get hold of Georgie. She was the only one who had Deck’s emergency number. Sculpt left that night. I hadn’t seen him ... until today.”
“Why’d Matt sell the bar, Kat? And the house? It was your parents’ house. Why are you ... Why are we living on a farm that belongs to Sculpt?”
Kat reached over and took my hand. “I’d do anything for you ... you know that, right? Matt would too. You’re our family, Emily.” She squeezed my hand. “Kite told us about Sculpt’s dad. The sex trafficking.”
Tears fell faster as I thought of the girls I’d left behind, the girl with Kai who was so destroyed I didn’t think she’d ever come back from the abuse she’d suffered. I’d tried to forget them when ... when maybe they weren’t to be forgotten.
“Kite told us that if Sculpt ... no, when Sculpt got you out, you couldn’t go home. That you needed to start a new life somewhere else in case ... in case the plan failed, and Sculpt’s father tried to come back for you.” She shuffled closer so our shoulders touched. “Everything Matt and I own is now under my grandmother’s name, so Raul couldn’t link it to you. Or at least not as easily.”
“And the farm?”
“Sculpt bought it under a numbered company he has with Kite. I don’t know when that was set up or why, but Sculpt emptied out his account the day he left, gave everything to Kite and told him to buy a farm in the company’s name that had room for horses and immediate occupancy. He gave up the tour money. All of it, to buy the farm.”
Oh, God. Logan. No. His dream. For ... for my dream.
Kat paused, and I raised my head to look at her. There were tears streaming down her face, her black mascara leaking lines onto her cheeks. “I wanted to tell you. But when Matt brought you back, you were so angry and hurt, and then you were ... you were a zombie, Emily. Matt and I tried to talk to you, but it was like talking to a stone wall. You wanted to forget. So, after a while we let you.”
I lived in a dark hole for months, and it wasn’t the therapy that brought me back, it was the horses. Kat made me come to the barn and help her offload six horses from the trailer. Horses that were so skinny their heads sunk in and their spines stuck out. Their coats so dull that you couldn’t even tell what their real colors were. But the worst ... the worst was the look in their eyes. I knew that look so well. I’d seen it in Kai’s girl. Their eyes were dead. Glassed-over and dead. Their spirit ... It was gone—broken.
That was the day I began to fight to put myself back together. The horses and I rebuilt our trust and refilled the light in our eyes. The horses started to gallop in the fields, and I began to laugh. It was also when I decided that I’d stop living and hiding under Matt and Kat and earn enough to buy my own place and build a cliental helping others with their horses.
“Kite asked us never to tell you Sculpt and him owned the farm. He said you’d leave and you needed to stay.” Yeah, I probably would have. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if we were wrong to not tell you, but when those horses came ... Emily, you came alive, and Matt and I knew it was the right thing. You belonged here. And damn it, I did too. Never thought I’d like shoveling shit, but the horses are amazing, and ever since I started painting them, the demand for my work has tripled. Who would’ve thought we’d both be living our dreams doing what we love.”
I smiled. In the short time they’d been here, Kat was learning to ride and was often out fixing fences and repairing the tractor. She was also selling her art work in three galleries in the city.
I hadn’t been the only one who suffered. Matt and Kat had too. I’d put them through months of not speaking, the unwillingness to continue therapy even though I probably needed it. They stood by me and were there for me, never once telling me to stop hiding, to stop hating Logan, to stop feeling sorry for myself. No, they’d just accepted who I’d become and embraced it.
“Was it Sculpt’s idea to bring in the abused horses?” Of course it had to have been. I’d told him my dream of having my own horse farm and helping abused horses, and now I was living it. I felt sick to my stomach at how much I’d loathed him, and he’d ... he’d given me my dream and taken away his. I made good money helping people with their horses. He’d given me that.
“I’m guessing, but I don’t know for sure. None of us heard from Sculpt for months after you came back. Not even Kite. Deck went back down to Mexico, and this time he was gone a while. Don’t know what happened, but when Deck came back Sculpt wasn’t with him.” Kat laid her hand on top of mine. “I’m sorry, Emily. God, I wish I could take away what happened to both of you.”
“Do you know what happened there?” I could feel my chest tightening and the panic begin to creep into my veins at the thought of telling Kat.
She shook her head. “No. Not really. I just know when Matt brought you home you were so broken and hurt. I could see the anger behind your pain. I love you. Matt and I would do anything for you.” Her voice quieted. “Sculpt ... I know you hate him, but now that you know the truth maybe—”
“Kat. God, he ... he did everything to get me out, but I can’t. I just can’t.”
She lowered her head and nodded.
“I can’t forget. I get it. He did it to protect me. He got me out. And I guess ... He was a victim too. But the memories when I see him ... They’re too much of who he became.”
“If you ever want to ... Shit, Emily, I know you don’t want to go back to a therapist, but if you need to talk, I’m a good listener.”
I smiled. “Kat, you’re a horrible listener—you’re way too impatient.”
She laughed. “True.”
“Kat, you and Matt mean the world to me. You’re my family. After what happened ... you gave me time to heal. Yeah, I hate finding out Sculpt owns the farm. It makes me feel ...” Guilty, maybe. He’d given up his tour money so that I’d have a place to live and be safe from his father. “Kat, you and Matt gave up everything for me.”
“God, I hate to say this but, so did Sculpt.”
My breath hitched. I looked at her, and my insides twisted as if she’d just punched me in the stomach. She was right. He had. But she had no idea that Logan watched me being dragged away to be tortured. The worst was when Raul held the gun to my head and I heard his feet shift, and then ... he left me there.
In my head I knew the truth of why he had to do it that way, but I couldn’t let him in again. The trust. The laughter. All that had been good between us, it was tainted.
A second chance ... there wasn’t one for us.
Kat stood and placed her hands on her hips staring down at me. “I need a drink. You need a drink. Lots of drinks. And I’m sure Georgie needs lots of drinks, so we’re going to Avalanche tonight.”
I really didn’t feel like dancing or socializing, but staying here wondering if Logan was coming back was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to numb out the plague that was running through my head.
Kat went into action as she pulled open the closet doors and started tossing clothes out onto the bed. “Go put your makeup on. I’m picking you out something to wear. We’re looking extra hot tonight.”
What I wanted was a bottle of wine and to plop down in front of the TV. I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself for a long time in the mirror, unable to see who was looking back at me—the girl broken and lost to a man she fell in love with or a woman who learned to survive with a broken heart. Maybe I was a little of both.